端木青烟
暑假是一个变化多端的万花筒。五彩缤纷的它给了我们无穷无尽的乐趣。你知道怎么写一篇暑假趣事的英语作文吗?下面是我给大家精心挑选的暑假趣事英语作文10句话，希望大家喜欢!供你参考和阅读!
One day during the summer vacation, my parents took me to the chengdu zoo.
When we get to the zoo, we are greeted by parrots who talk to people. "Hello, welcome! Ah, speaking of standard mandarin. I went up to him and said, "Mr. Parrot, are you talking to me?" "It's me. Welcome. Have a nice day!" It really makes me laugh.
To the amphibious house. There, we saw fierce crocodiles, grey and white, and could swallow a chicken, and the sharp teeth were like saws. There are venomous snakes and venomous snakes, and the worst thing about snakes is bamboo leaves. Bamboo leaf blue is a kind of poisonous snake, spread in Italy, China, Japan...
I also saw the heavy elephant, the tame giraffe and the black and white zebra, all relaxed and free. The flamingos were very strange, the crown was black, the feathers were black, the face was pink and ran fast. Finally, there are sea lions, porcupine, lions and tigers. The lion and the tiger are formidable and brave. The sea lion was lovely and swam about in the water with a beard. The porcupine must have been very rare, with a thorn in its face and a body like a pig, a little bit smaller, a kind of pig that got angry when it got angry.
Ah! Not only did I have a happy day, but I also gained a lot of knowledge.
This summer vacation is unusual. We were in sixth grade this summer. So this summer vacation is the last summer in our elementary school. The holidays are full of interesting things.
The funniest of all, it should be one of the things that happens when I borrow a book from chang.
It was a hot evening and I went to meet my mother who came home from work. When I got to the front of the neighborhood, my mother suddenly called and said she had something to do. I sighed and thought, "I don't expect to go back either." Because I didn't have the key. It occurred to me that I could borrow the sixth-grade textbook, because the sixth grader, who had been known since the last encounter, lived in the neighborhood opposite my home. Thinking of it, he took out his cell phone and contacted him. The woman who answered the phone was a woman. I asked my name, and then I went to the changzi lei. After a while, he came to pick up the phone, and I asked him to lend me all the lecture books of the sixth grade and a copy of Robinson Crusoe. He said quickly, and said, "I'm coming." Hang up the phone and I'll start waiting for him. It's only five minutes, but ten minutes, twenty minutes... Half an hour passed and he didn't come. I can't help but wonder: will he be kidnapped? Because there was a dark road in their small area and a lot of low shrubs, they could hide the bad guys. I was frightened out of my cold sweat, and then I called the changzi house. His parents said he had left early. I thought: strange thing, long gone, man? I looked back at my neighborhood and suddenly noticed that there was a constant. I hastened to call him, and he came running. We met at last.
We had been waiting for half an hour for each other. So I thought, we're going to do everything in detail. Otherwise, there will be a big price to pay. In the next few days, every time I think about it, I can't help laughing. Do you think that's interesting?
这次的暑假不同寻常。因为过了这个暑假我们就进入六年级学习了。所以这个暑假也就是我们小学生活里的最后一个暑假了。假期里有趣的事，数不胜数。
最可笑的，应当是我向常子磊借书时，发生的一件事情。
那是一个炎热的傍晚，我去迎接下班回家的妈妈。可走到小区门口时，妈妈突然打电话说她有事，要加一会儿班。我叹了一口气想：“我也别指望回去了。”因为我没带钥匙。突然想到我可以去借六年级课本，因为上次巧遇而认识的六年级同学常子磊，就住在我家对面的小区里。想着，就拿出手机联系他。接电话的是个女中音，估计是他的妈妈。我先问了声好，报上我的姓名后说找常子磊。不一会儿，他来接了电话，我要他把六年级上学期所有的主课课本外加一本《鲁滨逊漂流记》借给我。他爽快地答应了，并说：“我马上来。”挂断电话，我就开始等他。估计只有五分钟的路程，可是10分钟、20分钟……半个小时过去了，他还没来。我不禁产生了怪念头：他会不会被绑架了?因为他们家小区里有一段路很暗，又有许多低矮的灌木，可以让坏人藏身。我吓出一身冷汗，连忙又打电话去常子磊家。他家长说他早就走了。我心想：奇了怪了，早走了，人呢?我又回头向自家小区看去，突然发现常子磊就在那儿。我连忙叫了他一声，他应声跑过来。我们终于见面了。
就这样的擦肩而过，害得我们彼此多等了半个小时。因此我想，做每件事，我们都要细致。否则，都要付出很大的代价的。随后的几天里，每每想到这，就会不由自主地笑起来。你们觉得有趣吗?
