学英语的搞笑小品

人物:白云,黑土,小燕（两人）白云上:"黑土走了吗?小燕上学走了吗?走了?都走了!剩下我白云,该我练练节目为了迎奥运参战!" heitu gone? Xiaoyan go to school? Gone? All gone! so let me practice the programe in order to welcome the Olympic! " (这里可以跳舞唱歌什么的先表演一下) 黑土上:"你这是干啥?" what are you doing here 白云:"排练节目呢,别在着捣乱?" i am busy now Do not make trouble 黑土:"小燕哪去了,英语老师让她去上课!" where is Xiaoyan, English teacher let her go to english class! 白云"她上哪儿我也不知道." i do not know where she is 黑土:"你能知道啥?成天不是写书就是跳舞"说完拿起手机拨:"小燕!小燕!我是你爹!我是你爷爷,爷爷!有事快回来---" what did you know?just dancing and writing all days Xiaoyan!Xiaoyan! i am your father!i am your grandfather,grandfatrher! Come home quickly 白云:"啥意思,你啥意思,连辈都整不明白.名副其实的老年痴呆!" what?what's your mean?you don't know who you are. totally a fool 小燕:"爷爷你找我?"(小燕气喘吁吁地上来) Grandpa,you call me? 白云:"小燕你上哪儿去了?" Where you went to 小燕:"在学校参加迎奥运文艺彩排!" i have practiced the program in order to welcome the Olympic in school 黑土:"你也练节目?" You are rehearsing too? 小燕:"爷爷,老师让我独唱呢!" Grandpa, the teacher let me do solo 白云:"你还能唱歌,你嗓子要是象你爷爷,唱一句该不会把外国人都吓昏了吧?" You can sing?if you like your grandfather's voice, foreigners will shocked when they heard about your voice 黑土:"象你奶奶好,象你奶奶人前一站你找对象都难." If you look like your grandmother, could not find boyfriends 小燕:"爷爷奶奶别说了."然后又问:"爷爷你叫我回来干啥?" Do not speak.why you call me back 黑土:"老师让你去上英语课." the teacher let you to English class 小燕:"爷爷,我去不了,今天下午老师让我练歌." grandpa, I could not go, this afternoon teacher let me practice the song 黑土:"练什么练,快去学英语,别耽误上课." Studies English quickly, do not delay the class 小燕:"爷爷今天不行,节目安排非常紧,抽不出时间." grandpa,is not good today, the program arranges to be tight, cannot extract the time 黑土:"请个假呗唱歌还能当饭吃?小燕听话,学好外语,一个女孩子家,将来当个英语教师什么的.吃个轻松饭,奥运会是国家和运动员的事,咱们参合啥?" Asks for leave to teacher .Studies the foreign language diligently, in the future will work as teacher of English anything. , the Olympic Games are national and athlete's matter 白云:"你说什么?开奥运没你事儿?难道你不是中国人?" What did you say? Holds the Olympic Games is not your business? Aren't you the Chinese ? 黑土:"是又怎么样?奥运会也不缺我黑土." so what?The Olympic Games do not lack me 小燕:"爷爷,别阻止我去唱歌好吗?" Grandfather, please don't prevent me to sing 黑土:"不是不让,是不想让你误了学英语." I dont want to let you delay study English 小燕:"误什么?参加奥运会演出还能锻炼自己,接触外国人还能加强口语,再说,奥运会对咱中国人多重要!" Attends the Olympic Games perform can also exercise itself, contacts the foreigner also to be able to strengthen the spoken language, and, the Olympic Games are much important to our Chinese! “ 黑土:"重要在哪啊?" what's the important 白云:"这奥运会咱盼了多少年,如今才圆了这个梦!你说重要在哪?" we had hoped the OlympicGames for many years, only , then has been round this dream today! 小燕:"奶奶说的对 grandmother is right 白云:"就是,咱们中国人站起来了,外国人也不敢小瞧我们了.过去洋人管我们叫东亚病夫,现在,特别是把刘翔一瞧,他们立刻都变成了刘翔的粉条." yes Chinese become strong.The foreigner did not dare to look down on us .In the past the foreigner called us as sicker in East Asian.Now, specially Liu Xiang,They turn Liu Xiang's starch noodles immediately 小燕:"是粉丝!" is fans... 白云:"我一听2008年在中国开奥运会就立刻写了一首歌" i write a song for 2008 Olympic Games 小燕:"什么歌?唱给我听听,好不好" a song?let me hear ok? 白云:"好,那就让我孙女听听" ok (这里再表演个歌) 小燕:"奶奶你唱的太棒了,词写的也好.奶奶声音就想歌唱家." grandmother, you sing so good, the Lyrics also well . grandmother's voice like the singer.” 黑土:"这歌听起来还有点水准." this song is not bad 白云:"其实,奶奶在年轻时唱的就够歌唱家水平,只是那时没文化,眼睛瞎,走错了门,进了作家." Actually, when i was young ,i also well, but I do not have the knowledge ,so i have become a writer 黑土:"还作家,家里坐吧!" a writer?just a joke...