办公英文短文

1.金鱼GoldfishStan: I won 92 goldfish.Fred: Where are you going to keep them?Stan: In the bathroom 。Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?Stan: Blindfold them!斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！2.Whose Father Was the StrongerWill and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said, “Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it.”Bill wasn't impressed, “Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!”威尔和比尔在为谁的父亲更强壮而争吵。威尔说： “ 喏，你知道太平洋吗？就是我爸爸为它挖的洞。 ”比尔不屑一顾： “ 噢，那没什么。你知道死海吗？那是我爸爸杀死的。 ”3.I Need Your FootballGeorge knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, “can Albert come out to play? ”“ No,” said the mother, “it's too cold. ”“ Well, then, ” said George, “ can his football come out to play ? ”乔冶敲着他朋友家的门。当朋友的妈妈来应门时，他问：“阿尔伯特可以出来玩吗？ ”“ 不行， ” 那位妈妈说， “ 天气太冷了。 ”“ 噢，那么， ” 乔冶， “ 他的足球可以出来玩吗？ ”4.Send the Bill to My FatherDoctor： 〃I can do nothing for your complaint. It is hereditary.〃Patient： 〃then send the bill to my father，please.〃医生：“对你的抱怨我无能为力。那是遗传病。”病人：“那请你把账单给我父亲吧。”5.我在谈一笔很大的生意 A young business man had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. 一个年轻人刚开始做生意，租了一间漂亮的办公室。坐在办公室，他看见一个人从外面走进办公室。装着很忙的样子，他拿起话筒，假装正在跟人谈一笔很大的生意。他从嘴里说出的，都是数目很大的数字，还有口气很大的许诺。 Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone." 最后，他挂上电话，问来访者:“您有什么事吗？”来访者说:“哦，我是来装电话的。”6. whats puberty(青春期) One evening, in the midst of dinner preparation, our 10-year-old daughter asked, "Mommy, what's puberty?" My wife was rushed at the moment, so she suggested that Peggy look up the word in the dictionary, after which they could talk about it. A few minutes later, Peggy returned. Her mother asked what the dictionary had said. "Puberty means," announced Peggy, "the earliest age at which a girl is able to bear children." "What do you think of that?" my wife asked. "I'm not sure," Peggy relied. "I've always been able to bear children. It's adults I can't bear.". 青春期一天晚上，在准备晚饭的时候，我们十岁的女儿问：“妈妈，什么是青春期？”我的妻子此时正忙得不亦乐乎，所以她建议佩吉到字典上查这个词，然后她们可以再讨论它。 几分钟以后，佩吉回来了。她妈妈问字典上怎么说。 “青春期的意思是，”佩吉宣布：“一个女孩能忍受孩子的最早年龄。” “你怎么想呢？”我妻子问。 “我不知道，”佩吉回答。“我总能忍受孩子。让我忍受不了的是大人。 Note: bear children: 生孩子。bear 一词也可作“忍受”讲。7.The Swimmer The teacher told the class the story of a man who swam a river three times before breakfast. Johnny laughed. "Do you doubt that a good swimmer could do that?" asked the teacher. "No, sir," answered Johnny, "but I wonder why he did not swim it four times and get back to the side where his clothes were." 游泳者 老师给同学们讲了一个小故事，说有一个人早饭前要在河里游泳，横渡三趟。 约翰尼笑了。 老师问道：“你不相信一个游泳很好的人可以做到么？” 约翰尼回答说：“不是的，先生，我是不明白他为什么不游四次，好回到他放衣服的那边。”8.谁签署了独立宣言 A Kentucky teacher was quizzing her students. "Johnny, who signed the Declaration of Independence?" He said, "Damn if I know." She was a little put out(激怒) by his swearing, so she told him to go home and to bring his father with him when he came back. Next day, the father came with his son, sat in the back of the room to observe. She started back in on her quiz and finally got back to the boy. "Now, Johnny, I'll ask you again. Who signed the Declaration of Independence?" "Well, hell, teacher," Johnny said, "I told you I didn't know." The father jumped up in the