A summer noon, irritable the sun parched the earth mercilessly, like a brazier from heaven, on the ground as if by a huge steamed, make a person to breathe. Ren and I agreed to go for a long time in the afternoon.
The biwave pool is about 100 meters by the station in meishan station. I entered the ariel, pool, in the sight of a piece of green, blue sky, white clouds are reflected in the clear water, beats the laughter of people and water, converge into a beautiful symphony. There is a big pool and a small pool, large pool depth less than two meters, less than 50 meters long, about 25 meters wide, around with the ceramic tile of silver, under the sun radiant with silver, blue and white bottom particularly eye-catching. The small pool is about six, seventy meters long, about 25 meters wide, and the deepest place can drown my whole body, and the shallowest place cannot touch my little feet.
In the large swimming pool, we swam around for a while, swimming like a small crucian carp. In a few minutes freestyle, the swimming frog, like the flood dragon, is very comfortable. I was so tired that I got up and sprawled on the edge of the pool, resting comfortably for a while.
At last the most thrilling moment came, and only heard the screams of the hall. "the prodigal son is coming! The prodigal son is coming! The blue waves came pouring in from the police line, and they were beating people, splashing white waves, and spluttering like broken jade. A wave followed by a wave. They seemed to be in a race, and one of the waves dashed past the crowd towards the end -- and the other wave on the shore followed. I was thrown out a little over five meters away, just like a watermelon on the side of a watermelon. Then I was wiser and hurriedly mimic Ren Jianyu method, clutched a fixed in a iron rod at the bottom of the swimming pool, secretly complacent: "hey hey, now waves hands to me." Just then one of the big waves rushed over and suddenly pulled me up. What a thrill!
Out of the blue waves, I set out on my way home. My mood was as joyous as a wave.
表哥很内涵
初二英语小故事短文（精选10篇）
阅读一些英语小故事，既有趣味，又能学些短语句型。下面是我分享的初二英语小故事，欢迎阅读!
Grandma Li lived alone in an old building. She was old and didn’t like noise at all. The young man and woman 46 always made much noise every night, so she couldn’t 47 .When the young man and woman moved out of the building, Grandma Li was very 48 . Another young man moved in and Grandma Li thought, “Well, he 49 .”
But at three o’clock the next morning, when Grandma Li 50 , some noise 51 . She 52 carefully. It was a dog. She thought, “There wasn’t any dog here before. It 53 be the young man’s.” She 54 him and telephoned the young man at once. Before the young man could say something, she stopped the call.
Nothing more happened 55 four o’clock. Then Grandma Li’s telephone rang. When she answered the phone, she heard, “I’m the man upstairs. I’m sorry to trouble you, but I want to tell you I don’t have a dog at all!”
The story happened during the Second World War(战争).An old man lived in a small town of Germany. He had three sons and they all worked in the same factory where he had worked. After the war had begun , his sons were all made to join the army one after another and they all died in the frights . The old man was very sad . he didn’t have enough food and was often hungry . And nobody helped him and he didn’t know how to go in living .
It was a very cold winter night . The old man couldn’t go to sleep . He had been hungry for two days and it was so cold in his room that ice could be seen . He had to get up and begun to run in the room until he lay down on the ground. The next morning he had to beg from door to door. He had been to a lot of cities and knew a lot.
Once he came to a village , but the villages were all poor and couldn’t give him anything . He was too hungry to go to another village . He thought hard and found a way . He came to a police station and called out , “Hitler is a foolish pig (希特勒是蠢猪)!"
