诗诗雨天
Remember when you thought you’d have life all figured out by the age of 30?
But now here you are, officially a 30-something and yet your life is far from sorted. Well, don’t worry, you’re not alone.
For most of us, our 30s are a time of change and uncertainty. Perhaps things haven’t worked out quite how you would have liked so far. But the good news is, there’s still plenty time to shape the life you want and you’re sure to learn a lot along the way.
I turned 40 last month which means somehow I made it through my 30s in one piece. Now, I’m still no life expert but as I reflect on the last ten years, I’m amazed at how much I’ve learnt.
Here are some of the lessons you’ll learn during your 30s.
1. You’ll learn friendships change
Your friendships will change a lot during your 30s. As people pair up, have kids, move house or change jobs, your friendships inevitably alter.
You may discover friends you have known for years don’t make the effort to keep in touch anymore. Or perhaps you no longer have anything in common with friends you’ve had since childhood.
It’s difficult to accept but there may be people who simply aren’t meant to be in your friendship circle anymore. But new friendships will take their place and the good news is, the friends you have at the end of your 30s will probably be friends for life.
2. You’ll learn to make big decisions
When you enter your 30s, you realize those big decisions you’ve been putting off can’t wait forever.
During my 30s I moved house twice, set up a business and had a baby. All demanded huge decisions that I’d been able to avoid during my 20s.
Decisions about your career, family, finances and relationships – you’ll face them all during your 30s. And no matter how old you get, making decisions is tough but with every big decision, your life changes; usually for the better.
3. You’ll learn about heartache
Divorce, fertility issues, bereavement, these are all things many people in their 30s have to face, often for the first time. The thing is, the journey through life isn’t meant to be straightforward and you can only really appreciate the highs, when you’ve also experienced the lows.
As Winston Churchill said: “If you’re going through hell, keep going”.
4. You’ll learn what’s really important
As you get older, your priorities change. The things that were important to you in your 20s such as making money or owning the latest gadgets will now seem less important.
Your 30s is a time to redefine your priorities; whether that’s traveling more, achieving a better work/life balance, or starting a family.
5. You’ll learn about compromise
Life is full of compromises and during your 30s you may find you have to compromise on big things such as taking a pay cut to get the job you really want, or moving city to be with the person you love.
Of course, it’s equally important to know when not to compromise. If you want kids but your partner doesn’t, it’s probably impossible to find a compromise. Instead, you may have to make the difficult decision to walk away from the relationship to get the life you really want.
6. You’ll learn to look after your body
Alcohol, sugar, late nights; they all take their toll. In your 20s you can enjoy your vices without inflicting too much long-term damage. But in your 30s, all those bad choices suddenly have a huge impact.
When you look in the mirror and see wrinkles, grey hairs and saggy skin for the first time, it’s a shock. And while you can’t reverse the ageing process (at least not without lots of cash and a great cosmetic surgeon), you can slow down the effects of ageing by making smart choices.
Now is the time to nurture your body to keep you healthy throughout your 30s and beyond.
7. You’ll learn to invest in the future
“Live for today” is the mantra of most 20-somethings. And this is perfect when you’ve got plenty time ahead to iron out your mistakes. But as you enter your 30s, you’ll realize although enjoying the moment is still important, you also need to plan for the future.
By investing in your finances, your health and your relationships you’ll form good habits that will make your future healthier and happier.
8. You’ll learn life is short
In your 20s you had the luxury of knowing that your whole life was still ahead of you. Meanwhile in your 30s, the sensation that time is hurtling along just keeps getting stronger.
You’ll treasure every second more and only go for things you really like or really needed.
9. You’ll learn about regret
Did you want to be a millionaire by the time you were 30? Travel the world? Win an Oscar? Goals you had in your 20s may no longer seem achievable and although it’s hard to let go of your dreams, with the wisdom you’ve gained, you can create new ones.
10. You’ll learn about children
Whether you already have kids, want kids, or definitely don’t want kids; there’s no escaping the fact that during your 30s everyone seems to be talking about children.
When you have absolutely no interest in kids, all the conversations about diapers and nurseries can become tiresome. But seeing your friends settle down and have kids can clarify how you feel about starting your own family.
You may find your thoughts about children change when you hit your 30s. Plenty of people (including me) change from thinking “definitely not”, to “definitely maybe” as they realize it’s a decision that can’t be put off forever.
