阿满思密达
《应聘》2个考官，3个应聘者（某公司招聘推销主管）应聘者：龙民：一个农业养殖户，泰有才：一个没有社会背景的高才生，贞有权：一个官家子弟。泰有才（背这手，度着步子，抬着头思索状）：岁月不留人，时间飞逝过，如今的市场，我也来竞争贞有权（西装革履，大步走上）：根据本人的调查，在这个竞争日益激烈的市场，要求一份好的工作的确很难，同志们呐，为了生存我也来此应聘了。第一个考官说：你们都是来应聘的，我们公司要的是推销方面的人才，要么有学历，要么有经验你们都是有学历的人。。（突然从门外闯近来一个破烂衣服的人，跑得太急差点摔倒）闯近来的农民边挠头边憨厚的说：大姐，对不起，俺迟到了（副考官怒火直冒）：谁是你大姐`？本姑娘才一支花的年龄！！诶？怎么会突然冒出这么个人出`！（龙民惊讶的看着考官说）：大姐？俺村没一支一支的花只有一大把一大把的`！（做夸张的，用抱的姿势来形容花多）（副考官捏紧拳头强忍怒火的样子说）：好了。现在开始自我介绍，把你们的姓名，住址，年龄，民族，生日，性别，婚姻状况，学历。。。。报上来（3个应聘者作惊讶状）（主考官笑笑说）：不用这么多，把你们的名字和学历经验报上来就行贞有权：这才差不多，否则我还以为到派出所了`！泰有才：我叫泰有才，泰国的泰，本人硕士毕业，经过学校文化的熏陶，经过社会的磨砺，经过人生的考验，我来到了贵公司应聘。我将把我的知识为公司推销，用我的文化来推销，把世界观，价值观，荣辱观带到公司的整体利益中来。。。。副考官：停停停，罗嗦，下一个！（泰有才扶了扶眼镜，把头一昂退了退）贞有权：我叫贞有权，贞德的贞。我毕业于那个什么h大，由于社会的竞争，恩，是吧，我来到了这个公司，然后呢，我想竟聘这个职位，我的话说完了，谢谢各位（中间考官动作自己加）龙民：俺叫龙民，一条龙的龙（全场暴笑）俺别的没有，就是经验丰富，具体有啥经验请听下回分解。贞有权：到底是龙民，名字都取得这么农民主考官:好了好了好了，开始提问副考官：请问如果有一个漂亮的姑娘出现在你面前你要怎么推销自己让她接受你？龙民：考官，能不能不要？俺已经有媳妇了，俺怕俺媳妇不让俺睡床。（愤怒）副考官：假设，假设懂吗`？！！龙民：假设，哦。泰有才：哎，真为没知识的人感到悲哀。泰有才：我会朗诵一首很有情调的词，让她臣服在我的文采之中贞有权：我回叫所有交警在那位姑娘出现的地方大声喊：美丽的姑娘：贞有权，真爱你龙民：俺虽然还是怕但是俺也要把握机会，俺会说：大妹子，俺会做饭，俺会洗衣，俺会种地，俺还会带娃，就是生不了娃，你帮俺生个胖娃，成不？副考官：泰有才，你认为一首诗可以打动那位姑娘`？如果真那样，那每天都会有很多老太太爱上你，因为你每天都说了很多话。你现在就去朗诵一首诗看能不能让对面（卖臭干子）{这一句可以用长沙话}的大妈接受你副考官：贞有权，你说你可以叫所有的交警帮你，那好，你先一个人去街上找个姑娘大声说你爱她，看她会不会说你神经病！副考官：龙民，哎，就你那熊样还开口就想别人姑娘给你生个娃啊？你以为别人是你家养的猪啊` 想生就生副考官：既然是推销自己就应该把对方当做堡垒攻下。龙民：考官，现在是和平年代，哪来什么堡垒啊，要是说现在要打鬼子的堡垒俺村的壮丁都早就操起锄头上了，还轮得上俺吗？副考官：哎，你这个人啊，这还是假设，假设！！诶，我就纳闷了，龙民你凭什么进的我们这应聘的？龙民：俺有经验啊（拍拍胸脯，昂起头，作骄傲状）副考官：你有经验？那你怎么说得驴头不对马嘴的？龙民（作委屈状）：哪有，俺真的有经验，你看啊，俺在家里卖过鸡，俺在村里卖过猪，俺在乡里卖过牛，又在城里卖过血，这不都是经验嘛,噢，对了当年我卖牛的时候还有个20出头的小伙子对我说大叔你怎么敢在大马路上卖牛啊，你真是牛a与牛c中间那个，我就纳闷那是什么意思，到后来被城管逮了城管对俺说了句你真牛b。俺到现在还纳闷，怎么俺买个牛咋就成牛abc了？（副考官低下头沉默了一会）然后抬起头说：俺觉得你可以回家再去卖血得了龙民：考官，你说的不对，俺是在城里卖的血不是在家，俺家没那设备呢副考官：哎`！（摇摇头）主考官：那现在你们认真说说觉得该怎么推销自己才能让那姑娘接受自己呢？龙民：俺觉得。。。副考官：停，你不准说话，跟我蹲一边去（龙民可怜巴巴的走到台边）贞有权：我觉得这问题有问题副考官：废话，没问题它能叫问题吗？泰有才：我觉得这个问题有很大的探讨价值，如果允许我给我的导师打个电话问问考官们：你们。。。。主考官：为什么你们就觉得这个问题就那么难呢？龙民，泰有才，贞有权，：这问题不好{龙民从台边站了起来}副考官恶狠狠的说：龙民谁叫你起来了，继续回去蹲好龙民灰溜溜的蹲了下去，双手抱头副考官：这问题怎么就不好了？（龙民又站了起来并走到台前）龙民说：那考官你愿意把自己卖了吗？副考官：谁叫你把自己卖了啊？龙民说：推销自己不就等于卖了自己吗？考官你愿意把自己卖了吗？（考官怒，另外2位应聘者大笑）主考官:你觉得你现在不像是商品吗？生活在这个竞争激烈的环境中，有学历的太多，有背景的也多。有经验的更多，如果你不能把自己很好的推销出去你觉得会有公司接受你吗？刚考官只是打个比方，其实那女孩就是你正在寻找的工作，你不能让那姑娘接受你就等于没办法让你们寻找中的公司接受你，最终你们还是一无所有。希望你能够明白。其实你们进来我们公司应聘之前我们就对你们做过详细的调查。