Out came an old policeman at once . He took the old man into a room , gave him some bread and a cup of tea . Then he said , “Don’t say in our village , sir !”
“I’m sorry, sir.” Said the old man . “I don’t know it’s Hitler’s hometown .”
“No, no , sir.” The policeman said in a hurry. “It’s pig’s hometown !”
It was Mondy. Mrs Smith’s dog was hungry, but there was not any meat in the house.
Considering that there was no better way. Mrs Smith took a piece of paper, and wrote the following words on it: “Give my dog half a pound of meat.” Then she gave the paper to her dog and said gently: “Take this to the butcher (person whose job is selling meat), and he’s going to give you your lunch today.”
Holding the piece of paper in its mouth, the dog ran to the butcher’s. It gave the paper to the butcher. The butcher read it carefully, recognized that it was really the lady’s handwriting and soon did it as he was asked to. The dog was very happy, and ate the meat up at once.
At noon, the dog came to the shop again. It gave the butcher a piece of paper again. After reading it, he gave it half a pound of meat once more.
The next day, the dog came again exactly at noon. And as usual, it brought a piece of paper in the mouth. This time, the butcher did not take a look at paper, and gave the dog its meat, for he had regarded the dog as one of his customers (* people who buy something from a shop).
But, the dog came again at four o’clock. And the same thing happened once again. To the butcher’s more surprise, it came for the third time at six o’clock, and brought with it a third piece of paper. The butcher felt a bit puzzled. He said to himself, “This is a small dog. Why does Mrs Smith give it so much meat to eat today?”
Looking at the piece of paper, he found that there were not any words on it!
One day one of God messengers descended to the world and happened to meet an eminent monk who was telling fortunes for two boys. The monk pointed at one of the boys sayingldquo;Number One Scholar,rdquo; and at another oneldBeggar.一天，上帝的一个使者来到了人间，他遇到了一位高僧，这位高僧正在为两个孩子占卜前程。高僧指着其中一个孩子说状元，然后指着另一个孩子说乞丐
Twenty years later, the messenger came down to the world again. When he saw the previous two boys, he was puzzled about the outcome: the originalldquo;Number One Scholarrdquo;now became a beggar while the originalldquo;Beggarrdquo;turned into a Number One Scholar instead.20年后，上帝的使者又来到了人间，看到了先前的那两个孩子，结果让他百思不得其解：当初的ldquo;状元rdquo;如今成了乞丐，而当初的ldquo;乞丐rdquo;反而成了状元。
So the messenger went to ask God.于是，使者去问上帝。
God answered,ldquo;I endow everyone with talent, which only decides one third of his destiny while the rest lies in how he grasps it.rdquo;上帝说：ldquo;我赋予每个人的天分只决定他命运的三分之一，其余的则在于他如何去把握。
Life is just like this.人生就是这样。
Long, long ago there were only a few thousand people in the world. These people move form place to place over the land, hunting animals for food.
No one knows how or when these people learned about growing food. But when they did, their lives changed. They did not have to look for food any more. They could stay in one place and grow it.
People began to live near one another. And so the first village grew. Many people came to work in the villages. These villages grew very big. When machines appeared(出现), life in the villages changed again. Factories were built. More and more people lived near the factories. The cities grew very big.
Today some people are moving back to small towns. Can you tell why?
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I“m going abroad tomorrow, but I“d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I“ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that“s all right," answered Joan. "I“m his sister."
"I“m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I“m his mother!"
见到您很高兴
在中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括武职官员和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了武职官员汉弗雷斯。他对她说，"我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。"琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。
后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个武职官员的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在的某个部队医院里。
琼到了医院，她对护士长说，"我来看望武职官员汉弗雷斯。"
"这里只有亲属可以探望病人。"护士长说。
"噢，是的，"琼说，"我是他的妹妹。"
"很高兴认识你，"护士长说，"我是他的母亲。"
A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog.
有个人走进一家宠物店，跟老板说要买一只万能宠物。店老板建议他买只忠心的狗。
The man replies, "Come on, a dog?"
那个人回答：“得了吧，狗行吗?”
The owner says, "How about a cat?"
老板说：“那猫怎么样?”
