英语课堂上的故事

故事是小学生所喜爱的,引人入胜的故事情节不仅能够对小学生产生很强的吸引力,使小学生注意力集中,同时还能够带给学生愉悦的体验。我精心收集了英语课前三分钟小故事，供大家欣赏学习!

Where Do You keep Yours ?

你的东西放到哪儿去了?

The famous, but rather aged, doctor was making his rounds, followed by a young intern. Suddenly the intern noticed something peculiar.

一位上了年纪的著名医生正在各病房做例行巡视，一位年轻的实习医生跟着他，突然那名实习医生注意到一件怪事。

"Say, doctor, are you aware that you have a suppository behind your ear?"

“医师先生，您有没发现您耳朵放了一支栓剂呢?"

"Oh, shit!" exclaimed the eminent practitioner. "Do you know what this means?"

“喔!真是糟糕!”那位名医说道，“你知道那表示什么吗?”

"What?"

“什么呢?”

"Some asshole has got my pen!"

“我把我的钢笔塞到某一位病人的屁股里面去了!”

We're in the Same Boat

同病相怜

The young man was terribly self-conscious because he had a wooden eye.

一位年轻人因为他有只木制的眼睛而感到非常自卑。

His friends would often invite him to dance parties,

他的朋友常会邀请他参加舞会，

but he could never work up the courage to ask a girl to dance.

但他从没能鼓起勇气邀请女孩子跳舞。

But then, one evening, he spotted a girl With a wooden leg sitting sadly by herself.

有一晚，他却不经意看见一位装了一只木制义肢的女孩独自伤心地坐在角落。

Apprehensively, he walked up to her and asked,

他很谨慎地走向她问道：

"Would you like to dance?"

“你要不要跳舞呀?”

"Would I? ! " she exclaimed.

“我要不要? ”她惊叫。

"Oh, yeah? Well, you've got a wooden leg!"

“哦，怎么了?你有一只木制的义肢 (而我有一只木制的假眼，咱们应是天生的一对嘛!)。”

A young vice president of a bank had embezzled $200,000, and squandered it at the race track. The bank examiners were due the next day, and there was no way he could conceal his crime. What's more, when he told the sad tale to his wife, she packed her bags and left him.

一位年轻的银行副总裁挪用了二十万美金的公款，并悉数浪费在赛马上，银行的督察第二天就要来视察，而他也没办法隐瞒他的不法行为。更糟的是，当他把此一不幸的消息告诉他老婆时，她竞收拾行李，离他而去。

Totally despondent, the young man headed for the nearest bridge and prepared to throw himself into the river. Just as he was about to leap off, a hideous olci hag ran up to him, shouting for him to stop.

年轻人非常沮丧地走向离家最近的一座桥想投河自尽。就在他要跳下水时，一位面目可憎的老巫婆跑上前去，制止了他的行动。

"You don't understand," explained the banker, and told her about his predicament.

“你不了解我的痛苦，”银行家说道，并且把他的困境告诉老巫婆。

"Ha-ha," chortled the hag. "Why, that's nothing. It just so happens that I'm a witch, and I can solve all your problems "The witch seemed to concentrate, made some mystic signs and uttered a series of bizarre phrases.

“哈哈!”巫婆咯咯地笑，“那也没什么，刚好我是个女巫，我可解决你所有的难题。接着女巫似乎全神专注地在空中比划一些玄妙的符号，口中还念着一大串奇怪的话。

"There you are," she said triumphantly. "Not only is the money returned, but there's another $ 200,O0O in your safe deposit box And your wife is back at home and the whole matter has been erased from her memory. "

“你的问题我都帮你解决了，”她得意洋洋地说道，“不仅要回了你那二十万，你的保险柜里面还多了二十万美金!你太太也已回家，而且我已从她的记忆中除去了这件不愉快的事!”

"My God, can this really be true?" exclaimed the man.

