左村爆破兵
下面是我整理的10个经典英语幽默 故事 ，欢迎大家阅读!
英语幽默故事1.
When I checked on to a hotel in my last visit to the U.S.A., the receptionist said: “ Do you want a room with a shower or a bath?”
Thinking of the money, I asked, “ What’s the difference?”
“Well, “ he said, “ with a shower, you have to stand up.”
英语幽默故事2.
A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. “ I feel terrible,” she said. “ I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seam of your trousers.”
“Forget it,” consoled her husband. “”Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”
“Yes,” said the woman, cheering up. “ And it’s lucky you have. I used them to patch the hole.
英语幽默故事3.
The new bank teller was given a package of dollar bills with the instruction to count them and see if there were a hundred. He counted up to fifty-eight and then threw the bundle down.
“ Why did you stop?” asked the bank manager
” If it’s right this far, said the teller, “ It’s probably right all the way.”
英语幽默故事4.
Landlady: An inventor once had this room. He invented an explosive.
New Lodger: Oh, I suppose those spots on the ceiling are the explosives.
L: No, that’s the inventor.
英语幽默故事5.
Plumber: I’m sorry I’m late, but I just couldn’t get here any sooner.
M: Well, no time’s been wasted. While we were waiting for you, I taught my wife how to swim.
英语幽默故事6.
M: There are two slices of pie in the cupboard this morning and now there’s only one. Can you explain that?
S: It was so dark, I didn’t see the other slice.
英语幽默故事7.
In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, the teacher asked one of the boys, “ What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?”
“ To be deaf,” replied the boy.”
“ Nonsense!” said the teacher angrily.
“ Why, sir! Don’t you know that the most famous musician Beethoven was deaf?” the boy asked in reply disdainfully.
英语幽默故事8.
A newspaper boy was selling newspapers in the street. He kept shouting at the top of his voice: “ Read all about it! A big swindling case! Eighty-two persons were swindled!” His curiosity aroused, a man went over and bought a copy. He searched through it and couldn’t find anything about the swindling case. Then he heard the newspaper boy shout: “ Read all about it! A big swindling case! Eighty-three persons were swindled!”
英语幽默故事9.
Five-year-old Tommy is fascinated by planes, and rushed outside every time he hears one to watch it until it becomes a speck in the distance. So when he finally had the chance to fly for the first time, he is pop-eyed with excitement. About ten minutes after take-off, he asks expectantly, “ When do we start to get smaller, Mummy?”
英语幽默故事10.
A man was told by his physician that he had only six months to live. “ Doc,” he said, “ is there anything I can do?”
“ Yes,” replied the doctor. “ First, give all your possessions to the poor. Next, move to a cold-water shack in the backwoods. And then marry a woman with nine young children.”
“ Will this give me more time?”
“ No-- but it’ll be the longest six months in your life!”
小人鱼不流泪
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面我为大家带来幽默风趣英语小故事三则，欢迎大家阅读!
幽默风趣英语小故事：恭喜
"I'd like you to come right over," a man phoned an undertaker(承办人), " and supervise the burial of my poor, departed wife."
"Your wife!" gasped the undertaker, "Didn't I bury her two years ago?"
"You don't understand," said the man, "You see I married again."
"Oh," said the undertaker, "Congratulations!"
一位男子给殡仪馆老板打电话：“我希望你能来我这里主持我可怜的妻子的葬礼。”
老板吃力地说：“你的妻子!我在两年前没有埋葬她吗?”
男子说：“你不知道，我又结婚了”
“噢”， 老板说，“恭喜恭喜!”
幽默风趣英语小故事：征婚启事
Things were really getting worse after the war. Life became so difficult that a lot of people lived in want(在贫困中).
A newspaper had published an advertisement for a man in want of tires: "Owner of a truck would like to correspond with a widow who owns two tires. Object: matrimony(结婚). Send picture of tires."
战后情况真是越来越糟了。生活变得非常艰难，缺少东西的人很多。
有一家报纸曾给一个需要轮胎的人登过一个这样的广告：“一部货车的车主愿意和一位备有两个轮胎的寡妇通信。目的：成婚。 要把轮胎的照片寄过来。”
幽默风趣英语小故事：一个遭遇海难的水手
A sailor was the only survivor of the shipwreck.
He had to stay on a desert island for three years.
One day he was very pleased to find a ship anchored in the day. When a small boat cameashore, an officer handed him a bunch of newspaper and said, "The captain suggests you read what's going on the world, and then tell us if you want to be rescued."
一个水手是船只失事后唯一的幸存者。
他不得不在一个荒岛上待了三年。
