吴晗晓美眉
1 too和two有一天小明不小心走路撞到一个外国人,他不好意思的说:「I am sorry.」「I am sorry,too.」外国人回答。「I am sorry three.」小明马上回道。「What are you sorry for?」外国人问。「I am sorry five…」小明说。2 关于模糊音.一家陕西人在纽约唐人街开了家餐馆,儿子当服务生,老妈管收钱,老爸做大厨。某一天,店里来了个老外,点了个套餐,吃到一半, " 咣当 " ,把汤碗打了。儿子跑过去看了一下,说: " 碗打了! "老外想: " one dollar,... ..."老妈听见声音,也过来看,见地上有个破碗,问: " 谁打的? "老外想: " three dollar?... ..."儿子说: " 他打的! "老外想: " ten dollar?! ... ..."老妈又说: " 还得打一碗! "老外想: " hundred and one?!?! ... ..."老爸正在厨房切菜,听见外面的声音,赶忙跑出来看怎么回事。忙乱中,忘了把菜刀放下。五大三粗的老爸,手持菜刀站在餐厅里,老外一看,心跳加速,血压急升,但更让他心碎加崩溃的是老爸的一番话。老爸对着正在加热炉上舀汤的儿子说: " 烫,少盛点儿! "老外: " ten thousand?!!3 关于名字的谐音SCENE: The Oval Office. George Bush and Condolezza Rice.(场景) 椭圆形办公室, 乔治布什 和国家安全顾问康多里扎赖斯George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?布什: 康迪(赖斯)! 很高兴见到你,发生什么事情了?Condi: Sir, I have the report about the new leader of China.赖斯:长官,我来向你汇报中国的新领导人George: Great. Let’s hear it.布什: 好极了,我们一起来听听!Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.赖斯:胡(谁)是中国的新领导人George: That’s what I want to know.布什:这就是我要知道的Condi: That’s what I’m telling you.赖斯:这就是我要告诉你的George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader ofChina?布什:这就是我要问你的,谁(胡)是中国的新领导人?Condi: Yes.赖斯:是的George: I mean the fellow’s name.布什:我是说那个人的名字Condi: Hu.赖斯:胡(谁)George: The guy in China.布什: 那个在中国的人Condi: Hu.赖斯:胡(谁)George: The new leader of China.布什:中国的新领导人!Condi: Hu.赖斯:胡(谁)George: The Chinese!布什:那个中国人!Condi: Hu is leading China.赖斯:胡(谁)领导中国George: Now whaddya’ asking me for?布什:啊?现在是你问我了?Condi: I’m telling you Hu is leading China.赖斯: 我在告诉你, 胡(谁)在领导中国George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?布什:我在问你,谁(胡)在领导中国?Condi: That’s the man’s name.赖斯:就是那人的名字George: That’s whose name?布什:就是谁(胡)的名字?Condi: Yes.赖斯:是的George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leaderof China?布什:你到底愿不愿意告诉我谁(胡)是中国的领导人?Condi: Yes sir.赖斯:是的,长官(亚瑟尔)George: Yassir? You mean Arafat is in China? I thought he was in theMiddle East.布什:亚瑟尔?你是说阿拉法特在中国?我以为他在中东呢Condi: That’s correct.赖斯:没错George: Then who is in China?布什:那么谁(胡)在中国?Condi: Yes, sir.赖斯:是的长官(亚瑟尔)George: Yassir is in China?布什:亚瑟尔在中国??Condi: No, sir.赖斯:不,长官George: Then who is?布什:那么谁(胡)在?Condi: Yes, sir.赖斯:是的长官(亚瑟尔)George: Yassir?布什:亚瑟尔?Condi: No, sir赖斯:不,长官.George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader ofChina. Get m e the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. I bethe knows.布什:听着,赖斯.我要知道中国新领导人的名字,给我接联合国秘书长.我觉得他会知道Condi: Kofi?赖斯:科费(咖啡)?George: No, thanks.布什:不,谢谢Condi: You want Kofi?赖斯:你要科费(咖啡)?George: No.布什:不!!Condi: You don’t want Kofi.赖斯:那么你不要科费(咖啡)George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass ofmilk. And then get me the U.N.