英语笑话情景对话

第一篇Mike(M) Danny(C), Tommy(T)---classmates 地点:Scene----in the college dorm大学宿舍 Danny is playing a computer game on his laptop. Tommy is sleeping. Mike came back from a morning jogging. M: hi, Dan, what are u doing? D: I am playing war craft. M: Where is Tommy? D: Shiiiii! M:What? What's the matter? D: Don't u see? He is still sleeping. M: My goodness! I can't believe this! It’s almost nine. He got to get up now. Don't u remember we are required to make up a three people dialogue for tomorrow's oral class? D: Yes, I do. You wake up Tommy and I will play one more round of war craft. M: You'd better stop playing right now. We don't have much time to prepare this dialogue. Tommy! Tommy! Wake up! Time to wake up! T:five more minutes, please. Mike: No way, Jose. Time really flies.We still have a lot to do. Hurry up. T: (Tommy sits up in his bed) Can I lie down two more minutes, please, just two more minutes? when Danny finishes his game, I will be fine.(Yawns) I don't know why I am so so sleepy. (Tommy lies down again.) M: Guys!!! I am really angry now. Time waits for nobody. If you two don't stop what you are doing now, I will find somebody else to be my partners. D and T: all right. All right. We listen to u. M: That's more like it. We need will power. D and T: what is will power? M: Will power is trying hard not to do something that you really want to do. D: You mean like trying not to play war craft? Mike: right. T: you mean like trying not to stay up late? M: right. Danny turns off his computer. Tommy gets up and goes to the bathroom. Two minutes later the three maskeetters are working on their assignment. Danny: Mike, can I take a little break? Let me play one round and we will continue our work? Tommy: Mike, Can I lie down a minute? My back hurts. Mike: No! No! No! Let's finish our work first before we do anything. We need will power!!! Danny and Tommy: that's true. We need will power! We listen to you.第二篇TOM'S EXCUSE Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow". 汤姆的借口 老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？ 汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。" DID YOUR DAD... 2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!" and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!" 汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!" 吉姆说:"你妈妈能!" 附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点. 3)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!" and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!" 汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!" 吉姆说:"你妈妈能!" 附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点. 4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟." 5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?” “Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.” 一盒小火柴 妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗？” “是的，妈妈。”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。” 6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn. Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing! 开车 父亲：哎呀，我刚才违规右转弯了。 苏西：没事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。 7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered. “You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy.” 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆。”他回答说。“你真是一个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说. “再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” 8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?” “A kid bit me,”replied Ivan. “Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother. “I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.” 他的耳朵在我的衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。” 9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 两只鸟 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？ 学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。 老师：请说说看。 学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。第三篇（有点长）TOM'S EXCUSE Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow". 汤姆的借口 老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？ 汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。" DID YOUR DAD... 2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!" and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!" 汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!" 吉姆说:"你妈妈能!" 附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点. 3)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!" and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!" 汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!" 吉姆说:"你妈妈能!" 附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点. 4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟." 