Hello，umi酱！
（道具：小床、门） Mum: Tom get up ! Tom Yes ,mummy. Good moring,mummy. Mum: Good moring,Tom. Mum: Breakfast is reday. Tom: I\'m coming. Wow, eggs ! I like eggs. Mum: Now, Tom. Wash your face. Tom: Yes, I will. Mum: Brush your teeth. Tom: All right. Tom: Moring, Daddy. Dad: Moring, dear. Tom: I\'m hungry. Mum: Have an egg, please. Tom: Thanks, mummy. I want some milk. Mum: Here you are. Tom: I\'m full. Mum: Time to go to school. Tom: Where is my school bag? Mum: Here it is. Are you ready? Tom: Yes. Goodbye, mummy. Goodbye ,daddy. Mum&Dad: Goodbye, Tom. （上学路上，一段跳舞的动作，配乐） Tom: Hello WiWi. WiWi: Hello Tom. Tom: Are you going to school? WiWi: Yes. Let\'s go. Jane: Hello Tom ,hello WiWi. Tom &WiWi: Hello Jane. Jane : Are you going to school? Tom &WiWi: Yes. Let\'s go. （上课，铃声响，一段跳舞和做游戏，配乐） Mr Xu: Now class begins. Pupils: Stand up! Mr Xu: Hello, boys and girls. Pupils: Hello Mr Xu. Mr Xu : Sit down, please. Are you all here? Monitors: No. Mr Xu: Let\'s count. Pupils: One , two, three, four...ten （咚咚咚） May: May I come in? Mr Xu: Come in, please. May: Sorry, I\'m late. Mr Xu: That\'s all right. Don\'t be late again Mr Xu: Let\'s play. Show me one. Pupils : (Show a ginger.) Mr Xu: Clap two. Pupils: (clap their hands). Mr Xu : Today we will learn some songs. Who can try? Puple : I can . Mr Xu : Please. (Happy new year! Eyes and ears. Trian is coming. Fish where are you) （看一下手表）Class is over. Goodbye boys and girls. Pupils: Goodbye . 人物：Mummy, Daddy, Tom, Mr Xu, May A(衣衫褴褛） B（衣着光鲜） C小花 E椅子 F新闻记者 B坐在E上吃东西，A一乞丐上前 A：先生，先生，请给我些面包，谢谢，我饿得不行了。 B：（厌恶）让开，让开。（然后便起身离开，这时他的钱包掉到E上头了） A：先生，先生（A看见后，立即拾起，追上了走远的B） B：让开，让开啊，我没吃的了，也没钱了（看也不看A，仍自顾自地走了） C：他真愚蠢啊 A：可……先生……您听我说……（仍拉着B衣服的后摆） B：挖，你这人怎么这么讨厌！（还是没有回头看A一眼） C：椅子啊，你会不会觉得刚刚坐在你身上的人特愚蠢？ E：唉，人总是这么愚蠢啊~~~~ 与此同时A与B还在纠缠，这时E终于隐忍不住爆发了。 E：先生！你的钱包丢了！你怎么这么傻啊。 A与B同时回头，看见了那会说话的椅子E，吓昏过去了。这一幕恰巧被经过的F看见了。于是F就报道了这一事件。 F：大家好，我是新闻记者F，今天我看见了一个奇异的现象，一个椅子说话了，两个人被吓昏了，下面我将采访一下被吓昏的两个人。 B：哦，上帝，哦，妈妈。 F：这个人傻了，我们不鸟他了，下面我采访一下另一个人吧，请问你为什么不告诉他，他的钱包丢了？ A：对不起，我不知道“钱包”这个单词怎么讲…… F：通过这一事件，我们可以认识到，掌握一门外语的重要性，以及金钱给人类带来的影响。是吗，椅子？ E：是啊，是啊（E傻傻地拼命点头） C：唉，人可真愚蠢，椅子也被他们弄傻了. A:sir,sir,please give me a piece of bread.thank you,sir.I'm hungry to die. B:get away,get away,dirty man. A:sir,sir!! B:run away,please run away.I have no food,and I don't have money,either. C:hey,xiao D,he is so foolish,isn't he? A:but....sir....please listen to me..... B:wa,why are you so disgusting!! C:hey,chair,do you feel the man sat on you a moment ago is very stupid. E:ai,pretty flower,do you know,men are always very silly. E:sir!you lost your wallet!can't you be more clever? F:good morning,everybody.I'm a jonrnist F. Today I saw a very weird thing--a chair open her mouth,and two men are frightened to faint.now,I will intenview the two nozzy man. B:wo,my god,wo,my,mum. F:I'm sorry to tell you this man has been mad.we needn't take notice of him.let me interview the other man,hello,man,can you tell men why didn't you tell him he lost his wallet? A:I'm sorry,I don't know how to speak "钱包" in english...... F:dear audience,through this thing we can learn that how improtant it is to mastery a foreign language,and how lagre the money affect us.is that all right,chair? E:yes,yes. C:ai,men is so silly.
