雅思英语作文批改

您好，这一篇作文有一个比较严重的英语写作问题，就是在英语写作中，不重要或是您反对的论点通常置前，而比较重要的或是您支持的观点通常置后；因为在英语作文中，读者更注重于最后还记得的观点，也就是你想要让读者记得什么，这些您想要人读者记得的一定是置后的。所以整篇文章第一段落提出了两种论点；第二段落和第三段落提出了您的支持点；第三段落提出了反对者的观点，和您的观点；第五段落您总结了。通常这类别的雅思写作的第一段落是题目重述；第二段落是反对者（您不支持）的观点；第三段落是支持者（您支持的）观点，第四段落是强化说明您支持的观点（第三段落），然后第五段落是总结。这样读完了作文后，读者印象中还记得的会是第三到第五段落，也就是您支持的那一方的观点，和您支持的缘由，和总结了。

Requiring visitors to other countries to follow local customs and behavior is considered to be reasonable by some people while others believe that the host country should welcome cultural differences.  The essay will explain these two perspectives and give reasons why I agree to the former viewpoint.

Many people feel that people should be tolerant of others, especially to visitors traveling to other countries as these visitors are not used to the culture there.  It is both time-consuming and tedious to have to study about the local culture in advance if the traveling lasts for a short duration.  Afterall, many visit not for the people or culture but for the natural scenery there.  And, what's the purpose of adopting a different culture for the time being if you are going to forget about it later, some argue.

Yet one important thing these people have forgot about is that the traditions and habits of the people are indispensable parts of the culture which is usually regarded as a symbol of the place they are visiting.  Thus, demanding visitors to show acceptance to other countries' cultures by not violating the local customs and behavior is considered the minimal one should do.  If the visitors behave inconsiderably and disrespectful, it will most probably irritate the local people.  For example, it is extremely insensitive to touch one's head in Thailand while permissible to show your friendliness in China.  Different regions in the world have utterly dissimilar understandings of the same gesture.  It will be plausible for visitors to be aware of and follow local traditions when visiting places outside their home countries.

As the saying goes “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.”  It is my belief that sensibly following local culture can help visitors learn more about the visiting country, as the best way to learn about a culture is to experience it.  When visitors act similarly to the local people, they will acquire more cultural knowledge and a better touristic feel.  The trip might be meaningless and time-wasting if one shuts off one's senses to see, hear, touch, smell, taste and feel a different culture.  Furthermore, living like local people is one of the most interesting ways of traveling.

In conclusion, one can choose to stick to one's culture and be insensible to others, or be willing to take on something new and be accepted by the locals.  What goes around comes around!  If you show respect and acceptance to others, others will tolerate and excuse your misbehavior.

更改的文章用了很多的形容词和副词，尤其是并列的表语、定语，和状语的词性使用；供您参考；比如您用了（it is extremely rude to ...... while it is an action to ..... 第一个表语用了形容词，第二个表语用了名词），我改成了（it is insensitive to ..... while it is permissible to .... 两个表语都用了形容词性，保持一致性。