一知蓝色
谐音英语笑话大全笑破你的肚子
同学们都闹出过怎样的笑话?不妨道来大家听听我为您整理的英语笑话。
You don’t have to pay for lightning
Teacher：Who can tell me the difference between lightning and electricity?
Student：You don’ t have to pay for lightning.
闪电不用付钱
老师：谁能告诉我闪电与电的区别?
学生：闪电不用付钱。
H o n e s t y
A man who is driving a car stopped by a police officer.The following exchange takes place...
Man：What's the problem，officer?
Officer：You were going at least 75in a 55zone.
Man：No，sir，I was going 65.
Wife：Oh，Harry.You were going 80.(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)
Officer：I' m also going to give you a ticket for your broken taillight.
Man：Broken taillight?I didn't know about a broken taillight。
Wife：Oh Harry，you've known about that tail for weeks.(Man gives his wife another dirty look.)
Officer：I' m also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.
Man：Oh，I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.
Wife：Oh，Harry，you never wear your seat belt.
Man：Shut your dang mouth。
Officer：(Turns to the woman)：Ma ' am，does your husband talk to you this way all the time?
Wife：No，only when he's drunk.
诚 实
警官让一位驾车的男士停下车。随后出现如下的对话：
男士：警官，有什么问题?
警官：你在限速55英里的地段开到至少75英里。
男士：不，长官，是65英里。
妻子：啊，哈里，你刚才开到80英里。(男士瞪了妻子一眼。)
警官：我还要给你张罚单，你的.尾灯碎了。
男士：尾灯碎了?你不说，我还真不知道尾灯碎了。
妻子：哦，哈里，几个星期以前你就知道了。(男士又恶狠狠地瞪了她一眼。)
警官：我还要给你张传票，你没系安全带。
男士：噢，你朝我车走过来的时候我才解开的。
妻子：啊，哈里，你从来都不系安全带。
男士：闭上你的臭嘴。
警官：(转向女士)夫人，你丈夫总是这样跟你说话吗?
妻子：不，只有当他醉了的时候。
He must have a computer
A mother was teaching her 5-year-old son about God. “Do you know, ”she said to him one day, “that God knows where everybody is all the time, and exactly what they are doing. ”The little boy looked at his mother wide-eyed and said, “Wow. He must have a computer.”
他一定有台电脑
一位母亲给她5岁的儿子讲上帝。“你知道吗, ”有一天她对他说, “无论一个人在哪里, 在干什么事情, 上帝都知道。”小男孩睁大了眼睛看着他妈妈说, “哇。那他一定有一台电脑。”
Nice Try
My wife and I were stopped by a state policeman. He started to write up a speeding ticket. My wife, who’s a hair stylist, said, “If you let us off with a warning, I’ll give you a free haircut for a year. ”
The policeman removed his hat--and he was completely bald.
by Peter Orphanos
尝 试
我和妻子被警察拦住了，他给我们开一个超速的罚款单。我的妻子是一个发型设计师，于是她就对警察说，“如果你让我们免于警告，我就为你免费理发一年。”
警察脱下他的帽子——他是一个光头。
Who is Disgusting
First：“My neighbor is very disgusting，who moved here recently，he rang the bell of my house with a rush late at night.”
Second：“It is disgusting in faith，do you call the police?”
First：“No.I just take him as a madman，and continue to play my piano.”
谁可恶
甲：“我家新搬来的邻居好可恶，竟然深更半夜跑来猛按我家的门铃。”
乙：“的确可恶。你有没有报警?”
甲：“没有。我当他是疯子，继续弹我的琴。”
MOMO丫丫
分类: 休闲/爱好 >> 幽默滑稽 问题描述: 可能说谐音有些狭隘了，但我不知道怎么表达。用英文来说就是：play on the sound 解析: 喜欢学英语的小明，不分日夜都在找说英语的机会。 这天，他不小心走路撞到一个外国人，他不好意思的说：「I am sorry.」 「I am sorry,too.」外国人回答。「I am sorry three.」小明马上回道。 「What are you sorry for？」外国人问。 「I am sorry five…」小明说。
我想说真话
一家陕西人在纽约唐人街开了家餐馆，儿子当服务生，老妈管收钱，老爸做大厨。某一天，店里来了个老外，点了个套餐，吃到一半， " 咣当 " ，把汤碗打了。 儿子跑过去看了一下，说： " 碗打了！ " 老外想： " one dollar,... ..." 老妈听见声音，也过来看，见地上有个破碗，问： " 谁打的？ " 老外想： " three dollar?... ..." 儿子说： " 他打的！ " 老外想： " ten dollar?! ... ..." 老妈又说： " 还得打一碗！ " 老外想： " hundred and one?!?! ... ..." 老爸正在厨房切菜，听见外面的声音，赶忙跑出来看怎么回事。忙乱中，忘了把菜刀放下。 五大三粗的老爸，手持菜刀站在餐厅里，老外一看，心跳加速，血压急升，但更让他心碎加崩溃的是老爸的一番话。 老爸对着正在加热炉上舀汤的儿子说： " 烫，少盛点儿！ " 老外： " ten thousand?!!
优质英语培训问答知识库
