肚皮吃饱了
超好笑的英语笑话有翻译（通用11篇）
笑话是一个汉语词汇，拼音是xiào hua，意思是引人发笑的话或事情。笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。下面是我整理的超好笑的英语笑话有翻译相关内容。
Once upon a time the colors of the world started to quarrel.All claimed that they were the best.
Green said: Clearly I am the most important.I am the sign of life and of hope.I was chosen for grass,trees and leaves.Look over the countryside and you will see that I am in the majority.
Blue interrupted: You only think about the earth,but consider the sky and the sea.It is the water that is the basis of life.The sky gives space and peace and serenity.Without my peace,you would all be nothing.”
Yellow chuckled: The sun is yellow,the moon is yellow,the stars are yellow.Every time you look at a sunflower,the whole world starts to smile.Without me there would be no fun.
Orange started next: I carry the most important vitamins.Think of carrots,oranges and mangoes.When I fill the sky at sunrise or sunset,my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any of you.
Red could stand it no longer so he shouted out: I am the ruler of all of you.I am blood一 life's blood! I bring fire into the blood.I am the color of passion and love.
Purple was very tall and spoke with great pomp: I am the color of royalty and power.Kings,chiefs and bishops have always chosen me for I am the sign of authority and wisdom.People do not question me! They listen and obey.
Finally Indigo spoke,much more quietly than all the others,but with just as much determination: Think of me.I am the color of silence.I represent thought and reflection,twilight and deep water.You need me for balance and contrast,for prayer and inner peace.
And so the colors went on quarreling,each convinced of his or her own superiority.Suddenly there was a startling flash of bright lightening,and thunder rolled.Rain started to pour down.
Rain began to speak: You foolish colors.Don't you know that you were each made for a special purpose? Join hands with one another and come to me.
Doing as they were told,the colors joined hands and united.
Rain continued: From now on,when it rains,each of you will stretch across the sky in a great bow of color as a reminder that you can all live in peace.The rainbow is a sign of hope for tomorrow.
有一天，世界上的五颜六色彼此争吵了起来，每一个颜色都声称自己是最好的。
绿色说：“很明显嘛!我就是最重要的。我是生命和希望的象征。青草、大树和叶子都选择我，只要往乡野望去，我就是主色。”
蓝色打断他的话说：“你只想到地面，想想天空和海洋吧!水是生命之源，而天空包容大地、宁静和祥和。一旦失去我的宁静祥和，你们就什么也不是了。”
黄色暗自好笑：“太阳是黄色的，月亮是黄色的，星星也是黄色的。每当你看着向日葵，整个世界也跟着笑逐言开起来。没有了我，也就没有了乐趣。”
橙色接着说：“我是最重要的维他命，想想胡萝卜、橘子和芒果。每当日出日落时，我就满布在天空，我的美丽如此令人惊艳，根本不会有人想到你们。”
红色再也按捺不住，他大声的说：“我是你们的主宰，我是血!生命之血!我将热情注入血液，我是热情和爱情的颜色。”
紫色自视甚高，而且盛气凌人的说：“我是皇室和权威的颜色，国王、领袖和大主教都选择我，因为我是权威和智慧的象征。人们不敢对我有所存疑，只有乖乖听命的份。”
靛色终于说话了，比起其它颜色，他的声音平和多了，但是，也是同样的斩钉截铁：“我是宁静之声，我代表思想、深思熟虑、曙光以及深水。你们需要我来平衡对比、祈祷并获得内在的平静。”
五言六色就这样一直吵下去，每个颜色都认为自己最优秀。突然间闪电雷鸣大作，大雨倾盆而下。
雨开口说话：“你们这些蠢颜色，你们不晓得自己各有所司吗?大家手牵手一起过来。”
那些颜色都乖乖的手牵手，站在一起。
雨接着说：“从今以后，只要一下雨，你们每个都得伸展成大弓形横跨在天际，藉以提醒大家和平共处。因为彩虹是明日希望的象征。”
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads,see how the farms looked,and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living.The city man saw a farmer in his yard,holding a pig up in his hands,and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree.The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples,but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"
一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地 上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫 回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"
I`ve Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes,dear," she replied."Why do you ask?"
