洛林小叮当
括号中是修改后的，主要是一些基本语法，语句还可以进一步润色。Nowadays, exam has become one of the most important （ways） to judge how (do the students master knowledge). Who can （get passed） or have a high （score） has a great meaning for his school life or career. All the students try their best to pass. Cheating is one of the ways, and it’s on the rise. There are two （kinds） of cheating students. The first kind want to experience new things in school. They join in the associations and take part in different kinds of activities. In this situation, they ignore the importance of knowledge and (be) out of mind in the class. In the end of the semester, （they） choose cheating to pass the exams. (The other kind of students) work hard on their study. They gradually notice that cheating can possibly (help them to) succeed in the exam, and they find that who cheats in the exam even has a higher (score) than them. For protecting the fairness between cheaters and non-cheaters, they begin to cheat too. That is because schools pay more attention to the result (than) process. In my opinion, cheating absolutely should be forbidden all the time. Supervisors must strictly punish the cheaters. At the same time, school should judge the students all-rounds but (only the scores). In this way, I think the fairness will come again in the near future.
红枫叶马大姐
really want to learn a new skill-----palying basketball. Because (playing) basketball has these advantages. Firstly, palying basketball can lose weight to sharp my figure. And it can make (a) person (higher). Secondly, it is (very) popular. So if I can play basketball, (others) may think I’m cool and (fashionable). When my (friends play), they (will) call me to play with them. Thirdly, that is a good chance (to make) some good friends. Because we think all people (are) our friends when we stand (on) the same basketball court. It can make me (make) many new friend after a basketball game. I love this sport, I really want to learn this skill.
我的小满
My favorite room is my lovely bedroom, because… Firstly, I love pink and my mother print my bedroom pink(刷油漆，用paint或者brush更好些).So I love my lovely bedroom. Secondly, my bedroom was design(用designed，屋子是被设计的） by my mother and my bedroom looks like princess’s room（room是可数名词，单数，前面加定冠词a）. Thirdly, I have my bedroom four years（表示已经用四年了，持续的动作，I have my bedroom for four years), I have a deep love for it. In spring, summer, autumn, winter,(并列名词，最后用and 连接，autumn and winter） I stay at there（there和here之前不加at，in之类，本身就带有方向性，I stay here）. However I’m sad, happy, blue, hopeless, （不管我是悲伤、高兴、忧郁还是无助，对吧？blue or hopeless，最好这些形容词成对出现，一个积极的，一个消极的）I sleep in my princess’s bed. So I love everything in my bedroom. Finally, I think I can do anything what（anything做宾语的宾语从句，后面一定是that，anything that） I want to do. I can dance, sing songs, shout, sleep, surf the Internet, watch TV, talk with my friends in the phone（on the phone）, read books and so on. I think my bedroom can give me freedom. I love my bedroom, I love my personal place, I love my free place. ————————————HLL的分割线————————————————1.如果从句用不好，多用简单句式。2.要言之有物，写一写在屋子里面发生的事情；当你忧伤的时候，你会在房间里面听听音乐；当你疲惫的时候，你会在房间里面好好休息；当你有什么委屈的时候，你可能会闷头大哭一场；当你写作业写到很晚的时候，还有你的小屋陪着，温馨而快乐。
阿迪思念
Dear counselor, I heard that our high school wants to increase the number of applications for our college. There are two suggestions, which are to take current seniors to visit the college and let the alumnis tell the college experience for seniors. I realize that you only can choose one suggestion. As a student at our college, I think we should take seniors on filed trips to college. Many students don't have the real image of college, so providing this trip of college can let students know what the real college looks like and let them enjoy going to college. Many students don't want to go to college. They are afraid of studying at college, because they think college has more complicated courses than their high schools and they apparently think they will feel headache. In fact, it's not true. For example, I, an immigrant from China, haven't studied in high school in United States. I can follow the courses in college. In fact if you work hard, you will catch up. Compare with me, these seniors have more advanced conditions to study in college well. If we provide the trip of college, such as visiting the campus, seniors can know what the college courses are and they will have right image of college. In addition, a trip to college not only can help students know our college environment, also can let students know our academic standard. As we know, many good colleges, such as us, often have good academic atmosphere. This atmosphere can help students studying well. If we want to increase the applications of our college, we have to let students know what our academic atmosphere is. For example, I visited the west point military school last week. I took the tour bus around the campus, and got in the museum of school. Therefore, I found that military school's history and their atmosphere. If our school provides some trips to here, students will know how our school academic standard is. At last, more students visit our college; more students will be attracted and apply for our college. All in all, giving the trip to our college can let student have the right image of college, and it can let them know our academic standard. I hope this trip can attract more good seniors to apply our college, and I hope you can adopt my suggestion.Sincerely, 错误不是很多啊，你在读大学吗？呵呵，在国外留学？我是移民...