The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"
那个人回答：“不行啦!猫当然不会是万能的'。我要的是万能宠物!”
The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it! a centipede!"
店老板想了一会儿说道：“有了!就是蜈蚣!”
The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay... I'll try a centipede."
那个人说：“蜈蚣?真难想象蜈蚣会是万能的，不过也好...我就买一条蜈蚣试试看。”
He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, "Clean the kitchen."
他把蜈蚣带回家后跟蜈蚣说：“去打扫厨房。”
Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and... It's immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling; the floor waxed.
过了三十分钟，他走进厨房一看...居然全部都干干净净的!所有的盘子和银制餐具都洗好、烘干、各归各位;厨具台面也清洁溜溜;每种用具都闪闪发亮;连地板都打了蜡。
He is absolutely amazed.
他看得目瞪口呆、惊愕连连。
He says to the centipede, "go clean the living room."
他跟蜈蚣说：“去打扫客厅。”
Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on the sofa plumped; Plants watered. The man thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!"
过了二十分钟，他走进客厅一看，地毯已用吸尘器吸过;加剧也擦得一尘不染;沙发上的枕头也已拍松;植物也浇了水。那个人心想：“我从来没看过这么神奇的事，这真的是一只万能宠物!”
Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper."
接着他跟蜈蚣说：“去街角帮我买份报纸。”
The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later... no centipede. 20 minutes later... no centipede. 30 minutes later... no centipede.
蜈蚣于是走出大门。10分钟过去了...蜈蚣还没回来;20分钟过去了...蜈蚣还没回来;30分钟过去了...蜈蚣还是没有回来。
By this point the man is wondering what's going on. So he goes to the front door, opens it... and there's the centipede sitting right outside.
那个人开始纳闷到底发生了什么事，于是走到大门打开一看...蜈蚣居然就坐在外面。
The man says, "hey!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What's the matter?!"
那个人说：“我不是45分钟前就叫你去街角的商店帮我买份报纸吗?到底是怎么回事?”
The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm just putting on my shoes!"
蜈蚣说：“这就去!这就去!我的鞋子快穿好了!”
My father is very busy with his work and seldom accompanies me. One day, my father accompanied me to an after-school class. He was listening with me, because it was too early for me to yawn in class. However, my father was very earnest. After class, I saw the homework assigned by the teacher. I went to ask my father, and he told me all the things I didn't have to listen to in class.
My father told me, "you are not afraid of not being serious." I want to thank my father for letting me know that.
我爸爸平时工作很忙，很少陪我。有一天周末，爸爸陪我去上课外班，他和我一起听课，因为太早了，我上课不停地打哈欠。可是爸爸却很认真，下课了，我一看老师布置的作业好难，我去问爸爸，爸爸把课堂上我没有好好听的内容又给我讲了一遍。
爸爸告诉我：“不怕你不会，就怕不认真。”我要感谢爸爸让我懂得了这个道理。
1、The fox and the grapes
Hungry fox saw the vine hanging from a string of crystal clear grapes, slobber DC, want to eat off, but also Can't reach. At the moment, feel helpless to go, he said while walking his own comfort:" this has not cooked grape, sure Are sour."
That is to say, some capacity is small, do not a thing, on the pretext that premature.
饥饿的狐狸看见葡萄架上挂着一串串晶莹剔透的葡萄，口水直流，想要摘下来吃，但又摘不到。看了一会儿，无可奈何地走了，他边走边自己安慰自己说：“这葡萄没有熟，肯定是酸的。”
这就是说，有些人能力小，做不成事，就借口说时机未成熟。
2、The little boy and the Scorpion
There is a child in the front wall to catch the grasshopper, while to catch a lot. Suddenly he saw a scorpion, he thought that is the grasshopper,
Then two go to catch him. The scorpion his sting, said: "come, if you really dare to do like this, even you catch a grasshopper Grasshopper will completely lose."
This story warns people, to distinguish good and bad, to treat them differently.