我们对你们已经有所了解，我们公司也正需要像你们这样的人才，泰有才：学历深厚，能为公司在说服顾客方面做很大贡献。贞有权，遇事冷静，很会使用个人人际关系来达到推销目的。龙民，虽然你土了点知识少了点，我相信大部分老板还是喜欢和老实人做生意的，起码会很诚实。所以你们3个我们暂时录用，试用期2个月。（龙民，泰有才，贞有权惊讶）泰有才：对不起，考官，我觉得这样太不公平而且我相信我的学识，所以我希望4位考官能够再给我们一个机会，我们要让4位心服口服的录用我们 主考官：很好，贞有权呢？贞有权：我从来不知道服输是怎么写的，我同意泰有才说的（主考官笑笑）：恩（4位考官和前2位应聘这用怀疑的眼神看着龙民）（龙民害怕的拱了拱手）：俺媳妇在俺出门时告诉俺，出来后要多和城里人学，俺告诉你们俺很听俺媳妇的话的，所以俺跟随前面2位城里大学生脚步走。（所有人都笑了）主考官：那么明天同一时刻我们再次考察3位。（掌声）
馒头笑开了花
小红帽 英文剧本 Little Red Riding Hood 第一场：Little Red Riding Hood家 Mum： (妈妈拿着一个篮子，把桌子上的水果放在篮子里） Little Red Riding Hood:(唱着歌，欢快地跑进来）Hi,mummy, what are you doing? Mum： （一边把水果放在篮子里，心事重重地说）Grandma is ill. Here are some apples and bananas for Grandma. Take them to Grandma. Little Red Riding Hood：（边提起篮子，边点头说）Ok! Mum： （亲切地看着Little Red Riding Hood说） Be good. Be careful. Little Red Riding Hood： Yes ,mummy．Goodbye, mummy. Mum： Bye-bye. Darling. 第二场：在路上 （一阵轻快的音乐由远而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎着篮子蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁) Little Red Riding Hood： Wow！Flowers, how beautiful! （放下篮子采花）One flower ,two flowers, three flowers. Wolf：（随着一阵低沉的音乐，Wolf大步地走上台）I am wolf. I am hungry. (做找东西状,东张西望) Here is a little red riding hood. Hi! Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going? (做狡猾的样子和Little Red Riding Hood打招呼) Little Red Riding Hood：(手摸辫子，天真地回答)To Grandma’s．Grandma is ill. Wolf：（自言自语）I' ll eat Grandma. But……（对Little Red Riding Hood说）Hey, look! 6 little baby ducks. Little Red Riding Hood：(和6只鸭子随着音乐翩翩起舞) Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大树后） Little Red Riding Hood：（停止跳舞）Hello! Baby ducks，how are you? Six Ducks：We’ re fine．Thank you． Where are you going? Little Red Riding Hood：To Grandma’s．Oh, I must go, bye. Six Ducks：Goodbye． 第三场：Grandma家 Grandma： （喘着气出场，颤颤悠悠地走到床前，吃力地坐到床边，喘了几口，打几个哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。） Wolf：（从树后出来，边走边说）I am very hungry now. (做找寻的样子)Where is Grandma’ s house? (高兴地对观众说)Aha , it’s here.(敲门)Bang, Bang, Bang． Grandma： Who is it？ Wolf：（装出Little Red Riding Hood的声音，一边得意地摇动尾巴，一边说）It’s me. Little Red Riding Hood. Grandma： (边说边起床) Come in, come in. Wolf：(得意洋洋地走到床边) Grandma , I’ll eat you. Grandma： （惊慌失措地抓紧衣服，瞪着眼睛，边叫迫从床上滚到地上） 灰狼把外婆吞到了肚子里。 Wolf：（得意地拍拍肚子，翘起大拇指）Yummy！I’ll sleep. Little Red Riding Hood：(高兴地敲门)Grandma．