孩子你以前写的都是高中作文或者四六级作文吧，得慢慢转型适合这种风格的议论文了。这种文章假如你以后考托福或者GRE都是很必要的……fortunately你对文章结构的感觉很不错！这就是标准的文章。 我先回答一下你的问题，一会儿修改的时候再把作文给你附上。 怎么说呢，你最初对首段的想法很经典，也是国内考试中特别推崇的一种格式。但是老外不喜欢看，如果写在四六级作文里就会得很高分。根据你的题目来看，应该是适应国外考试的，所以我就根据我的GRE托福经验给你说了……希望对你有帮助吧。如果你觉得太单调的话，就把第一段换成介绍这个问题的背景。一会儿我的文章就这么写，你可以看一看。 先吃饭去，一会儿回来集中精力给你写作文。 Important values in family lifeEvery individual in the society comes from a No matter large or small， most people have to find ways to get along well with their In this process， some understand the important values that matters much in family life， while other who cannot perform as well as the formers can suffer from serious problems， such as depression， conflicts and even Therefore， it is of great significance to discuss these values， to understand them and put them into Viewed personally， the top most important value in family life is For one thing， the value of loyalty can be easily understood in cases of Since the dawn of civilization， human beings felt hard to tolerate sharing company with If one of the couple is also intertested in others and cannot focus on his or her current company， the other would feel left out thus get enraged or Such families can never last For another， despite couples， large families also needs to be loyal to each Imagine a child who thinks other children's parents are better than his own' His parents' hearts would be hurt because it is them who care about the child every day and pay everything for This is another aspect of In short， loyalty is the basic rule in a stable In addition， families should be supportive to each other no matter what Every person gets depressed once in a while， and during this time， however strong he or she is， some comforting touches and encouraging words would cheer the person Friends can come and go， but families are A supportive family can be the precious source of couragement， confidence and When stars get awards， they all thank their family on the stage for their continuous support all the way That is just one case of why families' being supportive means a lot to Sometimes， a person may not agree with what his or her family does， but it is his responsibility to support the family's decision， and encourage him to do the right thing， which is actually what people want to get when they turn to a Finally， understanding and fulfilling one's responsibility is also an important value in family Since the beginning， family members are bounded to each other by Wives need to keep husbands neat and clean， make houses tidy and be gentle to guests; husbands have to work hard， be strong mentally and physically， and support the family economically; children should learn knowledge as much as they can， and be obedient to his This responsibility bound can be extended to When people are under the pressure of responsibility， they get impelled to work hard on their own duties， which gradually makes a harmonious family， and even a Responsibility is a good way to make every part of the society machine perform In conclusion， a family would not be tight and intimate without values of loyalty， support and In fact， other factors also mean a lot such as members should look at each other in an admiring way， believing they are the best; and people should think about things in each other's way， so that they could understand them Everyone should think deep about the ways they treat their families so that the whole family could be stable and 还是关于你的问题，第一段你就介绍背景吧，就是你所说的“废话”，说是废话，但是写起来还是有学问的，最好说的深入一些，多深都可以，最终引出话题，但是你不能一直讲一个意思，翻来覆去的说，那样的话就是真的废话了。这个问题的后续解决方法是这样的：所有的具体论述段（234）的段首句必须是该段的中心句，一定要言简意赅，最多也就是承上启下，但是句一定要概括段意。这个无论是国内还是国外考试都一定要注意的，共同要求。关于这三个问题的综述呢，你可以挪到总结段去说。这样整篇文章就不会有重复。你看，按照原来的方式，第一段说到了这三个价值观，每段开头说一次，总结的时候还要说一次，就显得你没话说对吧。 按照我说的这种套路处理一下应该能好很多。这次把我的作文套路介绍给你了，还是经历过各种实践考验的，四级六级托福GRE都是高分，也算经验之谈吧，希望有帮助。有问题联系我。
A Bud in Winter， a Blossom in VaneEntering an era of opening up and reformation， many exotic things were being thrust into our However， this double-edged sword brought us more evil than No matter what we have been forced to accept， all are destined to be cleansed according to our own Confucian-oriented Historically， many of our cultural advantages had been nipped in the bud brutally and despotically during the “Cultural Revolution” Sooner after that fiasco， Deng Xiaoping， the second generation leader and the Messiah of China， went the extra mile for the blossom of our economy accompanied by political and cultural civilization But our absorption of western culture did not go A winter， or rather a savannah of culture， was awaiting westernization if no limited policy were Cultural development after “Culture Revolution” was also an abyss of disasters: hackneyed thoughts， forged reluctance， commotion and humanitarian vicissitude Everything of that epoch showed the clairvoyance of a doomed How about the social atmosphere? A hook of requiem fastened to the People all around had their chutzpah and pizzazz gradually and unconsciously Creativity circumvented our nation; innovation sidestepped Anything aggressive vanished during that domineering A deluge of western culture? Never!Circumspect Confucianism would be unhappy to witness such an era of flooding scrimmaging culture: Greek culture， British culture， American culture and even African Instead it could turn its nose upon these After all， for over 5， 000 years， our ancestors and us were inculcated that men and women all had their compulsory rights and obligations， which， I think， still dominates our outlook on life， society and It is not a time warp; it is It is not hero warship; it is It is not a ghost town; it is Confronting this， the stable Confucianism， kids born in 1990s， now entering 21st century， choose to indulge in the merry-go-round of western turmoil， to depreciate the quietude and bona fides of our national Westernization， the Genghis Khan， bestowed upon the after-90s generation a waste land of cultural Being an apostle of promoting national culture， I am not going to be a bombastic I will back up everyone， in this mercurial fuss， who garners information to germinate our unparalleled Western culture shall Teetering on the edge of collapse， socialist culture with Chinese characteristics should winnow someone out from those whimsical cossets to formulate a cortège for western Obviously， we have the carte blanche to narrow the entrance of western cultures using our “iron rations” of Confucianism to irradiate national Personally， individual should control the deus ex machine to create a seedbed for national They could join in some NGOs (Non-Governmental Organizations) and even found their A second way should be adopted among root-class people， who are the foundation of our national CPC (Communist Party of China) should also promulgate some efficient policy to obliterate and torpedo western culture and its But the situation for us is that we are like an octogenarian， immaculated and almost dying in some western Hence an odyssey of our strong-handed implementation of these Curfew may be a Band-Aid， which will not be an everlasting We should converge our efforts in front of such a great barrier that has been a century long In one word， western culture and its import should be on strict (578)
