Huanglingying
搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》 搞笑5人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》演员表： 西门吹雪 叶孤城 花满楼 打更的太监 旁白 道具：牛奶两袋，纸屑若干。 第一幕：决战乡村陌路 旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow. Birds are dancing in the cold. A man is walking along the street, step by step. Wind is coming in silence. Another mysterious man approaches. 打更的太监：The weather is dry and things are flammable, take care not catch the fire! I’m 打酱油的！Y与X相遇． X：Ohm, I’m sorry to knock you! Y: Ha-ha, Never mind baby. X: Excuse me, Could you tell me your name? Y: ha ha, I won’t change my name! No matter what happens. I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng（登登登登！！！）. Who are you? X: I’m ximenchuixue. Y(惊讶): Ar, ximenchuixue? X: Yes, what is wrong? Y: I heard that you are the best Martial Arts? X: Great, you know me! Y(抱腿)：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go! X: No, I must kill you! Y: I don’t want to be killed. Let me go! X: No way! You know? Y(突然站起冷冷的说)：Don’t force me! X: Pardon! (Y拿出一袋牛奶) X(抢过牛奶):Milk, very good! I like drinking it. Y: Please drink it! X(喝完牛奶):Thanks, ha-ha Y: Do you still want to kill me? X: Sure, must! Milk is milk. Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good! Very good! I hope you will not forget what you said!? X: I’m sure I won’t! Y: I must give you a lesson! If I don’t beat you this time, I’ll never be having properly! 3-2-1-0 X(捂着肚子，蹲下)：Ouch, Ouch! Y(大笑)：Ha Ha…… X(可怜状): Help! Help! Where is the washroom? Y: What? X: Toliet? Y: What? X: The “WC”? Y: Oh, I see, go along this street and turn right when you see a crossing road! X: Thanks, bye-bye. Y(掏出纸屑吹):This is genuine snow! H: Stop! Protecting the environment is a basic obligation! Y: Who are you? H: Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue? Y: Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” now, ha…… H(惊讶):Now you are the best in the world! Y: You are right! H: Teriffic! You are the one I’m looking for! Do you want to join in me? Y: Yes, It’s very good. H: Ok, follow me; let’s go! Y: Ok, Let’s go! (To be continued…)
君绮罗222
英语短剧剧本1Three Times’ Beating Monster人物：T唐僧 S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧 B：白骨精 B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆 B3：B变化成的老头 N：哪吒T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?S: Bajie,map!E: (摸出，递给S)S: Look,master (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the westE: But……T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.S: Fat Pig!E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….S: You will what(凶相)?E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).S: Hm!T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?E: You see ,master is hungry,too!T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away…..T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）E: This is…..?S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bye!(走)T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?T: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!T: Bomb?(打出)B1: Double King!T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1: （倒)Ah……T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh,please don’t……T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)E&J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T)J: Look,(伸食指)how many?T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》E: Master, brother Monkey is.......T: Scratch! Don't mention that guy any more!B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)T: （惊）You are......B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.T: Wukong?E: Oh,Brother Monkey!J: Our hero is back!T: I,I can't understand......What happened?S: Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How,how did you find out?S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal?S; Ah......you are too late ,Nezha!(对T)I've called the police.N: (摇醒B)You are under arrest .(出示证件)You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law!(带走B)T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)S: What?T: I'm sorry.S: Em? Louder,please?T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）T: Let's go guys!( 歌)S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse.E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.T.S.E.J: Ah......Ah...... Sleeping on the ground again we set out.T: One after the other the seasons go by,and ohe after the other, the year go on. You wonder where the road is. The road is under your feet.T.S.E.J: You uonder where the road is, the road is under your feet......(谢幕)
