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英语搞笑短剧剧本5—6人 三打白骨精 ThreeTimes’BeatingMonster 人物:T唐僧S:孙悟空E:猪八戒J:沙僧 B:白骨精B1:B变成的村姑B2:B变成的太婆 B3:B变化成的老头N:哪吒 T:Emitofo,doyouknowwherewearenow? S:Bajie,map! E:(摸出,递给S) S:Look,master(凑近T)………(T、S一齐转向E) T:Bajie!HowManytimesIhavetoldyou,noftobringthesepicturesofbeautifulgirlswithyou! E:Oh,master!Forgiveme(伸手拿回) T:(缩手)I’llkeepitforyouuntilwereachthewest E:But…… T:Emitofo,nothingislust,lustisnothing!Map? E:(递)Here.Em……wehavearrivedinWhiteTigerMountain!AhIcan’twalkonanymore!(坐)Mystomachdoesn’tallowSo. S:FatPig! E:Monkey,ifyoudaretosaythesetwowordsonceagain,Iwill,Iwill………. S:Youwillwhat(凶相)? E:(软禁)Iwillhelpyoucatchfleas(跳蚤). S:Hm! T:(轻咳)Wukong,factually,IamabithungryCouldyougotogetmesomefood? E:Yousee,masterishungry,too! T:Baijie!Don’tforgetwhoatemylastmeal! J:Butmaster,ifamonstercomeswhilebrothermonkeyisaway….. T:Em…….Itisaproblem.Wukong,doyouhaveanyidea? S:Noproblem!(安装)(B已躲在一旁偷看) E:Thisis…..? S:Electricnet!Ihavelearnttheenergyofelectricityfrommaster’sbooks.SoImadethis.Nomonstercanapproachyouifyoustayinit! T:Em……Wukong,youarebecomingmoreandmorescientific!Emitofo,knowledgeispower! S:Bye!(走) T:Let’splaycards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》 B:Hm!Hm!Electricnet?Youaretoochildish.(变成B1) B1:(接近三人,望着)CanIjoinyou? T:I’msorry,lady.WeareplayingFightingAgainstLandlordandthreepeopleareenough. B1:(在一旁观看)Oh,Chance!Bomb! T:Bomb?(打出) B1:DoubleKing! T:Oh….Iwin!Em……,Lady,youareamaster-hand.Comeinandteachme!(准备开电网门) S:(回来,看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打) B1:(倒)Ah…… T:(气愤)Wukong!Lookwhathavedone!Sheismyteacher! S:Sheisamonster! T:Nonsense!(深呼吸) S:Oh,pleasedon’t…… T:It’stoolate!(唱)Oncemore……youopenthedoor…(泰坦尼克主题曲,走音离谱) S:Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头) T:(呛住,咳)Wukong,I’mdisappointedwithyou! B:(真身出现)Hm!SunWukong,I’llteachyoualesson!(变成太婆) B2:Hello,haveyouseenmydaughter? T:Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑,B2想看后面是什么,T挡) S:(咬牙切齿)Youmonster,I’llbeatyouintohell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后,S打,不想打到T头,T晕,S再打死B2) E&J:AreyouOk,master?(扶T) J:Look,(伸食指)howmany? T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)SunWukong,gameover!(变成B3) B3:(看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,mydaughter,mywife!Whodidit?!!(哭喊) S:I’llkillyou,monster!(打) T:(想阻止,未及)You,you.....(险些晕,E,J扶住)Youhavekilledthreelives! S:No,theyarenothumanbeings!Theyarecreatedbymonster! T:Monster?Youarearealmonster!Neverletmeseeyou,go!! S:(悲,离去)(音乐,营造“假”悲伤气氛)《人鬼情未了》 E:Master,brotherMonkeyis....... T:Scratch!Don'tmentionthatguyanymore! B:(出现)Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走) T:(惊)Youare...... B:Howfoolishyouare,MrTang!(E,J去阻斗,被击退) B:(抓住T)I'llenjoyyourmeatandblood,ha,ha...... S:(悄悄走到B后,打B,B晕)Athousandyearslater. T:Wukong? E:Oh,BrotherMonkey! J:Ourheroisback! T:I,Ican'tunderstand......Whathappened? S:Master,yourIQneedsincreasing!Thismonsterchangeditsappearanceintothreeshapesinordertocheatyou! T:How,howdidyoufindout? S:(沉默).......Monkey'sintuition(直觉) N:Excuseme,whereisthecniminal? S;Ah......youaretoolate,Nezha!(对T)I'vecalledthepolice. N:(摇醒B)Youareunderarrest.(出示证件)YouhavetherighttoremainsilentIfyougiveuptheright,anythingyouwillsaycanandwillbeagainstyouinacourtoflaw!(带走B) T:Wukong(S不理T)Iadmitmymistakethistime(S仍不理)I'msorry(小声) S:What? T:I'msorry. S:Em?Louder,please? T:I......am......sorry.....(S捂耳)(音乐响)《敢问路在何方》(这个放伴奏) T:Let'sgoguys!(歌) S:Youarecarryingtheluggage,Iamleadingthehorse. E:Saygoodbyetothesun,Welcomeeveningglow. J:Sleepingontheground,againwesetoutsetout,againwesetout. T.S.E.J:Ah......Ah......Sleepingonthegroundagainwesetout. T:Oneaftertheothertheseasonsgoby,andoheaftertheother,theyeargoon.Youwonderwheretheroadis.Theroadisunderyourfeet. T.S.E.J:Youuonderwheretheroadis,theroadisunderyourfeet...... (谢幕) 这里有上百个英文小品剧本 你可以根据你的实际情况挑选 呵呵 英语小品剧本

