中式英语搞笑剧本

我的手头上，现在只有这出：貂婵，虽然要求人数不多，最多七至八人，但我觉得写得还不错，不象现在有一些剧本，全是充斥着中式英语，看得都让人着急。这出剧，很经典，但也有搞笑的部分，还不错，如果发挥好的话，可以演出效果的。(如果有些词觉得有些太难，如：许配 betroth这样的词，可以试着换些简单词） Have a try!A Story of Affinity, Love, and FaithfulnessCHARACTERS OF THE PLAYDiao-chan貂婵 Adopted daughter of Wang-yun, a very beautiful lady.Wang-yun王允 Prime Minister of Han Dynasty, a mercy official.Lyu-bu吕布 Adopted son of Dong-zhou, one of the greatest fighters during the time.Dong-zhou董卓 A cruel, brutal, and powerful courtier controlling the royal government.Soldier Introducer- Storyteller- (In front of the Curtain)PreparingIntroducer[五位演员一起登场，由一位讲解员进行介绍.]Hello, everybody here. This is a story about Diao-chan. Now I want to introduce all the characters for you. The first role is Diao-chan, the female hero in this play. This is Wang-yun, Diao-chan’s father. And our lovely soldier.A brutish man, Dong-zhuo. The last is the greatest fighterin our story, Lyu-bu, General Lyu.Now let’s begin our story.[演员、讲解员回到幕后](Curtain up)[幕拉开，灯光不开，同时我们的Storyteller 开始道来]Storyteller: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls，now come along and enjoy my show. Today I’m going to tell you a story-- A story about Diao-chan, a marvelous beauty; a story about love; a story about hate, and a story about loyalty and betrayal.[说到这里，幕已全开。然后后灯打开，从观众角度来看可以看到黑色的人影]Some 1500 years ago, it was the last regime of the Han Dynasty. At a quiet late midnight, Wang-yun, the Prime Minister of the time, was worrying about the future of his country.Act 1地点：王允家人物：王允，貂禅SCENE 前灯打开，观众角度可以看到舞台上的一切。音乐响起，伴随着《三国演义》的主题歌，王允在来回踱着步哀叹。Wang-yun: 心理独白 Now those ambitious courtiers started to scramble for power, profit and influence.Wang-yun: But there’s nothing I can do because of Dong-zhou’s adopted son, Lyu-bu. He is the greatest fighter ever since and will protect his father! Oh my lord, what am I going to do? (说完王很心痛得走，貂禅出现，双手合十，默默祈祷）Diao-chan: (Sigh) [My lord, please help my father out.[王允听到了声音,循声而去. ]Diao-chan: since I was three my father Wang-yun had treated me just like his own daughter! It’s time for me to repay his kindness. And, and…Wang-yun: (王允走了一圈，发现貂）What are you doing ,my dear?Diao-chan: Well… I have an idea about how to kill Dong-zhou. Wang-yun: Oh, That’s great! But…… Diao-chan: But Daddy, that is the only way!Wang-yun: But……Diao-chan: [Diao-chan nods her head, with a firm and determined expression on her face.] Don't worry! Just trust me. Dad. Let’s get the whole thing started. Wang-yun：[深深吐了一口气，缓缓地道出]O---K(灯光暗后复亮，表示场景的转换)Act 2地点：王允家人物：王允，貂蝉，吕布，董卓，士兵Storyteller: And according to Diao-chan’s plan, Wang-yun has invited both Lyu-bu and Dong-zhou separately to his house. SCENE 灯光亮起。At Wang-yun’s home. A wooden Chinese table is set in the middle of the stage; some Chinese wine pots and small wine cups are on it. Also, two wooden chairs are placed next to it. Wang-yun talking to the servant with anxiousWang-yun: What time is it?Servant: It's eight.Wang-yun: It 's time for his coming. Have a look!Servant: Yes sir. Oh, Sir, General Lyu is at the door.Wang-yun: Hurry, my dear. Lyu-bu is already here.Diao-chan: Don’t worry about me. Let me go inside and prepare myself, OK? [She walks in.][她进去了。同时，响起butterfly乐曲，貂跳起了跳舞毯,作为热身准备的交代。]