5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?” “Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.” 一盒小火柴 妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗？” “是的，妈妈。”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。” 6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn. Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing! 开车 父亲：哎呀，我刚才违规右转弯了。 苏西：没事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。 7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered. “You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy.” 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆。”他回答说。“你真是一个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说. “再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” 8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?” “A kid bit me,”replied Ivan. “Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother. “I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.” 他的耳朵在我的衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。” 9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 两只鸟 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？ 学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。 老师：请说说看。 学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

Place: Air’s villa.地点: 空气的别墅.Time: on the Mid – Autumn Festival.时间: 中秋节People: Air and Rich人物: Air 和RichRich is from American. He is an exchange student. Now he is studying at Beijing University. He majored in culture of China. His best friend, Air, a designer, works for a photo workshop. Today is Mid – Autumn Festival. So Air invited him to dinner at home.Rich是个美国人.他是个留学生.现在他在北京大学学习.他主修中国文化专业.他最好的朋友, Air ,一个设计师, 在一个摄影工作室工作. 今天是中秋节. 因此Air 邀请他去家做客.(Air listens to the music when she hears the doorbell.)(Air正听着音乐,这时候她听到门铃响了.)A: That must be Rich. (She goes to open the door.)那一定是Rich. (她去开门.)B: Hi, Air.你好啊, Air.A: Welcome. It’s so nice of you to come.欢迎啊,你能来真是太好了.B: Air, thanks for inviting me to the dinner. Today is Mid – Autumn Festival. I bought a bunch of roses for you. Beautiful flowers for beautiful girl.Air, 谢谢你邀请我来做客的. 今天是中秋节了. 我买了一束玫瑰花送给你,美丽的花给美丽的女孩.A: It’s nothing. Thank you for your roses.(she hands him a present.) A little present for you.不客气.谢谢你的玫瑰花 .(她递给他一个礼物) 给你准备的一个小礼物.B: (he unwraps the present to find four mooncakes in boxes.)Oh, it’s wonderful. Thanks. You shouldn’t have bought this.(他打开礼物发现在盒子里面有四块月饼) 噢,太棒了.谢谢啦! 你不该这样破费了.A: oh, my pleasure. It’s just a little present for you.哦,不客气啦. 仅仅是给你准备的小礼物而已.(They sit in the living room.)(他们坐在客厅里.)Can I get you some coffee or tea or a cold drink?你要点咖啡或茶水或冷饮吗?B: Thanks. Coffee is ok.谢谢,咖啡就可以了.A: Black coffee or white coffee?不加牛奶的咖啡还是加牛奶的咖啡？B: white coffee, please. Thank you.加牛奶的咖啡,谢谢.A: Ok 好的.(She goes to the kitchen to make coffee. A few minutes later, it’s done. She comes back.)(她去厨房做咖啡. 几分钟后,咖啡好了.她回来了.)Rich, here you are.Rich, 给你咖啡.B: Thank you, Air.谢谢你，Air.。A: You are welcome. Take your time. Maybe it is hot.不客气啊。慢慢来，或许咖啡有些烫。B: No problem. Air, you know, I’m interested in different culture. Chinese festival is very interesting, too. Would you mind telling me about the Mid – Autumn Festival?没关系的。Air.，你知道，我对不同的文化很感兴趣的。中国的节日也是非常有趣的。你能给我讲讲有关中秋节的东西吗？A: Ok, speaking of eating mooncakes, we have to talk about the story between Chang-Er and Hou Yi.好啊，谈到吃月饼，我们要谈到有关嫦娥和后羿的故事。B: Is that true?那故事是真实的吗？A: No. It’s not true. It’s only legend.不.不是真实的.它仅仅是个传说.B: Oh, I see. What is it?哦,我明白了，是什么呢?A: Long, long ago, the Earth once had 10 suns circling it.很久以前,地球曾经有10个太阳围绕她运转的.B: What? 10 suns circling it?什么? 10个太阳围绕她运转?A: Yes. But I told you it was only a legend. One day all 10 suns came out at once. The temperature of the earth went up quickly.是的.但是我告诉你了,它仅仅是个传说.一天所有的10个 太阳一次出现了. 地球的温度很快升高了.B: Wow. I guess many people 、plants and animals died. The high temperature must kill them.噢! 我想许多人,植物和动物都死掉了. 这种高温一定杀死他们了.A: Yes. It was a skillful archer who saved the earth.是的. 是一个熟练的弓箭手拯救了地球.B: Who is he?他是谁?A: Hou Yi.后羿.B: How did he save the earth? Is he a sprint?他如何拯救的地球的?他是一个神仙吗?A: No. He only shot down nine suns. Everything will be ok.不是,他仅仅射掉了九个太阳. 一切就平安了。B: He did a good job.他做的很好.A: Yes. As his reward, the Heavenly Queen Mother gave him a bottle of magic liquid.是的. 为了奖励他,王母娘娘给了他一瓶神奇的药水.B: What? What’s for?什么?它作什么的?A: If you had it, you would cure illnesses or make you live forever.假如你喝了神药,你可以治疗疾病或者可以使你永远活着,长生不老.B: oh, my god. Are you kidding?噢,我的天啊. 你在开玩笑吧?A: I’m serious. In many Chinese stories, people want to live longer. So they want to get something magic.我使认真的. 在中国的许多故事中, 人们都想活的长些,因此他们都想得到这样神奇的东西.B: I see. What did he do then?我明白了,那后羿接着做什么了呢?A: It’s pity that he paid no attention to her advice.很遗憾的是后羿没有听从王母娘娘的建议.B: You mean that he drank that all.你的意思他喝光了所有的药水.A: No. I mean, in front of the fame and fortune, he became a bad-tempered、selfish man.