咀嚼笑话英语

joke

读音：英 [dʒəʊk]、美 [dʒoʊk]

释义：

n. 笑话；玩笑。

v. 说笑话；开玩笑。

语法：

joke的基本意思是“笑话，玩笑”，指引人发笑的谈话或故事，也指供人当作笑料的事情。可用作可数名词，也可用作不可数名词。

joke作“可笑的人、事物、情形”解时，多用于单数形式，可与不定冠词连用。

joke作动词时意思是“开玩笑”“取笑”，不仅指“言”，而且还指“行”，是不及物动词，常用于进行体。

我刚咬破自己的舌头 “我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。 “是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？” “因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。” I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

1、Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。

2、Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？ 女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。

3、My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!  Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

我的狗不识字。布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

4、My Wife Will Exchange Them。A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.   ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.  ″Makes no difference ″replied customer.   ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.  ″Any″ he responded.

″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″

反正我太太明天会来换的。一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。 “您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。 “没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。 “那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。“什么颜色都成。”他回答。 “号码呢？” “您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”

5、A  physics Examination，Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.  The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunder rolls?

Nick‘s answer: Because  our eyes are before ears.

一次物理考试。在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

6、Jim’s History Examination。Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him  things that happened before the poor boy was born.

吉姆的历史考试。舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。

7、he is really somebody。-- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

他真是一个大人物。-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。

扩展资料：

笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。

人类历史上，人自从有了语言，就已经出现了开玩笑的语言，最早，人们以口相传，后来有了文字，许多笑话便被记载下来，编书成册。但还有很多笑话，是流传于民间的，就当今社会，每天都有很多笑话出现，有心人如果收集，我想将来一定会有价值。

同时丰富了笑话的宝库。随着近十年网络和手机的飞速发展，随之出现了网络笑话，网络流行语，给力大全，手机笑话，雷人语句，笑料联盟等，促使笑话发展到一个新的阶段。

参考资料：百度百科：笑话

1、joke笑话，读音：美/d_o_k/；英/d___k/。2、释义：n.玩笑，笑话；笑柄。vt.开?的玩笑。vi.开玩笑。n.(Joke)人名；(英)乔克；(塞)约凯。3、例句：Myclassmatesalljokedaboutmystuttering.同学们都拿我的口吃开玩笑。

I am the Driver The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn't let him aboard. "It's too crowded," they shouted. "What do you think you are?" "I'm the driver," he said. 我是司机 一辆公共汽车已经相当拥挤，还有一个人想挤进来，乘客不让他上去。 “太挤了，”他们喊道，“你以为你是谁？” “我是司机。”他回答说。I'll See to the RestA guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage."Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!""Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back."You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."其余的事由我负责一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。“快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。”“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。“请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”Sleeping PillsBob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning.""That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"安眠药鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。”“好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？”

1游泳队教练的回答 一支游泳队参加国际比赛归来，在机场上，教练在接受记者采访时说：“是的，虽然我们队一块奖牌也没得到，但也应该看到，在比赛中，我们队没有一个人被淹死。”Swimming coach of the answer A team to participate in international competitions returned at the airport, the coach in an interview with reporters, said: "Yes, although our team did not get a medal, but it should be noted that in the game, we did not force a person to be Drown. "2别问成绩 小亨利的姑姑来到他家做客，见到亨利，对他说：“亨利，我想送一件礼物给你，让你高兴高兴！”“太谢谢了！姑姑。”亨利回答。“不过，给你礼物之前，我要问问你的成绩如何。”“得了吧！”亨利说，“如果你是真心让我高兴，就别问我的成绩。”Do not ask results Small Henry's aunt came to his house, to see Henry, told him: "Henry, I would like to send a gift to you, glad you happy!" "Thank you, the too! Aunt." Henry answered. "However, a gift to you, I want to ask you how the results." "Won!" Henry said, "If you are really pleased me, Do not ask me the results."谁跳得高 记者问跳高冠军：“你知道谁跳的最高？”“我老婆！”跳高冠军回答。记者又问:“为什么？”跳高冠军回答：“我拿了奖金不给她时，她跳得比我还高！”Who Tiaode Gao High jump champion reporter asked: "Do you know who's the highest jump?" "My wife!" Answered the high jump champion. Reporters asked: "Why?" High jump champion replied: "I do not get the money to her, she jump higher than me!"3如此称谓 有一个小女孩迷了路，就去找警察叔叔。警察叔叔问明情况后，问小女孩：“你爸爸叫什么名字？”小女孩回答说：“叫亲爱的。”警察听后，有很无奈的问：“那你妈妈叫什么名字？”小女孩又回答说：“叫宝贝。”This title A little girl lost on the police to look for his uncle. Police asked uncle out of the situation, the little girl asked: "What's the name of your father?" The little girl replied: "Dear name." Hearing this, the police, there is something we can not help asking: "What's the name of your mother?" The little girl answered himself: "Let the baby."我给你找了三个，上面是英文，下面是英文。祝你成功！