Wang-yun: [To the servant] Let him in. servant: Yes, sir. [The servant goes out and leads Lyu-bu in]Wang-yun : [觉得BUTTERFLY的声音太响，不堪忍受回头说了句]Oh, My dear, turn down a bit.[音乐转轻至停止]Lyu-bu: [Walk towards Wang-yun and hug him] Long time no see, Mr. Wang. How have you been these days?Wang-yun: Fine, thank you. Please take a seat. In fact, the main reason why I invited you today is that my daughter, Diao-chan, has been an admirer of you long time ago. She would really love to see her hero. I was wondering weather you would like to meet her?Lyu-bu: Definitely! I’m delighted to do so.Wang-yun: Diao-chan, Diao-chan…Diao-chan: [Walks out from the painted screen.Using her sleeves to cover her face,pretending to be shy.] Yes, Daddy.[Diao-chan 以一个漂亮地步子走上前，看到Lyu-bu 害羞地低下头。王允开始介绍]Wang-yun: This is my daughter, Diao-chan. And this is General Lu, the greatest fighter in the world!Diao-chan: [Putting her sleeves down.] Nice to meet you, General! I’ve admired you for a long time, a man full of power and grandeur!Lyu-bu: [Shocked by her beauty.] Uh…Wang-yun,this is your…your daughter? Of course, you see. How lovely she is! And how deep I am in lovewith her just at the first sight!Diao-chan: [躲到父亲的身后] Thank you for your compliment, General Lu. Wang-yun: Lyu-bu, since you are in love with Diao-chan,then I now betroth my daughter to you! What do you think?Lyu-bu: [心不在焉]Pardon?Wang-yun: Marry.Lyu-bu: (激动万分)Oh,Really? That would be my greatest pleasure! Thank you so much! I will go and prepare for the wedding,and will be back soon! [He looks at Diao-chan and reluctantly left from the right.][吕布回去，王允和貂禅对话]Wang-yun: [Making sure that Lyu-bu has left, looking very relieve.] Thanks God that things are going fine!Diao-chan: [Smiles at her father.] Yeah…So far so good!Wang-yun: But dear, I can’t stop worrying about you. Here you are. In case you are in dangerous. [给刀子]Diao-chan: [突然听到有人来了]Hush…I heard someone coming. I shall stay behind the painted screen right now. [She walked behind the screen.]Soldier: His highness Dong-zhou enters[Dong-zhou 抬着头。傲慢地走进来。王允被吓倒地]Wang-yun: Welcome! Welcome! Almighty Mr.Dong! It’s my greatest honor to invite you to my humble house! Please come in and take a seat.Dong-zhou: No. This is my name card. Please call me Dr.Richard Dong. I have graduated in School of Business and Economic in 清华大学，received Doctor degree [拿出毕业文凭，大笑]Wang-yun: Oh…yes! So great! By the way, Mr. Dong, my daughter Diao-chan would like to perform a dance for you. What do you think?Dong-zhou: Sure! Why not![Diao-chan跳舞而出，响起‘至少还有你’，然后演貂禅的演员跳起一段民族舞蹈，相信可以让大家心旷神怡。][舞罢]Dong-zhou: [Applauds happily] Charming! Absolutely charming!Diao-chan: Thank you, Mr. Dong. I am glad that you enjoy my performance.[迎上，董卓赠于她一块玉佩]Thank you. You have always been a hero in my heart.Dong-zhou: [Very glad] Really? Come here![Diao-chan approaches him and Dong-zhou gives her a closer look.]Dong-zhou: You are such a beauty, my dear.Wang-yun: Do you really think so? What if I dedicate her to you as a token of our respect? I believe that it must be her dream to be at your side and to serve you.Dong-zhou: Wonderful! [Turns to the soldiers] Soldiers take Diao-chan back to my residence and provide her whatever she needs. Her beauty deserves all the best! [倒上桂林三花酒] [Turns to Wang-yun] Cheers! For your beautiful daughter! Wang-yun: CheersAct3地点：董卓安置貂禅的别院人物：吕布，士兵，貂禅，董卓Storyteller: Filling himself with anger and fury, Lyu-bu goes directly to his father’s residence, searching for Diao-chan.