"Because I`ve just bitten my tongue!"
我刚咬了自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一条年幼的蛇问它的妈妈。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬了自己的舌头!”
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.
三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。
Just as they got into the cafe,it started to rain.
它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one," Go home and get the umbrella."
于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“你回家去取伞吧。”
The little turtle replied,"I will,if you don't drink my offee."
最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的'咖啡喝了，我就去。”
"We won't," the other two promised.
“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle,"Well,I guess he isn't coming back,so we might as well drink his coffee."
两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”
Just then a voice called from outside the door,"If you do,I won't go."
正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”
"So you want another day off,”snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time.You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already.”
“这么说，你又要请一天假，”老师怒气冲冲地对他的学生汤姆说，“我倒想知道你这次找什么借口。你已经请了四次假说去参加你爷爷的葬礼。”
Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”
汤姆回答说:“今天是我奶奶再次举行婚礼。”
Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall.Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying,"Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming,"Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated,"ENTRANCE".
中间战术
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
Very Pleased to Meet You
During World War II,a lot of young women in Britain were in the army.Joan Phillips was one of them.She worked in a big camp,and of course met a lot of men,officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance.He said to her,"I‘m going abroad tomorrow,but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed,and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped,but she received one from another officer,telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron,"I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh,that‘s all right," answered Joan."I‘m his sister."
"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said,"I‘m his mother!"
在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。
后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。
琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”
“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。
“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。”
“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。”
Two Soldiers
Two soldiers were in camp.The first one‘s name was George,and the second one‘s name was Bill.George said,"have you got a piece of paper and an envelope,Bill?"
Bill said,"Yes,I have," and he gave them to him.
Then George said,"Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his,and George wrote his letter.Then he put it in the envelope and said,"have you got a stamp,Bill?" Bill gave him one.
Then Bill got up and went to the door,so George said to him,"Are you going out?"
Bill Said,"Yes,I am," and he opened the door.
George said,"Please put my letter in the box in the office,and..." He stopped.
"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.
George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered,"What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"
军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?”
比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。
乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。
这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?”
比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。
乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。
“你还要什么?”比尔问。
乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是?”
Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun,and John wanted to join the army,but he was only 16 years old,and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18.So when the army doctor examined him,he said that he was 18.
But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before,and the same doctor had examined him too.This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name,so when he saw John‘s papers,he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen,sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen,too," said the doctor."Are you twins?"
"Oh,no,sir," said John,and his face went red."My brother is five months older than I am."
大五个月
第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。
可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。
“你多大了?”军医问。
“十八，长官。”约翰说。
“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?”
约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”
West Point
My father,brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College.Taking a stroll before kickoff,we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms.Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs,"to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."
One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture.They explained,"We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."
父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的橄榄球赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。”
一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。”
Present for Girlfriend
At a jewelry store,a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend."Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.
The customer thought for a moment,and then said,"No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘.That way,if we ever break up,I can use it again."
送给女友的礼物
在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。
那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。”
天蝎工科男
英文黑色幽默笑话及其翻译（通用8篇）
笑话是一个汉语词汇，意思是引人发笑的话或事情。笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。下面是我整理的英文黑色幽默笑话及其翻译相关内容。
Fred and Eric were computer programmers,and they appliedfor a single position at a computer company.They both hadthe same qualifications.In order to determine which individual to hire,the manager asked them to take a test.Upon completion of the test,both men missed only one ofthe questions.The manager went to Fred and said,“Thankyou for your interest,but we’ve decided to give the jobto the other applicant.”“And why would you do that? We both got nine questions
correct,” asked Fred.
“We have based our decision not on the correct answers,but on the question you missed,” said the manager.“And just how would one incorrect answer be better thanthe other?” asked Fred.
“Simple,” said the manager.“Your fellow applicant on question #5,‘I don’t know.’ You put down,‘Neither do I.”
