框框拆拆远行车
He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗? 约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿? 约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。 I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?” “一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的。” Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生。”那小男孩说。 英语小笑话 上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著 性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的 一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是 A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了. A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"且话偻蚰昴?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟." 1,Two birls Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 两只鸟 老师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗? 学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。 老师:请说说看。 学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。 2. The Fish Net "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. 鱼网 "你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?" 老师发问道。 "把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。 3. The New Teacher George comes from school on the first of September. "George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother. "I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....." 新老师 9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里。 "乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?" 妈妈问。 "妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。" 4. A physics Examination Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls? Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears. 一次物理考试 在一次物理考试时,当同学们都还在苦思冥想时,尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。 这个问题是:为什么在打雷时,我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声? 尼克的回答是:因为眼睛在前,耳朵在后。 Jim’s History Examination Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination? Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born. 吉姆的历史考试 舅舅:吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样? 母亲:唉,糟透了。可话又说回来,这也不能怪他。嗨,他们尽问一些这个 可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。
梁山好汉v
Little RobertLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two centsmore. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”“她是个卖糖果的。”
月球的球球
1.Our Tails 我们的尾巴The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?"教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时,他的话题又来了:“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴,那么现在尾巴到哪里去了?”"I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.".“我来试试看,”一位老太太说。 “该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。”2.I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “孩子,你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?” “没有,老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进,一个耳朵里出,所以我要把它堵在里面。” 3.“I'm sorry ,Madam ,but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ,I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ,but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起,夫人,为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元!为什么?不是说好只要4美元。” “是的,但是你的孩子大喊大叫,把另外四个病人吓跑了。” 4,The Story of the Christ Child and Christmas When Rome was a great Empire ruled by Caesar Augustus and Israel was governed by King Herod, in the village of Nazareth lived Joseph and Mary. Joseph was a carpenter and Mary was a young virgin who would become his wife. Mary told Joseph of a dream in which she was visited by an angel who told her she had been chosen to bear the Son of God and his name was to be Jesus........当罗马帝国是一个伟大的奥古斯都凯撒和以色列统治被统治被希律王在拿撒勒村庄,住约瑟夫和玛丽。约瑟夫是个木匠,玛丽是一个年轻的处女谁将会成为他的妻子。玛丽说,她在其中一个是由天使是谁告诉她,她已被选定承担上帝的儿子,他的名字是耶稣约瑟访问梦想。……5,感恩节的由来 the history of Thanksgiving DayMost stories of Thanksgiving history start with the harvest celebration of the pilgrims and the Native Americans that took place in the autumn of 1621. Although they did have a three-day feast in celebration of a good harvest, and the local natives did participate, this "first thanksgiving" was not a holiday, simply a gathering. There is little evidence that this feast of thanks led directly to our modern Thanksgiving Day holiday. Thanksgiving can, however, be traced back to 1863 when Pres. Lincoln became the first president to proclaim Thanksgiving Day. The holiday has been a fixture of late November ever since.However, since most school children are taught that the first Thanksgiving was held in 1621 with the Pilgrims and Indians, let us take a closer look at just what took place leading up to that event, and then what happened in the centuries afterward that finally gave us our modern Thanksgiving.