Grandma． Wolf：(装扮成Grandma的声音) Who is it？ Little Red Riding Hood：It’s me。Little Red Riding Hood. What a strange noise! Wolf：Come in， Come in. Little Red Riding Hood：(蹦跳着进来，把篮子放在桌子上，走到床前一看，跳回几步)Oh! What are big ears! Wolf：I can listen to your sweet voice. Little Red Riding Hood：Wow! What a big eyes! Wolf：I can see you pretty face. Little Red Riding Hood：Oh! What a big hand. Wolf：I can hug you. Little Red Riding Hood：（跪在床前，拉起Wolf的手，边摸边说）Look! What a big hands? Wolf：(从床上跳起来说)I can eat you! Little Red Riding Hood：(拼命地跑)Oh！No! No! Wolf：（追到Little Red Riding Hood，做吃状，拍拍肚子说）It’s delicious. I still sleep. I like sleeping. Hunter： (一边拿着枪，一边做寻找状出场)Where’s the wolf? Look! A door．(推门)The wolf is sleeping. Wolf：(发出呼呼的响声) Hunter： (端起枪想打，又放下)What a big stomach! (摸摸Wolf的肚子)Grandma and Little Red Riding Hood are inside .I must be hurry．(从桌子上拿起剪刀，举起) Look! Scissors. (做剪Wolf的肚子)Cut, cut, cut. Little Red Riding Hood/Grandma：Thank you． Hunter： Grandma ,give me some needles and thread． Little Riding Hood ,Give me some stones． Grandma： (从桌子上拿来针线) Little Red Riding Hood：(搬来几个石头)One, two, three. Hunter： (把小石头装进Wolf的衣服里) Grandma： I'll thread it. Hunter： (拿起枪)Woke up! Wolf：(起床，两手托着大肚子)My stomach is so heavy. Hunter： You big bad wolf, raise your arms! Wolf：(边跑边说) Help! Don’t shot me! Hunter： （开枪）Bang, bang! Wolf： (应声倒下) Hunter： The bad wolf is dead． Little Red Riding Hood和Grandma：Yeah! Thank you． Little Red Riding Hood、Grandma、Hunter（一起鞠躬）: Thank you
V大米爸爸V
英语话剧剧本推荐如下：
剧本名字The Bus。
A Story about Love and Stinky Feet。
（5-6人英语剧本，公交车上的故事，适合大学生活，关于爱和臭脚的故事。）
Female student A:,Female student B,Female student C,Boy A: Wang Chiang-rui
Boy B,Old woman。
Scene One：
Three female students are chatting on a bus. Because all the seats are taken, they are standing, holding onto some plastic rings hanging down from the bus roof. Two boys are sleeping in their seats.
Then the bus arrives at a stop and an old woman gets on. She looks at the seats. Seeing no empty seats, she stands next to a female student and holds onto a plastic ring.
Old woman: There're no empty seats. I guess I'll have to stand.
(The female students find the old woman not having a seat. They want to help her find one to sit in.)
Female student A: We should find a seat for her.