英文搞笑短剧

276 评论(8)

joannekaka

绝对是搞笑英语剧本:Narration: Carrie, Cici and Wing are co-worker of a company. This day they are talking in the office.Ca: Bingo! I finally finish this case. It is really tough! I have not slept well for almost a week.Wing: Me too .I always get so busy in this season. I have drunk three cups of coffee in order to keep awake.Ci: Our boss must be enjoying his holiday in Fiji very much. What do you think he will feel when he comes back to see our case?Ca:Of course he will feel surprised and give each of us a promotion.Wing: Come on, he is a devil, how could he do this to us? Anyway, we should award ourselves for these days hard work!Ca: You are right. Let’s pig out on junk food!Wing: I have stayed in China for a whole year and I miss my hometown. I miss German food!Ca: so do I .how much I love French food!Ci: I have not eaten German or French food before. Do you have any recommendation?Ca: If you visit France or go to a French restaurant, snails, cheese, and goose liver and red wine are the best choices.Wing: You also can’t miss the famous German sausage, ham and blue checseCi: They all sound yummy. But do you know what Chinese eat when they miss their families?Wing&Ca: NoCi: The answer is dumplings!Ca:Well ,I heard that before though I haven’t tasted .Wing: Can you make dumplings, CiCi? Would you make some for us? I have been longing for dumplings for a long time.Ci: Aha, it is as easy as a pie for me .what about coming to my house tonight? We can make dumplings together. I will teach you how to cook it.Ca: Great! That is fantastic. Then it will be the first time to make and eat dumplingsWing: Very good idea! We could busy some basic ingredient at the supper market after work.Ci: Sure.We need flour, yeast, pork, cabbages, vinegar, sauce and ginger.(The three colleagues had their shopping and now they are in CiCi’s house)CiCiours some pour on the table and said:”Carrie, can you fetch some water here?”Ca: sure, here you are .what s next?Ci:Ci:we have to mix the flour yeast and water together .be careful ,don’t add too much water.Ca: Okay, I’m kneeing the dough repentedly.it is becoming and softerWing: Yeah, I am cutting the pork into many small pieces, and then I will add several spoons of oil in it .shall I blend them?CiCi: Yes, make sure they blend well. A bit salt and a spoon of vinegar are needed, too.(an hour later)Ca: Yes, the dumplings are prepared .lets start!CiCi: Wait! I remember well that you all miss the food from your hometown.Look, what are these?Ca: Wow! Cheese! Where did you get it? And my favorite red wine.Wing: God. Those are sausage and ham, I can’t believe it!CiCi: Haha, it is a big surprise, isn’t it? Now ,we are got all three countries’ food ready.Ca: So it is a complete big meal.Wing: An unforgettable banquet in my life. Let’s cheers!Ca, Ci, Wing: Cheers!

140 评论(9)

减肥的小新

六人的英语搞笑话剧:《 荆珂刺秦王》

旁白(Aside )/介绍(Introduction):

Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.

Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time?

很久以前有一个疯狂的国家,在这个疯狂的国家里有一些疯狂的人,试图用疯狂的方式展示疯狂的历史。荆轲先生是最有名的剑客,他被派去杀清王“嬴政”。但最后他失败了。你想知道当时发生了什么吗?

Action I(第一幕)

太子丹(上,掏出镜子梳头,做自恋状):Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (镜子,镜子,告诉我,谁是世界上最漂亮的男人)

(画外音:It's you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状)Thank you mirror! (面对观众)

I'm Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.

But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. So what can I do? Where is my minister?

