搞笑英文小品3分钟

旁白：在很久很久以前，有一个叫XX的王国，里面住着国王一家人，还有若干仆人，但是，国王和王后没有孩子……王后祈祷状：神啊，请赐给我一个皮肤像雪一样白，嘴唇像血一样红的孩子吧~PS：我要男孩！旁白：神听到了王后的祈祷，于是，派了一只乌鸦叼了一个婴孩给王后。乌鸦上场：傻瓜，傻瓜，傻瓜……（龙套过场，丢下一婴孩）王后惊喜的喊：阿娜答，快来看看，这是上天赐给我们的礼物啊~国王上场：哦，我的上帝，真是个美丽的孩子，亲爱的，我看我们就叫他XX吧~王后反对：不，我觉得叫XX更好听。国王伸手：那好吧~老规矩！王后和国王猜拳：石头、剪子、布！王后雀跃的看着孩子：哦也~亲爱的XX，以后你的名字就叫XX了哦~（XX的我很汗啊~）国王宣布：为了庆祝我老来得子，我要宴请天下臣民，来啊，摆个三天三夜的流水席！某财政长官哭喊着上：陛下，我们要工资！国王一挥手，财政长官被士兵拖下。国王沉思状：看来还是光请些重量级的人物就好了……旁白：于是，国王和王后邀请了被称之为“十三点”的仙女组合，来为公主洗礼。仙女1：我赐予小公主和我一样无与伦比的美貌！（旁白：呕吐~）仙女2：我赐予小公主无与伦比的智慧，就像我一样！（旁白：8+8=？ 仙女2不假思索的回答：27！）仙女3：我，我赐予小公主，无，无与伦比的，口，口才……（旁白直接上来贴橡皮膏）仙女4：我赐予小公主像我一样的温柔性情，哦活活~（三段式大笑~）仙女5：我赐予小公主善良的心！（阴险的拿起草人，我钉我钉我钉钉钉~）仙女6：我赐予小公主正直勇敢的心！克塞前来拜访！（或者代表月亮惩治罪恶，也可以~关键是动作！）（旁白：啊，蟑螂啊~ 仙女6：救命啊~瞬间跑没影了~）仙女7：我赐予小公主永远也不变形的身材！（大象的照片就此走过~）仙女8：我要赐予小公主美妙的嗓音！（后台响起锯床腿的声音~）仙女9：我赐予小公主永远也花不完的金钱！（国王点头中：还是这个实用点~）仙女10：我会保佑小公主永远受到人民的爱戴！仙女11：我会赐予小公主幸福！仙女12：我要赐给小公主我们“13点”组合的思维逻辑！哦活活~（众人企求状： ……ya ma da……）仙女13：我要赐予小公主……旁白：正在最后一位仙女要赐予小公主祝福的时候，突然之间电闪雷鸣，世界发生了异变（语气异常的沉重~）不明人物1登场：为了防止世界被破~~坏 （抖几声~）不明人物2：为了维护世界的和~~平 （继续抖~）1：换之爱与真实的邪恶 2：可恶又讨厌的反派角色！ 1指着自己：x魔女 2同样指着自己：跟班儿…… 1&2拥抱在一起：我们是穿梭在xyz中的x组合！！ 1伸出手臂做期待状：黑洞，黑色的明天在等着我们！ 乌鸦跑龙套：就是这样！傻瓜~傻瓜~旁白惊恐：大事不好了，万恶的魔女出现了！魔女（一手指天一手指地，做唯我独尊状）：这么大的一个宴会居然没有邀请我这个宇宙间第一玉树临风、英俊潇洒、风流倜傥的魔女？！国王：那个，是因为您老老搬家，所以……魔女手一挥：辩解无用！既然大家都送了小公主礼物，那我也来送一样吧~（当当当当~跟班敲手鼓ing~）小公主确实无忧无虑的生活着，但到了16岁生日那天，她就会被一根香蕉给噎死，哇哈哈哈哈~~~噎死吧~~~旁白：停停停，不是应该被纺车给扎死吗？魔女：你家有纺车吗？旁白：木有！魔女：都什么年代了，换点花样吧~旁白：但是……魔女（威胁）：我说是噎死的就是噎死的，你再废话，我咬死你哦~旁白苦大仇深状：于是，可怜的公主就这样被可恶的魔女诅咒了！魔女欢快的：你是风儿我是沙，缠缠绵绵绕天涯……（退场~）国王和王后担心的：怎么办啊？我可怜的孩子居然被诅咒了……仙女13：请不要担心，我的祝福还没有送出呢？国王：那你为什么不送呢？仙女13羞怯的：因为我这里的热线比较忙~王后：请仙女赶快解除魔女的诅咒吧~仙女13：好吧~我所给的祝福就是：小公主会在16岁生日那天被一根香蕉噎着，但不会死去，而是沉睡，直到一个真心爱着她的王子出现亲吻她一下，那时小公主就会醒来，并且永远幸福的生活下去。国王：为什么不一下子解除魔女的诅咒呢？仙女13双手交握：因为这样比较浪漫啊~众人上来一阵狂踩：打你个有虐待倾向的……旁白：暴力场面请自动忽略，时间过的飞快，一眨眼，公主已经16岁了，她真是又美丽又善良，家中闲妻良母的典范啊~公主跳着上场：我是女生，漂亮的女生~先发一半，后面的再说~找人算帐去 Voice: In the long, long time ago, there was a kingdom called XX, which is home to the King family, there are a number of servants, but the king and queen had no children ... ...Queen-like prayer: Oh God, please give me a skin as white as snow, lips as red as the blood of children bar ~ PS: I want a boy!Voice: God heard the Queen's prayer, then, sent a crow Diao had a baby to the Queen.Crows play: Fool, fool, a fool ... ... (bit-part player off the market, leaving a baby)Queen surprise shouted: Ana A., come take a look, this is a gift God has given us ah ~King of play: Oh, my God, is indeed a beautiful child, my dear, I think we told him to XX Bar ~Queen Against: No, I think that is called XX to listen better.King of Hand: Well ~ the old rules!Queen and King of finger-guessing game: stone, scissors, cloth!Queen of watching kids jump for joy: Oh, also ~ Dear XX, after your name called XX oh ~ (XX's I sweat ah ~)King announced: To celebrate the old and I come son, I want the world entertained subjects, to ah, put a three days and three nights Liushui Xi!A Financial Executive cried on: Your Majesty, we have to pay!King of a wave, the Financial Executive's dragged off by soldiers.King of meditation-like: it seems light heavyweight figure like please some of the ... ...Voice Over: So, the king and queen were invited to be called "13:00" of the fairy combination to serve