布什:不,但是既然你提到它,我要杯牛奶就可以了,然后给我接联合国Condi: Yes, sir.赖斯:是的长官(亚瑟尔)George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.布什:不是亚瑟尔!是联合国的头!Condi: Kofi?赖斯:科费(咖啡)?George: No, milk! Will you please make the call?布什:不,牛奶!你给我接通电话好不?Condi: Call who?赖斯:给谁打?George: Who is the guy at the U.N?布什:谁(胡)是联合国的头?Condi: Hu is the guy in China.赖斯:胡(谁)是中国的头George: Will you stay out of China?!布什:你能不能不提中国了?!Condi: Yes, sir.赖斯:是的长官(亚瑟尔)George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at theU.N!布什:也别提中东了!给我接通联合国的头就好了!Condi: Kofi?赖斯:科费(咖啡)?George: All right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone.布什:好啦好啦!那就少加点糖吧!给我接电话(Condi picks up the phone.)(赖斯拿起电话)Condi: Rice here赖斯:赖斯在这(这有米饭)George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too布什:米饭?好主意。在来两个蛋卷。基本上都是找的没有原创 惭愧

CENGUODIAN13247606080
有一天小明不小心走路撞到一个外国人,他不好意思的说:「I am sorry.」 「I am sorry,too.」外国人回答。 「I am sorry three.」小明马上回道。 「What are you sorry for?」外国人问。 「I am sorry five…」小明说。2 关于模糊音.一家陕西人在纽约唐人街开了家餐馆,儿子当服务生,老妈管收钱,老爸做大厨。某一天,店里来了个老外,点了个套餐,吃到一半, " 咣当 " ,把汤碗打了。 儿子跑过去看了一下,说: " 碗打了! " 老外想: " one dollar,... ..." 老妈听见声音,也过来看,见地上有个破碗,问: " 谁打的? " 老外想: " three dollar?... ..." 儿子说: " 他打的! " 老外想: " ten dollar?! ... ..." 老妈又说: " 还得打一碗! " 老外想: " hundred and one?!?! ... ..." 老爸正在厨房切菜,听见外面的声音,赶忙跑出来看怎么回事。忙乱中,忘了把菜刀放下。 五大三粗的老爸,手持菜刀站在餐厅里,老外一看,心跳加速,血压急升,但更让他心碎加崩溃的是老爸的一番话。 老爸对着正在加热炉上舀汤的儿子说: " 烫,少盛点儿! " 老外: " ten thousand?!!3 关于名字的谐音 SCENE: The Oval Office. George Bush and Condolezza Rice. (场景) 椭圆形办公室, 乔治布什 和国家安全顾问康多里扎赖斯 George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening? 布什: 康迪(赖斯)! 很高兴见到你,发生什么事情了? Condi: Sir, I have the report about the new leader of China. 赖斯:长官,我来向你汇报中国的新领导人 George: Great. Let’s hear it. 布什: 好极了,我们一起来听听! Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. 赖斯:胡(谁)是中国的新领导人 George: That’s what I want to know. 布什:这就是我要知道的 Condi: That’s what I’m telling you. 赖斯:这就是我要告诉你的 George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China? 布什:这就是我要问你的,谁(胡)是中国的新领导人? Condi: Yes. 赖斯:是的 George: I mean the fellow’s name. 布什:我是说那个人的名字 Condi: Hu. 赖斯:胡(谁) George: The guy in China. 布什: 那个在中国的人 Condi: Hu. 赖斯:胡(谁) George: The new leader of China. 布什:中国的新领导人! Condi: Hu. 赖斯:胡(谁) George: The Chinese! 布什:那个中国人! Condi: Hu is leading China. 赖斯:胡(谁)领导中国 George: Now whaddya’ asking me for? 布什:啊?现在是你问我了? Condi: I’m telling you Hu is leading China. 赖斯: 我在告诉你, 胡(谁)在领导中国 George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China? 布什:我在问你,谁(胡)在领导中国? Condi: That’s the man’s name. 赖斯:就是那人的名字 George: That’s whose name? 布什:就是谁(胡)的名字? Condi: Yes. 赖斯:是的 George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China? 