我叫马三顺
搞笑英语话剧剧本《 荆珂刺秦王》 旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman剑客 and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?太子丹晕倒荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：To be or not to be, that's a question.阿三：Hero，we need your help.荆柯：I am busy now! （本文来自天空剧本网）太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荆柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?荆柯：I am very very busy now!阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!阿三：What? What’s the TCM?荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.荆柯（激动）：Slimming减食疗法 tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗……荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!Action Ш （《大话西游》主题曲响起）荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends太子丹：I will miss you, baby.（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》） 荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.妻子:"I promise."荆轲:"Never let go. “ 妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."（荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，荆珂上船，渐渐远去妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never……妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.阿三：Okay okay!旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng. -fin-【中票在线 为您解答。官方订票网址为：更多可点击：关注中票在线，了解最新的演出资讯！欢迎在微信添加好友里搜索：chinaticketvip ，加中票在线为微信好友。期待你的关注^^】
stella59444
英语短剧：The Fox and the Tiger（狐假虎威） T---Tiger F---Fox R---Rabbit B---Bird Fr---Frog B----Bear Tiger: I’m a great tiger. I’m very strong. I’m very brave. I’m the king of the forest.But now I’m very hungry. I must find sth. to eat at once, or I’ll die immediately. Oh, there’s nothing here. And here is nothing, either. Oh, I want to have a rest. (Sleep soundly) Fox: I’m a fox. You can see, I’m pretty and lovely. I’m good at cheating 0and telling lies. Just now I cheated a crew out of a piece of meat. Mm, Mm, Mm. How delicious it is! Tiger: Ah, a fox. A good meal. Ah, a good meal. Fox: Oh, my God! What should I do? Yes, I have a good idea. Yes, a good idea. Hello! Tiger sister! How are you? Tiger: Not so good. I’m very hungry now. I want to eat you. Fox: Oh, my dear! How dare you say that! I’m the king of the forest! I’m the king of the forest! If you want to eat me, I will let you die right now. Tiger: She is the king. She is cheating me. I can’t belive her. I’m the king of the forest here. Fox: If you don’t believe me, just follow me and see who is the king of the forest. Tiger: Ok. Let’s go. Rabbit: I’m a rabbit. I like to eat a turnip. Ah, a big turnip. Oh! It’s too hard. I can’t pull it out. Bird: I’m a bird. Rabbit: Hi! Bird: Hi! What are doing here, Miss Rabbit? Can I help you? Rabbit: Yes, please. Frog: I’m a frog. Hello! What are you doing here? What can I do for you? R&B: Yes, come on! Frog : Ok! I’m coming! Bear: I’m a big brown bear. Hello, everyone! What are you doing here? R,B&F: Come on! Come on! Mr. Bear! You are so strong. Please come here. There is a big turnip. We are all puling it out. Please come and help us. Bear: Ok! I’m coming. Fox: Hello, Bear! Bear: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away) Fox: Hello, Frog! Frog: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away) Fox: Hello, Bird! Bird: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away) Fox: Hello, Rabbit! Rabbit: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away) Fox: Tiger, Now, you see. They are so frightened! They all run away! Tiger: Yes, you are right. It’s true. I’m very sorry. You are the king of the forest. That’s all right. I will run away. He is the king. He is the king. Fox: Wa! There is a big turnip. Now, the turnip belongs to me. 