感恩与朝圣者和发生在1621年秋天举行的美洲原住民庆祝丰收的历史开始的楼层最多。虽然他们确实有一个好收成的庆祝为期三天的节日,和当地土人确实参与,这个“第一次感恩节”是不放假,只是一个聚会。很少有证据表明,这直接导致的感谢我们的节日感恩节假期现代化。感恩可以,但是,要追溯到1863年的时候普雷什。林肯成为第一位总统宣布感恩节。这个节日一直是11月下旬以来,夹具。然而,由于大多数学校教导孩子们第一次感恩节是在1621年举行的朝圣者和印第安人,只是让我们看看发生了什么导致这一事件仔细一看,然后又如何在数百年之后,终于发生了我们的现代感恩节。6,The old cat 猫An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."一位老妇有一只猫。猫很老,她无法运行很快,她咬不了,因为年纪太大了。有一天,老猫发现一只老鼠,她跳起来,抓住了老鼠。但她咬不了它,因此,老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了,因为老猫咬不了它。7,Beauty 美丽人生There were a sensitivity and a beauty to her that have nothing to do with looks. She was one to be listened to, whose words were so easy to take to heart.It is said that the true nature of being is veiled. The labor of words, the expression of art, the seemingly ceaseless buzz that is human thought all have in common the need to get at what really is so. The hope to draw close to and possess the truth of being can be a feverish one. In some cases it can even be fatal, if pleasure is one’s truth and its attainment more important than life itself. In other lives, though, the search for what is truthful gives life.I used to find notes left in the collection basket, beautiful notes about my homilies and about the writer’s thoughts on the daily scriptural readings. The person who penned the notes would add reflections to my thoughts and would always include some quotes from poets and mystics he or she had read and remembered and loved. The notes fascinated me. Here was someone immersed in a search for truth and beauty. Words had been treasured, words that were beautiful. And I felt as if the words somehow delighted in being discovered, for they were obviously very generous to the as yet anonymous writer of the notes. And now this person was in turn learning the secret of sharing them. Beauty so shines when given away. The only truth that exists is, in that sense, free. 她有着一种与外表无关的灵气和美丽。她的话语轻而易举地征服了人心,她正是我们要聆听的声音。 很多人都说人生的真谛是个未知的概念。言词的费力诠释、艺术的着力表现还有人类那似乎永无休止的纷繁思考,三者都苦苦追寻人生的真谛。希望走近以至完全把握存在的真意可以令人十分狂热。有时候,有些人以自己笃信的真理为志趣,追寻真理甚于保全生命,于是就有舍生取义之举。然而,也有另外的一种人生,他们在寻求真谛的过程中灌溉生命。 过去,我常常在教堂的心意篮里面发现一些优美的小短文,有些是关于我的布道,有些是作者日常读《圣经》的感想。写这些短文的人不仅对我的一些观点加以反思,同时还会引用一些他/她曾经读过的,令他/她难忘又喜爱的诗人或者神秘主义者的话。我给这些短文迷住了。我看到了一个执着于追寻真与美的人。其珍而重之的字句,优美动人。我还感觉到好像那些字句也乐于让我们发现,它们是那么毫无保留地,慷慨地为这无名氏作者借用,而现在轮到这位无名氏来学习与人分享这些美文的奥秘。分享令美愈加闪耀生辉,在这个意义上说,其实世上唯一的真理是分毫不费的。8,Scary Vampire Story 恐怖的吸血鬼故事Vampire, the blood sucking ghost, has both terrified and fascinated people at the same time. Scary tales including vampires are perfect to be told on the occasion of Halloween. You can simply enthrall children and glue them to their seats by narrating a gory vampire story. The story of a valiant vampire hunter will also interest young kids. Try to be animated while telling the story, in the dark, for the desired effect. You can invite your friends to join the listeners as well. It will make the story-telling more fun for you. Here, we have listed a scary vampire story, just for you!吸血鬼,有在同一时间都吓坏了,让人心醉。可怕的吸血鬼故事是完美的,包括要在万圣节之际说。你可以简单地迷住孩子和胶水到他们的座位,叙述一个血淋淋的吸血鬼故事。一个勇敢的吸血鬼猎人的故事也将年幼的孩子的兴趣。试着在讲述故事的动画,在黑暗中为达到预期效果。您可以邀请您的朋友加入听众以及。它会为你讲故事更有趣。在这里,我们列出了一个可怕的吸血鬼故事,只为你!
一抹熙云
2.I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “孩子,你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?” “没有,老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进,一个耳朵里出,所以我要把它堵在里面。” 支持“ 威尔鱼的蓝天”说的这个 非常容易背
藏青妹妹
Last week, Mrs Black went to London. She didn’t know London very well, and she lost her way. Suddenly she saw a man near a bus stop. She went up to the man and said, “Excuse me! Can you tell me the way to the hospital, please?” The man smiled. He didn’t know English! He came from Germany. But then he put his hand into his pocket, and took out an English dictionary. He looked up some words. Then he said slowly, “I’m sorry I can’t understand you.”上周,布莱克夫人去了一趟伦敦。她不太熟悉伦敦,结果她迷路了。突然她在一个公共汽车站附近看见一位男子。她急忙向这位男子走去,说道:“劳驾您一下!请您告诉我去医院的路,好吗?”这位男子笑了。他听不懂英语。他来自德国。但是他将手伸进了自己的衣袋里,从里面掏出了一本英语词典。他查找到了一些单词。然后他一字一句地说:“我很抱歉我听不懂你说的话。”
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