叶烨夜夜
逃课Scene I(Anita, Kevin, Ken, Jason, Steven, and Rita are all Tunghai University students. They are good friends. One day, Ken and Jason meet on the way to the classroom.)Ken: Why are you late? And, you just missed the last class. The teacher gave us the main topics for the mid-term examination.Jason: Oh, shoot! I just missed it. Would you lend me your notes so I can make a copy?Ken: Sure if you give me a good reason why you missed the class. You promised me that you would be in class on time today.Jason: Believe me, I would like to keep my word. The problem is that I have the “Business Management” test today and I was up studying for it till three o’clock this morning. Then I fell asleep and woke up at ten o’clock this morning.Ken: You studied until three o’clock this morning? Why? What did you do yesterday afternoon? I know you were free from four o’clock on yesterday.Jason: Well, I met one of my very old friends on line and we just talked too long…Ken: For God’s sake! Don’t you care about next week’s mid-term examination?——————————————————————————–Scene II(Anita, Steven and Kevin are talking to one another in front of a classroom. And, Anita is trying to prevent Steven and Kevin from cutting the next class.)Anita: Hey, we’ll have the “Business Management” class in a few minutes. Where are you going? Don’t tell me that you are going to argue with Jason.Steven: I will do anything for my good friend. Of course I am going to argue with the guy who gave my good friend a hard time.Anita: You always like to get involved in someone else’s business. You’ll get yourself in trouble. Don’t you know it? …Kevin: Anita, don’t be upset with him. He will not listen to you. Just leave him alone. By the way, I am still waiting for your decision. Are you coming with me to the concert tomorrow?Anita: Oh, I am sorry that I almost forgot it. What time tomorrow?Kevin: Two o’clock. I cannot wait to see my adorable superstar – Jolin. Oh, how wonderful!Anita: wait a minute. We have Calculus class tomorrow afternoon. Are you out of your mind?Kevin: Well, I’m not. Yet I think we can just copy the notes from someone else.Anita: No, this is a very important class. And you would never understand it without listening to the lecture.Kevin: To me it makes no difference. Even if I were in the class I would never understand what the teacher is talking about. Besides, who likes to look at the old baldhead?——————————————————————————–Scene III(After Calculus class, Anita is on the way to the ST building. At the same time, Rita is walking to the ST building from the dorm. They meet in front of the laboratory.)Rita: Here I am. Look, I did what I promised. I am a good girl, not skipping classes.Anita: What are you talking about? This is the 5th class. You skipped the first four classes this morning. Yesterday you promised that you would not skip any class.Rita: Did I? We don’t have any class in the morning but we’re packed in the afternoon on Wednesdays.Anita: I beg your pardon? Today is Thursday and we have classes the whole day. Besides, didn’t you meet us this morning while we were going out to class?Rita: I thought you were going to the library.Anita: You are loopy now because you’ve skipped too, too many classes.Rita: Why did you say so? I know that we will have the Computer Program test tomorrow.Anita: You are incurable. The test was this morning!——————————————————————————–Scene IV(Ken and Rita are talking to each other. They are talking about how to skip a class. )Ken: I wonder why your Calculus professor never takes attendance. Yet, every time I skipped class, my professor always knew I was absent. I think I am really unlucky.Rita: well, you’ll appreciate what I’m going to tell you now, my three very good suggestions.Ken: What are they?Rita: Now lend me your ears – First of all, whether you skip the class or not, you’ll never pass the course.Ken: How do you know that I will not pass?Rita: Calculus is extremely difficult. I don’t believe you can pass it.Ken: Maybe you are right. What else?Rita: Before you skip the class you should treat everyone nicely. And after that, you should try to flatter your professor.Ken: Why?Rita: Well if you treat the classmates nicely, they will help you sign your name on the attendance sheet. And if you flatter your professor properly, you may ask the professor to pass you. Lastly – To skip the classes successfully you cannot skip too many classes or too few.Ken: What do you mean? Not too many and not too few?Rita: You need good weather for skipping classes so you can go out to fool around. And then you need good timing so you can go to the newly opened internet café that is on discount. Finally you need good relationships with the classmates so they can cover it up for you.Ken: You are a genius.Rita: I am just very professional.Ken: I see now. I will try sometimes. Hah, Hah, Hah!!!——————————————————————————–Scene V(Ken meets Kevin at the parking lot.)Kevin: It’s time for the English class. Why are you here?Ken: I don’t want to go to English class. I want to cut the class.Kevin: Why?Ken: Because someone told me cutting classes can be fun.Kevin: That’s right. I will show you how much fun it is to cut classes.Ken: Ok. Let’s go.(Kevin and Ken cut the class and go out to have fun with girls. And both of them will fail the English class. Therefore next semester they will see Jean, their English teacher, again.)——————————————————————————–Tags: 6人剧本, 大学生活, 趣味剧本
北京大妞轩儿
Scene1（At Salesman’s home） N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming! S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money…… Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表) First, put the flour on the table. Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做) Now press, press…… Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情) Press, press…… Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it! Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe…… Now let me cut it into pieces!
