不懂爱为何物
谐音英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子
同学们都闹出过怎样的笑话?不妨道来大家听听我为您整理的英语笑话。
You don’t have to pay for lightning
Teacher：Who can tell me the difference between lightning and electricity?
Student：You don’ t have to pay for lightning.
闪电不用付钱
老师：谁能告诉我闪电与电的区别?
学生：闪电不用付钱。
H o n e s t y
A man who is driving a car stopped by a police officer.The following exchange takes place...
Man：What's the problem，officer?
Officer：You were going at least 75in a 55zone.
Man：No，sir，I was going 65.
Wife：Oh，Harry.You were going 80.(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Officer：I' m also going to give you a ticket for your broken taillight.
Man：Broken taillight?I didn't know about a broken taillight。
Wife：Oh Harry，you've known about that tail for weeks.(Man gives his wife another dirty look.)
Officer：I' m also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man：Oh，I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife：Oh，Harry，you never wear your seat belt.
Man：Shut your dang mouth。
Officer：(Turns to the woman)：Ma ' am，does your husband talk to you this way all the time?
Wife：No，only when he's drunk.
诚 实
警官让一位驾车的男士停下车。随后出现如下的对话：
男士：警官，有什么问题?
警官：你在限速55英里的地段开到至少75英里。
男士：不，长官，是65英里。
妻子：啊，哈里，你刚才开到80英里。(男士瞪了妻子一眼。)
警官：我还要给你张罚单，你的.尾灯碎了。
男士：尾灯碎了?你不说，我还真不知道尾灯碎了。
妻子：哦，哈里，几个星期以前你就知道了。(男士又恶狠狠地瞪了她一眼。)
警官：我还要给你张传票，你没系安全带。
男士：噢，你朝我车走过来的时候我才解开的。
妻子：啊，哈里，你从来都不系安全带。
男士：闭上你的臭嘴。
警官：(转向女士)夫人，你丈夫总是这样跟你说话吗?
妻子：不，只有当他醉了的时候。
He must have a computer
A mother was teaching her 5-year-old son about God. “Do you know, ”she said to him one day, “that God knows where everybody is all the time, and exactly what they are doing. ”The little boy looked at his mother wide-eyed and said, “Wow. He must have a computer.”
他一定有台电脑
一位母亲给她5岁的儿子讲上帝。“你知道吗, ”有一天她对他说, “无论一个人在哪里, 在干什么事情, 上帝都知道。”小男孩睁大了眼睛看着他妈妈说, “哇。那他一定有一台电脑。”
Nice Try
My wife and I were stopped by a state policeman. He started to write up a speeding ticket. My wife, who’s a hair stylist, said, “If you let us off with a warning, I’ll give you a free haircut for a year. ”
The policeman removed his hat--and he was completely bald.
by Peter Orphanos
尝 试
我和妻子被警察拦住了，他给我们开一个超速的罚款单。我的妻子是一个发型设计师，于是她就对警察说，“如果你让我们免于警告，我就为你免费理发一年。”
警察脱下他的帽子——他是一个光头。
Who is Disgusting
First：“My neighbor is very disgusting，who moved here recently，he rang the bell of my house with a rush late at night.”
Second：“It is disgusting in faith，do you call the police?”
First：“No.I just take him as a madman，and continue to play my piano.”
谁可恶
甲：“我家新搬来的邻居好可恶，竟然深更半夜跑来猛按我家的门铃。”
乙：“的确可恶。你有没有报警?”
甲：“没有。我当他是疯子，继续弹我的琴。”
linlin0530
谐音梗冷笑话有
1、“我有一份让人惊讶的工作。”“什么?”“挖藕。”
2、半夜胃疼，我说:“胃，你可不可以消停点。”胃说:“我不叫胃，我叫楚雨荨。”
3、刚出门不小心碰到膝盖了，好磕膝啊，好磕膝，你听到了吗好可惜。
4、十七岁那年，我揪住了一只蝉，我以为我抓住了整个夏天，蝉：说不上爱别揪蝉，就一点喜欢！
5、你这么差劲是不是有个英文名字，叫保尔，因为保尔可差劲（柯察金）。
6、有的蛙会摸你肚子，因为柯南说过，心机之蛙一直摸你肚子。
7、你好，要一杯南瓜杏仁露，不要瓜，不要杏，不要露，要南仁。
8、从前有一只小鸭，它特别矮叫泥鸭，班上一只鸭走过来说：好矮泥鸭。
9、薏仁做事薏仁当，小叮做事小叮当。
10、旺旺雪饼觉得热会变成什么，旺旺仙贝。
燕园小西
How are you ? How old are you? 怎么是你，怎么老是你？ You have seed. I will give you some color to see see. Brothers！Together up! 你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！ Dragon born dragon, chicken born chicken, mouse"s son can make hole! 龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞！ Chickens That Did Not Have Sexual Experience 童子鸡 Four Glad Meatballs 直译：四个开心的肉球 被用为：四喜丸子 Wash after relief 用过请冲水 解释：中国的厕所光冲（flush）不行，居然还要“洗”（wash）！ You ask me，me ask who？ 你问我，我问谁 Heart flower angry open. 心花怒放 One car come,one car go,two car pengpeng,one car died! 关于一场车祸的描述 Horse horse tiger tiger. 马马虎虎 Good good study, day day up. 好好学习，天天向上 No three no four. 不三不四 Know is know, noknow is noknow. 知之为知之，不知为不知 If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one! 要钱没有，要命一条 watch sister 表妹 fire big 火大 Go past, no mistake past. 走过路过，不要错过 As far as you go to die. 有多远，死多远 We two who and who? 咱俩谁跟谁？ people moumtain people sea 人山 so many people die never see you die 感多人死5见你死
中国神运
国外有个节目采访lord of ring（指环王）里面那个小哈比人时，他讲了个冷笑话： Q: a deer, has no eyes, what's its name？（一只鹿，没有眼睛，应该叫什么？） A: I don’t know ,what is it？（我不知道，该叫什么？） Q: no eye deer……(no idea)（没眼睛鹿……没主意（英语口语的谐音）） agian, a deer has no eyes, no legs, what's its name？（那么，一只鹿，没眼睛，也没有腿，该叫什么？） A: I don’t know, what's it then？（我还是不知道，应该叫什么？） Q: still no idea……”（还是没眼睛鹿（用了谐音））