灯光亮起SCENE At Dong-zhou’s residence.A huge pavilion is at the right of the stage,with a horizontal inscribed board saying “Dong’s Pavilion”hanging on it. Around the pavilion are some plants andChinese garden settings. A soldier stands at the right of the stage. Diao-chan sits in the pavilion, reading peacefully.[Lyu-bu rushes out of the stage.]Soldier: Sorry, General Lu. Miss Diao is now in the garden.No one can go in to disturb her. It is Mr. Dong’s order.Lyu-bu: Get out of my way! I need to see Diao-chan![拿出一包银子]Soldier: Ok.[吕布进] [士兵走到一旁满足的笑笑。吕布气势汹汹冲到貂房里。貂哭]Lyu-bu： My dear. Don’t cry. Tell me. What had your father done to you?Diao : He forced me to stay here with him. A soldier is always out there to prevent me from escaping.[吕布愤怒的看看士兵，走上前，一推]士兵[倒地]：ahh. You have destroyed me.Lyu-bu: shut! [拿出了又一包银子给他] Soldier： I must see my doctor at once.[走开]貂[哭着]：I know that he is your father, and I know that I shouldn’t tell you about his terrible acts. But ……Lyu-bu [火冒三丈]：It’s all right. Don’t blame yourself. In fact I never know that man whom I called father is such a brutal animal!Dong-zhou已在身后，冷笑：Who is such a brutal animal?!Lyu-bu退后三步(灯光渐渐变暗直到看不见为止. Lyu-bu walks out slowly from the right of the stage, 灯光只打在他身上)Lyu-bu：（心里） [Looking troubled, with a sword on his hand] To be or not to be, that is always the question. On one side,it is my own father, but the other, my dearest lady.(响起“左右为难”高潮段音乐，“一边是友情，一边是爱情”) Oh, Lord! What should I do? Dong-zhou is so brutal and heartless, but he is my father after all! I can’t kill him. [Puts down the sword] But, what about Diao-chan? I can’t live without her! She is so helpless under Dong-zhou’s control.I must save her. Yes, I must save her, despite of anything! [He draws out the sword again](灯光全部打开，照亮整个舞台)Lyu-bu: Father, I want Diao-chan back.Dong-zhou: No way. She belongs to me.Lyu-bu: But I love her! I want her to be with me, despite of anything!Dong-zhou: Never. She is mine!Lyu-bu: [Charges Dong-zhou with the sword] Then, this is what you deserve![刀刺向董卓]Dong-zhou: What are you doing, my son? Don’t be foolish…Auh…(Be killed by Lyu-bu.)Lyu-bu: [His hands shaking] I…I have killed my own father! I have killed my own father. …What have I done? [ 他重重地蹲了下去，垂头丧气。灯光变得很昏暗，只有追光灯打在他身上]Diao-chan： General Lyu.[Lyu-bu听到Diao-chan的声音，突然抬起头。]Diao-chan： Let’s go. Leave away from here.Lyu[沉思片刻,使他从伤感中走了出来]: Yes, my dear.[Lyu-bu走到Dong-zhuo跟前重重地踢上一脚，然后和Diao-chan 慢慢地小步离去，舞台上剩下Dong-zhuo的尸体和Lyu-bu & Diao-chan 的背影。Introducer (背景音乐起)：After Dong Zhou’s death, the turbulent country had restored into a peaceful lank.Diao Chan, the matchless beauty, the plain slave-girl.She sacrificed her own happiness for the best of her country.And gained her position in the Man-controlled era. Today, we still remember the love story of Lyubu and Diao-Chan, not for its sincerity, its heartbreak effect. But for its concern with the future of the country .We extol Diao-Chan ,noras much she was one of the 4-beauties of Ancient China asshe was a real heroine.The end