Female student B: Right. Those two bad boys did not give their seats to her.
(The two boys continue to sleep.)
Female student C: We should find a seat for her.
Female students A & B: Yes.
(Female student A goes to Boy A and taps on his shoulder.)
Female Student A: Excuse me, could you give your seat to that old lady?
(Boy A stretches and continues to sleep. Female students A and B look at each other. Female student B taps on Boy A's shoulder.)
Female Student B: Hey! Can you give your seat to that old lady?
Boy A: (wakes up) I lined up for twenty hours yesterday to buy A-Mei's new album. I'm very tired. I'm sorry I can't give my seat to the old lady. (continues to sleep)
Female student C: What should we do?
Female student B: Let's ask the other boy.
Boy B: (gets up suddenly) Ah!
All: (startled)Ah!
Female student B: What happened?
Female student C: Why did you scream?
Boy B: I had a nightmare. It was terrible.
Female student B: Excuse me, can you give your seat to that old lady?
(Boy B falls asleep.)
Female student A: Hello! Is it OK for you to make room for that old lady?
Boy B: Let me sleep, please. I read an English novel all night last night and didn't get any sleep. Can you let me sleep for a while?
Female student A: Well, we've tried.
Female student B: The young man is really brash.
Old woman: Thank you, young ladies! I'm OK! Don't think I'm an old woman. I am healthy. (makes a few kicks like a young man)
Female student C: Maybe we worry too much. The old lady's very healthy.
(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly and the old woman falls over. It makes Boy A wake up.)
Boy A: Oh! Are you OK?
Old woman: Oh! Oh! My waist!
Boy A: You can take my seat. (helps the old woman to the seat)
Female student C: Hmm. He just got his conscience.
Female student A: Yeah! I was just about to say they got no manners.
Female student B: Yeah. I thought he was a cold-blooded animal.
Boy A: Hey! Watch your own manners. I've given her my seat. I'm really very tired.
(At this time Boy B is embarrassed. He dares not continue to sleep.)
Old woman: Thank you, young man. I'm old and useless.
Boy B: Don't say that. If I'd given you my seat earlier, the accident wouldn't have happened.