“我的天啊，你说的是真的吗?，’那个人说道。

"Of course," replied the hag. "But if you want to keep it true, you must do one thing. You must take me to a hotel and screw my brains out. "

“当然啦!”巫婆回答道，“但是你如果要我保持目前这个状况的话，就必须答应我一件事，带我到旅社并和我做爱一个晚上。”

The man gulped, for the old woman was truly hideous, and smelt horrible as well. But seeing no alternative, he did as she requested, and holding his nose and averting his eyes, performed his duty manfully all night.

那个老兄吞了一口口水，因为女巫不但长像可怕，而且浑身臭气逼人。由于别无选择，他答应了她的要求，整个晚上他屏住气息，别过脸避开巫婆的视线，不停地履行他的承诺。

In the morning, as he was getting dressed, the repulsive crone turned to him and said, "Sonny, how old are you anyway?"

隔天早上，银行家正在穿衣服，那令人厌恶的丑老太婆面向他问道：“小老弟，你究竟多大年纪呢?”

"Thirty-three," replied the executive.

“三十三，”老兄答道。

"And don't you think you're a little bit old to believe in witches?"

“那你不认为你实在年长得可以不相信有巫婆的存在了吗?”

1.Count to one Hundred Before You Speak In class,the teacher,with his back leaning against the stove,said to the students,"Before you speak,you should think and count to at least 50,and for important matters to 100."No sooner had the teacher stopped talking than the students began to count. at last all the students shouted together,"1...98,99,100.teacher,your clothes are on fire."数到一百再说课堂上，老师背靠火炉站着，对学生们说：“说话前要三思，起码数到50，重要的事情要数到一百。”老师的话音刚落，学生立刻从“1”开始数起来。最后一起喊：“98，99，100！老师，您的衣服着火了。”2.The Advantage of AlcoholIn order to prove the harmful effect of alcohol,the teacher put a bug into a glass filled with alcohol,soon the bug died. The teacher asked a student,"what does this show?"The student answered,"It shows that people won't get parasites if they drink more alcohol."酒的好处为了证明酒精对生物的危害，老师把一只虫子放入装有酒精的杯子里，虫子很快就死了。老师问一个学生：“这说明了什么？”学生答道：“说明人多喝酒，就不会长虫子。”3.Exchange the Tortoise for the WolfTeacher:Some students are becoming arrogant.Do you remember the story about race between the hare and the tortoise?Now,Xiaoming,will you please tell us why the hare was defeated by the tortoise?Xiaoming:Because the hare fell asleep.Teacher:Absolutely right!What should we do so that the hare won't fall asleep?Xiaoming:Exchange the tortoise for the wolf.把乌龟换成狼老师：有些同学开始骄傲了，大家还记得龟兔赛跑的故事吗。小明，你说说看，兔子为什么输给乌龟？小明：因为它睡觉了。老师：对极了！我们应该怎么做才能让兔子不睡觉呢？小明：把乌龟换成狼！

The New Teacher George comes from school on the first of September. "George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother. "I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....." 新老师 9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。 "乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。 "妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。" A: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea? B: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys. A:猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？ B:猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。 A:Which is the strongest creature in the world? B: The snail. It carries its house on its back. A:世界上最强壮的动物是什么? B:蜗牛.因为它可以把自己的房子放在背上. A: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep? B: Keep him awake. A:怎样才能不让梦游者梦游呢？ B:不让他睡觉. He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。 Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它们是从美国直接带来的 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。 这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。” my little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” Bring me the winner -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 给我那个打赢的吧 -- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。 -- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。 -- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。 One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?" 一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?" Two birls Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 两只鸟 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？ 学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。 老师：请说说看。 学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 学的越多,知道的越多, 知道的越多,忘记的越多, 忘记的越多,知道的越少,为什么学来着?!

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys. 猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？ Q: How can you most irritate a farmer? A: By treading on his corn? 如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。 Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world? A: The snail. It carries its house on its back. 因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？

Hellow,my name is xxx,I'm xx years old. i like xxxxxxx,i don't like xxxxx,my favourite food is xxxx,on the weekend i usually xxxxx,sometime i xxxxx,that all,thank you!