11. You’ll learn to develop your own style
Knowing how to dress in your 30s isn’t easy. You’re too mature to wear teenage fashions but not ready to dress like your parents. Take the opportunity to develop your own style. It’s refreshing not to have to be a slave to fashion anymore.
12. You’ll learn to socialize differently
If your 20s were all about all-night parties and being seen in the hippest clubs; you may learn your tastes change in your 30s. Personally, I’d rather go for coffee than cocktails and much prefer watching a film with friends to hitting the town.
Being in your 30s gives you the freedom to do the things you really want to do, not what you think you should be doing.
13. You’ll learn not to sweat the small stuff
Remember when you were worried about everything? What to wear, how to cut your hair, whether your colleagues thought you were a dork for staying in on Saturday night? Well, great news; in your 30s you’ll learn not to care about the little things.
It’s painful to realize how much time you wasted overthinking things but the worries that caused you sleepless nights in your 20s simply won’t matter anymore. And when you learn not to sweat the small stuff, you’ll have more energy to focus on more important things.
14. You’ll learn to manage your money
If you haven’t already got your finances in check, you’ll learn to during your 30s. No doubt you’ll make some mistakes along the way but you’ll quickly become an expert.
Whether you’re investing in business, property or parenthood; now is the time to focus on money matters and financial planning.
15. You’ll learn to value your family
During our late teens and 20s many people grow apart from their parents and siblings as they fly the nest and embrace freedom. But during our 30s, many rediscover the importance of family.
Having kids of your own can bring you closer to your parents. And as your friendships change, it’s comforting to have the stability of family relationships.
16. You’ll learn to stand up for yourself
Whether it’s asking for a pay rise, or standing up to bullies at work, once you’re in your 30s, you’ll learn how to be assertive when it counts. Confidence comes with age so don’t be afraid to ask for what you want; you just might get it.
17. You’ll learn to love yourself
Your 20s can be a difficult time when you’re constantly comparing yourself to others and worrying “am I good enough?”. Well, the good news is your insecurities lessen during your 30s.
You might not have life completely figured out yet but you’ll definitely care less about what others think and learn to love yourself a whole lot more.
Some people choose to tightly grasp on to the past and stay stuck in their story, playing it over and over like a broken record. They, in turn, live with regret, anger, fear, and resentment.
Those who choose to live life with no regrets let go of the past and live joyfully in the present moment. They know that every experience gives birth to lessons and growth, even if it felt painful at the time. They look at all life experiences, both positive and negative, as part of their divine journey. They forgive themselves and others and understand their power is always in the present moment. They are grateful and optimistic, and know whatever they focus their thoughts on is what they attract. They also live by the following important mindsets.
1. Following your unique path leads to greater fulfilment
We all have unique gifts and talents we bring to this earth, accompanied by our distinct personality. We also have a life purpose to pursue- whether it’s to inspire, create, support, protect, or teach. If pave your own path by following your passions and inner guidance, your life will take on deeper meaning and fulfilment. If you pave your own path with what society and others expect of you, you’ll waste your precious time creating a life of pain, resentment, and regret. Instead of living a life of what you think you should do, try living according to what your inner knowing guides you to do.
2. Let your passions guide you, not societal pressures
We all know the feeling of being passionate about something. Our eyes light up, our energy increases, we smile, feel fulfilled, present, and deeply connected to what we are doing. Too often we allow the pressures of society and fear to steer us into spending our days engaged in activities we feel we should do. Whether it’s working in an unsatisfying job, staying in a bad relationship, or worrying what others think, none of those behaviors serve our higher good. To check whether your passions are guiding your life, write a list of up to 10 experiences you’ve had in your life where you felt the most fulfilled and connected. Then assess how many of these activities you have done in the past twelve months. If it’s not many, then start to reduce the amount of things you feel you have to do and start doing more of what you want to do.
3. Understand happiness is a choice
We often think that we will be happy once we get that job, car, house, or finish that course. The truth is there will always be something we are chasing after and areas we want to grow. Life is a journey of discovery, making mistakes, constantly improving ourselves and exploring our purpose, so there will always be goals we are striving for. Making your happiness dependent upon gaining external things or being perfect is a straight road to misery. Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy and content right now no matter where you live, what your job is or what you are striving for. Happiness comes from within. As everything external to you is temporary, even when you do get what you think will make you happy, once it goes, so will your happiness. True happiness is being connected to your true self and living a purposeful life.