cheese酸奶
英语四人话剧!幽默搞笑的话剧剧本《赖皮孙子糊涂爷爷》
演员: P: Pirate-Grandson. M: Mother.
F: Father. K: King -Grandpa.
旁白: There are 4 members in a family, Pirate, a 7-year-old naughty boy. His mummy is a beautiful white-collar worker. His dad, Andy Lau is a famous singer, and his dear grandpa, King is a kindly old man. Pirate loves his grandpa most, because King is very spoiling him. He hates his parents. Frankly speaking, he is afraid of them, Because they are very strict with him. .
正剧：(P,K出场)
P: Old King, Open the TV, I want to see Tom and Jerry. I love that mouse. Quick! No time! I can’t wait another second.
K: Oh dear! I nearly forget it. Don’t worry, I open it right now. (作开电视状)
P: Ha Ha! It’s really funny! Tom is so good! (作高兴状)搞笑小品
Oh no! “The End!” Where is Tom? I hate the end! (摔电视机，liuxue86.com作极度气愤状) Old King!? (对K吼)
K：Oh, what a pity dog! (作左顾右盼状) Your parents are not here ,and we can change another one ,our brave Pirate, just tell me. I’m sure your demand will be satisfied. (作充满自信状)
P：Really! OK! Now, let’s watch Caribbean Pirates!
K: Humm, No, it’s unfit for you…… (作犹豫状)
P: I just like this film, Old King, you tell lies. You don’t keep your promise.(作气愤欲泣状)
K; Oh yes, I play it for you. (作为难状) But please be quite, I’m afraid your parents wound not like us doing these.
P: Don’t tell so much! I have been an adult man of 7 years old. I promise it to you. (作自豪自信状)
K：OK. (作舒心，安慰状)
P: Fight him, kill him. Throw these bad guys into the sea…… (高声喊)
K: Xu …….. (作禁声状). Remember your promise, young adult man.
P: Oh? What promise? I have forgotten it. (作天经地义状)
K: Oh?! You are right(作理解状，因为Pirate一贯如此，出尔反尔)
P: Old King. I give you an honorable mission. (作自豪状) Be my horse, and I will ride on your back , let’s help these people in dangerous situation, just like a brave knight.(作勇敢状)
K: What! Ride on my back! Be your horse!!(作惊异状)
P: Yes, your hearing is very good, any question? (作若无其事状)
K: No, No, sound a good idea! Very good! You are a brave Pirate. Now come on my back. (作无奈状)
P: (作高兴状，作跃上马背状) Hei! Let’s go! Kill all those bad men. Quick! Run quick! ....... (意气风发状)
(M,F携手进场):搞笑小品剧本
P: Oh, my god! Mummy, Daddy! (A,D作慌忙状，挡在电视机前)
M: Dad, what are you doing!? Naughty Pirate, isn’t your trick!? (作气愤状)
P:(作阳痿状) Mummy, it’s not my fault. Old king let me massage his back. Hei Hei (作心虚状，以掩饰内心的恐惧)
M: I don’t believe it. (作严肃状) Dad, isn’t really that? (询问K)
K: Yes, of course, I can’t image a child only 5 year old, can massage so good. Oh……. (释然状，因为圆了我的谎)
M: Really. I don’t believe the litter pirate can massage, who taught him. (作怀疑状) Dear, isn’t you ?
