深海R蔚蓝
“You can use me as a last resort, and if nobody else volunteers，then I will do it.” This was an actual reply from a parent after I put out a request for volunteers for my kids lacrosse club. “你可以将我作为最后选择，如果没有其他人做志愿者，我来做。”这是在我向我的孩子长曲棍球俱乐部提出志愿者请求后一位家长的真实回答。 I guess that there's probably some demanding work schedule, or social anxiety around stepping up to help for an unknown sport. She may just need a little persuading. So I try again and tug at the heartstrings. I mention the single parent with four kids running the show and I talk about the dad coaching a team that his kids aren’t even on … At this point the unwilling parent speaks up, “Alright. Yes, I’ll do it.” 我想可能有一些苛刻的工作安排，或者帮助一项未知的运动产生社交焦虑。她可能只需要一些说服，所以我得再试一次，动之以情。我提到有一个有四个孩子的单亲家长在主持节目，有一位父亲在指导一个他的孩子甚至都不在其中的团队……此时，这位不情愿的家长大声说，“好吧，是的，我来做。” I’m secretly relieved because I know there’s real power in sharing volunteer responsibilities among many. The unwilling parent organizes the meal schedule, sends out emails, and collects money for end-of-season gifts. Somewhere along the way, the same parent ends up becoming an invaluable member of the team. The coach is able to focus on the kids while the other parents are relieved to be off the hook for another season. Handing out sliced oranges to bloodthirsty kids can be as exciting as watching your own kid score a goal. 我暗自松了一口气，因为我知道在许多人之间分担志愿者的责任具有真正的力量。不情愿的家长会安排用餐计划，发送电子邮件，并为季末礼物筹款。在这个过程中，这些家长最终成为了团队中不可或缺的一员。教练可以把注意力集中在孩子身上，而其他家长则可以松一口气，不用再为下一个赛季操心。向充满斗志的孩子们分发一片片橙子就像看着自己的孩子进球一样令人兴奋。 Still, most of us volunteers breathe a sigh of relief when the season comes to a close. That relief is coupled with a deep understanding of why the same people keep coming back for more: Connecting to the community as you freely give your time, money, skills, or services provides a real joy. Volunteering just feels so good. 然而，当季节结束时，我们大多数志愿者都松了一口气。这种宽慰与深刻理解就是为什么这些人持续做志愿者的原因：与社区建立联系，当你自由地投入时间、金钱、技能或服务时，你会感到真正的快乐。做志愿者感觉真好。 In that sense, I’m pretty sure volunteering is more of a selfish act than I’d freely like to admit. However, if others benefit in the process, and I get some reward too, does it really matter where my motivation lies? 从这个意义上说，我真的认为志愿服务更是一种我不愿意承认的自私行为。然而，如果其他人在这个过程中受益，而我也得到了一些回报，那么我的动机真的重要吗？
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Marian Bechtel sits at West Palm Beach’s Bar Louie counter by herself, quietly reading her e-book as she waits for her salad. What is she reading? None of your business! Lunch is Bechtel’s “me” time. And like more Americans, she’s not alone. 玛丽安·贝克特尔一个人坐在西棕榈滩的Bar Louie酒吧柜台旁，静静地看着她的电子书，等待着她的沙拉。她在看什么？与你无关！午餐是贝克特尔“自己”的时间。和更多美国人一样，她并不孤单。 A new report found 46 percent of meals are eaten alone in America. More than half (53 percent) have breakfast alone and nearly half (46 percent) have lunch by themselves. Only at dinnertime are we eating together anymore, 74 percent, according to statistics from the report. 一份新的报告发现，在美国有46%的餐饮是单独食用的。超过一半的人（53%）独自吃早餐，近一半的人（46%）独自吃午餐。根据该报告的统计数据，只有在晚餐时间，有74%的人一起就餐。 “I prefer to go out and be out. Alone, but together, you know?” Bechtel said, looking up from her book. Bechtel, who works in downtown West Palm Beach, has lunch with coworkers sometimes, but like many of us, too often works through lunch at her desk. A lunchtime escape allows her to keep a boss from tapping her on the shoulder. She returns to work feeling energized. “Today, I just wanted some time to myself,” she said. “你知道吗？我更喜欢出去吃，一个人，而不是一起。”贝克特尔说着，从书中抬起头来。贝克特尔在市中心西棕榈滩工作，有时与同事共进午餐，但和我们许多人一样，她也经常在办公桌旁工作忘记吃午餐。午餐时间的逃离让她避免与老板的接触，重新工作岗位，感到精力充沛。“今天，我只是想有点时间独处，”她说。 Just two seats over, Andrew Mazoleny, a local videographer, is finishing his lunch at the bar. He likes that he can sit and check his phone in peace or chat up the barkeeper with whom he’s on a first-name basis if he wants to have a little interaction. “I reflect on how my day’s gone and think about the rest of the week,” he said. “It’s a chance for self-reflection. You return to work recharged and with a plan.” 只剩两个座位，当地的摄像师安德鲁·马佐莱尼正在酒吧吃午餐。他喜欢安静地坐下来看手机，如果他想进行一些交流的话，就会直呼酒保的名字与他聊天。他说：“我会思考我的一天是如何度过的，并思考这周剩下的时间。这是一个自我反省的机会，你带着计划重新开始工作。” That freedom to choose is one reason more people like to eat alone. There was a time when people may have felt awkward about asking for a table for one, but those days are over. Now, we have our smartphones to keep us company at the table. “It doesn’t feel as alone as it may have before all the advances in technology,” said Laurie Demeritt, whose company provided the statistics for the report. 选择自由是更多人喜欢独自吃饭的原因之一。曾经有一段时间，人们可能会因为要拼桌而感到尴尬，但那些日子已经过去了。现在，我们有了智能手机，可以让我们在餐桌旁不在孤单。劳里·德米特的公司为该报告提供了统计数据，他说：“在所有这些技术进步之后已不再感觉到孤独”。
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