一叶扁舟85
英语童话剧：白雪公主<剧本>SNOW WHITE CONTENTSSW---白雪公主 Q---皇后 M---魔镜 H---猎人P---白马王子 D---小矮人 A---小动物音乐起，旁白A long time ago, In a beautiful kingdom, there lived a young king and queen, the people loved them so much; the queen died while giving birth to a girl, her name was Snow White, She was a beautiful princess. Year passed, the king got married again, The people didn’t love the new queen, because she was cruel.One day, In the king’s palace:----白雪出场S.w: My name is S.w , I am a beautiful princess, I miss my mother so much, Where is my mother? Where is my mother?音乐起，皇后、魔镜出场Q: I am a queen, I’m very beautiful,Where is Mirror?Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s the most beautiful?M: S.w is much more beautiful than you!Q: Hunter, go kill S.w.猎人出场H: Yes, my queen音乐起，小动物出场，追赶猎人，公主惊慌出逃S.w: Help me ,help me, please, pleaseA: what’s the matter with you?S.w: The hunter…hunter…A: bite you bite you …小动物追赶猎人下场S.w: I am tried and hungry, oh, there is a little house ,I will eat a little and lie down.音乐起，7个小矮人出场，D: 1/Look, somebody ate my food----2/somebody drank my water----3/someone is sleeping now----4/What a beautiful girl!----小矮人睡觉----音乐起公主先醒了----小矮人醒了----对话5/How do you do?S.w: How do you do? My name is S.w …Nice to meet you!D: （齐说）Nice to meet you ,too----6/ welcome to our house!----7/Would you like to live here?S.w: My pleasure, thank you very much!D: Let’s go out for our work, bye-bye, S.W皇后、魔镜出场Q: Mirror, mirror on the wall,who’s the most beautiful?M: S.w is much more beautiful than you!Q: What? S.w is not dead?Hahaha, I got a good idea!音乐起，皇后扮演老太太出场，对话Q: Apple ,apple, beautiful apple,S.w: Hello, Good morning grandma!Q: pretty girl ,would you like a bite?S.w: Oh, yes ,thank you grandma!白雪公主咬一口后倒地Q: The girl is dead! Hahaha…小矮人出场、围着公主哭S.w wake up, wake up…音乐起，动物引着王子出场P: A beautiful girl! She shall be my queen!王子吻公主，公主醒了S.w: Thank you for your help!P: My pleasure
guaziqiaqia
威尼斯商人——适合英语课堂4人话剧表演（加上故事的介绍，要五个人）故事介绍： 《威尼斯商人》 是莎士比亚早期的重要作品，是一部具有极大讽刺性的喜剧。大约作于1596~1597年。剧本的主题是歌颂仁爱、友谊和爱情，同时也反映了资本主义早期商业资产阶级与高利贷者之间的矛盾，表现了作者对资产阶级社会中金钱、法律和宗教等问题的人文主义思想。这部剧作的一个重要文学成就，就是塑造了夏洛克这一惟利是图、冷酷无情的高利贷者的典型形象。故事开始： S: I ask for what is mine by law! 夏洛克：我要求得到根据法律属于我的东西。B: I offer ten times the money that Antonio has borrowed. Please change the law a little so that we may save Antonio. 巴萨尼奥：我愿出十倍于安东尼奥的借款，请您把法律稍为变更一下，使我们能够救出安东尼奥的生命。 P: We cannot change a law. If one law is changed, then people will later want to change other laws. According to the law, Shylock may have a pound of flesh to be cut off by him 鲍西娅：我们不能变更法律是变更了一条法律，那么人们还会要变更别的法律的。 根据法律，夏洛克可以得到一磅肉S: Oh, wise young judge! 夏洛克：噢，聪明年轻的法官啊！ A： Do all men kill the things they do not love?安东尼奥：难道所有的人都要铲除他们所不爱的东西吗？P: Do you wish to say anything, Antonio? 鲍西娅：安东尼奥，你还想说什么吗？ A: Only a little. Goodbye Bassanio. Don't be sad for me. Tell your wife about me and how much I loved you. If Shylock cuts deep enough, I'll pay him back with all my heart. 安东尼奥：我只想说一点。巴萨尼奥，永别了。不要为我悲伤。把我的情况告诉你的妻子，对她说我多么爱你。要是夏洛克割得够深的话，我就要以整个心偿还他的债了。 B: Let me take you in my arms and say goodbye. I love you more than my own life, more than my wife, and more than all the world. 巴萨尼奥：让我拥抱你一下，说声再见吧。我爱你胜过爱我自己的生命、自己的妻子和整个世界。P: Do you have a doctor, Shylock, to stop Antonio's blood? 鲍西娅：夏洛克，你是否请了医生来给安东尼奥止血呢？S:BUT no the requirement in this contract夏洛克：借约上可没有这一条。B: That fox! 巴萨尼奥：你这只狐狸！P: Take your pound of flesh! But he has not promised to give you any of his blood. If you let one drop of his blood fall, you will lose all your land and all your money. 鲍西娅：割走你要的那一磅肉吗。但是他并没有答应给你他身上的任何一滴血。要是你让他身上的血流下一滴，你将失去你所有的土地和财产。S: Is that the law? 夏洛克：法律上是这样说的吗？ P: That is the law.That is the justice,鲍西娅：这就是法律。这就是公正A:Oh, learned judge! Oh, wise young man! 安东尼奥：噢，博学的法官！噢，聪明的年轻人！ S: I want the money. Give me ten times the money that I borrow to Antonio.夏洛克：我愿意要钱。请给我加10倍还给我安东尼奥向我借的钱B: Here it is. (He cries out, full of joy.) 巴萨尼奥：钱在这儿。（他满怀喜悦地喊了出来。） P: Wait, Shylock. The law of Venice says that if anyone tries to kill or murder any citizen of Venice,everything that he owns shall be taken away from him.therefore, go down on your knees and beg the Duke for mercy. 