freddie英语启蒙

Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife wasreally angery.She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in thedriveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife wokeup, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a boxgift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.Confused, the wife went out and brought the box back in the house.She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.Bob has been missing since Friday. 从0到200 故事大体意思：Bob忘了他和妻子的结婚纪念日，妻子很生气，让他明天准备一个礼物，并放在车道上，这个礼物要在6秒能从0变化到200.第二天早上，Bob很早就上班了，然后他妻子起床后发现车道上的确有个礼物盒，她把它拿进屋然后打开，发现是个体重秤。Bob自从周5就失踪了。 Only three doors An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.The next morning, as the pilot noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!" 只有3扇门大体意思是：一个飞机机长今天看到，在他这般飞机上有个新来的一个金发碧眼的美丽空姐。这班飞机中途要停一站，他对这个空姐很殷勤，带她去了当地最好的机务人员住所。第二天早晨，机长发现这个空姐失踪了，然后他就打旅馆电话问怎么回事，空姐哭哭啼啼的接了电话说：“我出不去了！这只有3扇门。第一个门是卫生间，第二个门是衣柜，第三个门上有个牌子贴着'请勿打扰’。”A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.妈妈：弗雷迪，你的脸为什么那么红？弗雷迪：我刚才在大街上跑，为的是阻止一次打架？妈妈：你做的对，谁和谁在打架。弗雷迪：我和杰克·史密斯。Last week, Mrs Black went to London. She didn’t know London very well, and she lost her way. Suddenly she saw a man near a bus stop. She went up to the man and said, “Excuse me! Can you tell me the way to the hospital, please?” The man smiled. He didn’t know English! He came from Germany. But then he put his hand into his pocket, and took out an English dictionary. He looked up some words. Then he said slowly, “I’m sorry I can’t understand you.” 上周，布莱克夫人去了一趟伦敦。她不太熟悉伦敦，结果她迷路了。突然她在一个公共汽车站附近看见一位男子。她急忙向这位男子走去，说道：“劳驾您一下！请您告诉我去医院的路，好吗？”这位男子笑了。他听不懂英语。他来自德国。但是他将手伸进了自己的衣袋里，从里面掏出了一本英语词典。他查找到了一些单词。然后他一字一句地说：“我很抱歉我听不懂你说的话。” Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes. The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman." "Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?" "They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once. "Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.". 迪克年龄七岁，他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。一天，妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩，自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。 孩子们玩了个把小时，在四点半的时候，姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并对他说：“喏，迪克，给你刀子，把这块蛋糕一切为二，给你妹妹一块。不过，你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。” 迪克问：“像一个绅士？绅士怎样做呢？” 他姨妈马上回答说：“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的。” 迪克说了一声“噢”。他对此想了一会，然后，他把蛋糕拿给妹妹，并对她说：“凯瑟琳，你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