一点流殇
笑话是内容丰富并具有出乎意料结尾的幽默口头 故事 。笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。 下面是我带来的经典 英语笑话 阅读，欢迎阅读!经典英语笑话阅读篇一 泡泡温泉(双语阅读) a:tom,look at your shoes.how dirty they are! you must clear hem. 汤姆，看看你的鞋子，多脏呀，你必须洗一洗了。 b:oh.mother,but i cleaned them only yesterday. 噢，妈妈，可我昨天才洗过的。 a:but they are dirty now.you must clean them again. 可现在它们又脏了，你再洗一次吧。 b:i don't want to clean them today. even if i clean them today,they will be dirty again tomorrow. 我今天不想洗，我即使今天把鞋洗了，明天还会脏的。 a:ok,don't clean them then. 好吧，那就别洗了。 (ln the evening tom came back from school.he was very hungry. 晚上汤姆放学回到家，他非常饿。) 经典英语笑话阅读篇二 喂养宠物(双语阅读) Birds in their little nests agree. 鸟在巢中不相争。 A small child was giving a bath to a tiny and dirty kitten in the gar-den. while an ojd lady passing by. 一个小男孩在花园里给一只身上很脏的小花猫洗澡，正在这时，一个上了年纪的女士从旁边经过。 A:Sonny.you shouldn't bathe a kitty in cold waLer.He will get sick and die. 小家伙，你不应该在凉水中给小猫洗澡，他会生病,甚至会死。 (The child go on with his job.barely liatening to her.Two houra Wer,the lacjy was retumiWg when ahe saw the boy sittinS on the ground and cring.with the dead kitten lying beaide him. 可是，小男孩继续给小猫洗澡，几乎对那位女士置之不理。两小时以后，那位女士返回时看见那个小男孩坐在地上哭泣，小猫躺在他的身旁，死了。) B:Didn't I tell you .sonny.that the kitty would die if you wa.shed him in the cold water? 小家伙，我不是告诉休了吗?如果在凉水中给小猫洗澡，他会死的。 A:But Auntie. he didn't die because I waahed him; he died when I was wrinpng him dry. 可是，阿姨，他不是因为我给它洗澡死的，当我把他拧于时，他就死了。 经典英语笑话阅读篇三 戒除烟瘾(双语阅读) Health is not valued till sickness comes. 生病才知健康好。 A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sum of money was talking to his lawyer. 一个被告卷入了一桩牵涉大笔资金的诉讼案，他去找他的律师。 A:If I lose this case, I'll be ruined. 如果我输了这场官司，我就完了。 B:It's in the judge's hand now. 这事掌握在法官的手上。 A:Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars? 如果我给法官送一箱雪茄，会不会起点作用? B:Oh.no !This judge is a stickler for ethical behavior.A turu like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hald you in contempt of coun. in fact.you shouldn't even smile ai the judge. 哦.不会的!这位法官很固执，非常注意职业道德。这种花招只会让他对你产生偏见，他甚至会认为你蔑视法庭。事实上，你甚至都不用对他微笑。 With in the course of time,the judge wndered a decision in favor of the defendant.As the defendanL leR the counhouae, 最后，法官作了一个有利于被告的判决，当被告离开法院时。 A:Thanks for the tip about the cigars.It worked. 谢谢你关于雪茄的忠告，这很多管用。 B:I'm sure we wodd have lost the caae if you'd sent them. 如果你送了的话，我肯定休会输掉这场官司。 A:But did send them. 但是我的确送了。 B:What? You did?! 什么?你送了?! A:Yes.That's how we won the case. 对，这就是我们会赢这场官司的原因。 B:I don't understand 我不明白。 A:It's easy.I sent the cigars to the judge,but enclosed the plaintiff's business card. 这很简单，我把雪茄送到了{去官那里，但是附上了原告的一张名片。
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幽默的英语笑话短文（精选11篇）
在繁忙的学习工作中，适时读一些幽默笑话，放松自己，劳逸结合十分重要。下面是我整理的幽默的英语笑话短文（精选11篇），希望大家喜欢！
The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.
"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient,"For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist,or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."
The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price."Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.
The Brain Surgeon replied,"No,it’s not better,just unused."
一个外科医生正要作一个脑移植手术。
“你可以从两个脑子中选一个给你。”医生告诉病人，“一个心理学家的大脑1000美元，一个政治家的大脑10000美元。
病人很惊讶二者之间这样大的.差别，“政治家的大脑好一些吗?”他问。
医生说：“不是好一些，只是没有用过。”
Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.
Mum:There is no electricity tonight.
Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.
迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。
妈妈：今晚停电了。
迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes,dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate,a plump,middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind,lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back.Her momentum carried her close to my shoes.Before I could help her,however,she had scrambled up.Gaining her composure,she winked at me and said,"Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody.What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?
-- 墓地守墓人。
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States,she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her.At the bank counter,the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real.It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more,uttering."Trust me,Sir,and trust the money.They are real US dollars.They are directly from America."
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
Mrs.Brown:Oh,my dear,I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs.Smith:But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs.Brown:It's no use,my little dog can't read.
布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
—Waiter,this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry,sir.It must have been in a fight.
-- Well,bring me the winner then.
-- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”
teacher:here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.now who can tell us which is which?
student:i cannot point out but i know the answer.
teacher:please tell us.
student:the swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
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