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英文幽默笑话小短文
经常讲一些笑话,不仅能给自己到来快乐,还能感染他人,这里我收集整理了英文幽默笑话小短文,一起来看看吧!
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ... hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'"
有个人开车行驶在上班的路上,一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的'车,当时他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。刚一醒过来,他就拼命的挣扎着,最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。过了一会儿,他平静了,别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎,他说:“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了,当我醒过来,我发现我躺在了路边,前面是一个巨大的广告牌上面闪烁着‘壳牌,但是有个人挡住了那个‘S’。”
A man died and his wife phoned the newspaper to place an obituary. She called the obituary department and said, "This is what I want to print: Bernie is dead.” The man at the newspaper said, "But for $25 you are allowed to print six words.” The woman answered, "OK. Then print: Bernie is dead. Toyota for sale.”
一个男人死了,他的妻子给报社打电话要刊登一个讣告。她接通了负责刊登讣告的部门的电话说:“我想刊登这句话:博尼死了。”报社负责人说:"25美元您可以刊登6个字。”妻子想了想说:“好吧,那就这样登:博尼死了,本田车出售。”
Tom was tired out, and he went to bed as soon as he reached home.
Suddenly it occurred to him that he had planned to do something that evening. As he could not remember what it was, he tossed and turned in his bed for along time.
Finally the thing came to his mind, "My God, the original plan was to go to bed early!" he said depressingly.
汤姆很累,一到家就上床睡觉。
忽然,他想起原来晩上计划做一件事,可他想不起来是什么事,他辗转反侧了很长时间 。
最后他突然想起来了,“上帝,我原来的计划就是早点儿上床睡觉!”他颓丧地自言自语道。
liushuangr
1.Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.在期末考试之前,汤姆告诉他的母亲:“妈妈,我昨天晚上做了一个梦,梦见我通过了今天的考试。”“不要相信梦,亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答道。“那么,我真希望在今晚的梦中,我的其他功课都不及格。”汤姆说。2.Big handsTeacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?tudent: Big hands.大手老师:如果我左手上有7个桔子,右手上有8个桔子。那么我有什么?学生:大手。3.Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?Tommy: Quarters.Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?Tommy: Hamburger.老师:如果我把一块牛排切成两半的两半,我能得到几块儿?汤米:四块。老师:那我要是再切两次,我能得到什么呢?汤米:汉堡。4.On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were
风吹萧萧
打电话给女神,喂,我请你去吃饭好吗?女神:不用了,很抱歉。屌丝:去吧,我就在你家楼下那辆法拉利里面等你。女神:真不用了,你看你请我那么多次我都没去,这次换我邀请你吃饭吧。有时候爱就要执着。
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