Me馍馍27
Two pals are sitting in a pub watching the eleven-'clock news.A reporter comes on about a man threatening to jump from the 20th floor of a downtown building.One friend turns to the other and says,'I'll bet you ten bucks the guy doesn't jump.' 'It's a bet,' agrees his buddy. A few minutes later, the man on the ledge jumps,so the loser hands his pal a $10 bill.'I can't take your money,'his friend admits.'I saw him jump earlier on the six-o'clock news.' 'Me,too,'says the other buddy.'But I didn't think he'd do it again. 两个好朋友正坐在一家小酒馆内观看十一点的电视新闻。一则新闻报道说，有个男人威胁要从商业区一座大楼的二十层跳下去。一位朋友转身对另一位说道：“我敢赌十块钱，那家伙不会往下跳。” “赌就赌，”他的朋友欣然同意。 几分钟后，站在墙檐上的男人跳了下去，因而赌输的那位交给他的朋友一张十元的钞票。“我不能拿你的钱，”他的朋友承认道，“早在六点的新闻里，我就已见他跳下去了。” “我也是，”另一位说，“可我想他不会再跳了！” The Old Cat An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it. Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young." 【译文】 老猫 一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。 于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”
怀念橡皮筋
一、英语寓言小故事：老鼠和公牛
第一段：
A mouse once took a bite out of a bull's tail as he lay dozing.
译文：有一次，公牛躺着打盹，一只老鼠咬了他的尾巴。
The bull jumped up in a rage and， with his head low to the ground， chased the
mouse right across the yard.
译文：公牛怒气冲冲地跳起来，低着头追老鼠，一向追过院子。
The mouse was too quick for him， however， and slipped easily into a hole in the wall.
译文：然而，老鼠跑得比他快多了，从容地钻到墙洞里去了。
第二段：
The bull charged the wall furiously again and again， but although he bruised his head
and chipped his horns， the mouse stayed safely inside his hole。
译文：公牛一次又一次地猛撞墙壁，尽管头撞肿了，角撞裂了，老鼠却安然待在洞里。
After a time the bull gave up and sank down to rest again。
译文：过了一会儿，公牛不撞了，倒下歇着。
第三段：
As soon as the bull was asleep， the little mouse crept to the mouth of the hole， pattered across the yard， bit the bull again？
译文： 公牛刚睡着，小老鼠就爬到洞口，嗒嗒地跑过院子，又咬了公牛一口？
this time on the nose？
译文：这回咬了鼻子？
and rushed back to safety。 As the bull roared helplessly the mouse squeaked："It's
not always the big people who e off best。 Sometimes the small ones win， you know。"
译文：又跑回安全的地方去。当公牛毫无办法地吼叫时，老鼠吱吱叫道："大人物并不总占上风。有时小人物也会取胜。"
二、英语寓言小故事：郭氏之墟
第一段：
On a vacation trip， Duke Huan of the state of Qi came to the ruin of the capital of Guo
Shi ， which perished long ago.
译文：齐桓公出游途中，来到已经灭亡许久的郭氏都城的废墟。
第二段：
Seeing the desolate and bleak prospects of broken tiles， collapsed walls， and clusters
of weeds， he could not help asking the local people about the reason of the ruin of Guo Shi.
译文：看到瓦砾残垣、杂草丛生的萧条景象，忍不住问当地百姓郭氏灭亡的原因。
第三段：
They replied，"Guo Shi was fond of doing good deeds， and averse to evildoing， which led to the perdition."
译文：百姓们回答说："郭氏由于喜爱善行善事。厌恶邪恶丑行而导致灭亡。"
第四段：
When the Duke could not understand the answer， people explained ，" Though he
liked doing good， he had never been able to do so; though he hated
evildoing， never could he help not participating.That caused the ruin of his capital."
译文：齐桓公不能理解这种回答，百姓们便解释说："郭氏虽然喜爱善行善事，但从来都不能做到；尽管厌恶邪恶丑行，却总是忍不住参与其中。这就是他的都城变成废墟的原因。"
三、英语寓言小故事：三个好朋友
One day， a monkey rides his bike near the river.
译文：一天，一只猴子在河边骑车。
This time he sees a lion under a tree, The lion runs at him.
译文：这时他看见树下有一只狮子，狮子向他跑来。
He is afraid and falls into the river.
译文：他十分的害怕，掉进河里。
He can’t swim, He shouts.
