隐逸的军装梦
It is important to know how to do（deal) with the rubbish in cities.Rubbish must be treatedproperly.Thus,it was cause(caused was 要去掉的）) a lot of problems.It may pollute the air and water.Whenpeople breathe the polluted air or drunk(drank) the polluted water ,we may get ill.Our cityhas began(begun) to pay attention to the problem.As far as I know ,some rubbish is sortedand sent to different factroy（factories) .Rubbish such as old newspapers and glass(glasses) arerecycled. Some harmful rubbish is sent to a certain place and buried.Waste air is(had)treated before it poured into rivers .To protect from(去掉from) the environment ,the government has passed laws to provent people throwing rubbish everywhere.We should do our best to take good care of the environment and fignt againstpollution.
yangjiefox
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李老根记
1、program called 2、对的3、choose from from去掉4、middle school student（s）复数5、6、showed （us） how to do our homework7、（made） sure of our safety8、i learned a lot from如果就此完了，后面没this program 则去掉from其他就没改出了 @_@
京荣盛门业
I joined a program call（called） the"happy school"in the holidays .it was given to some volunteers from（by） the universities in our city .there were many courses ,including photography ,painting ,(and) basketball training from which we can choose .(改成定语从句较好)these courses were intended to help us middle school student in the countryside who are left -behind （改成定语从句）。our parents are working in other cities , so they hold this activity in order to make our holidays interesting.（用make use of 不好， 改成make ...interesting ）The volunteers took good care of us ,care about safety and showed us (them 改成us才符合逻辑)how to do our homework . And we learned a lot from this activity.有些地方改动较大， 没有完全标出来。总体上这篇作文写的还可以，能学会用一些从句或非谓语动词， 将逻辑理顺，适当用一些连词。
欧比诺橱柜
1. while→when 2. greatly→great 3. has→had 4. walk→walking 5. but→and 6. As和result中间加入a 7. √ 8. his→their 9. 去掉not 10. to→with when除了可以做从属连词，表示“当...时候”引导时间状语从句外，还可以做并列连词，像and/but那样引导两个并列句，此时when=and then, 翻译为“就在这时”。而前面的句子也有特征：前句经常是过去进行时或be about to do sth或过去完成时；但是while并没有这种用法。 如：Today I was having a PE lesson when I fell down and hurt my foot. 今天我正在上体育课，就在这时我摔倒了且伤到了脚。 I was about to leave when the phone rang. 我正要离开，就在这时电话响了。 I had read the book in the room for two hours when I found the door locked. 我在房间里读这本书读了两个小时了，就在这时我发现门锁了。
德古拉之吻~
It is important to know how to manage (用管理处置比较好） the rubbish in the (要加顶冠词） cities. Rubbish must be treated properly.Otherwise (取代thus, 指否则）,it would(委婉语气， 表达有这个可能性) cause a lot of problems. It may pollute the air and water. When people breathe in (加in在breahe后指吸入) the polluted air or drink （用一般时态因为前面的breathe也是一般时态来维持语态一致） the polluted water ,they (取代we, 用人称一致， 因为前面你提及到people他们) may get sick (取代ill, 因为用ill时， 前面要用be). Our city has begun (begun是过去分词， 而began是过去式）paying (取代to pay, 强调现在进行， 而不是将要进行像to pay) attention to the problem.As far as I know ,some rubbish is sorted and sent to different factories (用复数， 因为不同的工厂是多于一个的).Rubbish, (用逗号） such as old newspapers and glass，（用逗号把这句子分开做从句来修饰前面的名词） are recycled. Some harmful rubbish is sent to （却掉a, 因为 place后加复数）certain places to be （去掉and, 用to be指被什么的 ) buried.Waste water （waste air是气体， 怎能可以倒在水里呢？） is treated before being (前有介词，后加动词ing) poured into the（加顶冠词）rivers .To protect （去掉from, 指保护， 若加from就是从某某里保护， 这里是要保护环境吧？）the environment ,the government has passed several (加several表示几条）laws to prevent people from (prevent from是阻止某某做某事）throwing rubbish everywhere.We should do our best to take good care of the environment and fignt againstpollution.
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