linalingxj
One day,a little monkey is playing by the well. 一天，有只小猴子在井边玩儿。 He looks in the well and shouts : 它往井里一瞧，高喊道： “Oh!My god!The moon has fallen into the well!” “噢！我的天！月亮掉到井里头啦！” An older monkeys runs over, takes a look,and says, 一只大猴子跑来一看，说， “Goodness me!The moon is really in the water!” “糟啦！月亮掉在井里头啦！” And olderly monkey comes over. 老猴子也跑过来。 He is very surprised as well and cries out: 他也非常惊奇，喊道： “The moon is in the well.” “糟了，月亮掉在井里头了！” A group of monkeys run over to the well . 一群猴子跑到井边来， They look at the moon in the well and shout: 他们看到井里的月亮，喊道： “The moon did fall into the well!Come on!Let’get it out!” “月亮掉在井里头啦！快来！让我们把它捞起来！” Then,the oldest monkey hangs on the tree up side down ,with his feet on the branch . 然后，老猴子倒挂在大树上， And he pulls the next monkey’s feet with his hands. 拉住大猴子的脚， All the other monkeys follow his suit, 其他的猴子一个个跟着， And they join each other one by one down to the moon in the well. 它们一只连着一只直到井里。 Just before they reach the moon,the oldest monkey raises his head and happens to see the moon in the sky, 正好他们摸到月亮的时候，老猴子抬头发现月亮挂在天上呢 He yells excitedly “Don’t be so foolish!The moon is still in the sky!” 它兴奋地大叫：“别蠢了！月亮还好好地挂在天上呢！”
lovexuzheng8
The waiter left and returned quickly.“I'm sorry, sir，but we've just run out of a dinosaur.”
服务员离开了，又很快回来了。“对不起，先生，我们的恐龙菜刚卖完。”
" What?" said the diner with feigned disappointment."No dinosaur?"
“什么?”顾客气愤地说:“没有恐龙?”
The waiter lowered his voice. "Well，we do have some left，“he whispered confidentially,"...but it's not very fresh and I won't serve it!”
那服务员低声地说:“我们的确还剩一些。”他显得作常自信的样子。“但恐龙肉有点儿不太鲜了，所以我们还是不给您上这道菜的好。”
A blond decides to go ice fishing one day. She takes her stool and her fishing pole onto the ice, and cuts a big hole. Then a voice says:
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
一个金发外国人决定要去冰上钓鱼。她拿上她的工具和钓鱼竿去了冰上，并凿出了一个大洞。然后听见一个声音说：
"冰～下～面～没～有～鱼!"
Perplexed, the blond moves her stool 100 feet, sits down again and goes to work cutting another hole. Again, the voice said:
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
这个外国人很疑惑，把她的工具挪动了100尺，再次坐下来，准备再凿一个洞的`时候。再一次地，有个声音说：
"冰～下～面～没～有～鱼!"
Clearly flustered, she moves the stool to one last spot, sits down, and picks up her auger. Again, the voice boomed:
"FOR THE LAST TIME, THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
姑娘有点慌了，她将工具挪到最后这个点上，坐下来，拿起了她的螺丝钻。再一次地，声音响起：
“最～后～说～一～次!冰～下～面～没～有～鱼!”
Finally, she can't take it. She cries out, "God, is that you?"
她终于承受不住了，叫了出来，“是你吗?神?”
"NO, I'M THE OWNER OF THIS HOCKEY RINK"
“不，我是这个曲棍球冰场的主人。”
Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
两个苏格兰修女刚刚坐船来到美国，其中一个修女对另外一个说，“我听说这个国家的人们是吃狗肉的。”
"Odd," her companion replied, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
“真奇怪”，她的同伴回答道，“不过如果我们也生活在美国，我们可能会做一样的事情啊。”
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it.
这位年长修女认真地点了点头，指向了一个热狗摊，她们俩一同走了过去。
"Two dogs, please," said one.
“两只狗，谢谢。”一位说。
The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs.'
摊贩主很开心，他把两个热狗都包了起来。两位修女飞快地到一个长凳上坐下，打开了她们的“狗”。
The mother superior was first to open hers, then, stared at it for a moment, leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"
年长的修女先打开了她的，然后，仔细地凝视了一会，向另外一位修女靠了过去，小心地耳语道“你拿到哪个部分了?”
夭爻溔訞濘綸
英语 故事 会出现学生认识或是不认识的单词，而这个单词的重复不断出现，会加深同学们对单词的记忆。这种记忆不是死记硬背，而是在潜移默化中，让学生记住。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。
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英语幽默小故事1
Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground
An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.
Why not?
If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
别捡地上的钱
一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。
“为什么不捡?”
“假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。”
“该发明的都已经被发明出来了。”
英语幽默小故事2
The Less You Know, the More Money You Make
Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.
Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have
Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.
Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.
知识越少挣钱越多
定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。
下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明：
假设一：知识就是力量(Power)。
假设二：时间就是金钱。
每个工程师都知道：功率(Power)= 。既然知识=力量，时间=金钱，我们有：知识= 。求解金钱表达式，我们得到：金钱= 。
因此，当知识趋于零时，无论你做了多少功，金钱趋于无穷大。
结论：知识越少，你挣得的金钱就越多。
英语幽默小故事3
They Should Be Playing at Night
A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over to them. He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, "Oh no, all my life I've preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about the blind!" The therapist says, "I've been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on me!" The economist says, "Oh no! They should be playing at night."
他们本该在晚上打球
神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢，这让三人大为恼火。他们开始抱怨，前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。他 自我介绍 说是前面那组球手们的助手，因为那组球手都是盲人。助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。神父听后忙说：“哦，不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活，而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说：“我一生的信条是帮助别人，可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人，我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说：“哦，别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。”
英语幽默小故事4
A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.“Flight 354，“said the controller，"contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.“The request was repeated several times with no reply from the pilot.Finally，in exasperation the controller raised his voice."Flight 354，Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.”The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt compliance.
一名飞行员在中西部上空听到地面指挥塔的指挥员在呼叫一民航调整其正常接收频率。"354航班，”指挥塔在呼叫，“请与堪萨斯市中心135.5频率联系。”这一指令重复了几次之后，竟没得到任何回音。最后，指挥塔的指挥员显然是被激怒了，他大声地锐:"354航班，西蒙说速与135. 5预率联系。”这一声显然奏效，只听对方慌忙地做了回答并迅速服从了指挥。”
英语幽默小故事5
Even My Driver Can Answer that Question
A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highly technical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture.
The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."
甚至我的司机都能回答那个问题
一位著名的博弈论专家一获得克拉克奖便开始在东北部各个知名大学展开一系列讲座。为了完成这项任务，他租了一辆车并雇了一名司机载着他到处赶场。没有别的事可做的司机就坐在课堂里听专家那科技含量颇高的讲座。几场讲座下来，司机对这位经济学家说：“我听了这么多次你的讲座，我觉得我自己也能讲了。”经济学家觉得这个想法很有趣，于是决定下次作讲座时他们两个互换位置。
司机完美无瑕地完成了演讲。可是当讲座结束后，听众中有人问了他一个技术含量相当高的问题，他不知如何开口回答。司机沉思了一会，回答道：“这个问题太简单了，连我的司机都能回答。”
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