弗雷德和埃里克都是电脑程序员，他们到一家电脑公司申请一个职位。
他们俩的条件一样，为了决定雇佣哪一个人，经理让他们参加一个考试。
考试结束时，他们俩都少做一题。经理走到弗雷德跟前说：“感谢你对我公司的兴趣，但我们决定录用另一位申请人了。”
“你们为什么这么做?我们俩都做对了9道题呀。”
“我们做出的决定不是根据正确的答案，而是根据你们没有做出的题。”经理说。
“仅仅根据一个不正确的回答怎么能知道一个比另一个强呢?” 弗雷德问。
“很简单。”经理说：“你的申请人伙伴回答第5题时写的是，‘我不知道’，而你写的是‘我也不知道’。
Give up your seat to a lady
Little Johnny says "Mom,when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning,he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.
"But Mommy,I was sitting on daddy's lap."
给女士让座
小强尼说：“妈妈，今天早上和爸爸在公车上时，他叫我让座给一位女士。”
妈妈说：“你做得很对呀。”
“但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。”
One day,the father lets eight year-old son send a letter,the son took the letter ,the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope.
After the son comes back,the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"
"Certainly"
"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"
"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."
"Then why you didn't take it back?"
"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee,is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"
有一天,父亲让八岁的`儿子去寄一封信,儿子已经拿着信跑了,父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。
儿子回来后,父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?” “当然”“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”
“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”“那你为什么不拿回来呢?”
“我还以为你不写地址和收信人,是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!”
Harry was given two apples,a small one and a large one,by his Mum.Share them with your sister,she said.
So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching into the large one.
Cor! said his sister,If Mum had given them to me I'd have given you the large one and had the small one myself.
Well,said Harry,that's what you've got,so what are you worrying about?
妈妈给了哈里两个苹果，一个大一点，另一个小点儿。跟妹妹分着吃。妈妈说。
所以，哈里就把小个的给了妹妹，自己开始啃那个大个的。
哼，妹妹说，如果妈妈给了我，我会把大的给你，把小的留给自己的。
对呀，哈里说，你拿到的不就是小的吗?还着什么急呀?
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ...hit his car broadside,and knocked him cold.Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him.He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics.Later,when he was calm,they asked him why he struggled so.He said,"I remember the impact,then nothing.I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge,flashing 'Shell' sign.And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'"
有个人开车行驶在上班的路上，一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车，当时他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。刚一醒过来，他就拼命的挣扎着，最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。过了一会儿，他平静了，别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎，他说：“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，当我醒过来，我发现我躺在了路边，前面是一个巨大的广告牌上面闪烁着‘壳牌，但是有个人挡住了那个‘S’。”
Tom was tired out,and he went to bed as soon as he reached home.
Suddenly it occurred to him that he had planned to do something that evening.As he could not remember what it was,he tossed and turned in his bed for along time.
Finally the thing came to his mind,"My God,the original plan was to go to bed early!" he said depressingly.
汤姆很累，一到家就上床睡觉。
忽然，他想起原来晩上计划做一件事，可他想不起来是什么事，他辗转反侧了很长时间 。
最后他突然想起来了，“上帝，我原来的计划就是早点儿上床睡觉!”他颓丧地自言自语道。
A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre,and if you could only save one painting,which one would you carry out?"
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."
一份报纸组织了一场竞赛，为下面的问题征集最佳答案：“如果卢浮宫起了火，而你只能救出一幅画，你将救出哪一幅?”
获奖的答案是：“最接近门口的那一幅。”
The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo,but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside.The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet,but the kangaroo got out again.Exasperated,the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet,but the kangaroo still escaped.A giraffe asked the kangaroo,"How high do you think they'll build the fence?" "I don't know," said the kangaroo."Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.
动物园为刚引进的袋鼠建了一个特殊的八英尺高的围墙。但是第二天早上，人们发现这动物在围墙外面蹦跳着。于是围墙高度增加到十五英尺，但袋鼠还是跑了出来。动物园经理甚感恼火，又叫人把围墙高度加到三十英尺，但袋鼠还是逃了出来。一个长颈鹿问袋鼠：“你认为他们会把围墙建到多高?” “我不知道，”袋鼠说，“如果他们继续开着大门，可能要修到一千英尺吧。”