糊涂爷爷和赖皮孙子 P: Pirate-Grandson. M: Mother. F: Father. K: King -Grandpa.旁白: There are 4 members in a family, Pirate, a 7-year-old naughty boy. His mummy is a beautiful white-collar worker. His dad, Andy Lau is a famous singer, and his dear grandpa, King is a kindly old man. Pirate loves his grandpa most, because King is very spoiling him. He hates his parents. Frankly speaking, he is afraid of them, Because they are very strict with him. .正剧：(P,K出场)P: Old King, Open the TV, I want to see Tom and Jerry. I love that mouse. Quick! No time! I can’t wait another second.K: Oh dear! I nearly forget it. Don’t worry, I open it right now. (作开电视状)P: Ha Ha! It’s really funny! Tom is so good! (作高兴状) Oh no! “The End!” Where is Tom? I hate the end! (摔电视机，作极度气愤状) Old King!? (对K吼)K：Oh, what a pity dog! (作左顾右盼状) Your parents are not here ,and we can change another one ,our brave Pirate, just tell me. I’m sure your demand will be satisfied. (作充满自信状)P：Really! OK! Now, let’s watch Caribbean Pirates!K: Humm, No, it’s unfit for you…… (作犹豫状)P: I just like this film, Old King, you tell lies. You don’t keep your promise.（作气愤欲泣状）K; Oh yes, I play it for you. (作为难状) But please be quite, I’m afraid your parents wound not like us doing these.P: Don’t tell so much! I have been an adult man of 7 years old. I promise it to you. (作自豪自信状)K：OK. (作舒心，安慰状)P: Fight him, kill him. Throw these bad guys into the sea…… (高声喊)K: Xu …….. (作禁声状). Remember your promise, young adult man. P: Oh? What promise? I have forgotten it. (作天经地义状)K: Oh?! You are right（作理解状，因为Pirate一贯如此，出尔反尔）P: Old King. I give you an honorable mission. (作自豪状) Be my horse, and I will ride on your back , let’s help these people in dangerous situation, just like a brave knight.(作勇敢状)K: What! Ride on my back! Be your horse!!(作惊异状)P: Yes, your hearing is very good, any question? (作若无其事状)K: No, No, sound a good idea! Very good! You are a brave Pirate. Now come on my back. (作无奈状) P: (作高兴状，作跃上马背状) Hei! Let’s go! Kill all those bad men. Quick! Run quick! ....... (意气风发状)（M,F携手进场）:P: Oh, my god! Mummy, Daddy! (A,D作慌忙状，挡在电视机前)M: Dad, what are you doing!? Naughty Pirate, isn’t your trick!? (作气愤状)P:（作阳痿状） Mummy, it’s not my fault. Old king let me massage his back. Hei Hei (作心虚状，以掩饰内心的恐惧)M: I don’t believe it. (作严肃状) Dad, isn’t really that? (询问K)K: Yes, of course, I can’t image a child only 5 year old, can massage so good. Oh……. (释然状，因为圆了我的谎)M: Really. I don’t believe the litter pirate can massage, who taught him. (作怀疑状) Dear, isn’t you ?F: No, I haven’t, but I decide to enjoy his massage another day, Do you think so, dear?M: Yes, really a good suggestion.（P，D作惊恐状。A：发抖，D：挥汗)（P挡着电视怕被M、F发现，K也为P作掩饰）P: Mummy, Do you feel a little cold?K: Yes, I can feel it. (边挥汗边说冷)M: No, it’s summer. Really hot, do you catch cold?P: No, No, just my feeling. (更加发抖，一不小心被B看到了电视)M: Pirate, what’s behind you? (疑问状)P: Oh, nothing, nothing! (作惊恐状)M: Move away .little Pirate! (作气愤状)P: Oh no! The storm will come. (捂脸作害怕状)M: Caribbean Pirate! What’s a bad film! Little Pirate!? (气愤状)P: Mummy, I surrender. (作投降状)M: Daddy ,this film is unfit for him , it is full of killing，force and negative passion, and it will let him become bad !K: I know that, but I meat to let him watch Tom and Jerry and he like it very much. Yes? Pirate? (想转移话题与Pirate站在同一战线)P: Yes, a very clever mouse and a stupid cat. (作博学状)M: Dad, don’t let him watch so much TV, it wastes a lot of time, and it is bad for his eyesight. He may become short-sighted. (诚恳状)K: I know the