百合妖妖1990
故事是小学生所喜爱的,引人入胜的故事情节不仅能够对小学生产生很强的吸引力,使小学生注意力集中,同时还能够带给学生愉悦的体验。我精心收集了英语课前三分钟小故事，供大家欣赏学习!
Where Do You keep Yours ?
你的东西放到哪儿去了?
The famous, but rather aged, doctor was making his rounds, followed by a young intern. Suddenly the intern noticed something peculiar.
一位上了年纪的著名医生正在各病房做例行巡视，一位年轻的实习医生跟着他，突然那名实习医生注意到一件怪事。
"Say, doctor, are you aware that you have a suppository behind your ear?"
“医师先生，您有没发现您耳朵放了一支栓剂呢?"
"Oh, shit!" exclaimed the eminent practitioner. "Do you know what this means?"
“喔!真是糟糕!”那位名医说道，“你知道那表示什么吗?”
"What?"
“什么呢?”
"Some asshole has got my pen!"
“我把我的钢笔塞到某一位病人的屁股里面去了!”
We're in the Same Boat
同病相怜
The young man was terribly self-conscious because he had a wooden eye.
一位年轻人因为他有只木制的眼睛而感到非常自卑。
His friends would often invite him to dance parties,
他的朋友常会邀请他参加舞会，
but he could never work up the courage to ask a girl to dance.
但他从没能鼓起勇气邀请女孩子跳舞。
But then, one evening, he spotted a girl With a wooden leg sitting sadly by herself.
有一晚，他却不经意看见一位装了一只木制义肢的女孩独自伤心地坐在角落。
Apprehensively, he walked up to her and asked,
他很谨慎地走向她问道：
"Would you like to dance?"
“你要不要跳舞呀?”
"Would I? ! " she exclaimed.
“我要不要? ”她惊叫。
"Oh, yeah? Well, you've got a wooden leg!"
“哦，怎么了?你有一只木制的义肢 (而我有一只木制的假眼，咱们应是天生的一对嘛!)。”
A young vice president of a bank had embezzled $200,000, and squandered it at the race track. The bank examiners were due the next day, and there was no way he could conceal his crime. What's more, when he told the sad tale to his wife, she packed her bags and left him.
一位年轻的银行副总裁挪用了二十万美金的公款，并悉数浪费在赛马上，银行的督察第二天就要来视察，而他也没办法隐瞒他的不法行为。更糟的是，当他把此一不幸的消息告诉他老婆时，她竞收拾行李，离他而去。
Totally despondent, the young man headed for the nearest bridge and prepared to throw himself into the river. Just as he was about to leap off, a hideous olci hag ran up to him, shouting for him to stop.
年轻人非常沮丧地走向离家最近的一座桥想投河自尽。就在他要跳下水时，一位面目可憎的老巫婆跑上前去，制止了他的行动。
"You don't understand," explained the banker, and told her about his predicament.
“你不了解我的痛苦，”银行家说道，并且把他的困境告诉老巫婆。
"Ha-ha," chortled the hag. "Why, that's nothing. It just so happens that I'm a witch, and I can solve all your problems "The witch seemed to concentrate, made some mystic signs and uttered a series of bizarre phrases.
“哈哈!”巫婆咯咯地笑，“那也没什么，刚好我是个女巫，我可解决你所有的难题。接着女巫似乎全神专注地在空中比划一些玄妙的符号，口中还念着一大串奇怪的话。
"There you are," she said triumphantly. "Not only is the money returned, but there's another $ 200,O0O in your safe deposit box And your wife is back at home and the whole matter has been erased from her memory. "
“你的问题我都帮你解决了，”她得意洋洋地说道，“不仅要回了你那二十万，你的保险柜里面还多了二十万美金!你太太也已回家，而且我已从她的记忆中除去了这件不愉快的事!”
"My God, can this really be true?" exclaimed the man.
“我的天啊，你说的是真的吗?，’那个人说道。
"Of course," replied the hag. "But if you want to keep it true, you must do one thing. You must take me to a hotel and screw my brains out. "
“当然啦!”巫婆回答道，“但是你如果要我保持目前这个状况的话，就必须答应我一件事，带我到旅社并和我做爱一个晚上。”
The man gulped, for the old woman was truly hideous, and smelt horrible as well. But seeing no alternative, he did as she requested, and holding his nose and averting his eyes, performed his duty manfully all night.
那个老兄吞了一口口水，因为女巫不但长像可怕，而且浑身臭气逼人。由于别无选择，他答应了她的要求，整个晚上他屏住气息，别过脸避开巫婆的视线，不停地履行他的承诺。
In the morning, as he was getting dressed, the repulsive crone turned to him and said, "Sonny, how old are you anyway?"
隔天早上，银行家正在穿衣服，那令人厌恶的丑老太婆面向他问道：“小老弟，你究竟多大年纪呢?”
"Thirty-three," replied the executive.
“三十三，”老兄答道。
"And don't you think you're a little bit old to believe in witches?"
“那你不认为你实在年长得可以不相信有巫婆的存在了吗?”
大米粒圆又圆
英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下：
Midway Tactics
Three peting store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
中间战术
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
Very Pleased to Meet You
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve e to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."
"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"
在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要出国，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。
后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。
琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”
“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。
“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。”
“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。”
Two Soldiers
Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was Gee, and the second one‘s name was Bill. Gee said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"
Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.
Then Gee said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and Gee wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.
Then Bill got up and went to the door, so Gee said to him, "Are you going out?"
Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.
Gee said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.
"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.
Gee looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"
军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?”
比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。
乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。
这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?”
比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。
乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。
“你还要什么?”比尔问。
乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?”
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