英语笑话100字左右

Dentist:I'msorry,madam,butI'llhavetochargeyoutwenty-fivedollarsforpullingyourson'stooth.Mother:Twenty-fivedollars!ButIthoughtyouonlychargedfivedollarsforanextraction.Dentist:Iusuallydo.Butyoursonyelledsoloud,hescaredfourotherpatientsoutoftheoffice.昂贵的代价牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。母亲：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀？牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了。

Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth. Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction. Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office. 昂贵的代价 牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。 母亲：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀？ 牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了。

BUYING A HATA lady went to a hat shop to buy a hat. As she was very fussy, it took her a long time to pick on one. Already at the end of his patience the salesman was afraid that she might change her mind again so he tried to flatter her: "An excellent choice, madam. You look at least ten years younger with this hat on!" To his dismay, the lady took off her hat at once and said: "I don't want a hat that makes me look ten years older as soon as I take it off. Show me some more hats!"I'M NOT HAVING IT ALL CUT OFF.Miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. But this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. While Miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him."Hello, Miles," the manager said. "I see that you are having your hair cut in office time.""Yes, sir, I am," admitted Miles calmly. "You see, sir, it grows in office time.""Not all of it," said the manager at once. "Some of it grows in your own time.""Yes, sir, that's quite true." Answered Miles politely, "but I'm not having it all cut off."But the teacher criedThe six-year-old John was terribly spoiled. His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms. When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. "Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?" "Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"The difference between men and womenJock was driving up a steep, narrow, tortuous, Scottish mountain road. A woman was driving down the same road in the opposite direction. As they pass each other the woman leant out the window and shouted: "PIG!!" Jock immediately leant out his window and replied with "BITCH!!" They each continue on their way, but as Jock rounded the next corner he ran into a pig in the middle of the road....The ClockHillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. She asked, "What are all those clocks?" St Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move." "Oh," said Hillary, "whose clock is that?" "That's Mother Theresa's. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie." "Whose clock is that?" "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire life." "Where is Bill's clock?" Hillary asked. "Bill's clock is in Jesus' office. He is using it as a ceiling fan."One Engine LeftA 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result." Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late." At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"

首长：同志们好！士兵：首长好！首长拍一士兵的胸部说：这肌肉练得多好！士兵：报告首长，我是女兵．

英语笑话带翻译100字

英语笑话带翻译100字一：

Bill is a good student and an intelligent boy. He likes to study arithmetic, and he can do all of the arithmetic problems in his book easily.One day on his way to school Bill passed a fruit store. There was a sign in the window which said, Apple-Six for five cents. An idea came to Bill and he went into the store.How much are the apples? he asked the store.Six for five cents.But I don't want six apples.How many apples do you want?It is not a question of how many apples I want. It is a problem in arithmetic.What do you mean by a problem in arithmetic? asked the man.Well, if six apples are wroth five cents, then five apples are worth four cents, four apples are worth three cents, three apples are worth rwo cents, two apples are worth one cent and one apple is worth nothing. I only want one apple, and if one apple is worth nothing then it is not necessary for me to pay you.Bill picked out a good apple, began to eat it, and walked happily out of the store. The man looked at the young boy with such surprise that he could not say a word.

比尔是一个好学生，也是个聪明的孩子。他喜欢学数学，课本上所有的数学问题他都能不费劲地解答。有一天，在上学路上，比尔经过一家水果店。该店窗户上有个招牌上写着：苹果--五美分六个。比尔脑筋一转，进了店门。苹果怎么卖?五美分六个。但我不想要六个。你想要几个?这不是我想要几个的问题。这是个数学问题。数学问题?你说这话是什么意思?你看，如果六个苹果五美分，那么五个苹果四美分，四个苹果三美分，三个苹果二美分，二个苹果一美分，一个苹果就不要钱。我只要一个苹果，如果一个苹果一分钱也不要的话，那我也就没必要给你钱了。比尔拣了一个好苹果，开始吃了起来，然后兴高采烈地迈出了店门。那个售货员吃惊地望着这个小男孩，一句话也说不出来。

英语笑话带翻译100字二：

On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"

在一个乡村路上，一警察让这个农民靠边停车，说：“先生，你意识到你的妻子在几公里前从车上掉下去了吗?”农民回答说：“感谢上帝，我还以为我聋了呢!”

英语笑话带翻译100字三：

A young couple was becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him.Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned.""You talked! You talked!" shouted his mother. "I'm so happy! But why has it taken this long.""Well, up till now," said the boy, "things have been okay."

一对年轻的'夫妇对于他们四岁的儿子仍然不会说话这件事非常着急。他们带他去看专家，但是医生们找不出任何不正常的地方。之后有一天早上，这个男孩突然说道：“妈妈，面包拷糊了。”“你说话了!你说话了!”他的妈妈嚷道。“我真高兴!但是为什么要我们等这么长的时间呢?”“嗯，直到现在，”男孩说，“每件事都很正常啊。”

A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in coach.The blonde replies, "I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blonde problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in coach.Again, the blonde replies, "I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blonde with the co-pilot. The co-pilot says that he has a blonde girlfriend, and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something into the blonde's ear.She immediately gets up, says, "Thank you so much," hugs the co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the coach section. The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he had said to the woman.He replies, "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to LA."