30秒英语小故事

man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟." Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"! 四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!" 呵呵,一个比一个效率高. Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!! 拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!!" My Baby Swallowed a Bullet Young Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ? Doctor: "Don't point him at anybody." Notes 1. to swallow a bullet: 吞下一颗子弹 2. to point at: 对...瞄准 个中意味自己体会吧 :) allybaby Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?" 两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”

man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

1. Two birds（ 两只鸟）Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? （老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？）Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. （学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。）Teacher: Please tell us. （老师：请说说看。）Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.(学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。) 2. Baby Rabbit: Mommy, where did I come from? 兔宝宝：妈咪，我是从哪儿来的呢？ Mother Rabbit: I'll tell you when you're older. 兔妈妈：等你长大点再告诉你。 Baby Rabbit: Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now. 兔宝宝：噢妈咪，现在就告诉我吧，求您了。 Mother Rabbit: If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat. 兔妈妈：如果你一定要知道，那我告诉你你是从魔术师的帽子里被拽出来的。 3. A Good Boy 好孩子Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. (小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。)"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" (“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”)"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. (“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。)"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" ( “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”)"She is the one who sells the candy." (“她是个卖糖果的。”) 4. How much English can you speak? (你会说多少英文？） "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"中文翻译："法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。而且，他只会说几个英语单词。"法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文？"被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我！" 5、 “Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying." "Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any." "But has he finished his own cake?" "Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."中文翻译："汤姆，你弟弟怎么了？" 妈妈在厨房里问。"他在哭。""没事儿，妈妈，" 汤姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因为我不给他吃。""他已经吃完自己的了么？""是的。" "我帮他吃完时，他也哭了。"6、 A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket." The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?" The first guys says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!" 路人甲对路人乙说，"猜猜我兜里有几个子儿？" 路人乙说："我猜对了，你能给我一个不？" 路人甲说："你要猜对了，我两个全部给你！" 7、 Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor's consulting-room."Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago.""Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?""To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn't need the money so badly then."中文翻译：一个看起来很难受的穷人走进大夫的诊室。"大夫！"他说，"帮帮我！一个月前我吞了一分硬币！""天哪，"大夫说，"早干嘛去了？你当时怎么不来看？""实话告诉您吧，大夫，"穷人说，"我当时还不缺钱！" 8、In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, "What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?" "To be deaf," replied the boy. "Nonsense!" said the teacher angrily. "Why, sir! Don't you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?" the boy asked in reply disdainfully.中文翻译：在一次音乐学院的入学考试中，老师问其中一个男孩："音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么？""耳聋，"男孩答道。"胡说！"老师气愤地说。"怎么了，先生！难道您不知道大名鼎鼎的音乐家贝多芬是个聋子吗？"男孩轻蔑地反问道。

儿童寓言故事Story 1 Three Good Friends One day, a monkey rides his bike near the river. This time he sees a lion under a tree. The lion runs at him. He is afraid and falls into the river. He can’t swim. He shouts. The rabbit hears him. He jumps into the river. The rabbit swims to the monkey, but he can’t help him. Luckily, an elephant comes along. He is very strong. He helps the rabbit and monkey. Three friends are very happy. They go to the elephant’s home. Then, three of them become good friends. 故事一 三个好朋友一天，一只猴子在河边骑车。这时他看见树下有一只狮子，狮子向他跑来。他非常的害怕，掉进河里。他不会游泳，大叫起来。兔子听见了，跳进水里，但他却没有办法救猴子。幸运的是，一只大象过来了。大象非常强壮，救出了兔子和猴子。他们来到大象的家，在那里吃了一顿大餐。从此他们成了好朋友。Story 2 A Good BoyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 故事二 好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” Story 3 Spring in the Green Season Spring is coming. Spring is the first season of the year. In China, spring comes in February. It is still cold, but it is getting warmer and warmer. The days get longer and longer. The leaves on the trees begin to turn green. Then they come up green leaves in the spring wind on the ground. Spring is also sowing time season. 故事三 春天来了，春天是每年的第一个季节。在中国，春天二月来临，那时候还是很冷，但是会运来月暖和，白昼悦来越长。树上的叶子开始变绿，沐浴着大地春风长出了嫩芽。春天也播种的季节。