4. Don’t think twice about expressing love and appreciation
A tapestry of relationships, connections, and encounters with others constantly weaves through our lives. We support others to grow by our words and actions, while also receiving their support and love back. What’s easy to take for granted is how often we express our gratitude and appreciation to the people that make a rich contribution to our lives. When I was 20 years old, I lost my best friend to suicide. It had been a while since I told her how much I appreciated and loved her. I then spent the next 8 years living with anger and regret. Life is precious and we don’t know when we will see our friends and loved ones again. Expressing your heartfelt feelings allows you to have no regrets for whatever tomorrow may bring. It may also be exactly what the other person needs to hear to get through their current challenges.
5. Don’t settle for less than what you truly want
You are here to create, expand, achieve, serve and receive. Through truly believing in yourself and having full trust you can achieve what you desire, you’ll stop wasting time settling for what’s in front of you out of fear you can’t get any better. You won’t live regretting you could have gone further or done more if only you didn’t settle. By continuing to focus on the goals determined by your higher guidance and not letting tests steer you off track, you can have the life of your dreams, with no regrets.
6. Creating your own definition of success is key to finding happiness
In the West we grow up learning that certain models of success are what we need to strive after. Whether it’s climbing up the corporate ladder, acquiring material possessions, or getting married and having kids, we often don’t take the time to assess if these achievements are what will truly make us fulfilled. What is right for one person may not be right for another. By identifying and honoring your unique values and the passions that drive your happiness, you can create your own definition of success that is fulfilling for your life.
7. Forgiving yourself and others leads to freedom
Forgiving yourself for the things you did in the past allows you to move forward and create the life you were born to live. Accepting what is done is done and that you now know better, allows you to drop your story and become free. Playing out regrets from the past in your mind only creates guilt, resentment, and attachment. Forgiving others is also key to dissolving any anger and resentment that may be living inside you.
Try to accept that everyone is doing the best they can with where they are at and forgive everyone for any hurt you feel they may have caused you. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you condone their actions, it just means you can let the experience go and have neutral feelings towards them rather than letting the experience eat you up inside and cause regrets. You can write a note to yourself or the people you want to forgive, expressing all your emotions. Then burn, rip, wet or bury the note to release these feelings permanently.
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许小丹丹丹
读史使人明智，读诗使人聪慧，演算使人精密，哲理使人深刻，伦理学使人有修养，逻辑修辞使人善辩。我整理了优秀英语哲理小短文，欢迎阅读!
掌握未来：我们正在起跑点
"We are reading the first verse of the first chapter of a book whose pages are infinite---"
I do not know who wrote those words, but I have always liked them as a reminder that the future can be anything we want to make it. We can take the mysterious, hazy future and carve out of it anything that we can imagine, just like a sculptor carves a statue from a shapeless stone.
We are all in the position of the farmer. If we plant a good seed, we reap a good harvest. If our seed is poor and full of weeds, we reap a useless crop. If we plant nothing at all, we harvest nothing at all.
I want the future to be better than the past. I don‘t want it contaminated by the mistakes and errors with which history is filled. We should all be concerned about the future because that is where we will spend the reminder of our lives.
The past is gone and static. Nothing we can do will change it. The future is before us and dynamic. Everything we do will effect it. Each day will brings with it new frontiers, in our homes and in our businesses, if we will only recognize them. We are just at the beginning of the progress in every field of human endeavor.
中文：
“我们正在阅读一本页数无限的书的第一章的第一节……”
我不知道这段文字是谁写的，我一直很喜欢并用它们来提醒自己，那就是未来操之在我。我们可以掌握神秘而不可知的未来，从中创出我们所能想象的任何东西，一如雕刻家可以将未成型的石头刻出雕像一样。
我们每个人都是农夫。我们若种下好种子，就会有丰收。倘若种子长得不良且长满杂草，我们就会徒劳无获。如果我们什么也不种，就根本不会有什么收获。
我希望未来会比过去更好。我不希望未来会被那些充斥在历史中的错误所污染。我们应关心未来，因为往后的余生都要在未来中度过。
往昔已一去不复返而且是静止的。任凭我们怎么努力都不能改变过去。未来就在我们眼前而且是动态的。 我们的所作所为都会影响未来。只要我们体会的出来，每天都可以发现新的知识领域伴随而生，可能是在家里，也可能是在我们的事业中。我们正处在人类所努力钻研的每个领域中进步的起点。
Life is difficult.
