Admittedly，with the rapid development of contemporary technology，artificial intelligence is of great significance for Improve human quality of 这一句我觉得后面是“of great significance to improve human quality of life”，这里应用to，对于提高人类生活质量非常重要，of great significance其实就相当于形容词。medical science， physics and entertainment这里只是举例了人工智能应用的方面。但你没有用观点和详细例子说明人工智能的优势在哪里。Admittedly，with the rapid development of contemporary technology，artificial intelligence is of great significance for Improve human quality of Artificial intelligence is widely applied in medical science， physics and （）我建议你改成“人工智能被广泛应用于医药科学，物理学和娱乐方面”。然后后面省略号的位置你应该说明人工智能的优势是什么。比如，你可以说Generally， artificial intelligence has 接着就举出它的优势是什么，可以举例说明。 说完优势，就说劣势“On the other hand， we should also see its ”（注意人工智能应用it代替，不要用物主代词his）The following solutions can account for this First and foremost，there is no doubt that artificial intelligence can make our work facilitate Base on a most recent ，it is a revealed that a majority of successful social elites admitted that AI help they finish work The ，这一句我不懂你想表达什么？既然前面你说我们也要看到它的劣势。你同样也要举例说明它的劣势是什么，而不是重新回到advantages这个点上。应该分别说完人工智能的优势和劣势之后再进行总结。我觉得你开头写得还不错，但是后面很混乱。开头：写人工智能在社会的一个现象或情况主体：可以先表达自己对于人工智能的观点，你支持还是反对（ 如果是议论文最好这样写啦），然后写优势和劣势。结尾：写完主题内容，就总结啦（可以先写自己的观点，但如果前面已经写了，就不用写啦），可以表达利大于弊或弊大于利。交代一下你对人工智能未来前景的期待也可以。这样写逻辑就非常清晰啦。我觉得你用词还是挺不错的，但不要只注重套模板哦，要注意文章的逻辑性。最后如果你认同我的观点，希望你能采纳我的回答。♪(^∇^*)
The stroy has used the narrative writting style and all in all， the structure of the passage is quite clear， except that the first paragraph is not congruent with the rest of passage as it uses the first-person "I" whereas the rest is in thrid- The passage naratates the hardship of George Mingus in achieving his goal in dancing， and finally hit his gaol after going through all the trials and The story was fluently written， yet， it is just as plain as the unprocessed water that lacks of a sense of attraction to readers and make it a rather ordinary story， when the George was on his hardship， there was scarce description of the twists and gripping scenes to let the readers know how determined George was in achieving his Lack of specific description also leads to the unattractiveness of the whole passage， and hence it will be losing its readers' attention and interest in continuing In my humble opinion， the first sentence of the opening paragraph is in total a redundant statement， the story can be told in flash back， put the achievement of George at the beginning of the story， making readers wondering what is it to make George Speaking of the misuse of language in the passage， there are quite number of The tone of the passage is rather confussing， it used "I" to start the passage at the beginning， and then changed to thrid-person in telling the Unclear in the tenses also， the first sentence of the second paragraph ought not to be in present Another language mistake is that the quotations and dialogues should not be in the middle of the paragraph， in appropriate English， dialogues and quotations should be started in a new separated The rest is fairly fine， It is suggestible to use more fancy words and good phrases to rose the readers' interests in
Eduation is a triune behavior of school，society and Social education eventually embodies the supply of available educational resources which are made use of by families and Nowadays，the forms of home-school cooperation are As one of the 2007 Shanghai government practical projects，"Home-School Interaction"provides a new dialogual platform for teachers，parents and students，which reflects the developmental trend of networking ，virtualization，internationalization and individualization of current human At the same time，there are many problems of "Home-School Interaction"，whcih has become an important subject of educational theortical Among that，there are obvious differences between primary schools and middle schools in the usage of "Home-School Interaction"network This article is based on the "Home-School Interaction"network platform's putting up Author analyzes reasons of problems and then puts forward sloving strategies，activily discusses the practical models of home-school cooperation and promotes it in a healthy way through questionnaires and