鲍西娅：等一等，夏洛克。威尼斯的法律规定任何企图杀害或谋害任何威尼斯公民的人，他所有的一切必须被没收。因此你快快跪下请求公爵开恩吧S: Good sir. I beg for mercy and beg your pardon.. When you take my money away from me, you also take my life. 夏洛克：仁慈的先生，我乞求你的饶恕和原谅。我的钱财对我就像生命一样宝贵。你们没收了我的财物，也就是要了我的命。 A: I shall be happy to give up my part of Shylock's money. Shylock must promise to leave the money upon his death to his daughter and her husband. 安东尼奥：我将高兴地放弃我应得的夏洛克财产的那一半。夏洛克必须答应在他死后把这笔财产留给他的女儿和女婿S: I promise. Let me go home now. I am not well. 夏洛克：我答应。现在让我回家吧。我不舒服。 A B:Young bright judge!Ah I really admire you!安东尼奥，巴萨尼奥：年轻明亮的法管 我真的很佩服你（好心的我尽力了，祝你成功！）上边的白雪公主不错，可以试试ao
出格范儿
《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧）本文来自: 恒星英语学习网(www.Hxen.com) 详细出处参考：焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)Prologue(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemywifeisWuSong.(指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou!(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom?MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetenderthanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)Act1(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum?JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law”.L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,solazy……L:But……JM:Neverinterruptme!L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardalldaylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchickenand……JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandaskyourson.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)Act2(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)L:Mum,I’mback!LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!WhenyouinsistedonmarryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlistentome.Lookatyourself……L:But,mum……LM:Neverinterruptme!L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?AndI’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:“IfyoudaughterHaven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgoandtellhim.(下)L(惊愕):What?Themayor’sson?Themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)Act3(J睡眼惺忪上)J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks?(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself.(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围 裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Nowshehasgone.Ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.JM(上):Where’smybreakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’tshegotupyet?J:Mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhasgone!JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanicegirl,goandtakeherback!J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam!Act4(J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚)AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is1maoenough?(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!C:Iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangoandrobthewedding!A&B:Goodidea!J(惊讶):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It’simpossible!AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!(突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?I’llgo withyou.YoutakethemoneyandItakethebride.B:Haveyougotanyexperience?J:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)Act5(转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)(J和三强盗跃至台中)ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!B:AndIplantedonetree.C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---J:Giveusallyourmoney!(L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头)L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)(MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒)J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向MS冲去）(J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS)(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,howareyou?L(哭状):Ihurtalot!J:Don’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthemedicine. (下)L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下)(音乐起 CanYouCelebrate)《叶花K西》 人物介绍：西门吹雪（X），叶孤城（Y），King(K).