有个小孩在城墙前捉蚱蜢，一会儿就捉了许多。忽然看见一只蝎子，他以为也是蚱蜢，
便着两手去捕捉他。蝎子举起他的毒刺，说道：“来吧，如果你真敢这样做，就连你捉的蚱蜢也会统统失掉。”
这故事告诫人们，要分辨清好人和坏人，区别对待他们。
3、The wolf and the crane
Wolf mistakenly swallow a piece of bone, very hard, running around, looking for a doctor. He met the egret, stipulated fees to invite him
Bone removed, Lusi their head into the wolf's throat, and drew out the bone, so the wolf to be a good reward. The wolf answered
Say:" Hey, friend, you can wolf mouth all is well. Withdraws head, can not meet, how to speak reward?"
This story illustrates, the bad guys do no reward, and be thankful if you say the essence of credit.
狼与鹭鸶
狼误吞下了一块骨头，十分难受，四处奔走，寻访医生。他遇见了鹭鸶，谈定酬金请他
取出骨头，鹭鸶把自己的头伸进狼的喉咙里，叼出了骨头，便向狼要定好的酬金。狼回答
说：“喂，朋友，你能从狼嘴里平安无事地收回头来，难道还不满足，怎么还要讲报酬？”
这故事说明，对坏人行善的报酬，就是认识坏人不讲信用的本质。
4、The widow and the hen
A widow woman kept a hen, hen lays an egg every day. She thought some more chicken feed barley, a day will be two
Egg. Therefore, such a day to feed her, the result looks more and more fat hen, an egg a day is not even under the.
This story explained that, some people because of greed, want more benefits, the results are even deprived of the existing.
有个寡妇养着一只母鸡，母鸡每天下一个蛋。她以为多给鸡喂些大麦，就会每天下两个
蛋。于是，她就每天这样喂，结果母鸡长得越来越肥，每天连一个蛋也不下了。
这故事说明，有些人因为贪婪，想得到更多的利益，结果连现有的都失掉了。
5、Standing on the roof of the goat and Wolf
The little goats on the roof, saw a wolf from the pass underneath, and cursed him, laughing at him. The wolf said:" Oh, man, scold
I is not you, but you are in the ground."
This story illustrates the advantages and the secret, often give a person with strong courage to fight.
小山羊站在屋顶上，看见狼从底下走过，便谩骂他，嘲笑他。狼说道：“啊，伙计，骂
我的不是你，而是你所处的地势。”
这故事说明，地利与天机常常给人勇气去与强者抗争。
6、Mountain Earthquake
One time, a mountain happened a big earthquake, vibration sounds like a loud moan and shout. Many people gathered
At the foot of the mountain to watch, do not know what had happened. While they were assembled in anxious, worried about seeing something bad omen, only
Saw a mouse running from the mountain.
Don't make much ado about nothing.
山 震
有一次，一座大山发生了大震动，震动发出的声音就像大声的呻吟和喧闹。许多人云集
在山下观看，不知发生了什么事。当他们焦急地聚集在那里，担心看到什么不祥之兆时，仅
看见从山里跑出一只老鼠。
这是说庸人多自忧。
7、Good and evil
Weak forces of good, evil away to heaven by. Asked Zeus is good at, how can we return to earth to. Zeus told
He, you don't go, one of the world's visit. Evil and people very close, so continuously to find him
Are. Good because down from the sky, on the very slow to very slow.
That is to say, people is not easy to meet good, but every day of the injury or harm.
善 与 恶
力量弱小的善，被恶赶走到了天上。善于是问，怎样才能回到人间去。告诉
他，大家不要一起去，一个一个的去访问人间吧。恶与人很相近，所以接连不断地去找他
们。善因为从天上下来，所以就来得很慢很慢。
这就是说，人很不容易遇到善，却每日为恶所伤害。
8、Two pockets
Prometheus created man, and in each of them hanging round her neck has two pockets, a pack the faults of others, the other
Of their own equipment. He put the loaded others faults pocket hanging in the chest, the other is hanging behind his back. Hence it is that men are
Quick to see the faults of others, and their total however invisible.
This story explained that people often like to find fault with others, but ignore their shortcomings.