back, pointed a stern finger at his son, and said, "Johnny, if you signed that damn thing, hell, you damn well better admit it!"9.Why he couldn't leave?There was a meeting with a large number of people. At first the speaker was very interesting, but as time went on, he became very boring. Finally when he was through, there was only one man sitting in the large room. The speaker walked up to the man and said, "Thank you for hearing me out when all the others left the room." "Oh! Don't mention it!" replied the man, "I cannot leave because I am the next speaker."10.Stupid Question Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?" 丹在一个大城市的某个俱乐部当守门人。每天都有数千人经过他的门口，而且许多人都会停下来问他:“请问现在几点？” After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so. 几个月后，丹想:“我不想再回答这些蠢人提出的问题了，我要去买一只大钟，把它挂在这儿的墙上。”于是他买了一只钟，把它挂在了墙上。 "Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time," he thought happily. But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, "Is that clock right?" “现在人们总不会再停下来问我时间了。”他高兴地想。可是打那以后，每天仍有许多人停下来，看看钟，然后问丹:“这钟准吗？”

不是每个人都能够满意自己的工作，然而为了生活我们就得继续工作。下面是我带来的关于工作感悟的英语美文，欢迎大家阅读!关于工作感悟的英语美文篇一 拒绝加班 九大 方法 助你提高工作效率 Have too many things to do in too little time? Well, this information on how you can boostproductivity every day will certainly help. It focuses on to-do lists and making sure you actuallycomplete items on the list. 你是否经常有很多的事情要在很短的时间内完成? 那么，下面的信息将教你如何提高每天的工作效率。这篇 文章 重点关注待办事项，和如何确保你实际都完成所有待办事项了。 If you aren’t already using to-do lists, you really should be -they are one of the mosteffective methods of time organization out there and can really help you organize what youneed to do and actually track that it gets done. 假如你还没用惯待办事项清单，你真的应该去学学使用了——这是管理组织时间最有效的方法之一，而且它们能真正安排好你必须要做的事情和追踪其进度。 As someone who has a hard time staying productive, I find this chart incredibly useful,especially the part about doing the hardest task first, which I don’t usually do on my to-do lists-although I’m great at knocking off the small tasks and batching things. 作为一个很难保持工作效率的人，我发现这个列表非常有用，特别是关于要先做最难的工作的那一部分，因为我的待办事项清单中往往不是这样做的——虽然我很擅于快速做完一些小的任务和琐碎的事情。 1. Listing 1. 列清单 It all begins with listing. If you don’t have a list, create one. If you have a rough list fromthe night before, the first thing to do when you sit at your desk is to sharpen the list, addingany last minute items. 一切从列清单开始。如果你没有待办事项清单，创建一个。如果你前一晚只是大致列了个清单，你坐下的第一件事就是增强这个清单，添加一些紧要的事项。 2. Worst First 2. 从最糟糕的开始 We often have one item on the list that is hanging over our head and just doesn’t seem likeit will get taken care of. Step up to the plate and knock this out. The rest of the day is downhillfrom there. 我们的清单上通常有这样一个事项，总是悬在头顶让我们揪心，但我们好像总不会去处理它。现在开始行动并击败它，从这一刻开始一天剩下的时光就会变容易了。 3. Just do it 3. 说做就做 Use those small items to help you feel more productive. They are quick and often veryeasy. Complete and get the big marker out to cross them off the list. 完成一些小事项会让你感觉更加有效率。这些小事项能够很快很容易地完成。完成这些，然后用记号笔将它们从清单中醒目地划掉。 4. Make things enjoyable 4. 让事情变成享受 Reward yourself with occasional breaks, music you enjoy, or even a snack. Life is short.Enjoy your work. 用偶尔的休息时间奖励自己，听听喜欢的音乐，或者吃点零食也可以。生命短暂，享受你的工作。 5. Pack Times 5. 