心晴joanny
小禾小影
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”Cat and MiceMrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top." What's in your box?" asked the friend."A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them.""But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend."So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。I think that I'm a chickenPsychiatrist: What's your problem?Patient: I think I'm a chicken.Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?Patient: Ever since I was an egg!精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？病人：我认为我是一只鸡。精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。我要表现得象位女士I Am Acting Like a LadyOne day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed."You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?""Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."我要表现得象位女士一天，远东百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件。可是，没过多久，他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。他竭力忍耐着。后来，他低下头，挥动双臂，挤过人群。“你干嘛？”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗？”“听着，”他说，“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起，我要表现得象个女士。”The Broom Seller and the BarberA man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it."Two pence," said the man."No, no, " said the barber, "I will give you a penny, and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again."The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave."A penny." said the barber."I will give you a half-penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again."卖扫帚的人和理发师一个卖扫帚的人去一家理发店修面.理发师向他买了一把扫帚.当理发师给他修完面后,问了一下扫帚的价钱.卖扫帚的人说:"两便士""不,不"理发师说,"我只出一便士.如果你认为不够的话,可以把扫帚拿回去."卖扫帚的人取回了扫帚,随后问修面要付多少钱.卖扫帚的人说:"我只能给你半个便士,如果你认为不够的话,你可以把胡子再替我装上."Want a Day Off 想请一天假Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, " We're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. " I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"一天，史密斯去见他的客户部领导，“老板”，斯密斯说，“我们家明天要大搞清洁，我老婆需要我回去帮忙清洁阁楼和车库，搬搬挪挪什么的。”“斯密斯啊，你也知道，我们现在人手已经不够了”老板说，“明天的假我是没法给你批了”。“多谢老板，” Smith说，“我就知道跟着您干准没错”。I Lost 我输了It was at a five o’clock tea． A young man came to the hostess to apologize for his lateness．“So good of you to come， Mr．Jones，and where is your brother？”“You see we're very busy in the office and only one of us could come，so we tossed up for it．”“How nice！And so original， too！ And you won？”“No，” said the young man absently，“I lost．”五点钟，下午茶的时间，一个年轻人因为迟到向女主人致歉。“您能来可真好，琼斯先生，您的兄弟在哪儿呢？”“您知道我们在办公室里有非常忙，我们俩只能来一个，所以就掷币来决定由谁来。”“太有意思了！还那么有独创性！那您赢了？”“不，”年轻人心不在焉地说，“我输了。”
伯妮新娘
1 A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."2 Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”3 I think that I'm a chickenPsychiatrist: What's your problem?Patient: I think I'm a chicken.Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?Patient: Ever since I was an egg!精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？病人：我认为我是一只鸡。精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。我要表现得象位女士4 I Am Acting Like a LadyOne day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed."You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?""Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."我要表现得象位女士一天，远东百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件。可是，没过多久，他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。他竭力忍耐着。后来，他低下头，挥动双臂，挤过人群。“你干嘛？”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗？”“听着，”他说，“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起，我要表现得象个女士。”5 Want a Day Off 想请一天假Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, " We're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. " I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"一天，史密斯去见他的客户部领导，“老板”，斯密斯说，“我们家明天要大搞清洁，我老婆需要我回去帮忙清洁阁楼和车库，搬搬挪挪什么的。”“斯密斯啊，你也知道，我们现在人手已经不够了”老板说，“明天的假我是没法给你批了”。“多谢老板，” Smith说，“我就知道跟着您干准没错”。6 I Lost 我输了It was at a five o’clock tea． A young man came to the hostess to apologize for his lateness．“So good of you to come， Mr．Jones，and where is your brother？”“You see we're very busy in the office and only one of us could come，so we tossed up for it．”“How nice！And so original， too！ And you won？”“No，” said the young man absently，“I lost．”五点钟，下午茶的时间，一个年轻人因为迟到向女主人致歉。“您能来可真好，琼斯先生，您的兄弟在哪儿呢？”“您知道我们在办公室里有非常忙，我们俩只能来一个，所以就掷币来决定由谁来。”“太有意思了！还那么有独创性！那您赢了？”“不，”年轻人心不在焉地说，“我输了。”7 Imitate BirdsA man tried to get a job in a stage show. "What can you do?" asked the producer."Imitate birds," the man said."Are you kidding?" answered the producer, "People like that are a dime a dozen.""Well, I guess that's that." said the actor, as he spread his arms and flew out the window.模仿鸟儿一个人想在一个舞台剧中找份工作。“你能干什么呢？”负责人问。“模仿鸟儿，”那人说。“你在开玩笑吧？”负责人答道，“那样的人一毛钱可以找一打。”“噢，那就算了。”那名演员说着，展开翅膀，飞出了窗口。8 How Did You Ever Get HereOne winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?""I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."你是怎样来的？一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。“外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。”老板狐疑地看着他。“噢，是吗？那你是怎样到这里来的？”“后来我决定放弃，”他说，“然后我就往家里走。”拓展材料英语（English）是印欧语系-日耳曼语族下的语言，由26个字母组合而成，英文字母渊源于拉丁字母，拉丁字母渊源于希腊字母，而希腊字母则是由腓尼基字母演变而来的。英语是国际指定的官方语言（作为母语），也是世界上最广泛的第一语言，英语包含约49万词，外加技术名词约30万个，是词汇最多的语言，也是欧盟以及许多国际组织以及英联邦国家的官方语言，拥有世界第三位的母语使用者人数，仅次于汉语和西班牙语母语使用者人数。英语由古代从丹麦等斯堪的纳维亚半岛以及德国、荷兰及周边移民至不列颠群岛的盎格鲁、撒克逊以及朱特部落的白人所说的语言演变而来，并通过英国的殖民活动传播到了世界各地。由于在历史上曾和多种民族语言接触，它的词汇从一元变为多元，语法从“多屈折”变为“少屈折”，语音也发生了规律性的变化。在19至20世纪，英国以及美国在文化、经济、军事、政治和科学在世界上的领先地位使得英语成为一种国际语言。如今，许多国际场合都使用英语做为沟通媒介。英语也是与电脑联系最密切的语言，大多数编程语言都与英语有联系，而且随着网络的使用，英文的使用更普及。英语是联合国的工作语言之一。 苏格兰语、低地撒克逊语、丹麦语、德语、荷兰语、南非荷兰语和英语也很接近。拥有法国血统的诺曼人于11世纪征服英格兰王国，带来数万法语词汇和拉丁语词汇，很大程度地丰富了英语词汇外，相对也驱使不少原生的语汇作废。
优质英语培训问答知识库
