英语幽默小品视频

中学英语小品-Little Red Riding HoodLittle Red Riding Hood：Ashley（需有舞蹈动作） Dad：Lan Foxes：Wison TimDucks：Suzy Vivian（需有舞蹈动作） Wolf：Daisy Hunter：Linda Grandpa：Bruce：Little Red Riding Hood家 音乐1起Dad： (爸爸拿着一个篮子，把桌子上的水果放在篮子里）Little Red Riding Hood:(唱着歌，欢快地跑进来）Hi, dad, what are you doing？Dad： （一边把水果放在篮子里，心事重重地说）Grandpa is ill. Here are some apples and bananas forGrandpa. Take them to Grandpa.Little Red Riding Hood：（边提起篮子，边点头说）Ok!Dad： （亲切地看着Little Red Riding Hood说） Be good. Be careful.Little Red Riding Hood： Yes , dad．Goodbye, dad.Dad： Bye-bye. Darling.(一阵轻快的音乐2由远而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎着篮子蹦跳跳地)Little Red Riding Hood: Wow, So many flowers, how beautiful!Fox A: Hi, little girl. what are you doing here? There is a wolf here.Little Red Riding Hood: I am going to grandma’s home.Fox B: Be careful！It must like to eat you.Little Red Riding Hood: oh, really?Fox A: Yes, he’s very cruel.Little Red Riding Hood: Thank you very much!Foxes: Take care of yourself! Bye-bye!(Little Red Riding Hood挎着篮子继续蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁)Little Red Riding Hood： I like the pink flowers! （放下篮子采花）One flower ,two flowers, threeflowers...Wolf：（随着一阵低沉的音乐3，Wolf大步地走上台）I am a wolf. I am hungry. (做找东西状,东张西望)Here is a little girl. Hi! Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going? (做狡猾的样子和Little Red Riding Hood打招呼)Little Red Riding Hood：(手摸辫子，天真地回答)To Grandpa’s．Grandpa is ill.Wolf：（自言自语）I' ll eat Grandpa. But……（对Little Red Riding Hood说）Hey, look! 6 littlebaby ducks. Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大树后）音乐4起Little Red Riding Hood：（停止跳舞）Hello! Baby ducks，How are you?Duck A: We are fine. Thank you. Can we help you?Little Red Riding Hood：No thank you.Duck B: What are you doing here?Little Red Riding Hood：Grandpa is ill. I am going to grandpa’s home.Duck A: Oh, you should be careful. There is a wolf.Little Red Riding Hood：Yes, foxes told me. Oh, I must go to grandpa’s home now, bye.Duck B：Goodbye.( Little Red Riding Hood下场，ducks随后下场)Grandpa:（喘着气出场，颤颤悠悠地走到床前，坐到床边，喘了几口，打几个哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。）Wolf：（从树后出来，边走边说）I am very hungry now. (做找寻的样子)Where is Grandma’s house? (高兴地对观众说)Aha , it’s here.(敲门)Bang, Bang, Bang．Grandpa： Who is it？Wolf：（装出Little Red Riding Hood的声音，一边得意地摇动尾巴）It’s me. Little Red Riding Hood.Grandpa： (边说边起床) Come in, come in.Wolf：(得意洋洋地走到床边) Grandma , I’ll eat you.Grandpa： （惊慌失措地抓紧衣服，瞪着眼睛，边叫迫从床上滚到地上）灰狼把外婆吞到了肚子里。Wolf：（得意地拍拍肚子，翘起大拇指）Yummy！I’ll sleep.Little Red Riding Hood：(高兴地敲门)Grandpa．Grandpa．Wolf：(装扮成Grandma的声音) Who is it？Little Red Riding Hood：It’s me。Little Red Riding Hood. What a strange noise!Wolf：Come in， Come in.Little Red Riding Hood：(蹦跳着进来，把篮子放在桌上，走到床前看，跳回几步)Oh! What are big ears!Wolf：I can listen to your sweet voice.Little Red Riding Hood：Wow! What a big eyes!Wolf：I can see you pretty face.Little Red Riding Hood：Oh! What a big hand.Wolf：I can hug you.Little Red Riding Hood：（跪在床前，拉起Wolf的手，边摸边说）Look! What a big hands?Wolf：(从床上跳起来说)I can eat you!Little Red Riding Hood：(拼命地跑)Oh！No! No!Wolf：（追到Little Red Riding Hood，做吃状，拍拍肚子）It’s yummy. I still sleep. I like sleeping.Hunter： (一边拿着枪，一边寻找出场)Where’s the wolf? Look! A door．(推门)The wolf is sleeping.Wolf：(发出呼呼的响声)Hunter：(端起枪想打，又放下)What a big stomach! (摸摸Wolf的肚子)Grandpa and Little Red RidingHood are inside .I must be hurry．(从桌紫拿起剪刀，举起) Look! Scissors. (做剪Wolf的肚子)Cut, cut, cut.Little Red Riding Hood/Grandpa：Thank you．Hunter： Grandpa ,give me some needles and thread。Little Riding Hood ,Give me some stones．Grandpa： (从桌紫拿来针线)Little Red Riding Hood：(搬来几个石头)One, two, three.Hunter： (把小石头装进Wolf的衣服里)Grandpa： I'll thread it.Hunter： (拿起枪)Woke up!Wolf：(起床，两手托着大肚子)My stomach is so heavy.Hunter： You big bad wolf, raise your arms!Wolf：(边跑边说) Help! Don’t shot me!Hunter： （开枪）Bang, bang!Wolf： (应声倒下)Hunter： The bad wolf is dead．Little Red Riding Hood和Grandpa：Yeah! Thank you．Little Red Riding Hood、Grandpa、Hunter（一起鞠躬）: Thank you