F: No, I haven’t, but I decide to enjoy his massage another day, Do you think so, dear?
M: Yes, really a good suggestion.
(P，D作惊恐状。A：发抖，D：挥汗)
(P挡着电视怕被M、F发现，K也为P作掩饰)
P: Mummy, Do you feel a little cold?
K: Yes, I can feel it. (边挥汗边说冷)
M: No, it’s summer. Really hot, do you catch cold?
P: No, No, just my feeling. (更加发抖，一不小心被B看到了电视)
M: Pirate, what’s behind you? (疑问状)
P: Oh, nothing, nothing! (作惊恐状)
M: Move away .little Pirate! (作气愤状)
P: Oh no! The storm will come. (捂脸作害怕状)
M: Caribbean Pirate! What’s a bad film! Little Pirate!? (气愤状)
P: Mummy, I surrender. (作投降状)
M: Daddy ,this film is unfit for him , it is full of killing，force and negative passion, and it will let him become bad !
K: I know that, but I meat to let him watch Tom and Jerry and he like it very much. Yes? Pirate? (想转移话题与Pirate站在同一战线)
P: Yes, a very clever mouse and a stupid cat. (作博学状)
M: Dad, don’t let him watch so much TV, it wastes a lot of time, and it is bad for his eyesight. He may become short-sighted. (诚恳状)
小品：“不差钱”
(2009年中央电视台春节联欢晚会节目)
Got the Money Anyway(舞台上是一个餐厅的背景，写着：“苏格兰情调”。本山大叔穿着中山装，身上背着一串蒜头，手上拿着野鸡，拉着毛毛上场。)
(This short play is set in a restaurant named "Scottish Taste / Feel." Uncle Zhao, in his customary Chinese tunic suit, enters, carrying a string of garlic on his back and a pheasant in hand, with his granddaughter Yadar in tow.)
Uncle Zhao Here we are. 赵本山：到了。
Yadar Here we are. 毛毛： 到了。
Uncle Zhao It's the most expensive restrant in Tieling:苏格兰 调情~~~
赵本山：这就是铁岭最贵的一家饭店。这不，苏格兰调情(tiáo qíng)。 Yadar You got it wrong –苏格兰情调!!
毛毛： 爷爷，你念反了，苏格兰情调(qíng diào)。
Uncle Zhao 情调(qíng diào) All right, . We're gonna have our meal here anyway. 赵本山：啊，情调?就搁这儿吃。
Yadar But it's very expensive. 毛毛： 爷爷，这家老贵的啦。 Uncle Zhao So what? We've got the money, 30,000 yuan. Where's the bag? 赵本山：贵?咱带钱了，带三万多块，那包呢?
Yadar What bag? 毛毛： 我没拿包啊。
Uncle Zhao The yellow one with the money in it.
赵本山：装钱那包，黄包。
Yadar Oh no, I left it on the brick bed. 毛毛： 完了，让我落炕上了。
Uncle Zhao oh,what can I do? I do all this just for you ,how could you forget it! Any money left on you?
赵本山：我说，你这孩子还能办点事吗?!这给你办事，落炕上了还。兜里还有钱吗?
Yadar Let me see... (Fumbling) only 70-plus yuan.
毛毛： 兜里，多少钱哪才?才70多块钱。
Uncle Zhao Here's 400 more.
赵本山：我还有400。行，够了。
Yadar Still not enough. 毛毛： 这也不能够啊。
Uncle Zhao It’s ok. Waiter!
赵本山：哎呀，够不够就这样了。服务员!