(我是丹王子,魔镜说我是世界上最有魅力的男人。但是嬴政是个嫉妒心很强的人,我觉得如果镜子告诉他真相,他会杀了我的。那我该怎么办?我的部长在哪里?)

阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.(殿下,我来了)

太子丹:I've told you again and again that you should call me: "my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan."

(我一再告诉你,你应该叫我:“我最美丽、最优雅、最英俊、最迷人、最可爱、最聪明、最亲爱的丹王子。)

阿三:Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng.(作杀状)

(好的,殿下。我有一个好主意。我们可以找一个人去杀了嬴政)

太子:Oh yeah. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!(二十一世纪最需要的是什么,人才!然后拍阿三肩膀,做赞许状) Good idea! But who is the right candidate?

阿三:After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.

(经过筛选,我手头上有两个有前途的人。一个是李莫愁小姐,另一个是荆轲先生。明天他们将为世界头号杀手PK。)

太子:Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?

(好吧,尽快给我看看赢家,好吗?)

阿三:Yes.(好的。)

Action II(第二幕)(《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐)

荆轲:Are you Li mochou?(你是李莫愁?)

李莫愁:Yes.(是的。)

荆轲:OK. I'm Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers' world.

(好啊。我是荆轲,你知道,我会让你知道我是杀手世界之王。)

李莫愁:Are you challenging me?(你在挑战我吗?)

荆轲:Off course!( 耸耸肩表示同意)

李莫愁:Come on!

音乐起,两人冲上前来,“人在江湖漂啊,哪有不挨刀啊,一刀砍死你啊,两刀砍死你啊。”

李莫愁倒地,荆轲大笑。

李莫愁痛苦状:What happened? Why aren't you hurt?

(发生了什么?为什么你不会受伤?)

荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? (赢一个人需要理由么,不需要么,需要么?)

李莫愁:Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.

(妈妈总是说:“人生就像一盒巧克力,莫愁。你永远不知道你会得到什么。“我知道了,妈妈是对的。)

荆轲再次大笑

太子丹上(抱拳):How are you?

荆柯:Fine, thank you, and you?

太子丹:Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you?”

荆柯:Sure!

太子丹:How are you?

荆柯:Fine, thank you, and your wife?

太子丹晕倒

荆柯:Hey, man, I’m kidding!

太子丹:Oh, I’m kidding too!(毕恭毕敬)May I have your name card, please?

荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸,上面写着:To be or not to be, that's a question.

(生存还是毁灭,这是个问题。)

阿三:Hero,we need your help.(好汉,我们需要你的帮助。)

荆柯:I am busy now!(我忙着呢!)

太子丹:You can get a lot of money.(你可以得到很多钱。)

荆柯:I am very busy now!(我现在非常的忙。)

阿三:IC, ID, IQ card?

荆柯:I am very very busy now!(我真的真的非常忙。)

阿三(手指上场的美女,激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.(你看,那是世界上最美丽的女子,如果你答应了,她就是你的了。)

荆柯(流口水):I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!

(我不得不说她是个性感又美丽的女人,但TCM才是我唯一的爱人。)

阿三:What? What's the TCM?

荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn't know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.(小子,看你挺聪明却不知道TCM。让我来告诉你吧。)

阿三:Excuse me? What’s the TCM?

观众甲:TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .

太子丹:I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.

(我必须给你看王牌。女士们先生们,这是利普顿减肥茶。是联合利华中国的一个全新产品。)

荆柯(激动):Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn't reduce my weight.

(减肥茶!我已经梦想了几千次了。我妻子总是威胁说如果我不能减肥就离开我。)

阿三:You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I'm very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?

(你想要什么?如果你愿意,就大声说!你为什么保持沉默?你为什么看着我?虽然你的眼睛充满了诚意,但我很高兴,你还是得大声说。拿着它!你真的喜欢吗?真的?)

荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.

(告诉我该怎么办?我愿意为你做任何事。)

太子丹与阿三(撞胯,击掌):Yeah!

