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Shocking Bill

触目惊心的账单

A young man had a new girlfriend,whom he wanted to impress

一年轻人新交了一位女朋友，为了给她留下好的印象

so he invited her to go to a world-famous restaurant with him one evening.

一天晚上他邀请女朋友去世界闻名的饭店吃饭。

They dined wonderfully and had numerous drinks;

他们吃了顿丰盛的饭菜并且还喝了各种各样的饮料。

they danced until midnight,and there was fine musical entertainment.

伴随着一场优雅的音乐会，他们跳舞一直到深夜。

The girl enjoyed the entire evening,

女孩整个晚上玩的很尽兴。

and was suitably impressed by everything she saw,

她所看到的一切，给她留下了深刻的印象，

including several film stars.

包括看到的几个影星。

Then the waiter brought the bill at the end of the evening,

这时，服务员拿来了这天晚上的消费的账单。

and when the young man saw how much he had to pay,

但年轻人看到账单时，

he was so shocked by the total that he went as white as a sheet.

他被账单上的数目惊呆了，脸色苍白。

The helpful waiter, who was watching his face,

服务员注视着他的脸，

thought he might be going to faint,

他认为这个年轻人要晕倒了。

so he quickly poured out a glass of ice cold water

于是，他拿来一杯冰水

and emptied it over the young man's head

泼在年轻人的头上，

Then he took the bill back and added to it:Iced water-- 50 cents.

然后他又拿来账单，并在上面加上:"冰水，50便士。"

Love and Time

爱和时间

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived:

从前，有一个岛屿上住着所有的感情：

Happiness,Sadness, Knowledge,and all of the others, including Love.

快乐，悲伤，知识，还有包括爱在内的所有其他所有情感。

One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink,

一天他们得到消息说这个岛屿将要沉没，

so all constructed boats and left. Except for love.

除了爱以外，他们都修建了船只，打算离开。

Love was the only one who stayed.

只有爱无动于衷，

Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

她想在最后一刻才离开

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

当岛屿几乎沉没的时候爱决定寻求帮助。

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat.

富裕乘着一艘巨轮从爱身旁经过，

Love said,"Richness, can you take me with you?"

爱问:"富裕，你能带上我吗?"

Richness answered,"No,I can't.There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat.

富裕回答说:"不行，我的船上有很多金银珠宝

There is no place here for you."

没地方留给你了。"

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel.

爱决定求助于空虚，他正坐在一艘漂亮的船上。

"Vanity,please help me!"

"空虚，请帮帮我。"

"I can't help you, Love.You are all wet and might damage my boat,Vanity answered

"我帮不了你，爱，你全身湿淋淋的会毁了我的船的。"空虚回答说。

Sadness was close by so Love asked,"Sadness,let me go with you."

悲伤走了过来，于是爱问:"悲伤，让我和你一块走吧?"

"Oh...Love,I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

"噢......爱，我很难过想一个人呆着!"

Happiness passed by Love,too,

快乐也从爱身边经过，

but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

她太高兴了竟然没有听到爱叫她。

Suddenly,there was a voice,"Come,Love, I will take you." It was an elder.

忽然，传来一个声音:来吧，爱，我载你。"是位老人。

So blessed and overjoyed,

爱是那么欣喜若狂，

Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going.

竟忘记了问老人他们要去哪儿。

When they arrived at dry land,the elder went her own way.

到了一块干地后，老人放下爱独自走了。

Realizing how much was owed the elder,

意识到自己亏欠老人很多时，

Love asked Knowledge another elder,"Who helped me?

爱问另一位叫知识的老人:"帮我的是谁?"

"It was Time." Knowledge answered.

"是时间。"知识回答。

"Time?"asked Love."But why did Time help me?"

"时间?"爱问，"为什么时间要帮我?"

Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered,

知识意味深长地笑笑说:

"Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."

"因为只有时间才懂得爱有多么珍贵。"

At the Post Office

在邮局

This was what happened to a Frenchman who lived in England

这是一个发生在居住英国的

and didn't know English very well.

而英语不太好的法国人身上的故事。

One day,he went into a post office with his letter.

一天他去邮局寄信

He bought a stamp and gave it together with his letter,

他买了一张邮票，将邮票和信一起

to the girl at the counter.

交给了柜台前的小姐。

"Oh,no."the girl said,"You must stick the stamp on yourself."

"哦，不，"小姐说，"你必须自己贴上邮票。"

The Frenchman was very surprised.He could not believe his ears.

这个法国人非常惊讶，他不相信自己的耳朵。

He said,"I want to post my letter,not myself.

他说:"我要寄的是信，而不是我自己。

Why must I stick the stamp on myself?"The girl smiled and answered,

为什么要在我自己身上贴上邮票?"

"I mean that you must stick the stamp on the envelope and must do it yourself

小姐笑着说:"我的意思是你必须自己把邮票贴在信封上。"