创造了人，又在他们每人脖子上挂了，一只装别人的缺点，另一只装自己的。
他把那只装别人缺点的口袋挂在胸前，另一只则挂在背后。因此人们总是能够很快地看见别人的缺点，而自己的却总看不见。
这故事说明人们往往喜欢挑剔别人的缺点，却无视自身的缺点。
9、The hunting dog
An old dog young and strong never yielded to any beast of the forest, the elderly, in a hunting, met a Wild boar,
he bravely rushed to bite pig ears. Because of his dental aging weakness, not snapped, wild boar Run away.
Master came running greatly disappoint one's hopes, give him a meal. Old dogs raised his head and said:" master ah! This cannot be Blame me not.
My brave spirit and the youth are the same, but I can't resist the natural law. I used to act by Your praise, it should not be your blame."
That is to say, the birth and death is the inexorable law.
老 猎 狗
一条老猎狗年轻力壮时从未向森林中任何野兽屈服过，年老后，在一次狩猎中，遇到一头野猪，
他勇敢地扑上去咬住野猪的耳朵。由于他的牙齿老化无力，不能牢牢地咬住，野猪逃跑了。
主人跑过来后大失所望，痛骂他一顿。年老的猎狗抬起头来说：“主人啊！这不能怪我不行。我的勇敢精神和年轻时是一样的，但我不能抗拒自然规律。
从前我的行为受到了你的称赞，现在也不应受到你的责备。”
这是说，生老病死是不可抗拒的规律。
10、The ants and beetles
Summer, other animal have a leisurely life, only the ants run around in the fields to collect, wheat and barley, give yourself aWinter food storage. Surprised todung beetle asked him why he was so diligent. Ant at the time said nothing.
Winter came, a heavy rain washed cow dung, dung beetle hungry, where ant went begging, ants said to him:" hey,Buddy, if at the time when I work, you not criticize me, but also to work, we would not have the hungry."
It is said that, despite the changing situation, the people can avoid disaster save.
蚂蚁与屎壳郎
夏天，别的动物都悠闲地生活，只有蚂蚁在田里跑来跑去，搜集小麦和大麦，给自己贮存冬季吃的食物。屎壳郎惊奇地问他为何这般勤劳。蚂蚁当时什么也没说。冬天来了，大雨冲掉了牛粪，饥饿的屎壳郎，走到蚂蚁那里乞食，蚂蚁对他说：“喂，伙计，如果当时在我劳动时，你不是批评我，而是也去做工，现在就不会忍饥挨饿了。”这是说，尽管风云变化万千，未雨绸缪的人都能避免灾难。
A child was careless Ramie stabbed, he rushed home and told his mother: "I only lightly Pengyi what, it was my painful thorns." Mom said: "Because of this, it will thorn you. if the next time you met Ramie, to a courageous and seize it, it will be in your hands become soft as silk, you will no longer be stabbed. "
一个小孩不小心被苎麻刺了，他急忙跑回家，告诉妈妈说：“我只轻轻地碰它一下，它就刺得我很痛。”妈妈说：“正因为如此，它才会刺你。下次你如果再碰到苎麻，要勇敢地一把抓住它，它就会在你的手中变得柔软如丝，不再会刺伤你了。
zhouqian0825
英语笑话（一） Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys. 猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？ Q: How can you most irritate a farmer? A: By treading on his corn? 如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。 Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world? A: The snail. It carries its house on its back. 因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？ Q: What do people do in a clock factory? A: They make faces all day. 一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。 Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep? A: Keep him awake. 怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。 英语笑话（二） He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。 英语笑话（三） Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它们是从美国直接带来的 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。 这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。” 英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” 英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 给我那个打赢的吧 -- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。 -- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。 -- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。 英语笑话（六）The mean man's party. The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?" 吝啬鬼请客 一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。” “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？” “你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。 英语笑话（七）Advice for "Kid" A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid." 忠告“年轻者” 这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话， 千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。” 英语笑话（八）Which woman? One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall. On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield." My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?" 哪一位女人？ 一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。” 我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？” 英语笑话（九）The doctor lives downstairs "Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me." He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs." 医生住在楼下 “医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。 “我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。” 他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。” 英语笑话（十）One Engine Left A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult." Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late." At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!" 只剩一个引擎 一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时 。” 过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦 ？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。” 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”
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