花满楼（H） 道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。 第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠 旁白：A quiet villageiscoveredwithwhitesnow . Birdsaredancinginthecold . Amaniswalkingalongthestreet ,stepbystep . Windiscominginsilence. Another mysteriousmanapproaches . Y与X相遇． X：oH ,Iamsorrytoknockyou ! Y:Haha, Nevermindbaybay. X:Excuseme， whoareyouonearth? couldyoutellmeyourname? Y:ha ha ,Iwon’tchangemyname! nomatterwhathappens. I’mthemostfamous-------YeGucheng. Whoareyou? X:Iamximenchuixue. Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue? X:Yes,whatiswrong? Y:IheardthatyouarethebestingMartialArts? X:Great, youknowme ! Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’tkillme! letmeyougo! X:No, Imustkillyou ! Y:Idon''''''''''''''''twanttobekilled.Thereare aeighty-year-oldmotheandathree-yearold sontobelookedafterbyme! X:Noway! Becausewearefightingnow!youknow? Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don''''''''''''''''t forceme! X:Pardon! (Y拿出一袋牛奶) X抢过牛奶:milk, verygood! Ilikedrinkingit. howdoyouknowthat? Y:pleasedrinkit! X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha,ha Y:Doyoustillwanttokillme? X:Sure, must! milkismilk. Y(恼怒+冷酷):Verygood! verygood! Ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!? X:I’msureIwon’t! Y:Imustgiveyoualesson!IfIdon''''''''''''''''tbeatyourthistime, you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0! X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach,Oach ! Y大笑：HaHa…… X可怜状: help! help! Whereisthewashroom? Y:What ? X:Toliet? Y:What ? X:The “WC”? Y:Oh,I see ,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacorssingroad! X:Thanks,byebye. Y掏出纸屑吹:Thisisgenuirnesnow! H:Stop!Protectingtheenvironmentisabasicobligation! Y:Whoareyou? H:Hua---man----lou! Haveyouseenximenchuixue? Y:Yes, hewasbeatenbymeandisin“WC” now,ha…… H惊讶:Nowyouarethebestintheworld! Y:Youareright! H:Teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor! doyouwantjoininus? Y:Yes,It’sverygood. H:Ok, followme, Let’sgotoseemyking! Y:Ok,Let’s go! 第二幕：无间道 H:Mydearest ! letmeintroduce yeguchengtoyou! （指Y） thisisyegucheng. K:sitdownplese, yegucheng. H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Doyouwanttofollowmykingnomatterwhathappenssuchascold headache,sair and aids? Y: Yes,Ido. K: Huamanlou, come . puttheringonhisfinger!（音乐停） X唱着上:Onlyyou……(看到戒子) thisringshouldbemine! K:Butwhoareyou? whyshoulditbelongyou? Y急切: king! dearking!Imustgonow,mybrotherislookingforme!huoxi(维语再见) K:huoxi? Whatdoesthatmean? ItisnotEnglish, isn’t it ? Y:How clever…… X冷酷:yegucheng! comehere!Iwanttotellyousomething! Y抱X的腿:oldbrother ! Forgiveme! X:Forgiveme? Why? Y: Oncetherewasachangebeforeme,Ilostit. Ifthegodgivemeantherchance, I’lltellyou“I love you”,Iftheremustbea limited period,Ihopeitisthousandyear! X:Youshall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can youtell thelady’s“WC”! Y:Ilikegoinglady’s WC .I……I……IthinkthatyoulikewhatIlike.(Y又拿出一袋牛奶) X: m-i-l-k?haha, ayixidailu!(我爱你的意思) K: ayixidailu?What’sthemeaning? whyIalsocan’tunderstandyou? X:Youarestupid! Itmeans“I love you”. K:Don’t saythat“you love me”. I’llkillyouforyousayingdirtywordtome! X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You---kill----me?come, come…(X上去抓住K) K:Fuckyou. Imustkillyou! X:Howcanyoukillme? haha…… Y:Letmehaveatry! 3-2-1-0(X捂着肚子，蹲下) K: thankyouverymuch, yousaveme. Now, I’llgiveyoutheticketforAmericantoletyou haveavacation. Y:That’s good. butthereisonemorething. canyougivemea MM ?IwanttogoAmericanwithher. K:ofcouse.Youaretheonewhohasthesimilartastewithme! Hahaha…… Y:Hahaha----- H:Where’ssomewhere? K:What? Y:Doyouwanttogolady’s“WC”? X:Yes,I……I…… do. H顶着摇头：X,no, no， youcan’tgotoLady’s “WC”. Thatisnottheplacewhereyoucangointo ! becauseyouareX ! youarethe bestmanofChinesekongfu! X: whatifI’mthebestintheword? !whyItrymybesttolivebutI’mstillsomiserable ? whencanIgetmyfreedom? mustbethedeadday ? ! K: youareright. onewillnotbecleveruntilthedayhedie. Inthatcase ,whywill you die in such a bad sorrow way !gointo theLady’s WC , thendie , comfortablly ! goahead ! H: you , stupid , bad behavior ! goaway ! K; why ? whydoyouhelphim ! whoacturallyareyou ? H: myreal name isLuXiaofeng------the wifeofX .I’maspy. K惊讶: !you---you---YouareLuXiaofeng ? X’wife ? Y: Ihavealreadyrecognizedyou . atricker ! doyouknow, youarethefirst person who cheated me ! because of you ,Ideeide never believe anyone else ,including myself .you have destroyed my looking for you for many years ,just for today ! (轻声说)Xwilldie ,goandseehim ,please . H扑倒在X的身边：X,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope inthe fature and tomorrow is a goodbeginning ! K:what amoving story !I was impressed ! Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume ! H: life isa progress ,and it is delight that itneedn’t resume ! (H忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，K吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起) Y痛苦状:don’tleave me here , you know I love you and I have nothing except you now ,please notabandon me !realizethat I’m wrong .help me,I intend to be back ,helpme ,I keyyou ,beg you------help me . I’ll never dothat again !(Y死，音乐停) （X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起） H: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together . X:gohome ! ? H:Tomorrow is another day !evenyou have thelast secondto live,youshould be alive ,not only for me , but for ourlove ! X:doyouwant melivealifeinsuchasorrow way ? ok , ok , Ipromise I willbealive for you .but !youknow, Ihavenot timeleft ,but you have ,promisethatyou will be happy everyday !Youmustdome this honor... promise meyou will survive... that youwillnevergiveup... nomatter what happens... no matter howhopeless... promise me now ,andnever let go of that promise. H: I promise . X:Never let go . H:Ipromise . Iwill never let go , X.I''''''''ll never letgo.(X死) H:be alive !yeah , bealive ! bealivewithout ahendance !lifecanbechanceliketimecangotoback . thereisbeatifulsnowbutinsping , solifecancomefromthebeginning ! （H自刎，艰难的爬到X身边死.音乐停。）
花花洒洒洒
搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》搞笑5人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》演员表：西门吹雪叶孤城花满楼king旁白道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .Bird sare dancing in the cold .Aman is walking along the street ,step by step .Wind is coming in silence.Another mysterious man approaches .Y与X相遇．X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !Y:Haha, Never mind bay bay.X:Excuseme， who are you on earth? could you tell me your name?Y:ha ha ,I won’t change my name no matter what happens. I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you?X:I am xi men chui xue.Y惊讶:Ar, xi men chui xue?X:Yes,what is wrong?Y:I heard that you are the besting Martial Arts?X:Great, you know me !Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! let me go!X:No, I must kill you !Y:I don't want to be killed.There are eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to belooked after by me!X:No way! Because we are fighting now!you know?Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don't force me!X:Pardon!(Y拿出一袋牛奶)X抢过牛奶:milk, very good! I like drinking it. how do you know that?Y:please drink it!X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha,haY:Do you still want to kill me?X:Sure, must! milk is milk.Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good! very good! I hope you will not forget what you said!?X:I’m sure I won’t!Y:I must give you a lesson! If I don't beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly! 3-2-1-0!X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach,Oach !Y大笑：HaHa……X可怜状: help! help! Where is the washroom?Y:What ?X:Toliet?Y:What ?X:The “WC”?Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street andturn right when you see acorssing road!X:Thanks,byebye.Y掏出纸屑吹:This is genuirne snow!H:Stop!Protecting the environment is abasicobligation!Y:Who are you?H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen xi men chui xue?Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in“WC” now,ha……H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world!Y:You are right!H:Teriffic! yo uare the one my king looking for! do you want join in us?Y:Yes,It’s very good.H:Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king!Y:Ok,Let’s go!