disadvantage. But TV also teaches him a lot of things which he can’t learn from books, Such as survival ability and communication skills. (中气不足状，因为理由不充分)M: Just those force, fighting and cheat? (置疑状)P: Mummy, I apologize that I have cheated you. (诚恳状) I won’t do that next time. Can you forgive me this time, Mummy. (做鬼脸,逗妈妈开心)M: Pick up trick. It doesn’t work this time. (义正言辞状)P: Mummy, not next time, ok? ( 作悲伤状，以引起妈妈的同情)(M不理P)M: Dad. I know you love little pirate very much, but I think you should choose the right way. Spoiling is not true love. It’s the poison in honey. (作严肃状)F: Yes, Dad, Pirate has a lot of things to do. We should be his guide, not to carry out everything he said. We can bring him to the library to see what books attract him most. We can help him to develop his interest, shape his personality, and improve his intelligence and so on. I think it’s the right way to love our little Pirate. Do you think so, dear? (很理智，明晰状)M: It’s just what I want to say. (赞同状 ) F: Ok, I should change my way of loving him. I should let him do his own thing and be his guide. (作彻悟状)P: Oh, so much time has passed. I eager to go to wash room, I can’t bear it. (捂小腹，作难受状)K: Ok, I go to bring the paper, don’t worry! I’ll accompany with you. (作习惯性状，因为Pirate的大小便通常都由King主管)M、F：No, let him do that himself, and be his guide. (同声提醒K)K: Oh, yes, little Pirate, it’s your job now, nobody can help. You should do it yourself. (作揶揄状)P: Xi, I have been an adult man of 7 years old. I can do it. (跨进厕所，作藐视状，有什么大不了，不就进个厕所吗)M、F、K: Brave Pirate! (作自豪状，含有夸奖意)P: Oh, my god! The washroom is so large and dark! (害怕状，因为从末一个人进厕所)M、F、K: (All 晕倒)
木姑娘Zara
A:Hello,What can I do for you?B:Yes.I want to buy a computer.A:We have got many kinds of personal computer (个人电脑).This red one is called Kiwi,and it is designed eapecially(尤其是) for student.B:Where is it made in?A:It is made in Shenzhen.B:Is it used widely（广泛）?A:Of course,very widely in Beijing.B:OK.I'll think about（考虑)it.
呼啦啦呼嘞嘞
英语情景剧剧本：Three Little Pigs 三只小猪Three Little Pigs 三只小猪 Storyteller: There are three little pigs living with 讲故事者：三只小猪和他们的妈妈 their mother. Ding-Ding and Dong- 住在一起。丁丁和东东 Dong are brother pigs. They are very 是猪哥哥，他们很懒，他 Lazy. They eat and sleep all day. 们整天吃了就睡。龙龙是 Long-Long is the youngest pig. She 最小的，她整天帮着妈妈 works all day. She helps her mother 做家务。 to do the housework. Mother pig: You have grown up. You must make 猪妈妈：你们已经长大了，你们得 your own houses. 为自己盖间房。 Goodbye, little pigs. Build a house. 再见，孩子们。去盖间房。 Be careful of the wolf. 小心狼。 Pigs: Yes, Mum. Goodbye. 三只小猪：好的，妈妈。再见。 Wolf: I’m hungry. Look! Three little pigs 狼：我饿了。看，三只小猪可 for dinner. Mmm. 以做我的美餐。 Sister pig: What are you doing, brothers? 猪妹妹：哥哥，你们在干什么？ Ding-Ding: I’m building a house with leaves. 丁丁：我在用树叶盖房子。 Dong-Dong: I’m building a house with sticks. 东东：我在用树枝盖房子。 Sister pig: But leaves aren’t strong. 猪妹妹：可是树叶不牢固。树枝也不 And sticks aren’t strong. 牢固。 Brother pigs: Yes, we know. But it’s easy. 猪哥哥：我们知道。但它很容易。 What are you doing, sister? 你在干什么？ Sister pig: I’m building a house with bricks. 猪妹妹：我在用砖头盖房子。 Brother pigs: Bricks! That’s very difficult. 猪哥哥：用砖头盖，那太难了。 Sister pig: I know. But bricks are strong. 猪妹妹：我知道，可是砖头很坚固。 …… Brother pigs: Oh, we’re finished. Let’s have 猪哥哥：噢，我们盖好了。我们打 a nap. 个盹吧。 Sister pig: My house is finished. My house 猪妹妹：我的房子盖好了，我的房 is strong. 很坚固。 Wolf: Little pigs. Little pigs. Open your 狼： 小猪，小猪，快开门！ Doors! Brother pigs: No. No. Go away. 猪哥哥：不开，不开。快走开。 Wolf: This is very easy. Sticks and leaves 狼：这太容易了。树枝和树叶 aren’t strong. 都不牢固。 Storyteller: The wolf blows the houses down. 讲故事者：狼吹倒了房屋。
优质英语培训问答知识库
