有深意的英语文章

My Wife Will Exchange Them Tomorrow A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves. "Cloth of leather?" asked the salesperson. "Makes no difference, "replied customer. "What color?" asked the clerk. "Any," he responded. "Size?" "Give me whatever you prefer," the gentleman said, slightly exasperated. "My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them." 反正我太太明天会来换的 一位先生走进一家商店要买付手套。 “您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。 “没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。 “那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。 “什么颜色都成。”他回答。 “号码呢？” “您就随便给我拿一付吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我 太太明天都会来换的。” good news and bad news The soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot andtired. One day, the general announced: "My men, I have some good newsand some bad news for you. Which one would you like first?" "The good news!" they all shouted. "OK," said the General. "The good news is that you will each be receivinga complete change of clothing." "Hurrah!" chorused the soldiers. "And now for the bad news. Jack, you will change with John. John, youwill change with Tom. Tom, you will change with Robert. Robert .... 好消息和坏消息 士兵们连续的行军，作战，他们又累又热又脏。一天，将军宣布：“士兵们，我有一些好消息和坏消息要告诉你们。你们愿意先听哪个呢？” “好消息！”他们嚷道。 “好吧，”将军说，“好消息就是你们每个人都可以彻底的换一身衣服。” “乌拉！”士兵们高兴地大叫起来。 “现在呢，该是坏消息了。杰克，你将和约翰换衣服，约翰，你和汤姆换，汤姆，你和罗伯特换，罗伯特……” Wings The fried-chicken restaurant where I was working had a big rush just before closing one day, leaving us with nothing to sell but wings. As I was about to lock the doors, a quietly intoxicated customer came in and ordered dinner. When I asked if wings would be all right, he leaned over the counter and replied, "Lady, I came in here to eat, not fly." 翅 膀 一天，我工作的炸鸡店在关门前出现了一阵抢购狂潮，结果除了鸡翅外所有的东西都卖完了。当我正准备锁门时，一名喝醉了的旅客进来要进餐。我问他翅膀行不行，他从柜台上靠过身子来，回答道：“女士，我到这儿来是吃东西的，不是要飞！” Mum:Mary,you must take off your beautiful sweater when you sleep. Mary:I don't want to take it off. Mum:Why? Mary:Why doesn't the rooster take off its beautiful coat when it sleeps? 妈妈：玛丽，你睡觉时，一定要把漂亮的毛衣脱下来。 玛丽：我不想脱。 妈妈：为什么呢？ 玛丽：大公鸡睡觉时，怎么不脱下它漂亮的外衣呢？ Two Hearts Beating Nurse: How do you feel after your operation? Patient: Quite al-right, only I can feel two hearts beating inside me. Nurse: No wonder. The doctor who operated on you was looking for his watch everywhere just now. 两颗心脏在跳动 护士：手术后你感觉怎么样？ 病人：很好，只是我感觉到在我体内有两颗心脏在跳动。 护士：怪不得给你做手术的大夫刚才在到处找他的手表。 Too Polite A woman who frequented a small antique shop rarely purchase anything, but always found fault with the merchandise and prices. The manager and her salesclerk took the woman's grumpy complaints in stride, but one day she went too far. "Why is it I never manage to get what I ask for in your shop?" demanded the woman. A smile on her face, the clerk calmly replied, "Perhaps it's because we're too polite." 太有礼貌 一名妇女经常光顾一家小古董店，但几乎从不买什么东西，却总是对商品和价格吹毛求疵。对于那妇女的粗暴抱怨，经理和她的销售员总是应付了事，但是有一天她做得太过分了。“为什么你们店里总是不能得到我想要的东西？”那名妇女指责说。 职员脸上带着微笑，沉着地回答道：“也许是因为我们太有礼貌了

一个人拿着一双鞋到修鞋店修理，他对鞋匠说：“我想修一双鞋”。 “好的”，鞋匠说。 “什么时候修好？”那个人问。 “我有点忙，不过星期二就可以了”鞋匠说。 “很好”，那个人说，然后离开了修鞋店。 第二天上午，他收到了一封信，在国外有一个好的工作机会。那个人在24小时之内就去了新工作的地方。 二十年过去了，他返回了故乡，他还记得那双鞋。 “那是一双好鞋”，他想：“不知道那个修鞋匠是否还在那里，那双鞋是否还在，我要去看看”。他很高兴的看到鞋匠还在同一个修鞋店里，虽然现在他已经是一个老人了。 “早上好！”，他对鞋匠说：“二十年前，我带了一双鞋到这里来修，你还能找到他们吗？” “姓名？”老鞋匠问 “史密斯”，那个人回答 。 “我去看看，可能在后面。 鞋匠出去，到修鞋店的后面，几分钟后回来了，拿着那双鞋。 “在这里”他说，“一双棕色的要修理的鞋，我现在有点忙，不过星期二可能就修好了。” Quick Service A man took a pair of shoes to a shoe repair shop and said to the shoemaker, "I'd like you to repair these shoes for me, please." "Certainly, sir," the shoemaker said. "When will they be ready?" the man asked. "I'm a bit busy, but they'll be ready for you on Thursday." he said. That's fine," the man said, and left the shop. The next morning he received a letter, offering him a job in another country. Within 24 hours he was on an airplane to his new job. Twenty years passed and he returned to his hometown. He remembered his shoes. "They were a good pair of shoes," he thought. "I wonder if the shoemaker is still there and still has them. I'll go and see.He was pleased to see that the shoemaker was still in the same shop ,although he was an old man by now. "Good morning," he said to him. "Twenty years ago, I brought in a pair of shoes to be repaired. Do you think you've still got them?" "Name?" the old shoemaker asked. "Smith," the man said. "I'll go and see. They may be out back. The shoemaker went out to the back of his shop -and a few minutes later returned ,carrying the pair of shoes. "Here they are," he said. "One pair of brown shoes to be repaired. I'm a bit busy now, but they'll probably be ready on Thursday." Last week, Mrs Black went to London. She didn’t know London very well, and she lost her way. Suddenly she saw a man near a bus stop. She went up to the man and said, “Excuse me! Can you tell me the way to the hospital, please?” The man smiled. He didn’t know English! He came from Germany. But then he put his hand into his pocket, and took out an English dictionary. He looked up some words. Then he said slowly, “I’m sorry I can’t understand you.” 上周，布莱克夫人去了一趟伦敦。她不太熟悉伦敦，结果她迷路了。突然她在一个公共汽车站附近看见一位男子。她急忙向这位男子走去，说道：“劳驾您一下！请您告诉我去医院的路，好吗？”这位男子笑了。他听不懂英语。他来自德国。但是他将手伸进了自己的衣袋里，从里面掏出了一本英语词典。他查找到了一些单词。然后他一字一句地说：“我很抱歉我听不懂你说的话。” Speeding A speeding motorist was waved down by a police patrol car. “I'm going to give you a ticket for speeding,” said the policeman, writing his note. “You've been driving over 60 miles per hour.” “Would you mind making it 100, officer?” was the reply. “You see, I'm going to sell the car.” 超速行驶 一名超速行驶的驾驶员被巡逻警车拦住后，警察一边做记录，一边说：“我要给你开一张超速罚单，因为你刚才的车速已经超过了60英里。” “警官，请你把时速写为100英里好吗？你知道，我正要打算卖这辆车。”