小菜菜菜菜子
【第一篇】语法错误并不多1.把with改成full of.with在这里用感觉有点不舒服.2.把第一行的be删去.make sb.+adj.3.第二行的they指代不清.改成Teenagers吧.4.第四行的for改成to.对于青少年来说.我又帮你润色了一下.希望还合你胃口^ ^Teenagers today love food full of a lot of fat ,oil, salt and sugar, which make them unhealthy. It is for that reason that they often feel tired and have something wrong with their bodies. I think it is important for teenagers to follow a healthy diet. They should eat food containing less fat and oil. What's more, fruits and vegetables are rich in vitamins and less in fat. Thus, it is a good choice for teenagers to eat them every day. I hope that all the teenagers will keep in good health.【第二篇】这篇还好.就直接帮你改咯.我是懒人= =The Olympic Game will be held in Beijing in august ,2008. We Chinese are all busy doing something for it, especially the lucky city volunteers of Beijing. To recycle them, they pick up the litter, plant trees, collect old newspapers and glass bottles. The families with children organize car pools. By this way, the traffic will get better and the air will be cleaner. More and more people have been taking lessons to learn English to welcome foreign visitors. I'm looking forward to the success of the Olympic Game.P.S.我要加分>0<~
Nichkhunnie
你的作文错误之处(按顺序):1actor->actors2There->They3number->numbers(复数)4时态错误:改成wasbreakingwasatriskwantedtoandtalked...(下面的动词原形出都应该用过去时态,因为发生于文章中的"过去")5thecommanderofEarth->thecommanderoftheEarth(地球要加不定冠词,下同)6onearth(究竟)->ontheearth(在地球上)7istherichest...onearth可以简写:istherichestandworstmanontheearth8hasfound->found(过去时)9theGog->Gog(人名不用冠词)10angil->angry11why...did->whydid...do12Mars->theMars13aftertalk->aftertalking14isn'tsucced->didn'tsucceed15Gogveryangry->Gogwasveryangry16conclude->concluded17weshouldprotect,protect...->weshouldprotect,andprotect...18protectionof->takeprotectionof
零摄氏度的空气
Where does music come?We can study it?Or maybe it just is a talent,no one knows where it comes.音乐在哪里来的？我们可以研究它？或许是一个天才，没有人知道它在哪里。A boy in the story doesn't have good grades,he isn't good in chinese or math. He likes singing with other children together,but he does't sing well.When he looks for work first time,he is refused.He is a good boy,but he doesn't have specil talents.在故事中没有一个男孩有好成绩，他是在中国或数学不好。他喜欢和其他孩子一起唱歌，但他不唱得很好。当他第一次找工作，他拒绝了。他是个好孩子，但他没有特别的人才。But one day,he find a beautiful piano,and he find he can play the piano.he says he will play it in the future .And he had a dream .He want to do that……So,we can say that he doesn't find music,but music found him.但是有一天，他发现一个漂亮的钢琴，他发现他能发挥作有说他将在未来发挥。他做了一个梦。他想做的事，......所以，我们可以说，他没有找到音乐，但音乐中找到他。When he grown-up. He played piano well. And he become a piano musician. And his dream come true.This story is very good. It tell us how to make dream come true. And dream is useful things. It can tell you how to do some difficult things……当他长大的。他钢琴弹得很好。他成为一位钢琴音乐家。他的梦想成真。这个故事很好。它告诉我们如何使梦想成真。梦想是有用的东西。它可以告诉你如何去做......一些有难度的事情Everybody needs dream and if you work hard your dream will come true.每个人都需要梦想，如果你努力工作，你的梦想会成真。
贪吃的大吃货
（1） The junk food make them be unhealthy 把BE去掉（不过我觉得这句话完全可以省掉） 第三局的They不明确最好说一下。They often feel tired and they often have something wrong with their body. 这句话省掉 “following a healthy diet ”这样表达是错误的可以说 having good diets is very important for teenagers.eat food 这个表达很不地道 后面一句话改成low-fat food and green food will be better just like fruits and vegetables。会更好一些
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