英语剧本5人搞笑

小品：上学Sketch: School刘：上课了，上课了。Liu: class, class.贾：上课了，上课了，快点快点上课了。Jia: Class A, class, hurry up to class.刘：班长好。Liu: monitor.贾：你好，听说咱们班又来了一个新班主任，还是个女的。Jia: Hello, I've heard that our class to a new teacher, or a woman.刘：管它是男还是女的，来了照样把她撵走。Liu: it is male or female, to still get rid of her.贾：嗯。Jia: well.姐：嗨，你们俩好。Sister: Hey, you guys.贾刘：早上好！Jia Liu good morning!姐：这么早就来了，诶，有没听说咱们班又换班主任了。Sister: have come so early, ah, have not heard that our class for class.贾刘：知道了知道了，早就知道了。Jia Liu: I know, know.姐：诶，而且还是个女的。Sister: ah, but a woman.贾刘：也知道了，也知道了。Jia Liu: I know, know.姐：要不我们呆会整整她。给她起个外号。Sister: or we will stay for her. Give her a nickname.刘：不错不错，这个主意不错。那起什么外号。Liu: Yes, that's a good idea. That what nickname.姐：叫喇叭花。Sister: called morning glory.刘：喇叭花，太俗了太俗了太俗了。Liu: morning glory, too too too.贾：那这样好不好？咱们帮她起个外号叫老母鸡。Jia: that is so good? Let's help her up a nickname called old hen.姐：啊，老母鸡。Sister: ah, the old hen.贾：嗯。Jia: well.刘：现在禽流感特严重。还，还敢叫老母鸡。Liu: now very serious flu. Also, also dare to call the old hen.姐：那才应该叫呢！Sister: it should be called!贾：那就 这么地吧Jia: it is so刘&姐：好好好Liu & sister: good good刘：这个好，这个好，这个好。Liu: the good, the good, the good.贾：这个主意不错哦。那待会你来叫好啦？（指向C）Jia: This is a good idea. That will be your good? (to C)姐：我不叫。Sister: I didn't call.贾：那你来叫（指向A）Jia: you call (to A)刘：我也不叫。Liu: I don't call.贾：那你也不叫，她也不叫，谁叫啊？Jia: you do not call, she didn't call, who called?姐：诶，有啦，呆会老纪来了，让她叫。她在咱班最皮了。Sister: ah, there you will stay, old age comes, let her call. She is in our class's skin.贾：诶，好主意，好主意。Jia: ah, good idea, good idea.刘：这个主意不错。Liu: that's a good idea.贾：老纪，上课啦，上课啦，上课啦。Jia: old age, class, class, class.纪：来啦。（唱歌出场）~~笑什么笑啊？没见过美女啊？？Ji: yes. (singing appearances) ~ ~ what's so funny? Haven't seen beauty ah??贾：诶，诶，老纪。Jia: Aye, aye, old age.纪：嗯。Ji: well.贾：我们班又来了一个新班主任。我们给她起了个外号叫老母鸡。一会她来了你叫哦。Jia: our class to a new teacher. We gave her the nickname old hen. For a moment she came to call you oh.纪：我不叫。Ji: I didn't call.贾：为什么？Jia: why?纪：你们老骗我，每次我一张嘴，你们把嘴都闭上了。Ji: you old fool me, every time I open my mouth, your mouth shut.贾：不是，这次不骗你。Jia: No, this is not cheating you.刘&姐：对。Liu & sister.贾：我们大家伙一起叫。Jia: our big guy called.贾&姐：嗯。Jia & sister: well.纪：这次不骗我Ji: This is not fool me贾刘&姐：恩这次不骗你。一起叫。Jia Liu & sister: well this time not to lie to you. Call together.纪好，一起叫。Well, call together.静：家好，我就是新来的班主任。听说这个班的学生特别难得教，但是，我非常有爱心，我会将我的爱心，来感化他们。同学们好！Static: good, I was new to the teacher. I heard the students in this class are particularly rare, however, I am very caring, I will put my love, to influence them. Good students!刘纪贾&姐：老。Liu Jijia: the old lady.纪：母鸡呀。Ji: hen.静：哪位小同学喊老师是老母鸡，请往前一步。（ABC一起退后）小同学，请你站起来。Static: a small classmate shout teacher is old hen, please step forward. (ABC back) small students, please stand up.纪：恩。Ji: en.静：同学，你可站稳咯。Static: students, you can stand.纪：老师，地不平。Ji: the teacher, the ground.静：小同学，你为啥叫我老母鸡。Static: small students, why did you call me old hen.纪：不告诉你Ji: don't tell you静：我有信心，我有耐心。小同学，请你跟老师到办公室去一下。