小妮子乖乖81
下面是我整理的2人幽默英语对话，希望对大家有帮助。
2人幽默英语对话1：
男: This seat empty?(这个座位是空的吧?)
女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.(是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。)【我立马走人】
男：Haven''t I seen you some place before?(我好像以前在什么地方见过你?)
女：Yes. That''s why I don''t go there anymore.(是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。)【我不想和你有任何交集】
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?(这个星期六你想跟我出去吗?)
女：Sorry. I''m having a headache this weekend.(抱歉。这个周末我头疼)【^_^头疼也是可以预约的】
男：Can I have your name?(我能知道你的名字吗?)
女：Why? Don''t you already have one? (为什么?你不是已经有一个了吗?)
男：I''m a photographer. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.(我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)
女：I''m a plastic surgeon. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.(我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)【长的真丑】
男：I think I could make you very happy.(我想我能让你非常快乐。)
女：Why? Are you leaving?(是吗?你是说你要离开?)【你能离开就是对我的仁慈】
2人幽默英语对话2：
男:Hello, I’m Ben. May I ask you some questions?
女:Sure.
男:What is your father’s name?
女:Happy!
男:Then, What is your mother’s name?
女:Smile!
男:Are you joking?
女:No! That’s my sister! I am Kidding. By the way, are you a census staff?
男:Of course not.
女:Go ahead.
男:OK. Your name is Kidding. Kidding, I'm going to start a
band. Will you join us?
女:Sure, Ben. I'd love to be in a band
男:OK, good. Which instrument do you play? I heard that you can play piano very well.
女:Piano? I don't play an instrument actually.
男:What are you good at?
女:I sing. I like music with great lyrics.
男: So do I. Who else do you think can join us?
女:Well, Dave is supposed to be a good one.
男:Really? What does he like?
女:He prefers quiet music.
男:Good. How about Harry? He plays the guitar, doesn’t he?
女:Yes, but Harry loves loud music such as disco .
男:That's OK. I often go to disco with my friends.
女:You mean we can play both loud music and quiet music?
男:Why not?
女:What kind of music style do you prefer, Ben?
男:Oh, I like music that I can dance to.
But we have one problem with our band
女:what is it?
男:I'm not a musician and I can't sing.
女:Are you joking?
男:No, that’s your sister’s name. Just now I was kidding.
女:Well, that makes sense?!
2人幽默英语对话3：
前台小姐：“you have what thing?”
你有什么事
老外：“can you speak english?” 你能说英语吗
前台小姐：“if i not speak english, i am speaking what?”如果我没在说英语，那我在说什么?
老外：“can anybody else speak english? ”有没有其他人会说
前台小姐：“you yourself look. all people are playing,no people have time, you can wait, you wait, you not wait, you go.”你自己看看，所有的人都在玩，没有人有时间，你可以等，你等，你不等，随你。
老外：“good heavens. anybody here can speak english?”上帝，这有人会说英语吗
前台小姐：“ shout what shout, quiet a little, you on earth have what thing.”叫什么叫，安静一点，你在这里有什么事
老外：“i want to speak to your head.”我想要跟你的上司讲。
前台小姐：“head not zai.you tomorrow come.”头不在，你明天来。
减肥大胃王
经典对话一： 男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？） 女：Actually I’d rather have the money.（不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。)经典对话二： 男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗？） 女：Why? Don’t you already have one? （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？）经典对话三： 男：I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。） 女：I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）经典对话四： 男：Is this seat empty?（直译：这个座位是空的吧？） 女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）经典对话五： 男：Haven’t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什么地方见过你？） 女：Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.（是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。）经典对话六： 男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗？） 女：Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。这个周末我头疼。）经典对话七： 男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐。） 女：Why? Are you leaving?（是吗？你是说你要离开？）
变猪猪911
This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbors pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and gives it a bath, blow dries its fur and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbors house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes. A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, Did you hear that Fluffy died? The guy stammers and says, Um...no...um...what happened?. The neighbor replies, We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There must be some real sick people out there! 一天一个人下班回家，发现他的狗嘴里叼着邻居的宠物兔。兔子死了，这个人很惊慌。他想邻居一定会责备他的。于是他打扫了现场，把兔子拖进屋，给它洗了个澡，吹干兔毛。再把兔子放回邻居家的兔笼，希望他们以为兔子是自然死亡的。几天后，邻居在外面问这个人，“你知道Fluffy死了吗？”这个人觉得很尴尬，假装清白说到：“嗯，呃，没有，怎么了？”邻居说，“我们有一天发现它死在笼子里了。但奇怪的是，在我们埋葬它的第二天，有人把它挖出来了，洗了个澡，又放回了它的笼子。这附近一定有一个很神经的人。 希望有帮助到你。