the Princess baptism.Fairy 1: I have given little princess and, like me unparalleled beauty! (Voice-over: vomiting ~)Fairy 2: I have given little princess unparalleled wisdom, just like me! (Voice-over: 8 +8 =? Fairy 2 unthinking answer: 27!)Fairy 3: I, I bestowed little princess, none, none, and mouth, eloquence ... ... (narration directly onto plaster paste)Fairy 4: I have given little princess, like me, gentle temperament, oh alive ~ (three-laughs ~)Fairy 5: I have given little princess good heart! (Insidious take drafter, I have my nails nails nail nails I ~)Fairy 6: I have given little princess upright Braveheart! P. Doxey to come visit! (Or on behalf of the moon punishment of sin, can also be ~ The key is action!) (Voice-over: ah, cockroaches ah ~ Fairy 6: The life-saving ah ~ instant run did not affect the ~)Fairy 7: I have never given a small deformation of the Princess's body! (Elephant photos of this walk ~)Fairy 8: I would like to gift a wonderful little princess's voice! (Background voices sounded sawing legs ~)Fairy 9: I have given little princess will never Hua Buwan money! (The king nodded in: or whether this practical point of ~)Fairy 10: I will bless the little princess loved by the people forever!Fairy 11: I will be given a happy little princess!Fairy 12: I want to give our little princess "13 points" combination of logic! Oh, alive ~ (everyone begging like: ... ... ya ma da ... ...)Fairy 13: I would like to gift Little Princess ... ...Voice: are in the final to be a fairy princess gift of a small blessing, when all of a sudden lightning, the world has mutation (abnormal tone, heavy ~)Unknown persons a debut: In order to prevent the world is broken ~ ~ bad (shaking several more ~)Unknown figure 2: In order to safeguard the world and ~ ~ ping (continued shaking ~)1: The words of love and the true evil2: The odious villains in another nasty!One pointed to his: x Witch2 Similarly, pointing to myself: myrmidon children ... ...1 & 2 hug together: we are shuttling in the xyz combination of x! !Do look like a stretched out arm: a black hole, black waiting for us tomorrow!Crows play a small role: that way! Fool ~ fool ~Voice panic: big bad, evil witch appeared!Witch (a finger Tianyi finger, and worked extremely conceited like): such a big surprise, did not invite me to a party in this universe, first jade tree, handsome, suave romantic of the witch? !King: That is because you gently move, so ... ...Witch Hand wave: excuse useless! As we all send a small princess gift, then I also came to send the same bar ~ (Dangdang Dangdang ~ attendant knocked tambourine ing ~) Little Princess is indeed a carefree life, but the 16-year-old birthday, she will be a banana to噎死, Guwahati Ha ha ha ~ ~ ~噎死Bar ~ ~ ~Voice Over: stop-stop, not a spinning wheel to the Zhasi should be do?Witch: Do you have a spinning wheel at home do?Voice Over: Wood there!Witch: What are the age, and change-point pattern bar ~Voice: But ... ...Witch (threats): I say yes噎死is噎死, you again bullshit, I bite you oh ~Voice Kudachoushen like: As a result, the poor Princess was thus hateful witch cursed!Witch cheerful: You are Feng ER I was sand, Chanchanmianmian around the