Story 1 Three Good Friends One day, a monkey rides his bike near the river. This time he sees a lion under a tree. The lion runs at him. He is afraid and falls into the river. He can’t swim. He shouts. The rabbit hears him. He jumps into the river. The rabbit swims to the monkey, but he can’t help him. Luckily, an elephant comes along. He is very strong. He helps the rabbit and monkey. Three friends are very happy. They go to the elephant’s home. Then, three of them become good friends.故事一 三个好朋友一天， 一只猴子在河边骑车。这时他看见树下有一只狮子，狮子向他跑来。他非常的害怕，掉进河里。他不会游泳，大叫起来。兔子听见了，跳进水里，但他却没有办法救猴子。幸运的是，一只大象过来了。大象非常强壮，救出了兔子和猴子。他们来到大象的家，在那里吃了一顿大餐。从此他们成了好朋友。Story 2 The Old Man and the Old Cat An old man has a cat. The cat is very old, too. He runs very quickly. And his teeth are bad. One evening, the old cat sees a little mouse. He catches it, but he can’t eat it because his teeth are not strong enough. The mouse runs away. The old man is very angry. He beats his cat. He says: “You are a fool cat. I will punish you!” the cat is very sad. He thinks：“When I was young, I worked hard for you. Now you don’t like me because I’m too old to work. You should know you are old, too.”故事二 老人和老猫 一个年迈的老人养一只猫。这只猫也非常老了。她跑得很快，但是牙齿很糟糕。一天王还是那个，这只老猫看见一只小老鼠。它抓住了小老鼠，但是它却吃不了它，因为它的牙齿不够锋利了。这只小老鼠逃跑了。 老人很生气，他打了小猫，并且对它说：“你这只蠢猫！我要惩罚你！”猫非常伤心，它想：“在我还年轻的时候，我为你努力工作。现在你却因为我太老了不能工作而不喜欢我。你应该知道你也老了。”Story 3 Spring in the Green Season Spring is coming. Spring is the first season of the year. In China, spring comes in February. It is still cold, but it is getting warmer and warmer. The days get longer and longer. The leaves on the trees begin to turn green. Then they come up green leaves in the spring wind on the ground. Spring is also sowing time season.故事三 春天来了，春天是每年的第一个季节。在中国，春天二月来临，那时候还是很冷，但是会运来月暖和，白昼悦来越长。树上的叶子开始变绿，沐浴着大地春风长出了嫩芽。 春天也播种的季节。Story 4 Look for a Friend Sam is a little fish. He lives in the sea. He is very lonely. He wants to have a friend. The friend looks like him. Sam sees an ink fish. The ink fish has eight legs. He doesn’t look like Sam. So Sam goes away. Sam meets a shark. He wants to say hello to the shark. The shark opens his big mouth. Sam runs away quickly. Sam is tired and hungry. He wants to have a rest. Then he sees a round fish. She says to him. “Hello! Would you like to be my friend?” Sam answers: “Of course! But you are sound. I am flat.” The round fish days: “But we are both fishes.” Sam thinks and says, “You are right. Let’s be friends.” They become good friends.故事四： 找朋友 塞姆是一条小鱼，他在海里。他生在海里。他很孤独，想要找一个朋友，那个朋友看起来要想他。 塞姆看见一条墨鱼。墨鱼有8条腿，看上去不像塞姆。因此塞姆游走了。塞姆遇见一条鲨鱼。他想跟鲨鱼问好。鲨鱼张开大嘴，塞姆有迅速地逃走了。塞姆又累又饿，他要休息一会儿。这时他看见一条圆鱼，圆鱼对他说：“你好！你愿意做我的朋友吗？”塞姆回答：“好哇！可你是圆形的，我是扁的。”圆鱼说：“但是我们俩都是鱼啊！”塞姆思考后说：“你讲得对，让我们做朋友吧。”他们就成为好朋友了。