(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again. Boy A falls down.)
Scene Two：
(The Old woman and Boy B sit in the seats. Boy A is standing behind the three girls and drowsing. The three girls continue to chat. Boy A is drowsing carelessly and bumps into Female student A's body.)
Female student A: Oh! Who touched me? (turns her head around and sees
Boy A standing behind her) It's you, right?
Boy A: What?
Female student B: Why? You did it intentionally, didn't you?
Boy A: Wait. I didn't do anything.
Female student C: You touched her intentionally, right?
Boy A: Hey, I'm not that kind of person. (looks at Boy B) Hey… Is it you?
Boy B: (confused and shakes his head) Not me. I was sleeping.
(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again. Boy A bumps into Female student A again.)
Female student A: (angry) Still saying it wasn't you? You pig!
Boy A: I didn't mean it.
Old woman: Nowadays boys are not the same as those in the past. Boys in the past were all very polite. Now boys are reckless.
Female student C: Now what do you have to say? Apologize to her. Hurry!
Boy A: Alright! Alright! (to female student A) I'm sorry.
(Female student A ignores him and continues to chat with the other two girls.)
Boy A: It's not my day today.
Boy B: Gentlemen don't fight with women. And she's no nice woman.
Old woman: Nowadays girls don't have good temper. Time really changed.
Boy B: Older people know more than us.
Old woman: When I was a young student, I got love letters from many men every day. For the sake of manners, I went out with different men every day.
(Boys A and B don't know what to say. Suddenly the bus driver hits the brake. The old woman bumps into Female student C's hips.)
Female student C: (surprised) You.....
(The old woman looks at Female student C and says nothing.)
Old woman: You have nice hips.
Female student B: I can't believe the old woman is capable of sexual harassment.
Female student C: Maybe nowadays old people are not the same as those in the past.
Female student A: Maybe after losing her husband, she feels lonely.
Female student B: Ah! Here we are. Let's get off.
Female student C: We'd better stay away from those strange people.
(Female students get off the bus.)
Boy B: Who are those strange people? They're real strange. (helps the old woman
up) Are you O.K.? Those young girls have no sympathy.
Old woman: (feels Boy B's hand) You also have a pair of very fine hands.
Boy B: (startled) What?
Boy A: This old woman is also very strange.
Boy B: Let's go!
Old woman: Don't be shy, young man. I have held such kind of hand for a long time.
(Boy B frees himself from the old woman's hand and gets off.)
Old woman: (looks at Boy A) You're nice, too.
Boy A: Hmm, good-bye. (gets off)
狂狼行天下
A Play: Buying Medicine By Liu Qinglin Characters: X ------ Xiao Fei S ------- Shopkeeper D- ---- Doctor Li O- -----Others ( O1, O2 O3 -----) Ws ------ Wounded soldiers ( W1, W2,W3 -----) H -----He zhenwu, a Japanese spy W- ---- Woman J ------ Japanese Scene1 ( At an old temple lie some wounded soldiers. D is examining their wounds.) D: Good evening, everyone. Ws: ( Together) Good evening, Dr Li. D: Hello, let me examine you. W1: I’m all right. There’s no need to do so. ( W1 is about to fall down.) D: (Helps him up) Your leg discloses you! Let me have a look. Ah, it’s going worse. Let me put some medicine on you. W1: No, it isn’t necessary. There is little medicine left. Go to look after that young man. He has a high fever. He seems fainted. D: ( Takes W2’s temperature. ) So he has! He needs an injection but we have none. Feed him these last three pills with warm water. What else can I do? There’s no medicine left. W3: Don’t worry, Doctor. I am young and strong. I am all tight now. I’ll go and buy some medicine. D: No, you are not all right. Your leg will bleed when you move. Lie down and have a good rest. W4: So you can let me go . I can run very