Static: I have confidence, I have the patience. Small students, please go to the office together with the teacher.纪：干什么？Ji: stem what?静：老师请你吃巧克力。Static: please you eat chocolate teacher.纪：真的？Ji: really?静：真的，来。Static: really, to.纪：耶，吃巧克力去咯。Ji: Yeah, go eat chocolate.贾：诶，这叫老母鸡还吃巧克力？Jia: Hey, this is called the old hen also eat chocolate?姐：就是，早知道我们也叫哪。Sister: that is, early know we also call which.刘：就是啊。Liu: yes.静：我请你吃巧克力，德芙的，金帝的，吃啊吃，你吃饱啊。（走出来）我从来不体罚我的学生。小同学你可以出来了。Static: I ask you to eat chocolate, Dove, Kinde, eat eat, you eat ah. (out) I never spanking my students. Small students, you can come out.纪：来了（唱歌）Ji: (to Chang Ge)贾：诶，你怎么啦？老纪。Jia: Hey, how do you? The old record.姐：老纪，你没事吧？Sister: old age, are you all right?纪：老师打人。Ji: the teacher.贾刘姐：我们看看，看看。Sister Jia Liu: we have a look, have a look.刘：唉哟，伤得不轻啊？Liu: Well, hurt not light ah?贾：打得不轻啊？Jia: hit not light ah?静：接下来，老师给你们上第1课，来，小同学，请起立。Static: next, I'll give you first lesson, to, small students, please stand up.纪：怎么又是我？Ji: Why me?静：跟你们出个上联，哪位同学可以回答请举手回答。请听清楚，上联是：南通州北通州，南北通州能南北。哪个小同学可以回答？好，就你这个女同学回答？Static: tell you a couplet, which students can answer please raise their hands to answer. Please listen carefully, the alliance: South Tongzhou North Tongzhou, South Tongzhou south. Some students can answer? Good, you this female students to answer?刘：东当铺西当铺，东西当铺当东西。Liu: East West pawnshop pawn, pawn shop when things.静：诶，答得不错，还有哪位同学可以举手回答？小同学，你举手了可以回答。来来，请站起来回答。Static: ah, well reasoned, who also can raise their hands to answer? Small classmate, you raised your hand can answer. Come on, please stand up and answer.纪：答什么？Ji: a what?静：答对联。Static: a poetic couplet.纪：什么对联？Ji: what poetic couplet?静：上联是：南通州北通州，南北通州能南北。Static: the alliance: South Tongzhou, North Tongzhou, South Tongzhou south.纪：男同学女同学，男女同学学男女。Ji: male student female students, male and female students in men and women.静：挻押韵的，答得不错。来老师再问你一个？香花不红，红花不香，玫瑰花又红又香。Static: y rhyme, a well. To the teacher to ask you one? Fragrant flowers are not red, red is not sweet, rose red andsweet.纪：响屁不臭，臭屁不响，连环屁又臭又响。Ji: ring is not smelly fart, fart not ring series fart, smelly and ring.静：班长，不许打屁。Static: monitor, no warm.纪：好人咧，谢谢啊。Ji: good, thank you.静：啥子学生啊？E：班长，你看校庆就要到来了，我们班准备了什么节目？Static: what students ah? E: monitor, you see the anniversary is coming, our class to prepare what programs?贾：我们为老师准备的是朗诵。Jia: we prepared for the teacher is reading.静：那首先我们来朗诵一个。Static: the first we read a.贾：好，首先我们为老师朗诵的是春晓。春眠不觉晓。Jia: Well, first of all we as teachers reading is the chunxiao. I awake light-hearted this morning of spring,刘：处处闻啼鸟。Liu: hear birds singing everywhere.姐：夜来风雨声。Sister: night rain sound.纪：房盖掀霏了。Ji: housing lid Fei.静：（打D）变啦，看你还变？Static: (D) changed, you have to change?静：哪个教你的？Static: who taught you?纪：班长教我的。Ji: monitor taught me.纪：你干嘛老打我？Ji: why you always make me?静：一到你这里就出错？Static: one to you here?贾刘姐：老师你别打了，校长来了。Sister Jia Liu: the teacher you don't fight, to the principal.静：校长来了。Static: the principal to.贾刘姐：老纪快跑。（完）Jia Liujie: the old Ji run. (end)