麦生啤酒
He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。 my little dog can't readMrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.我的狗不识字布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” Advice for "Kid"A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."忠告“年轻者”这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟." He WonTommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.他赢了汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
小怪兽的小胖兽
初一英语笑话带翻译
初一英语笑话带翻译一：
Boy: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Girl: "It's in the phone book."
Boy: "But I don't know your name."
Girl: "That's in the phone book too."
男：我想给你打电话。你的电话号码是多少?
女：在电话本上呢。
男：可是我不知道你的名字呀。
女：也在电话本上呢。
初一英语笑话带翻译二：
Stopping in an unfamiliar barber shop for a shave, a young playboy took a fancy to the manicure(修指甲) gril and suggested dinner and a show that evening.
The girl demurred(反对，抗辩)," I don't think I ought to, I'm married."
"Why don't you ask your husband," the playboy suggested." I'm sure he wouldn't object."
"You can ask him yourself ," the girl srugged, "He's shaving you."
一位年轻的花花公子在一家不熟悉的理发店里刮胡须，他很喜欢修指甲的女郎，于是提议哪天晚上去吃晚餐和看表演。
女郎犹豫着说：“我觉得我不应该去，我结过婚了。”
“你何不问问你先生，”花花公子建议说：“我确定他不会反对的.。”
“你可以自己问他，”女郎耸耸肩道，“他正在替你刮胡须。”
初一英语笑话带翻译三：
The great novelist had gone mad, but now there seemed to be some hope for his recovery. For six months, he had been sitting at his typewriter pounding out a novel. Finally, he pronounced it completed and brought the book to his psychiatrist, who eagerly began reading it aloud:
大作家疯了，但现在似乎还有恢复的希望。六个月以来，他都坐在打字机旁用力地敲一部小说。终于，他宣称书已写好并把它拿到精神病医生那里。医生急切地大声朗读起来：
"General Jackson leaped upon his faithful horse and yelled, 'Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap, giddyap"' The doctor thumbed through the rest of the manuscript." There's nothing here but 500 pages of giddyaps! " he exclaimed."
“杰克逊将军跨上他的忠实的马，喊道：‘驾，驾，驾，驾……’”医生翻了翻剩下的手稿。“五百页纸竟全是‘驾，驾’!”他惊奇地说。
"Stubborn horse," explained the writer.
“是匹倔强的马，”作家解释道。
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