挤时间 Identify the time you know are most productive (3pm coffee hour?) and set aside sometasks for this time. When this time rolls around, close your cubical door so that it is just youand your work. 找出你最有效率的时间(下午三点的咖啡时间?)并为这段时间留出一些工作。当这个时间来临时，关上门，只留下你和你的工作。 6. Batching 6. 批量工作 Cluster your emailing sessions and your phone call sessions. Short for 3-4 batches a day.This will help keep short emails and phone calls from distracting you. 把你要发的邮件放在一起发，要打的电话的放在一起打，每天缩减成三至四批。这样可以让你免受简短的邮件或是电话的打扰。 7. Specialize 7.专注 Focus on one single task at a time. Distractions and multitasking eat up your time.Consistently completing and crossing off tasks is encouraging and satisfying. 一次只专注一个任务，分心和多任务工作都会浪费你的时间。一次性完成一项工作并一件一件做完所有的工作，这才是令人鼓舞和满意的工作效果。 8.Optimize and reflect 8.优化和 反思 a. As you get to the end of the day, think back on the day, identify your peak times, themost wasteful tasks and seek to keep from repeating these tasks tomorrow. 当到了一天的最后，回顾你的一天，找出你最忙的时段，最浪费时间的那些任务，然后试着在明天不再重复这些任务。 b. Might you have been able to more efficiently complete a task? Taking the time to make amental note of what you can do better the next time will put you on the road to continuousimprovement. 可能你已经能够更高效地完成一项任务? 花些时间写个心得，关于你下次在哪里可以做得更好，这个可以帮助你持续地进步。 9. Re-list 9.重新列清单 a. At times you will not complete everything you had on your list. This is okay, add them totomorrows list with a star so that they do not get rolled over a second day. 有时候你不能完成你待办事项清单中的所有事情，这也没关系，把他们放在明天的清单中，并加个星标记下，这样他们就不会再次被移到下一天做。 b. By the day’s end you will have a rough idea of items you need to do tomorrow. Goahead and list them. Tomorrow when you start fresh, you will be less likely to have missed anre-list. 在一天的最后，你将会对你明天要做的事情的有一个粗略概念。去吧，把它们列出来。明天当你醒来时，你就不太可能忘记了。 关于工作感悟的英语美文篇二 工作再忙也要健康 白领健身小贴士 An early morning workout may burn more calories, and improve your body's performance capabilities, but let's face it, some of us would rather sleep in and hit the gym after work. That's OK; evening workouts have their perks. 清晨锻炼可以燃烧更多热量，并提高你的体能，但面对现实吧，我们中的一些人宁愿早上睡觉下班后去健身房。这样做也可以，晚上锻炼也有好处。 If you'd much rather exercise after you've clocked your eight hours at work, here are some tips to make evening workouts a priority. 如果你更愿在工作8小时后健身，这里有一些小贴士，能让晚上锻炼更具优势。 Avoid an Afternoon Slump — Eating a big, greasy meal for lunch and then treating yourself to unhealthy snacks throughout the afternoon is one of the best ways to kibosh an early evening workout session. Refined carbs and sugar will take a toll on energy levels, so be sure to eat a healthy lunch that includes a good mix of lean protein, veggies, complex carbs, and healthy fats. This will help keep you feeling full and energized without giving you that lethargic feeling. 避免一下午的“堕落”——吃了一大顿油腻的午餐，然后下午又吃了垃圾零食，这些都是妨碍你参加傍晚锻炼的“最佳途径”。精制碳水化合物和糖分会严重消耗你的能量，所以午餐一定要吃得健康，要包括瘦肉蛋白、蔬菜、复杂的碳水化合物和健康的脂肪。这将有助于你维持饱腹感而且充满活力，不让你感觉昏昏欲睡。 Pack Your Gym Bag Before Bed — If you're not a morning person to begin with, finding time to get your gym items together may cut into what little time you have to shower or eat. Before you go to bed, get your gym bag put together and set it right at the door. Doing this will make sure you include all of your essential gym items, and you won't forget to grab it as you're leaving. 