静水居士
英语话剧剧本推荐：《威尼斯商人》、《俄狄浦斯王》、《第十二夜》、《被缚的普罗米修斯》、《鸟》。
1、《威尼斯商人》
《威尼斯商人》 是英国戏剧家莎士比亚创作的戏剧，是一部具有讽刺性的喜剧。大约作于1596~1597年。该剧的剧情是通过三条线索展开的：一条是鲍西亚选亲；一条是杰西卡与罗兰佐恋爱和私奔；还有一条是“割一磅肉”的契约纠纷。
2、《俄狄浦斯王》
《俄狄浦斯王》是古希腊作家索福克勒斯创作的剧本，约公元前431年演出。《俄狄浦斯王》戏剧，取材于希腊神话传说中关于俄狄浦斯杀父娶母的故事，展示了富有典型意义的希腊悲剧冲突——人跟命运的冲突。
3、《第十二夜》
《第十二夜》是英国剧作家莎士比亚创作的戏剧，约写于1600一1602年间，1623年在书业公所登记，同年收入第一对开本中。这部作品以抒情的笔调，浪漫喜剧的形式，再次讴歌了人文主义对爱情和友谊的美好理想，表现了生活之美、爱情之美。
4、《被缚的普罗米修斯》
《被缚的普罗米修斯》是古希腊悲剧家埃斯库罗斯的一部话剧作品，剧中主要塑造了普罗米修斯这一位爱护人类、不屈服于暴力的光辉形象。该剧情节简单，结构也不复杂，但它历来受到人们的重视，被视为古典名作。
5、《鸟》
《鸟》是阿里斯托芬（公元前414年）的杰作之一，是现存的唯一以神话幻想为题材的喜剧。剧中有两个雅典人和一群鸟一起在天和地之间建立了一个“云中鹁鸪国”。这个国家是一个理想的社会，其中没有贫富之分，没有剥削，劳动是生存的唯一条件。
维基先生Wiki
勇敢的小红帽Mum： (妈妈拿着一个篮子，把桌子上的水果放在篮子里）Little Red Riding Hood：(拿着双节棍，欢快地跑进来）Hi,mummy, what are you doing?Mum： （一边把水果放在篮子里，心事重重地说）Grandma is ill. Here are some apples and bananas for Grandma. Take them to Grandma.L：（边提起篮子，边点头说）Ok!M：（亲切地看着L）Be careful.and……if you are ever in trouble,don’t fight,just run , just run away.L： Yes ,mummy．Goodbye, mummy.Mum： Bye-bye. Darling.(M下, L挎着篮子蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁)L： Wow！Flowers, how beautiful! （放下篮子摩拳擦掌地采花）I’ll pick some flowers！Wolf：（Wolf大步地走上台）I am gray wolf. I am so hungry. (东张西望) Here is a little red riding hood!Rad wolf： I am rad wolf.（指着W）he is my huaband,a foolish wolf.（叉腰出现在身后）have you got any food?W：（一惊，转身，谄媚地弯腰笑着）darling,i……R：I don’t need any explanation! I don’t want to eat vegetables any more!You must get some meat now! now!W：（抱头）yes darling!i will!（来到舞台中央，对L）Hi! Lovely girl!Where are you going? (狡猾的和L打招呼)L：who……oh!(警觉的退后）you are that bad grey wolf!aren’t you?W(吃惊)：how do you know?L：Because you looks so ugly and your prologs are very old. My mum has told me many stories about wolves.you are silly and bad……you can’t trick me!W：（晕倒状，扶额无语）e…….L：(上下指指点点)：look at your dirty clothes and messy hair,no no no……how shameless!W：（低头看自己，一脸委屈）I don’t have money to buy new shoes or clothes or mirror……（转头看一眼R）all my monry have given my wife……R：（声音从后边传来）what did you say?——say again!W：nothing! Darling! i said nothing I sware!R：you’d bett be quick!i’m hungry!W：ok ok!