一剪寒梅love
Dear counselor, I hear that our high school wants to increase the number of applications for our college. There are two suggestions, these are: to invite the current seniors to visit the college and let the alumni to relate their college experience to the seniors. I realize that you only can select one suggestion. As a student at our college, I think we should take te seniors to a field trip to the college. Many students don't have the real image of college, so providing this trip enable the students to know what the real college look like and let them enjoy going to college. Many students don't like to go to college. They think college has more complexed courses than that of their high school. Apparently they think they will get headache over it. In fact, it's not true. For example, I, am an immigrant from China, haven't studied in a high school in United States. I can follow the courses in college also. In fact if you work hard, you will catch up with the work. Compare with me, these seniors have more advantages to study in college well. If we plan the field trip to the college, such as visiting the campus, the seniors will then know what the college courses like and they will have a better image of the college. In addition, a trip to college can not only help the students to familarise our college environment, but also let student know our academic level. As we know, many good colleges, such as us, often have good academic environment to enable student to study well. If we want to increase the uptake/applications of our college, we have to let student know what our academic environment is. For example, I visited the West Point Military School last week. I took the tour bus around the campus, and got in the school museum. I know more about the history of the School and the environment. If our school provides trips of this nature, student will knowmore about our school. At last, the more students visit our college; the more students will be impressed and will apply for our college. 下面的一再重复，令人读后觉得很罗嗦，上面已经很清楚了。 整段可以删除 All in all, the field trip to our college will enable students to have the clear image of the college, and it can let them know our academic standard. I hope this trip can attract more good seniors to apply our college, and I hope you can adopt my suggestion.
九尾天使
(First), I love pink and my mother print my bedroom pink. So I love my lovely bedroom. (Second), my bedroom was design by my mother and my bedroom looks like princess’s room. (Third), I have my bedroom four years, I have a deep love for it. In spring, summer, autumn, winter, I stay at there. However I’m sad, happy, blue, hopeless, I sleep in my princess’s bed. So I love everything in my bedroom. Finally, I think I can do anything what I want to do. I can dance, sing songs, shout, sleep, surf the Internet, watch TV, talk with my friends in the phone, read books and so on. I think my bedroom can give me freedom. I love my bedroom, I love my personal place, I love my free place.
秋末夏初
I really want to learn a new skill-----palying basketball. Because palying basketball has 【many】 advantages. Firstly, palying basketball can 【help me to】lose weight 【and】 sharp my figure. And it can make the person to be high.【有利于长高，表达方式要改】 Secondly, it is so popular. So if I can play basketball. Others may think I’m cool and fashion. 【I can also communicate better with my friends by join in them in playing basketball】 Thirdly, 【it makes】a good chance 【to meet】some good friends. Because we think all people is our friends when we stand 【on】the same basketball court. It can make me have many new friend after a basketball game. I love this sport, I really want to learn this skill. 表达方式要更符合英语习惯，语言要更简洁祝好运！