fast. The enemy cannot catch me. ( Just then, Xiao Fei comes in.) X: Be quiet everybody. You must have a good rest. This is order, you know. W1: But there’s no medicine left. X: That’s why I’m here. I’ve come to fetch the list . I’ll go to town to buy medicine. D: Have you got any money? X: No. D: ( Takes off her gold ring.) Take this with you. Perhaps you can change it for medicine. X: No, I can’t take it , because it is given to you by your future husband who gave up his life to the revolution a few days ago. It mustn’t go to other people’s hands. D: But how can you get the medicine without money? X: Don’t worry. I’ll manage. Goodbye. D and Ws: Be careful! Scene2 ( Music) ( Xiao is walking on the way like a businessman. He sings as he goes. When he Passes a corn field, he sees He Zhenwu the Japanese spy robbing a woman) W: Help! Help! H: You needn’t cry. There’s nobody else here. Let me marry you and make yourself noble. W: You Japanese spy! No one will marry you. H: Otherwise I’ll kill you! ( He raises his gun and the woman catches hold of his wrist . They start a fight. Finally, H knocks W down. Just then X arrives) X: Stop! Don’t bully Chinese woman! H: It’s none of your business! Go away. X: I would rather stop you. ( H raises his gun towards X. X kicks it away. They begin a fight. W puts on his clothes W and begins to pull H’s leg. X knocks H down) X: (To W) Quick! Help me tie him up. W: You are bleeding. Let me do first aid. X: It doesn’t matter. Pull him into the corn fields. H: Please spare my life. I won’t do that again ( W takes up the gun and is about to shoot.) X: Don’t do that. If the Japanese hear the shot, they’ll come. H: Thank you, sir. But please let me go. X: Let you go? You’ll continue to kill and bully Chinese! ( X puts his socks into H’s mouth.) Wait here . And lend me your pass and bike. Don’t try to run away. (They go down.) Scene 3 (Music) (X is riding a bike toward town. He sings as he goes along) J1 and J2: Stop! Show me your pass. X: Here you are! J1 & J2: ( After reading it.) Hi! Salute. ( They Salute.) ( X goes through the town gate and after some time stops at a drug shop and knocks at the door.) S: Who’s it? X: It’s me, a customer. S: (To O1) Go to answer the door. O1: come in, please. You are the only customer for these days. S: What can I do far you? X: ( Hands him the pass.) We Japanese assistant soldier need some medicine. Here is the list. S: Oh, so much medicine! Do you have enough money? X: We’ll send you the money in a few days’ time. Quick, this is order. ( Shows him his gun.) S: All right! All right! S: ( To O1) Quick! Give him the medicine O1: All right . ( Hands it to X.) Here you are. X: I have to go now. Bye-bye. S: ( To O1) Quick! Close the door. O1: All right. ( He closes it.) S: ( Makes a telephone call.) Hi! This is No1 Medicine Shop. Just now, a man came in and took a lot of medicine away. Perhaps he belongs to the Eighth Route Army . Stop him, quick! ( X rides his bike fast. Soon he arrives at the gate, J1 is receiving a phone call. J2 signs him to stop. X rides towards him and knocks him out. J1 begins to short at him. Soon he arrives at a bridge, where two soldiers stand . X kills them with two shots. A crowd of soldiers rush towards him. He run into the corn field. H has just frees himself and is about to leave.) J3: Oh, here he is! js: (Together) Don’t move! Hands up! H: I’m sorry. I’m not Eighth ----- J4: Tie him up. ( They tie him up and beat him.) H: Ouch! I belong to Japanese army. J5: Don’t listen to him. He’s lying. Put him in our car. Let’s go. (They go down.) X: (X goes through the corn field and comes up to a street. He meets some Japanese and fights them. He kills some of them and enters a lane. Finally he arrives at the temple. D and Ws come to welcome him) D: Here comes our hero. Ws: Congratulations. X: Thank you, everybody. ( The end )
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