第二幕：无间道H:My honest ! let me introduce yegucheng to you! （指Y） this is yegucheng.K:sit down plese, yegucheng.H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold,headache,sair and aids?Y: Yes,I do.K: Hua man lou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音乐停）X唱着上:Only you……(看到戒子) this ring should be mine!K:But who are you? why should it belong to you?Y急切: king! dear king!I must go now,my brother is looking for me!huoxi(维语再见) K:huoxi? What does that mean? It is not English, isn’t it ?Y:How clever……X冷酷:yegucheng! come here!I want to tell you some thing!Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!X:Forgive me? Why?Y: Once there was a change before me,I lost it. Ifthe god give me a chance, I’ll tell you“I love you”,If there must be a limited period,I hope it is thousand year!X:You shall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can youtell thelady’s“WC”!Y:Ilikegoinglady’s WC .I……I……IthinkthatyoulikewhatIlike.(Y又拿出一袋牛奶)X: m-i-l-k?haha, ayixidailu!(我爱你的意思)K: ayixidailu?What’sthemeaning? whyIalsocan’tunderstandyou?X:Youarestupid! Itmeans“I love you”.K:Don’t saythat“you love me”. I’llkillyouforyousayingdirtywordtome!X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(X上去抓住K)K:Fuckyou. Imustkillyou!X:Howcanyoukillme? haha……Y:Letmehaveatry! 3-2-1-0(X捂着肚子，蹲下)K: thankyouverymuch, yousaveme. Now, I’llgiveyoutheticketforAmericantoletyouhaveavacation.Y:That’s good. butthereisonemorething. canyougivemea MM ?IwanttogoAmericanwithher.K:ofcouse.Youaretheonewhohasthesimilartastewithme! Hahaha……Y:Hahaha—–H:Where’ssomewhere?K:What?Y:Doyouwanttogolady’s“WC”?X:Yes,I……I…… do.H顶着摇头：X,no, no， youcan’tgotoLady’s “WC”. Thatisnottheplacewhereyoucangointo ! becauseyouareX ! youarethe bestmanofChinesekongfu!X: whatifI’mthebestintheword? !whyItrymybesttolivebutI’mstillsomiserable ? whencanIgetmyfreedom? mustbethedeadday ? !K: youareright. onewillnotbecleveruntilthedayhedie. Inthatcase ,whywill you die in such a bad sorrow way !gointo theLady’s WC , thendie , comfortablly ! goahead !H: you , stupid , bad behavior ! goaway !K; why ? whydoyouhelphim ! whoacturallyareyou ?H: myreal name isLuXiaofeng——the wifeofX .I’maspy.K惊讶: !you—you—YouareLuXiaofeng ? X’wife ?Y: Ihavealreadyrecognizedyou . atricker ! doyouknow, youarethefirst person who cheated me ! because of you ,Ideeide never believe anyone else ,including myself .you have destroyed my looking for you for many years ,just for today ! (轻声说)Xwilldie ,goandseehim ,please .H扑倒在X的身边：X,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope inthe fature and tomorrow is a goodbeginning !K:what amoving story !I was impressed !Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !H: life isa progress ,and it is delight that itneedn’t resume !(H忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，K吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)Y痛苦状:don’tleave me here , you know I love you and I have nothing except you now ,please notabandon me !realizethat I’m wrong .help me,I intend to be back ,helpme ,I keyyou ,beg you——help me . I’ll never dothat again !(Y死，音乐停)（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）H: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .X:gohome ! ?H:Tomorrow is another day !evenyou have thelast secondto live,youshould be alive ,not only for me , but for ourlove !X:doyouwant melivealifeinsuchasorrow way ? ok , ok , Ipromise I willbealive for you .but !youknow, Ihavenot timeleft ,but you have ,promisethatyou will be happy everyday !Youmustdome this honor… promise meyou will survive… that youwillnevergiveup… nomatter what happens… no matter howhopeless… promise me now ,andnever let go of that promise.H: I promise .X:Never let go .H:Ipromise . Iwill never let go ,X.I””””ll never letgo.(X死)H:be alive !yeah , bealive ! bealivewithout ahendance !lifecanbechanceliketimecangotoback . thereisbeatifulsnowbutinsping , solifecancomefromthebeginning ! （H自刎，艰难的爬到X身边死.音乐停。）
优质英语培训问答知识库