布什:你到底愿不愿意告诉我谁(胡)是中国的领导人? Condi: Yes sir. 赖斯:是的,长官(亚瑟尔) George: Yassir? You mean Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East. 布什:亚瑟尔?你是说阿拉法特在中国?我以为他在中东呢 Condi: That’s correct. 赖斯:没错 George: Then who is in China? 布什:那么谁(胡)在中国? Condi: Yes, sir. 赖斯:是的长官(亚瑟尔) George: Yassir is in China? 布什:亚瑟尔在中国?? Condi: No, sir. 赖斯:不,长官 George: Then who is? 布什:那么谁(胡)在? Condi: Yes, sir. 赖斯:是的长官(亚瑟尔) George: Yassir? 布什:亚瑟尔? Condi: No, sir 赖斯:不,长官. George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get m e the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. I bet he knows. 布什:听着,赖斯.我要知道中国新领导人的名字,给我接联合国秘书长.我 觉得他会知道 Condi: Kofi? 赖斯:科费(咖啡)? George: No, thanks. 布什:不,谢谢 Condi: You want Kofi? 赖斯:你要科费(咖啡)? George: No. 布什:不!! Condi: You don’t want Kofi. 赖斯:那么你不要科费(咖啡) George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N. 布什:不,但是既然你提到它,我要杯牛奶就可以了,然后给我接联合国 Condi: Yes, sir. 赖斯:是的长官(亚瑟尔) George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N. 布什:不是亚瑟尔!是联合国的头! Condi: Kofi? 赖斯:科费(咖啡)? George: No, milk! Will you please make the call? 布什:不,牛奶!你给我接通电话好不? Condi: Call who? 赖斯:给谁打? George: Who is the guy at the U.N? 布什:谁(胡)是联合国的头? Condi: Hu is the guy in China. 赖斯:胡(谁)是中国的头 George: Will you stay out of China?! 布什:你能不能不提中国了?! Condi: Yes, sir. 赖斯:是的长官(亚瑟尔) George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N! 布什:也别提中东了!给我接通联合国的头就好了! Condi: Kofi? 赖斯:科费(咖啡)? George: All right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone. 布什:好啦好啦!那就少加点糖吧!给我接电话 (Condi picks up the phone.) (赖斯拿起电话) Condi: Rice here 赖斯:赖斯在这(这有米饭) George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too 布什:米饭?好主意。在来两个蛋卷。Im a nice,a bus,end a earth.me yes 我奶死,爸死,儿死,我噎死。(最后一个纯属自创版,请勿抄袭!!)
wuyan841106
有很多,下面列举几个。
1、What is the most contradictory sign in a library?
Speaking aloud is not allowed.
图书馆里最矛盾的提示是什么?
不允许大声说话。
注:Aloud(大声)与 allowed(允许)同音。
2、Why can't a bicycle stand by itself?
It's too tired.
为什么自行车不能单独站立?
它太累了。
注:Too tired与two tyres(轮胎)谐音。
3、What color is the wind?
Blue.
风是什么颜色?
蓝色。
注:blew(b1ow(吹)的过去式)与blue同音。
4、Why is the library the highest building?
It has the most stories.
为什么图书馆是最高的建筑?
它故事最多。
注:story(故事)与storey(层)同音。
5、What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
你把一直没有眼睛的鹿叫做什么?
没有眼的鹿。
注:No eye deer(没有眼的鹿)与No idea(不知道)谐音。
6、Customer: Waiter, why are youu staring at my vegetables?
Waiter:Sir, you said check peas.
Customer:You idiot, I said check please!
顾客:服务员,为什么盯着我的蔬菜?
服务员:先生,你说检查豌豆。
顾客:你傻啊,我说请结账!
注:check peas(检查豌豆)与check please(请结账)谐音。
英语谐音梗还有很多,大多是单词之间读音类似而造成。
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