Global warming A． Class begins,good afternoon everyone.B． C.D ：Good afternoon,teacher.A.First,I will ask you a question:What is the serious problem nowadays B.I think it’s the problem of environment pollution.A.It’s related to our correct answer.But it isn’t correct one.B.Is it the problem of population increasing?A.No.C.Oh.I got it.It’s global warming.A.Right!Global warming is one of the serious problems nowadays.Because…… B.Teacher.I have a question.It was very cold indeed this winter.I think it’s global cooling!A.You got the wrong concept.Global warming doesn’t only mean that the weather is getting hot,but also mean that the weather is out of control.So it will be sometimes very cold.B.Teacher.What causes “ global warming”?C.I know.Now people drive too many cars and the exhaust gases discharged by the cars and lorries pollute the air and also destroy the nature.It causes global warming.A.You are right.Do you know what will happen with the global warming?B.Yes.The ices in South Pole are going to be melted and at the time,many islands will be gradually flooded with water.Human will have no places to live.C.Surely,we don’t want that will happen.A.What sould we do to stop “Global warming”?B.I think we can protect the environment from ourselves.We can plant trees C.When we are protecting the environment,we are saving ourselves.A.Ok.Students,we can’t only speak but not do later .Let us go planting trees.D.Oh,teacher!Tomorrow is March the twelfth,it’s tree-planting day!A.Yes!Now all of you know the importance of protecting the environment.B．C．D．Let us do our best to stop “Global warming” and make our earth a lovely homeland!A.That is good .I hope you all will be succeeded in protecting the environment.Now the class is over bye-bye students!B.C.D.good bye.Teacher.

语搞笑话剧《孔雀东南飞》 作者：佚名 文章来源：本站原创 点击数：7713 更新时间：2005-11-27 Wanderseveryfivemiles 焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort) 焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort) 太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC) Prologue本文转自：小品剧本，简历封面，免费电影 (J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪) J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy wifeisWuSong. (指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou! (内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom? MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme, smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender thanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell! (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J) MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下) Act1 (序幕结束时,JM作窃听状) JM(拄拐棍上):Ican! (对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou? L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum? JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland dearestmother-in-law”. L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup? JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so lazy…… L:But…… JM:Neverinterruptme! L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall daylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken and…… JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson! L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour son.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下) Act2 (LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上) L:Mum,I’mback! LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened? L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law. LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon marryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten tome.Lookatyourself…… L:But,mum…… LM:Neverinterruptme! L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?And I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto. LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:“Ifyoudaughter Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo andtellhim.(下) L(惊愕):What?Themayor’sson?Themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅 铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下) Act3本文转自：小品剧本，简历封面，免费电影 (J睡眼惺忪上) J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks? (走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty! (突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself. (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围 裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now shehasgone.Ihavetocookformymotherandmyself. JM(上):Where’smybreakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’tshegotupyet? J:Mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhasgone! JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice girl,goandtakeherback! J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam! Act4 (J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗) A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous! Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上) B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上) C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚) AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney! J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is1maoenough? (三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量) A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken! B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight! C:Iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangoand robthewedding! A&B:Goodidea! J(惊讶):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It’simpossible! AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple! J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet! (突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?I’llgo withyou.YoutakethemoneyandItakethebride. B:Haveyougotanyexperience? J:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000) Act5 (转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台) (J和三强盗跃至台中) ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous! A:Theroadisbuiltbyme! B:AndIplantedonetree. C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet--- J:Giveusallyourmoney! (L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头) L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后) (MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒) J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向MS冲去） (J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS) (J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前) J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,howareyou? L(哭状):Ihurtalot! J:Don’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthemedicine. (下) L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下) (音乐起 CanYouCelebrate)A man took a pair of shoes to a shoe repair shop and said to the shoemaker, "I'd like you to repair these shoes for me, please." "Certainly, sir," the shoemaker said. "When will they be ready?" the man asked. "I'm a bit busy, but they'll probably be ready for you on Thursday," he said. "That's fine," the man said, and left the shop. The next morning he received a letter, offering him a job in another country. Within 24 hors he was on an airplane to his new job. Twenty years passed and he returned to his hometown. He remembered his shoes. "They were a good pair of shoes," he thought. "I wonderif the shoemaker is still there and still has them. I'll go and see." He was pleased to see that the shoemaker was still in the same shop, although he was an old man by now. "Good morning," he said to him. "Twenty years ago, Ibrought in a pair of shoes to be repaired. Do you think you've still got them?" "Name?" the old shoemaker asked. "Smith," the man said. "I'll go and see. They may be out back." The shoemaker went out to the back of his shop and a few minutes later returned, carrying the pair of shoes. "Here we are," he said. "One pair of brown shoes to be repaired. I'm a bit busy now but they'll probably be ready on Thursday