50字英语短文幽默

Advantages of Five-Day week A five-day week has been put into practice in China, which is welcomed by every-one.Families have benefited from it very much. Children are able to learn usefully skills, women have enough time to take care of the house or relax. society has also benefited from it.Then the shops and travel agency will have more customers.What's more, individuals can make full use of a weekend for a good rest. Adequate rest will enable him to work more efficiently.

Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning." "That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?" 安眠药 鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。 星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。” “好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？” Creative Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job. I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed. 创造性 第一次求职时，我意识到在列举我所具备的为数不多的条件时，得有点创造性。当问及我是否受过其它的培训时，我老实地回答说我花了三年时间学计算机程序设计课。我得到了那份工作。 我没有提到那门功课我重复学了三年才考及格。The Happy Shoemaker快乐的鞋匠Publisher:lthldm Date:2011-06-28Once there lived a rich merchant and a poor shoemaker in the same house. The merchant occupied in the same house. The merchant occupied the second floor, but the shoemaker lived and worked in a small room on the first floor. The shoemaker was one of the happiest persons on earth. He worked from morning till night, singing merrily. His heart was filled with joy, whenever he looked at the boots and shoes to be repaired. Now the merchant upstairs was so rich that he hardly knew how much wealth he had. He was always counting over his gold and silver coins far into the night. Even in bed his uneasiness about his riches kept him awake when at last he had been asleep for an hour or two, up came the song of the happy shoemaker, who was an early riser.It continued all day and was a trouble to the merchant day by day the merchant grew more and more tired through want of sleep he asked a wise friend of his how he could put an end to the shoemaker's song. “Well, if I were you, I would give the shoemaker a hundred pounds,” answered his friend. “You are rich enough to do that, I suppose. Ask for nothing in return. Simply give the money. ”The merchant readily followed the advice.参考译文：曾经有一位富商在同一所房屋和一个贫穷的鞋匠。商人住在同一个房子。商人占据了二楼，但鞋匠生活和工作在一个小房间在一楼。鞋匠是地球上最幸福的人之一。他曾从早忙到晚，欢快地歌唱。他的心充满了喜悦，每当他在靴子和鞋子看着被修复。现在的商人楼上是如此丰富，他几乎不知道他有多少财富。他总是在他的金牌数，远到深夜银币。即使在床上，他对他的财富使他清醒时的不安，最后他已沉睡了一两个小时，来到了鞋匠的快乐歌，谁是早起。它持续了一整天，是一天天向商家一天的麻烦商人越想越通过睡眠要他问了他的明智的朋友，他怎么能杜绝鞋匠的歌曲累。 “好吧，如果我是你，我便给鞋匠一百斤”，回答他的朋友。 “你有钱，足以做到这一点，我想。要求什么回报。只要给的钱。他说：“商人容易遵循的意见。

Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

1I Don‟t Like HerBob goes to a new school.One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks.“I don‟t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.”我不喜欢她鲍勃的去了所新学校。一天,他回到家,他妈妈问他:“你喜欢你的新老师吗?”“不,我不喜欢她,妈妈。因为她先说3加3等于6,然后她又说2加4等于6.”2Ten CandiesMother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”“Ten.” Jim says.“Ten?” Mother asks.Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn‟t it right?”十块糖妈妈问儿子:“吉姆,如果你有10块糖,吃了4块,那你还有几块糖?”“10块。”吉姆说。“10块?”妈妈问。“是的,妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面,6块在肚子外面,4加6等于10,不对吗?”3Where is the egg?Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"?Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday.Teacher: Then where is the “egg"?Student: In the cake, sir.鸡蛋在哪里?老师:你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗?学生:可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。老师:“鸡蛋”在哪?学生:在蛋糕里,先生4Count Tomorrow M1I Don‟t Like HerBob goes to a new school.One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks.“I don‟t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.”我不喜欢她鲍勃的去了所新学校。一天,他回到家,他妈妈问他:“你喜欢你的新老师吗?”“不,我不喜欢她,妈妈。因为她先说3加3等于6,然后她又说2加4等于6.”2Ten CandiesMother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”“Ten.” Jim says.“Ten?” Mother asks.Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn‟t it right?”十块糖妈妈问儿子:“吉姆,如果你有10块糖,吃了4块,那你还有几块糖?”“10块。”吉姆说。“10块?”妈妈问。“是的,妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面,6块在肚子外面,4加6等于10,不对吗?”3Where is the egg?Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"?Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday.Teacher: Then where is the “egg"?Student: In the cake, sir.鸡蛋在哪里?老师:你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗?学生:可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。老师:“鸡蛋”在哪?学生:在蛋糕里,先生4Count Tomorrow MorningIt‟s a night. John is looking at the sky.Tom is John‟s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?”John says, “I‟m counting stars.”Tom laughs and says, “It‟s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?”明天早上数一个晚上, 约翰抬头看着天空。汤姆是约翰的弟弟。他问约翰:“你在干什么?”约翰说:“我在数星星。”汤姆笑着说:“现在天空太黑了。你为什么不等到明天早上再数呢?”5It Must Be CrowdedA teacher is telling his students, “The moon is very large. Several millions of people can live there.”And a boy laughs and says, “It must get crowded when it‟s a crescent moon.”一定很拥挤一位老师告诉学生们:“月亮非常大,上面能住几百万人。”一个男孩笑着说:“当月亮变成月牙的时候,住在上面的人该多拥挤啊!

J: Hi, David, how is everything? D: not bad. And you? J: I’m fine. Thank you. Where are you going with this big bag? D: I’m going to do my laundry now. But I am quite nervous because I have never used the washing machine. J: Don’t worry about it. I’m going to the laundromat too. Follow me, please. I will show you how to use it. D: thanks so much. J: you are welcome. That’s what friends are for. Ok, let me show you now. First you load the machine with your dirty clothes. D: ok. Then what? J: Make sure you close the door tight.then you put some detergent in the soak section. D: I did it already. J: Just turn the machine on and press down to the soak cycle. D: how long do I have to wait to put softeners? J: You have to wait for about 7 minutes. When you see the red arrow points to the 9 which is 10:45, you may add two cups of softeners. D: How many times will it rinse the clothes? J: I think three times. Please don't open the door while the light is red. D: How do I know I finish cleaning? J: wait for the light to come to a complete stop. I think that’s it. Simple, right? D: yes, thank you so much. J: anytime. Bye! D: bye!