生活是艰辛的。
It is a great truth because once we truly understand and accept it, Then life is no longer difficult.
一旦我们懂得并接受生活,生活便不再艰难。这是伟大的真理。
Most do not fully see this truth. Instead they complain about their problem and difficulties as if life should be easy. It seems to them that difficulties represent a special kind of suffering especially forced upon them or else upon their families, their class, or even their nation.
但是大多数人没有认识到这一点。他们只会抱怨遇到的问题和生活的艰难,好像生活本不该这么艰难。似乎困难就代表了一种强加于他们,或强加于他们的家人、阶级、民族的苦难。生活之所以如此艰难,是因为面对和解决问题的过程是一个痛苦的过程。生活中不同种类的问题会给我们带来悲伤、孤独、遗憾、愤怒与恐惧。那是一种令人不舒服的感觉,像身体的疼痛一样令人痛苦。由于生活中经常会有各种各样无穷无尽的问题,生活才显得艰难并充满痛苦与欢乐。
What makes life difficult is that the process of facing and solving problems is a painful one. Problems, depending duanwenw.com on their nature , cause in us sadness or loneliness or regret or anger or fear. These are un- comfortable feelings, often as painful as any kind of physical pain. And since life causes an endless series of problems, life is always difficult and is full of pain as well as joy.
然而,正是在处理这些问题的整个过程中,生命体现出其意义所在。那些问题就是严峻的考验,能让我们分辨成功与失败。当我们鼓舞别人打起精神时,我们就是在鼓励人去解决问题,就像在学校里我们给学生设置一些问题让他们去解决一样。在面对问题与解决问题的过程中,我们不断学到新东西。正如本杰明•富兰克林所说:有些东西使我们受伤,又给我们指明方向。正因如此,许多人便学着不再恐惧,而是欢迎问题给我们带来痛苦。
Yet, it is in this whole process of solving problem that life has its meaning. Problems are the serious test that tells us success from failure. When we desire to encourage the growth of human spirit, we encourage the human ability to solve problems, just as in school we set problems for our children to solve. It is through the pain of meeting and working out problems that we learn. As Benjamin Franklin said, those things that hurt, instruct. It is for this reason that wise people learn not to fear but to welcome the pain of problems.
In every school there is a “top” crowd that sets the pace, while the others follow their lead. Let's say the top crowed decides that it is smart to wear bright red sweaters. Pretty soon everybody is wearing a bright red sweater.
每所学校中都有一群领头学生引领潮流,其他人争相效仿。比如说,这些领头学生认为穿鲜红色羊毛衫很时尚,那么很快人人都会穿上鲜红色羊毛衫。
There is something wrong with that, except the fact that on some people bright red sweater is extremely unbecoming. The situation can duanwenw.com even become dangerous, if the top crowd decides that it is smart to drink or to drive cars at seventy miles an hour. Then the people who follow the lead were endangering their lives. They are like the sheep being led to the butcher.
事实上,有些人是极不适合穿鲜红色羊毛衫的。除此以外,这件事还是有些不对劲。如果这些领头学生觉得喝酒或以70英里的时速开车很时尚的话,情况甚至会变得危险起来。这些盲从的学生在危及自己的生命,他们就像被领到屠夫前的羊群。
Now, changes are that you have come across situations like these more than once in your life; changes are that one time or another you probably did something you knew to be wrong. You may have excused yourself by saying, “Gee, the crowd does it.” Well, let the crowd do it, but don't do it yourself. Learn to say, “No!”
在你的生命中,你可能不止一次遇到这种情况;可能你时不时也会做自己知道是不对的事情。你可能会为自己开脱说:“大家都在这么做嘛。''那让大家这么做好了,但你自己不要这样做。要学会说“不!”
Develop your own standards and your own judgement. If you know the crowd is planning something you disagree to, have the courage to bow out mannerly, you'll have the satisfaction of standing on your own two feet.
要有自己衡量事物的标准。如果你知道大家正计划你不赞成的事情,鼓起勇气礼貌地退出,你会为自己学会自立感到满意的。
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