全剧终

拍英语话剧的注意事项

1、首先,组员要熟悉理解剧本,能够充分理解剧本的内容,然后进行表情和细节性的标注,这样会有助于现场的拍摄,同样进行一幕一幕的划分,这样不会使组员太过紧张忘词。

2、其次就是准备道具,一定要全,老师会很在意我们在细节方面的用心程度,倘若我们精心地准备了道具的话,会给老师留下一个不错的印象,很容易得高分。

3、然后就是角色的分配,一定要合理,要根据人们在现实生活中的性格进行分配,这样有助于增加话剧的真实性,从而更生动,同时也要考虑到不同组员的英语水,要考虑周全。

4、然后最最最重要的便是背台词,一定要理解,切记,当我们感觉一句话念不通的时候,可以用简单句进行改写,便于背诵也便于理解,不一定一字不差的照着剧本背,这样也违背了我们学英语的初衷。

5、然后便是拍摄,注意的是情感的投入尤其是表情,还有就是拍摄的角度一定要合理,符合当时情景。进行一幕一幕地拍摄,中途有适当的休息。然后就是尽量多个角度进行切镜头,这样效果会好很多。

6、然后就是后期制作,这一点尤为重要,主要分为四部分,一、片头和片尾的制作,二、视频的剪辑,三、片头和片尾音乐的挑选,四、字幕的制作。

188 评论(14)

小吃货圈圈y

送个两个 ,你自己选一个,第一个比较搞笑 ,第二个比较简单 你自己看着办 ,但愿有你喜欢的 !英语搞笑话剧《孔雀东南飞》 Wander severy five miles 焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort) 焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort) 太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC) Prologue本文转自:小品剧本,简历封面,免费电影 (J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪) J:Everybody says that I'm henpecked,but in fact,I’m as strong as a tiger,(小声)while my wife is WuSong. (指着上台处的门大声道)I’m not afraid of you! (内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’m afraid of whom? My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.She is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me.All this I do not care.I only want her to be tender than me.But she is not!Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell(地狱)! (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J) MyGod!Who can help me?(下) Act1 (序幕结束时,JM作窃听状) JM(拄拐棍上):I can! (对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Where are you? L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’m here!What’s up mum? JM:I‘ve told you again and again that you should call me“my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”. L:OK.My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law,what’s up? JM:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly.You have been so rude,so brusque,so lazy…… L:But…… JM:Never interrupt me! L:Never interrupt me!Since I married your son,that terrible Johnny,I have been working hard all day long,cooking and washing.I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken and…… JM:But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson! L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,you want a grandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Go and ask your son.I’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下) Act2 (LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上) L:Mum,I’m back! LM:You are back?Why?What happened? L:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law. LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!I have already told you!When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny,I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor,but you did not listen to me.Look at yourself…… L:But,mum…… LM:Never interrupt me! L:Mum,I’m not interrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right OK? And I’ll marry whom ever you want me to. LM(大喜):Nice girl!Just now,I met the mayor’s son in the market.He said:“If your daughter Haven‘t been married,I really really want to marry her!”Now you are free again,I’ll go and tell him.(下) L(惊愕):What?The mayor’s son?The most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的锅铲掉在地上)What a silly thing I have done (下) Act3本文转自:(J睡眼惺忪上) J(边走边道):Lunch! Lunch !Where are my socks? (走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Here they are!(闻一下) Er!How smelly!They are stilldirty! (突然想起)Lunch has gone!I have to wash them myself. (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’m so hungry!But there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围 裙)This is what Lunch always wears!I miss her so much,and her excellent cooking skill!Now she has gone.I have to cook for my mother and myself. JM(上):Where’s my breakfast?Where’s Lunch?Hasn’t she got up yet? J:Mum,can’t you remember?Lunch has gone! JM(沉吟刻):Well,to tell you the truth Johnny,a son without a wife is useless.Lunch is a nice girl,go and take her back! J(立正敬礼):Yes madam! Act4 (J开心地走着,忽然跳出来三个强盗) A:Hey you!Stop and Listen to us! The road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上) B:And I planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上) C:If you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头,但踩到了A的脚) AB&C:Give us all your money! J(搜遍了每一个口袋,掏出1角硬币):Is 1mao enough? (三强盗晕倒状,接着三人聚在一边商量) A:What bad luck!This guy is broken! B:If we can not rob any money today,we will have nothing to eat tonight! C:I heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry Miss Liu Lanzhi next month.WE can go and rob the wedding! A&B:Good idea! J(惊讶):What?What?Lunch is going to get married?It’s impossible! AB&C:Why?A pretty girl and a rich man,what a good couple! J:But Lunch is my wife!We haven’t got divorced yet! (突然有了主意)I’ve got an idea!You are going to rob the wedding,don’t you?I’ll go with you.You take the money and I take the bride. B:Have you got any experience? J:No.But I’ve got this!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票,上书$1,000,000) Act5(转眼已到了婚礼之期.MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上,J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台) (J和三强盗跃至台中) ABC&J:Hey you!Stop and listen to us! A:The road is built by me! B:And I planted one tree. C:If you want to go by this street--- J:Give us all your money! (L听到J的声音,掀起了盖头) L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后) (MS大怒,挥拳向J打来.J矮身一躲,MS打中了J身后的L,L晕倒) J(火冒三丈):How dare you beat my wife!(挥拳向MS冲去) (J与MS混战,JM上,以拐杖击晕MS) (J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前) J(扶起L,关切地问):Honey,how are you? L(哭状):I hurt a lot! J:Don’t cry baby.I’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下) L(起身去追):Wait for me! (跑下) (音乐起 Can You Celebrate) 2、英语短剧:小兔子乖乖 时间:阳光明媚的星期天早晨 地点:鸟语花香的动物王国 人物:Little Duck,Miss Cat, Miss Rabbit,Mr Dog 旁白:Little Duck要去看望外婆。一路上他又唱又跳,高兴极了。在小河边,他碰到了Miss Cat。 Duck:(很好奇)Hello,Miss Cat.Whatre you doing? Cat:(急得抓耳挠腮)Hello,Little Duck.Theres a big fish in the river.Im hungry,but I cant get it. Duck:Dont worry.Let me help you. (Little Duck跳进水里,一会儿就帮Miss Cat抓到了鱼。) Duck:Here is the fish for you,Miss Cat.Have a good meal. Cat:Thank you,Little Duck.You are so kind. Duck:Thats all right,Miss Cat.I must go now.Im going to my grandmothers home.Bye-bye! Cat:Bye-bye! (Little Duck继续赶路。忽然他看到Miss Rabbit躺在草地上,连忙跑过去。) Rabbit:(躺在草地上)Oh,Little Duck.I run too fast and my leg is broken.I cant stand up and I cant walk. Duck:Dont worry.Let me help you. (Little Duck拿出一条手帕帮Miss Rabbit包扎好伤口,然后扶着她回家。) Duck:Dontworry,Miss Rabbit.Youll getwellsoon. Rabbit:Yes,I will.Thank you,Little Duck.Its so kind of you. Duck:Not at all,Miss Rabbit.But I must go now.Im going to my grandmothers home.Good-bye! Rabbit:Good-bye! (Little Duck唱着歌又开始上路了,走着走着,他看到Mr Dog坐在家门口,看上去非常着急。) Duck:Good morning,Mr Dog.You look worried.What can I do for you? Dog:Oh,good morning,Little Duck.I got a letter from my friend,Mr Cock.ButIcantread and Idontknow what he wants me to do. Duck:Dont worry,Mr Dog.Let me help you. (Mr Dog笑呵呵地把信递给Little Duck,Little Duck很仔细地将信的内容读给Mr Dog听。) Dog:(满意地笑)Thank you,Little Duck.Its really very kind of you. Duck:Youre welcome,Mr Dog.(抬头看看挂在半空中的太阳)But I must go now.Im going to see my grandmother. Dog:(摸摸Little Duck的头)Dont worry,Little Duck.Let me send you to your grandmothers home. Duck:Thank you,Mr Dog. (Mr Dog驮着Little Duck一路欢歌笑语向外婆家跑去……)