译文：他不会游泳，大叫起来。
The rabbit hears him, He jumps into the river, The rabbit swims to the monkey， but
he can’t help him.
译文：兔子听见了，跳进水里，但他却没有办法救猴子。
Luckily， an elephant es along.
译文：幸运的是，一只大象过来了。
He is very strong, He helps the rabbit and monkey.
译文：大象十分强壮，救出了兔子和猴子。
Three friends are very happy, They go to the elephant’s home.
译文：他们来到大象的家，在那里吃了一顿大餐。
Then， three of them bee good friends.
译文：从此他们成了好朋友。
四、英语寓言小故事：
A Man and a Satyr having struck up an acquaintance， sat down together to eat.
译文：一个人与赛特偶然相识，坐在一齐吃东西。
The day being wintry and cold， the Man put his fingers to his mouse and blew opon them.
译文：正值冬季，天气很冷，那人把手放在嘴边哈气。
"What's that for， my friend?" asked the Satyr.
译文：赛特问道“我的朋友，那是干吗?”
" My hands are so cold，" said the Man， "I do it to warm them."
译文：这人说“我的手太冷了，这是为了取暖”。
In a little while some hot food was placed before them， and the Man， raising the dish to his mouse， again blew opon it.
译文：过了一会儿，热腾腾的食物端上来了，那人把碟子举到嘴边又吹了起来。
"And what's the meaning of that， now?" said the Satyr.
译文：赛特问“这又是干吗？”
"Oh，" replied the Man， "my porridge is so hot， I do it to cool it."
译文：那人说“哦，我的粥太烫了，我把他吹凉些”。
"Nay， then，" said the Satyr， "from this moment I renounce your friendship， for I
will have nothing to do with one who blows hot and cold with the same mouse."
译文：赛特说“从此刻起，我要与你绝交，因为我不想和一个反复无常的人做朋友”。
五、英语小故事：驴和蚱蜢
Ass having heard some Grasshoppers chirping， was highly enchanted; and， desiring
to possess the same charms of melody， demanded what sort of food they lived
on， to give them such beautiful voices.
译文：一只驴听到几只蚱蜢在叫，便觉得很趣味；于是也想得到同样趣味的音调，便问蚱蜢吃什么东西过活，以至于能有这样优美的声音。
They replied， "The dew." The Ass resolved that he would only live upon dew， and in
a short time died of hunger.
译文：蚱蜢说：「露水。」驴子听了，从此以后也单吃露水过活，不久便饿死了。
奇奇怪怪的lemon
在繁忙的学习工作中，阅读一些幽默笑话是我们放松心情的好方式。既然这样，那么你知道英语幽默小 故事 有哪些吗？下面我为大家带来英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事，希望大家喜欢!
英语幽默小故事1：Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
幽默故事翻译：中间战术
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
英语幽默小故事2：Very Pleased to Meet You
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."
"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"
幽默故事翻译：
在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要 出国 ，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。
后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。
琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”
“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。
“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。”
“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。”
英语幽默小故事3：Two Soldiers
Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"
Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.
Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.
Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"
Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.
George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.
"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.
George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"
幽默故事翻译：
军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?”
比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。
乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。
这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?”
比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。
乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。
“你还要什么?”比尔问。
乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?”
英语幽默小故事4：Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen, sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
幽默故事翻译：五个月大
第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。
可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。
“你多大了?”军医问。
“十八，长官。”约翰说。
“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?”
约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”
英语幽默小故事5：West Point
My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."
One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."
幽默故事翻译：
父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的 橄榄球 赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。”
一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。”
英语幽默小故事6：Present for Girlfriend
At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.
The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again."
幽默故事翻译：送给女友的礼物
在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。
那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。”
英语幽默小故事7：Be Careful What You Wish For
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
幽默故事翻译：慎重许愿
一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”
仙女拾起了 魔术 棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。
英语幽默小故事8：Wood Fire
One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. "Husbands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened."
"Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themselves?"
幽默故事翻译：森林之火
一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性：“丈夫们就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他们就会燃烧起来。”
“那是不是意味着，”另一个问道，“他们将自己烧成灰烬?”
英语幽默小故事9：Best Reward
A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.
"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I‘d pulled you out, they‘d chuck me in."
幽默故事翻译：最好的奖赏
一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。
“最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。”
英语幽默小故事10：Napoleon Was ill
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
"He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."
"No, no, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!"
"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."
幽默故事翻译：拿破仑病了
杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。
“他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说：“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。”
“不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答。“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。”
“先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说：“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