（看着L，舔嘴角，恶狠狠）now,I can eat you!L：（摆出拳击手势，对W勾勾手指）you may try if you want to die ! i will let you know the meaning of ‘regret’ !W：（退后两步，犹豫）why?shi isn’t like that fool Little Red Riding Hood in story that my grandpa told me……what should I do?R：(上台，对W)where is my food?W：（指L）here shi is.R：why don’t you catch her?W：（结结巴巴）d d d darling,i……（哼哼唧唧）L：（突然想起，一拍脑袋）oh!my mum told me not to fight,I must run away immediately.（俯身偷偷看了一眼W，蹑手蹑脚地慢慢走开）R：（生气，揪住W耳朵大吼）stupid ！you are a wolf and she is only a little girl !W：（反应过来）yes! I am a strong wolf !（看到L要逃，指着她大喊）hey ! stop !(追上去)（R 挥舞平底锅加油，W追L，两人在台上跑）R：come on ! come on ! good ! catch her !（最终W捉住L）W：（得意洋洋）Aha! I catch you!（对R）darling,we will have meat to eat this evening!R：yes ! I can’t wait to have dinner! Dear, let’go home now!M：（从后台走上）Little Red Riding Hood?my dear? Where are you?L：（大喊）mum mum! I am here !M：（看见，吃了一惊）：grey wolf?oh no! let my daughter go !W：（哈哈大笑）you are day dreaming!i am a wolf !A evil wolf! I must eat her as my dinner!M：（沉重地）yes I know,you are a wolf.but listen,Mr.wolf,you’d better let her go,or you will have bad luck,you may be hurt……it’s my advise.（L从篮子里抽出双节棍，追着W一阵痛打，W抱头痛的满台跑）R：（追上W）dear! What happened ! are you ok?……dear!……（L,M,R跑下台）M：（惋惜、同情地）Mr.wolf,you see,I have told you but you didn’t follow my words……（后台W的声音遥遥传来：we will go back again!）（L蹦蹦跳跳上台）L：dear mum,the grey wolf has gone away!M：god to be thanked!L：not god helps me,I can save myself ! mum ,I am clever and strong!M：you are right , my dear!you did a good job!（《健康歌》，L和M来到中央跳舞）L：we should do exercise everyday and be stronger,at that time ,no wolf can hurt us!mum ,let’s go to see my grandma!（W,R搀扶着上台，L看见了，W,R急忙要走）L：hey! Stop!(追下台)M：dear!dear! where you go ?……drea!(亦下台)
小小织女星
[话剧剧本]《幸福，到六为止？》剧组名单（共19 人） 杭高话剧… 12-18 [话剧剧本]流浪日记 (又名:《依靠的归宿》) 杭高话剧… 12-18 [话剧剧本]提拉米苏的眼泪 杭高话剧… 12-18 [话剧剧本]战国无双——信长之野望 杭高话剧… 12-18 [话剧剧本][剧本]九八版《窒息》 佚名 12-07 [话剧剧本]天堂地狱大比拼（搞笑） 佚名 12-07 [话剧剧本]《我爱抬杠》 刘深 12-07 [话剧剧本]空城记 黄佑华 12-07 [话剧剧本]经典剧本《去年冬天》 编 剧 喻… 12-07 [话剧剧本]天堂隔壁是疯人院 编 剧 喻… 12-07 [话剧剧本]媒体爱滋病 韩继光 12-07 [话剧剧本]《那边》 子 抗 12-07 [话剧剧本]北京人 曹禺 12-07 [话剧剧本]堕落天使 佚名 12-07 [话剧剧本]《齐介一》 赖晓旭 12-07 [话剧剧本]《史步可》 赖晓旭 12-07 [话剧剧本]《我这一辈子》 丑子 12-07 [话剧剧本]午夜（剧本） 格子格兮 12-07 [话剧剧本]灰姑娘（男生版）——剧本 佚名 12-07 [话剧剧本][剧本]常规与例外 贝托尔特… 12-07