horizon ... ... (exit ~)King and Queen worried about: how do ah? My poor child was surprised to be cursed ... ...Fairy 13: Please do not worry, I have not yet sent it the blessing?King: Then why do you not send it?Fairy 13 timid: because I am busy here hotline ~Queen: Please fairy quickly lift the witch's curse Bar ~Fairy 13: Okay ~ I have given the blessing is this: Little Princess will be 16-year-old birthday was a banana choke, but not dead, but sleeping, until one really loves her prince appeared kiss her, At that time little princess will wake up and live happy forever.King: Why do not suddenly lift the witch's curse do?Fairy 13 hands handshake: Because this is more romantic ah ~Everyone stepped up a while mad: hit you have a tendency to abuse ... ...Voice: violence scenes please ignore the automatic, time-off fast, blink of an eye, Princess Margaret was 16 years old, and she is really beautiful and kind-hearted, family Shizuma good example of Mother ah ~Princess jumping play: I am a girl, beautiful girls ~Pre-emptive half, the latter accounts say ~ looking for someone to go

你找六个人在一直,一个人说100个字,三分钟就到了,你试一下100个字能说什么?别把什么东西都拿来当小品演.任何艺术形式都有要求的,而且,你见过六个人的小品吗?那是舞台剧.要么就是龙套演员,站在那儿当道具.

老鼠嫁女儿角色(character):鼠爸爸（f）、太阳（sun）、云（cloud）、风（wind）、墙（wall）Once upon a time, there was a mouse father. （很久很久以前，有一个老鼠爸爸）He wanted to marry his daughter to the greatest person in the world. （他想要将他的女儿嫁给世界上最伟大的人）But, who was the greatest person in the world? （但是，谁是世界上最伟大的人呢？）Oh! The sun! He must be the greatest person in the world. （啊！是太阳！他一定是世界上最伟大的人） The mouse father went to talk to the sun. （老鼠爸爸就去找太阳说话）f -------“Hello! Mr. Sun. I know you are the greatest person in the world. （哈啰！太阳先生，我知道你是世界上最伟大的人） Would you marry my daughter?” （你愿意娶我的女儿吗？）sun-------“What? I’m not the greatest person in the world. The greatest person is the cloud. （什么？我才不是世界上最伟大的人呢！最伟大的应该是云） If he comes out, I’ll be covered.” （只要他一出现，我就被遮住了）The mouse father went to talk to the cloud.（老鼠爸爸就去找云）f-------“Hello! Mr. Cloud. I know you are the greatest person in the world. （哈啰！云先生，我知道你是世界上最伟大的人） Would you marry my daughter?” （你愿意娶我的女儿吗？） cloud------“What? I’m not the greatest person in the world. The greatest person is the wind. （什么？我才不是世界上最伟大的人呢！最伟大的应该是风） If he comes out, I’ll be blown away.” （只要他一出现，我就被吹的远远的）The mouse father went to talk to the wind. （老鼠爸爸就去找风）f--------“Hello! Mr. Wind. I know you are the greatest person in the world.（哈啰！风先生，我知道你是世界上最伟大的人） Would you marry my daughter?” （你愿意娶我的女儿吗？）wind-------“What? I’m not the greatest person in the world. The greatest person is the wall. （什么？我才不是世界上最伟大的人呢！最伟大的应该是墙） If he comes out, I’ll be stopped.” （只要他一出现，我就被挡住了）The mouse father went to talk to the wall. （老鼠爸爸就去找墙）f-------“Hello! Mr. Wall. I know you are the greatest person in the world. （哈啰！墙先生，我知道你是世界上最伟大的人） Would you marry my daughter?” （你愿意娶我的女儿吗？）wall------“What? I’m not the greatest person in the world. The greatest person is YOU, the mouse.” （什么？我才不是世界上最伟大的人呢！最伟大的其实是你们！是老鼠！）f-------“The greatest person in the world is … mouse?” （世界上最伟大的人…是老鼠？）wall-------“Yes, the greatest person in the world is mouse. See? If mouse comes out, I’ll be bit!” （没错！世界上最伟大的就老鼠.明白吗？如果老鼠来了，我就会被穿过）要是这个你不喜欢的话还有这个和这个