不是.我是说,在荣誉和财富面前,他变成一个坏脾气,自私的人了.B: Oh, I see. As the saying goes: Money is the root of all evil.哦.知道了，有句谚语说的好:钱是万恶之根.A: I couldn’t agree more. So his wife, Chang-Er could not bear to live with her husband. Then she stole his liquid, drank them and fled to the moon. This is the beautiful woman in the moon, the Moon Fairy.我太同意了. 因此他的妻子,嫦娥不能在忍受和他生活了.然后她偷了药水, 喝掉了，逃离到月球上去了. 这就是月亮上美丽女人的传说了.B: Interesting!有趣!A: Ok, this is the legend that I know. Maybe you will find another story like this. But I’m not for sure.是啊,这是我所知道的传说而已.或许你还能发现其他象这样的故事,但是我就不确定了.B: Thanks. 谢谢A: Oh, Rich. Would you like more coffee?哦, Rich. 你想添点咖啡吗?B: No. Thanks. Air, why not tell me the mooncakes itself? (He points to the cakes in the box.)不了,谢谢. Air,你为什么不给我讲讲月饼本身的东西的?(他指了下盒子里的月饼).A: It’s a neat idea. In China, it is important for us to have dinner together on Mid-Autumn Festival.好主意. 在中国,在中秋节这天,对于我们能在一起吃顿团圆饭是很重要的.B: Really? I find that many Chinese are busy with their work. When their parents ask them to have dinner, they always have many excuses. I mean they don’t want to come back.真的吗? 我发现许多中国人都忙于他们的工作.当他们叫他们去吃团圆饭的时候,他们总找借口. 我的意思是他们并不想回来.A: Yes. You are right. But many people think today is the time of reunion. It is said that the moon is at its brightest and fullest. It’s very interesting. This year the festival falls on 18 th September.是的,你是对的,但是许多人认为今天是团圆的时候. 据说今天的月亮是最亮最圆的. 非常有意思吧. 今年的中秋节在9月18日.B: Yes. Air. I hear that the seasonal round cakes have many different fillings. Is that true?是的. Air,我听说这种季节性的糕点有很多种馅的.是真的吗?A: Yes. It is true. Lotus seed paste, red bean paste and so on. Are you hungry? In fact, I’m hungry.是的,是真的.莲子馅或是红豆馅等等. 你饿了吗?实际上,我饿了.B: I’m hungry, too. I can’t wait to have them right now. Air, what is this? (He points to the cakes.) Ah,我也很饿了.我恨不得立刻就吃了.空气,这是什么?(他指了指糕点)A: Ah! It’s a surprise. I asked the bakery to stamp them with your name so that I’ll give you a big surprise.啊!那是个惊喜.我让糕点店在月饼上打上了你的名字,就想给你大惊喜的.B: Thanks谢谢.A: But I have to make some tea.但是我要先沏些茶水来.B: Why?为什么?A: Some doctors tell us that the mooncakes are loaded with calories, so it’s not for the fat people who are on a diet.一些医生告诉我们说,月饼所含的热量较大,因此不适合那些在减肥的肥胖人士的.B: Oh, what’s the best way to have them?哦,那最好的食用它们的方法是什么?A: Ok, the best way to wash down one of these cakes is with a cup of Chinese tea, especially Jasmine or Chrysanthemum tea. Tea aids the digestion.好的,吃这种糕点最好的是就着一杯中国茶,特别是茉莉花茶或是菊花茶,茶水可以帮助消化.B: Thank you very much. 非常感谢.A: Just for a few minutes. I make tea. 稍等片刻,我去泡茶了.B: Go ahead. 去吧(Air goes to the kitchen.) (Air去了厨房.). Truth about Santa Claus.Eddie: So how's everything going for Christmas?Jill: I've got all the presents I need, and my family is working together to get all the food ready. That's easy; but I have another problem to deal with.Eddie: What's that? Don't tell me you've still got Christmas cards to write; it usually takes my wife a month to write all of ours.Jill: No, I did that a long time ago. It's about telling my son the truth about Santa Claus.Eddie: He still doesn't know that Santa isn't real? How old is he, eight?Jill: Yes. He's never said anything so I never told him. But now that he's getting older…Eddie: You think it's better that he should be told?Jill: Yes, he's too old to believe in that type of things. And I'd rather tell him before the kids at school do.Eddie: That happened to my oldest girl. She became really upset when her classmates told her Santa wasn't real.Jill: I can understand. I was lucky with my oldest; she figured it out by herself and didn't tell my son.Eddie: Well, when you tell him, be gentle. It's hard for kids to findout something like that.Helpful Information：When American kids get into their teens, they begin to find out that Santa Claus doesn’t really exist. Some smarter kids even know that before then. They feel it’s nothing but a joke. Of course, some are devastated when they find it out. But most realize that the character “Santa Claus” is really a fictional character presented in a light-hearted way for the enjoyment of children. It doesn’t matter he’s real or not, the legend will remain.当美国小孩子进入十几岁以后，他们开始得知圣诞老人并不是真正地存在。一些聪明一些的小孩甚至在这之前就知道了。他们觉得这只不过是个笑话。当然一些人当他们知道此事时很伤心。但是大部分人意识到圣诞老人这个人物确实是虚构的角色，一个以轻松自在的方式给孩子们带来乐趣的角色。他是真与否，都无关紧要，传说还是会流传下去。【译文】——圣诞节准备得怎么样了？——要的礼物我都准备好了，而且我们全家正在一起准备食物。那很容易，但我还有一个难题要处理。——什么事？不要告诉我你还有许多圣诞卡要写；我妻子通常花一个月的时间写好我们所有的圣诞卡。——不是，圣诞卡我早就写完了。难题是怎样告诉我儿子有关圣诞老人的实情。——他还不知道圣诞老人不是真的？他多大，八岁？——是的，他从未说过什么，因此我也从未告诉过他。但现在他越来越大了……——你认为他应该知道实情比较好吗？——是的，他太大了，不应该相信那种事情。而且我宁愿在学校的孩子们告诉他以前告诉他。—— 以前我的大女儿也是这样。当她的同学告诉她圣诞老人不是真的时候，她变得很伤心。——我能理解。我幸运我的大女儿没有这种麻烦，她自己猜出圣诞老人是假的，但没有告诉我儿子。——唔，那你告诉他时，温和一点。对小孩来说，得知那样的事是很难承受的。

A:how do you do ??B: I do !!A:oh , OKB: I love you !!A: Where are you ??B: I'm OKA:bye-byeB:Let's GO!!-,-