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可乐狗DOGS

《 荆珂刺秦王》旁白(Aside )/介绍(Introduction): Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman剑客 and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹(上,掏出镜子梳头,做自恋状):Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音:It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! (面对观众) I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.太子丹:I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!阿三:Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~(作杀状)太子:Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!(二十一世纪最需要的是什么,人才!然后拍阿三肩膀,做赞许状) Good idea! But who is the right candidate?阿三:After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子:Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?阿三:Yes.Action II(《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐)荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊,哪有不挨刀啊,一刀砍死你啊,两刀砍死你啊.”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状:What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? (赢一个人需要理由么,不需要么,需要么?)李莫愁:Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.荆轲再次大笑太子丹上(抱拳):How are you?荆柯:Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹:Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?荆柯:Sure!太子丹:How are you?荆柯:Fine, thank you, and your wife?太子丹晕倒荆柯:Hey, man, I’m kidding!太子丹:Oh, I’m kidding too!(毕恭毕敬)May I have your name card, please?荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸,上面写着:To be or not to be, that's a question.阿三:Hero,we need your help.荆柯:I am busy now! 太子丹:You can get a lot of money.荆柯:I am very busy now!阿三:IC, ID, IQ card?荆柯:I am very very busy now!阿三(手指上场的美女,激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.荆柯(流口水):I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!阿三:What? What’s the TCM?荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.阿三:Excuse me? What’s the TCM?观众甲:TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .太子丹:I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.荆柯(激动):Slimming减食疗法 tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.阿三:You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧?难道你真的想要吗……荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.太子丹与阿三(撞胯,击掌)Yeah!

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小狼雪子

成长的烦恼、走遍美国之类的都可以

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