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英语幽默故事小短文
英语幽默故事小短文一：
Friend for Dinner "Honey," said the husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
“亲爱的，”丈夫对妻子说：“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。” “什么?你疯了吗?我们的房子乱糟糟的，我很久没有买过东西回来了，所有的碗碟都是脏的，还有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。” “这些我全都知道。” “那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭?” “因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。”
英语幽默故事小短文二：
An Advertisement for Modern Bicycle Tom saw an advertisement in a newspaper for a beautiful modern bicycle which cost £50, so he went to the shop to have a look. After examining the bicycle carefully, Tom turned to the shopkeeper and said, "There isn't a lamp on this bicycle, but there was one on the bicycle in your advertisement." "Yes, sir," answered the shopkeeper, "but the lamp isn't included in the price of the bicycle. It's an extra." "Not included in the price of bicycle?" Tom said angrily, "But that's not honest. If the lamp's in the advertisement, it should have been included in the price you gave there." "Well, sir," answered the shopkeeper calmly, "there is also a girl on the bicycle in our advertisement, shall we supply one for you too?"
汤姆在报纸上看到一辆很漂亮的摩登自行车的广告，标价50英镑，于是他到商店去看一看。 汤姆很仔细地看完那辆自行车后，转过身对店主说：“这辆自行车少了一盏灯，但在广告上的.自行车是有的。”“是的，先生，”店主回答说，“但那盏灯不包括在自行车的价格里面，是另外收费的。” “不包括在自行车价格里面?”汤姆很生气，“但这是不诚实的。如果灯在广告上，它就应该包括在你所标出的价格之内。” “嗯，先生，”店主冷静地回答：“在我们的自行车广告上还有一个女孩，难道我们也要为您提供一个吗?”
英语幽默故事小短文三：
Ashamed Soldier Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting. One day he and his friends were practicing their shooting, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter. After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once, the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, "You're quite hopeless, Peter! Don't waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!" Peter felt ashamed. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot. "Heavens!" the officer said. "Has that silly man really shot himself?" He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. "I'm sorry, sir," he said, "but I missed again."
彼得十八岁那年参了军，他需要参加几个月的学习以成为一名好士兵。彼得在其他方面都做得很好，但是射击不行。一天他和伙伴们练习射击，除了彼得其他人都没有问题。他射了九次，一次也没有命中目标。这时，教新兵射击的教官说：“彼得，你看来是没希望了，不要连最后一发子弹都浪费掉!去那堵墙后面用它向自己打一枪吧。” 彼得感到非常惭愧。他走到那堵墙后面。几分钟后，教官和新兵们听到一声枪响。 “上帝!”教官叫起来，“难道那个笨蛋真的朝自己开枪了?” 他急忙跑到那堵墙后面，发现彼得安然无恙。“对不起，长官，”他说，“我还是没有命中。”
王嘉卿WJQ
幽默英文笑话短文带翻译
有笑话，大家一起笑，这就是分享快乐，也许，快乐就是这么简単。下面我为你带来幽默英文笑话短文带翻译，希望你会喜欢。
思不断!
After spending all day watching football，Harry fell asleep in front of the TV and spent the night in the chair. In the morning，his wife woke him up."Get up, dear," she said. A It's twenty to seven. "
看了一整天的橄榄球赛，亨利倒头睡在了电视机旁的椅子上。第二天早上，他的妻子来叫他起床:“起来吧，亲爱的，差二十分七点了。”
He woke with a start. "In whose favor?"
他被惊醒了，爬起来问:“哪方领先?”
分享
As the mother of three small children born two years apart, I'm often very tired in the evening. Their father and I have set strict rules that after stories，prayers, one drink and the bathroom scene，they must go to bed and stay there.
作为一个每隔两年生一个小孩，现已是三个小孩的母亲，我到晚止时常感列精疲力尽。他们的父亲和我给孩子们订下严格的规定:讲完故事、祈祷、喝水、上厕所之后，他们必须马上上床睡觉。不许再干别的事。
One night，after a particularly trying day，all three were finally tucked in and I headed to the kitchen for some cookies，milk and solitude. I had just started to relax when I was surrounded by three little people，standing there watching me eat. Turning to their father I asked，"Do we relent or stick with the rules?"
一天晚上，经过了一番努力，三个孩子终于钻进了被窝。我来到了厨房想吃点饼干，喝点牛奶，独自呆一会儿。我刚想放松一下，就被二个孩子团团围住。他们站在那儿盯着我吃东西.我转向他们的父亲问:“我们还要不要遵守规定了?”
Our three-year-old piped up，”Stick with the rules,Mom. "
我们三岁的'小孩说:“妈妈，还是坚持按规定做吧!”
Knowing she didn't really want to be sent back to bed,I asked，"And what are the rules，Mellisa?"
我知道她不想去睡觉，就问:“玛丽莎，那么规定是怎么说的呢?”
"Share with one another,"she replied.
“有福同享。”她回答说。
幸运?
Walking to work one day, my husband was hit by a car. It was a minor accident and the driver apologized，adding; "You certainly are lucky. We're right next to a doctor's office."
有一天我丈夫走路去上班，被汽车给撞了。我丈夫伤势不太重。司机向他道了歉，随后又说:“你太幸运了，我们就在医务室附近。”
"I don't know how lucky that is ,"my husband replied."I' m the doctor. "
我丈夫回答说:“我并不感到有多幸运，我就是那儿的医生。”
只能一辆!
After retirement，our friends Jim and Evelyn began traveling around the United States in a motor home，towing their compact sedan behind. While driving through a shopping mall parking lot in New York，they were pleased when a motorist stopped his vehicle and signaled them through.
我的朋友吉姆和依娃林退休后，开始用他们的家庭式旅行车进行环美旅行。他们在旅行车后面还施着一辆小桥车备用。在经过纽约一家商店的停车场时，一个骑摩托的小伙子很礼貌地停下来示意让他们先过。这令他们很高兴。
Seconds later，they were jolted to a stop by a loud crash behind them. To their amazement，the polite motorist had demolished their car.
几秒钟后，就听后边咔的一声巨响，他们停了车一看，那个小伙于把他们的小桥车给撞了。
His explanation:"I didn't mind letting you nice folks by，but I didn't want that compact car to sneak through too."
他的解释是这样的:“我不介意让你们这对好人通过，但我不想让那辆小轿车也跟着溜过去。”
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