有关英语的笑话

关于英语的笑话集锦

导语：爱笑的人运气总不会太差，，这里我收集整理了一些英语笑话，说不定能点中你的笑穴哦。

1.Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".

2.One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?" After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up. "Well, good morning. So, you actually think you're a moron?" the professor asked. The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

3. One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition——If I am a manager.

All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.

“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.

4. Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today.

Patient: It should. I've been practicing all night.

5.Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor's consulting-room.

"Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago."

"Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?"

"To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn't need the money so badly then."

6.one day, a father and his little son were going home. at this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. now, he asked, "what's the meaning of the word 'drunk', dad?" "well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. if i regard the two policemen as four then i am drunk."

"but, dad," the boy said, " there's only one policeman!"

翻译

1.老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到?汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"

2.一天，一位大学心理学教授向他的新生们问候。他站在学生们的面前说：“如果哪位同学认为自己傻，就请站起来。” 大约过了一分钟，一位年轻人站了起来。教授说：“嗨，你好。你真的认为自己是个低能儿么?” 这个孩子回答道：“不是的，先生，我只是不忍心看着只有你自己站在这里。”

3.一天课上，老师要同学们以“如果我是一个经理”为题写一篇作文。

所有的'学生都在动笔写了，只有一个男生例外。老师走过去问他为什么不写。

“我在等我的秘书”。那孩子答道。

4.医生：听上去你咳嗽今天好多了。

病人：应该如此。我昨晚练习了一整夜

5.一个看起来很难受的穷人走进大夫的诊室。

"大夫!"他说，"帮帮我!一个月前我吞了一分硬币!"

"天哪，"大夫说，"早干嘛去了?你当时怎么不来看?"

"实话告诉您吧，大夫，"穷人说，"我当时还不缺钱!"

6.一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。”

“可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀!”