睡前收拾好你的健身包——如果你不是早起锻炼的人，为了要腾出时间收拾你的健身用品，本来洗澡或吃饭的那一点点时间可能会更少。在你上床睡觉之前，把健身包摆在一起，并放在门口。这样做将确保你准备好所有必要的健身用品，你出门时就不会忘记要带了。 Happy Hour Can Wait — You take your gym bag with you to work, but then Sally in the next cubicle reminds you that it's Greg's birthday and everyone is going to happy hour to celebrate. You may think that this is the perfect excuse to get out of your date with the treadmill, but happy hour can wait — and besides, you can squeeze in a quick workout and make it to Greg's birthday bash. 欢乐时光先等一等——你带着健身包去上班了，但随后隔壁格子间的Sally提醒你今天是Greg的生日，每个人要去狂欢庆祝。你可能觉得这是一个可以摆脱和跑步机“约会”的完美借口，但欢乐时光可以等待——此外，你可以挤出点时间快速锻炼下，然后再赶去Greg的生日会。 Sign Up For Classes With a Co-Worker — Not only does signing up for classes help keep you accountable for your after-work gym sessions, but going to them with a co-worker also leaves little room for excuses! If you buddy up with someone from work, you'll be less likely to skip out on trips from the office to the gym. And really, who doesn't like a gym buddy? 和同事一起报名参加健身班——报班健身不仅能让你下班后坚持去健身房，和同事一起锻炼也能让你很少找借口逃避!如果你和工作伙伴一起，就不太会逃避从办公室到健身房的那段路了。当然，谁不喜欢一个“健身房好友”呢? 关于工作感悟的英语美文篇三 职场 人士注意 鼠标键盘可造成慢性疾病 It's not just the most physically demanding jobs that can lead to serious injuries. Workingwith a seemingly harmless mouse and keyboard can cause chronic injuries just as easily ashauling a load of cement. In fact, repetitive strain injuries such as carpal tunnel affecthundreds of thousands of American workers a year, and lead to tens of billions of dollarsannually in workers comp claims, according to the Occupational Safety and Health Administration(OSHA)。 不是只有从事体力劳动的工作才会对身体造成严重的伤害。和看似无害的 键盘鼠标 亲密接触也能轻易的造成和拉一车水泥一样的慢性伤害。事实上，根据美国职业安全与卫生监管部门的统计，重复性压迫损伤造成的腕管疾病每年都困扰着成百上千的美国人，每年都会造成数百亿美元的经济损失。 Nelson Liu, a certified acupuncturist in Los Angeles, sees many of these disorders in hispatients. "People who sit at desks and work on computers come to me with chronic pain in theshoulders, wrist, neck, and eyes, and they often result from the small, repetitive motions theydo on the job every day," Liu tells Yahoo! HotJobs。 Nelson Liu是洛杉矶的一位针灸师，他经常能在自己的病人中见到类似的问题。他说，“坐在桌子前从事电脑相关工作的人通常会在肩部、手腕、脖子和眼睛产生一些慢性病痛，通常都归咎于他们日常工作中经常重复的小动作。” Common Injury Causes 常见的病痛原因 The top culprits of what experts call repetitive strain disorders include: 专家认为会导致重复性压迫损伤的罪魁祸首有下面几个： Sitting in an unnatural posture for a long time。 长时间保持不自然的坐姿。 Not allowing recovery time。 不给自己留出恢复的时间。 Shallow breathing。 呼吸短促。 Repetitive motions, such as using the phone, typing with bent wrists and using a mouse。 重复性的动作，比如打电话、用弯曲的手腕打字或者使用鼠标。 Using force or pressure, such as pinching pens, gripping the mouse too hard, orpounding the keyboard。 过度用力，比如摁笔、把鼠标攥的太紧或者猛击键盘。 Even emotional stress can lead to strain and pain. "People are particularly stressed outright now, and often emotional stress turns to physical stress, which turns to worse posture,which turns to pain, which turns to more stress," says Wendy Young, a certified ergonomist inHouston and author of the e-book, getinsideyourcomfortzone.com。 甚至心理压力也能导致压迫和疼痛。Wendy Young是一位工作学学者，他说，“现在的人们压力太大了，心理压力经常转化为生理上的压力，这会导致人们采用更糟糕的工作姿势，进而引起疼痛，又转化为更大的压力。” 猜你喜欢： 1. 感悟人生英语美文赏析 2. 感悟人生英语美文阅读 3. 人生哲理英语美文 4. 励志梦想英语美文 5. 人生感悟美文带英文翻译摘抄