15秒英语

1.它们是从美国直接带过来的NotlongafteranoldChinesewomancamebacktoChinafromhervisittoherdaughterintheStates,shewenttoacitybanktodeposittheUSdollarsherdaughtergaveher.Atthebankcounter,theclerkcheckedeachnotecarefullytoseeifthemoneywasreal.Itmadetheoldladyoutofpatience.Atlastshecouldnotholdanymore,uttering."Trustme,Sir,andtrustthemoney.TheyarerealUSdollars.TheyaredirectlyfromAmerica."它们是从美国直接带来的一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”2.CatZhualaoshuCatchasingamousewas,intoaflowershop.MousefoundMolugetao,comfortablePickingupabouquetofroseswhenweapons,asstrongresistance.Cat1:00shocked,immediatelyDixialetou,shyandsaid:"Sigui,toosuddena……"猫抓老鼠一只老鼠被猫追赶，误入花店。老鼠发现无路可逃，顺手抱起一束玫瑰花当武器，作顽强抵抗。猫一时惊呆了，立马低下了头，羞涩地说：“死鬼，太突然了……”3.ReallyimportantforeignlanguageOnce,alargeratsandmiceinasmallDongwaiWalking.Suddenly,acatblockedentrance,rearitsuglyplunged.Desperatelyrunningrats,catsfeellikeworkontherecovery.InShanqiongshuijin,smallrodentscomeback,shouting一声directedatthecat:"bark."Cathewasscaredoff.Bigratsboast:"OKah,butalsosingle-handedly,formidable!"AsmallmouseMohan,sighedandsaidthat:"Itseemsmasteraforeignlanguageisveryimportantah!"外语真重要有一次，一只大老鼠和一只小老鼠在洞外散步。突然，一只猫堵住洞口，张牙舞爪扑来。老鼠拼命跑，猫就使劲追。就在山穷水尽时，小老鼠回过头，冲着猫大叫一声：“汪汪”。猫竟然被吓跑了。大老鼠夸道：“行啊，还会一手，厉害！”小老鼠一抹汗，感叹说：“看来掌握一门外语非常重要啊！”4.MosswipingratsMotherratssuspectedherhusbandhasanaffair,shebushesadjacenttothetrackherhusband.While,ahedgehogfromtheholesdrilledout.MotherratsYezhuahedgehog,said:"Sigui,saidnotanaffair?ShiningsomanymoussetoseduceShuixia?"擦摩丝的老鼠母老鼠怀疑老公有外遇，她跟踪老公到草丛旁。一会儿，一只刺猬从洞里钻出来。母老鼠一把拽住刺猬说：“死鬼，还说没外遇？擦这么多摩丝去勾引谁呀？”5.RatstothetoiletRatstothebenefitof,seealsoXiong,didnotQisheng,bearssawarat,andsaid:"YoudonotPickingout?"TotheratsChisuonotlanguage.Xiongasked:"Pickingoutnotah,doyou?"Ratsnervouslyandsaid:"cannot……"Xiongseizeamousebuttwipeaway!老鼠上厕所老鼠去方便，见熊也在，吓得不敢吱声，熊看了老鼠一眼，说：“你掉不掉毛？”老鼠哆嗦了一下不语。熊又问：“掉不掉毛啊，你？”老鼠战战兢兢地说：“不掉……”熊一把抓住老鼠擦擦屁股走了！What'sYouChioce?"Ishallhavetogiveyoutendaysor$20,"saidthejudge."I'lltakethe$20,Judge,"saidtheprisoner.英语笑话1Alittleboyaskedhisfather:Daddy,howmuchdoesitcosttogetmarried?Thefatherreplied:Idon'tknowson.I'mstillpaying!!一个小男孩问他的爸爸，结婚要花多少钱？爸爸说：我不知道，因为我仍然在付帐。2ASundayschoolteacherwastellingherpupilstheimportanceofmakingothersglad."Now,children,"saidshe,"hasanyoneofyouevermakesomeoneelseglad?""Please,teacher,"saidasmallboy,"I'vemakesomeonegladyesterday.""Welldone.Whowasthat?""Mygranny.""Goodboy.Nowtellushowyoumadeyourgrandmotherglad.""Please,teacher,Iwenttoseeheryesterday,andstayedwithherthreehours.ThenIsaidtoher,'Granny,I'mgoinghome,'andshesaid,'Well,I'mglad'!"一个主日学校校(基督教教会为了向儿童灌输宗教思想,在星期天开的儿童班)的老师在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在，孩子们，”她说：“你们当中有谁让别人高兴过？”“我，老师，”一个小男孩说：“昨天我就使别人高兴过。”“做得好，是谁呢？”“我奶奶。”“好孩子。现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。”“是这样的，老师。我昨天去看她，在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她说：‘啊，我很高兴！3Dickwassevenyearsold,andhissister,Catherine,wasfive.Onedaytheirmothertookthemtotheiraunt'shousetoplaywhileshewenttothebigcitytobuysomenewclothes.Thechildrenplayedforanhour,andthenathalfpastfourtheiraunttookDickintothekitchen.Shegavehimanicecakeandaknifeandsaidtohim,"Nowhere'saknife,Dick.Cutthiscakeinhalfandgiveoneofthepiecestoyoursister,butremembertodoitlikeagentleman.""Likeagentleman?"Dickasked."Howdogentlemendoit?""Theyalwaysgivethebiggerpiecetotheotherperson."answeredhisauntatonce."Oh"saidDick.Hethoughtaboutthisforafewseconds.Thenhetookthecaketohissisterandsaidtoher,"Cutthiscakeinhalf,Catherine.".迪克年龄七岁，他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。一天，妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩，自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。孩子们玩了个把小时，在四点半的时候，姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并对他说：“喏，迪克，给你刀子，把这块蛋糕一切为二，给你妹妹一块。不过，你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。”迪克问：“像一个绅士？绅士怎样做呢？”他姨妈马上回答说：“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的。”迪克说了一声“噢”。他对此想了一会，然后，他把蛋糕拿给妹妹，并对她说：“凯瑟琳，你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧。”4Stan:Iwon92goldfish.Fred:Whereareyougoingtokeepthem?Stan:Inthebathroom。Fred:Butwhatwillyoudowhenyouwanttotakeabath?Stan:Blindfoldthem!斯丹：我赢了92条金鱼。弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！5Georgeknockedonthedoorofhisfriend'shouse.Whenhisfriend'smotheransweredheasked,“canAlbertcomeouttoplay?”“No,”saidthemother,“it'stoocold.”“Well,then,”saidGeorge,“canhisfootballcomeouttoplay?”乔冶敲着他朋友家的门。当朋友的妈妈来应门时，他问：“阿尔伯特可以出来玩吗？”“不行，”那位妈妈说，“天气太冷了。”“噢，那么，”乔冶，“他的足球可以出来玩吗？